How to break doubts, fear and inaction?

[Adarsha]

I recently reread Unscripted . Out of all the valuable informations provided one of them -desert of dissertation-has occupied my mind. This is because I have been facing this problem for sometime.

To state more clearly, whenever I try out something new I feel like I should quit. I just cannot be confident on myself. I feel like I will end up in a disaster. My mind just continuously pictures the worst case scenario making working things out harder and harder.

On the bright side, I however do not quit and complete whatever I have started.

But the irrational amount of fear has never stopped. I had thought if I have tried going outside my comfort zone quite often such fear will end. That is sadly not the case.

Some reasons which I feel are still making me scared are:
1. Fearing negative criticism
2. Anxiety over delivering correctly (rather perfectly)
3. Positive feedback does not bring in much confidence in me.

Even right now writing this very post I am just getting tempted to delete it and just forget about it. I am imagining scenario where you will be mocking my situation. Rationally, that is not going to happen. These irrational fear is just striking me again and again. Therefore, I cannot leave this problem just the way it is.

So if you have faced a similar situation what have you done?

How did you stopped fearing negative criticism and started accepting them for your improvement?

How did you build up your self confidence?

Thank you for helping me out.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Paul David]

I recently reread Unscripted . Out of all the valuable informations provided one of them -desert of dissertation-has occupied my mind. This is because I have been facing this problem for sometime.

To state more clearly, whenever I try out something new I feel like I should quit. I just cannot be confident on myself. I feel like I will end up in a disaster. My mind just continuously pictures the worst case scenario making working things out harder and harder.

On the bright side, I however do not quit and complete whatever I have started.

But the irrational amount of fear has never stopped. I had thought if I have tried going outside my comfort zone quite often such fear will end. That is sadly not the case.

Some reasons which I feel are still making me scared are:
1. Fearing negative criticism
2. Anxiety over delivering correctly (rather perfectly)
3. Positive feedback does not bring in much confidence in me.

Even right now writing this very post I am just getting tempted to delete it and just forget about it. I am imagining scenario where you will be mocking my situation. Rationally, that is not going to happen. These irrational fear is just striking me again and again. Therefore, I cannot leave this problem just the way it is.

So if you have faced a similar situation what have you done?

How did you stopped fearing negative criticism and started accepting them for your improvement?

How did you build up your self confidence?

Thank you for helping me out.

I suffer from the same and I've had businesses since I left school 25 years ago.

Even now I'm reluctant to tell people about my app because I'm afraid of rejection or hearing people say no.

The only answer really you need, and trust me I've read a lot on the subject is to simply take action. Each day you build up habits by taking action and it will make it easier as time goes on.

Make a step by step plan, and think like a robot and follow it.

This book might help:

Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible, One Rejection at a Time: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection: Amazon.co.uk: Jia Jiang: 9780804141383: Books

Buy Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible, One Rejection at a Time: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang (ISBN: 9780804141383) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

www.amazon.co.uk

 

[Adarsha]

I suffer from the same and I've had businesses since I left school 25 years ago.

Even now I'm reluctant to tell people about my app because I'm afraid of rejection or hearing people say no.

The only answer really you need, and trust me I've read a lot on the subject is to simply take action. Each day you build up habits by taking action and it will make it easier as time goes on.

Make a step by step plan, and think like a robot and follow it.

This book might help:

Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible, One Rejection at a Time: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection: Amazon.co.uk: Jia Jiang: 9780804141383: Books

Buy Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible, One Rejection at a Time: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang (ISBN: 9780804141383) from Amazon's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

www.amazon.co.uk

First of all thank you so much for helping me out. I will definitely read this book. Moreover, as you stated, the only way is continuously taking more action. I thought the same way. Just that after taking different action I thought that my fear will subside. As it did not I starting doubting whether I am doing things correctly. Now, that you confirmed that taking action is the only way I will double down on it. Maybe one day I will get over it.

 

[cakimusacan]

First of all thank you so much for helping me out. I will definitely read this book. Moreover, as you stated, the only way is continuously taking more action. I thought the same way. Just that after taking different action I thought that my fear will subside. As it did not I starting doubting whether I am doing things correctly. Now, that you confirmed that taking action is the only way I will double down on it. Maybe one day I will get over it.

Congratulations on taking action, brother. I wish you a great journey.

For me, the biggest enlightenment was realizing I have control over my life; nobody else does. No matter how much someone loves or cares about you, they are not the ones controlling your human experience.

Sometimes you get so stuck over the expectations other people have of you that it causes you to not take action or be scarce with it, not using your full potential as a result, even if those people are the ones you value the most.

As for the negative feedback from others, I filter it to see if it actually has value and take it to heart. I am very open to criticism. I also think that most people do not even have a clear understanding of their own existence, let alone yours. My message would be, Just don't take them as God; nobody is; they are just mortals here trying to figure out life as you are.

Also, while going through life, I know I have to make the next best move no matter the situation, just like in chess.

I hope this helps. I would like to hear more about your journey if you are willing to share it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Adarsha]

Congratulations on taking action, brother. I wish you a great journey.

For me, the biggest enlightenment was realizing I have control over my life; nobody else does. No matter how much someone loves or cares about you, they are not the ones controlling your human experience.

Sometimes you get so stuck over the expectations other people have of you that it causes you to not take action or be scarce with it, not using your full potential as a result, even if those people are the ones you value the most.

As for the negative feedback from others, I filter it to see if it actually has value and take it to heart. I am very open to criticism. I also think that most people do not even have a clear understanding of their own existence, let alone yours. My message would be, Just don't take them as God; nobody is; they are just mortals here trying to figure out life as you are.

Also, while going through life, I know I have to make the next best move no matter the situation, just like in chess.

I hope this helps. I would like to hear more about your journey if you are willing to share it.

Thank you for the encouraging words brother. Truth be told, it still feels weird why I put so much importance on others opinion when I do realise I should have more confidence in me. I guess still taking more action will help me out.

As for negative criticism, it is true that if their is some value I could use that. I guess I have to keep on hearing more negative criticism to remove my fear and navigate life.

Anyway thank you once again for your help. I would certainly share my journey. Though right now it is going to be quite boring.

 

[heavy_industry]

As an entrepreneur, you will have to take this fear and turn it on its head.

It's impossible to make progress if this is how you are feeling every time you are about to take action.

Here are some strategies to transform this. Not overcome, transform.

• Become aware of the fact that the biggest failure is not trying, and letting life pass you by.
  • That's what you should be more afraid of.
  • The clock is ticking.

• Understand that entrepreneurship is all about iterative improvement.
  • Version 1.0 is always going to suck - that is the expected outcome
  • Improvise, adapt, overcome. Version 1.1 is going to be better.

• Learn to care about the opinion of people that are actually relevant to the problem you're trying to solve.
  • Fastlane forum members and other experienced entrepreneurs.
  • Your paying customers.

• Stop viewing life using the success/failure false dichotomy.
  • You truly fail when you die.
  • Everything else is just a learning opportunity.

• Stop reacting negatively to perceived failure.
  • Do what you know you have to do, and let the market tell you what the problem is.
  • Take notes, adjust, improve, rinse and repeat.

If the fear is still overwhelming, and you are staring at what appears to be an obstacle that is impossible to overcome, you take the damn thing and split it into micro goals.

The micro goals become part of the daily process.

You shut up and you execute the process.

In 3 months time (or less), the obstacle will be obliterated, and you will look back laughing at how ridiculous your initial fear response really was. All perceived adversity is in our own imagination.

Good luck.

 

[Adarsha]

As an entrepreneur, you will have to take this fear and turn it on its head.

It's impossible to make progress if this is how you are feeling every time you are about to take action.

Here are some strategies to transform this. Not overcome, transform.

• Become aware of the fact that the biggest failure is not trying, and letting life pass you by.
  • That's what you should be more afraid of.
  • The clock is ticking.

• Understand that entrepreneurship is all about iterative improvement.
  • Version 1.0 is always going to suck - that is the expected outcome
  • Improvise, adapt, overcome. Version 1.1 is going to be better.

• Learn to care about the opinion of people that are actually relevant to the problem you're trying to solve.
  • Fastlane forum members and other experienced entrepreneurs.
  • Your paying customers.

• Stop viewing life using the success/failure false dichotomy.
  • You truly fail when you die.
  • Everything else is just a learning opportunity.

• Stop reacting negatively to perceived failure.
  • Do what you know you have to do, and let the market tell you what the problem is.
  • Take notes, adjust, improve, rinse and repeat.

If the fear is still overwhelming, and you are staring at what appears to be an obstacle that is impossible to overcome, you take the damn thing and split it into micro goals.

The micro goals become part of the daily process.

You shut up and you execute the process.

In 3 months time (or less), the obstacle will be obliterated, and you will look back laughing at how ridiculous your initial fear response really was. All perceived adversity is in our own imagination.

Good luck.

Thank you so much sir for the strategies stated by you. I am aware of a few but I will implement them more rigorously now. I really like the idea of splitting obstacles into micro goals and I will try it if things really do not change.
Anyways, once again, thank you so much for taking the time and providing a solid actionable path

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kevin88660]

I recently reread Unscripted . Out of all the valuable informations provided one of them -desert of dissertation-has occupied my mind. This is because I have been facing this problem for sometime.

To state more clearly, whenever I try out something new I feel like I should quit. I just cannot be confident on myself. I feel like I will end up in a disaster. My mind just continuously pictures the worst case scenario making working things out harder and harder.

On the bright side, I however do not quit and complete whatever I have started.

But the irrational amount of fear has never stopped. I had thought if I have tried going outside my comfort zone quite often such fear will end. That is sadly not the case.

Some reasons which I feel are still making me scared are:
1. Fearing negative criticism
2. Anxiety over delivering correctly (rather perfectly)
3. Positive feedback does not bring in much confidence in me.

Even right now writing this very post I am just getting tempted to delete it and just forget about it. I am imagining scenario where you will be mocking my situation. Rationally, that is not going to happen. These irrational fear is just striking me again and again. Therefore, I cannot leave this problem just the way it is.

So if you have faced a similar situation what have you done?

How did you stopped fearing negative criticism and started accepting them for your improvement?

How did you build up your self confidence?

Thank you for helping me out.

The only legitimate concern or fear is how much money you will lose if things do not go well. That’s why we should seek opportunities with asymmetric return.

Negative criticism does not result in financial loss. In fact constructive criticism are free advice that help you.

I try to adhere to strict “EV” thinking. EV stands for expected value. It helps you to get out of the social conditioning and see things in logically in numbers.

If the bad outcome incurs no financial loss then the fear is irrational.

But it takes years of conditioning to be able to think this way.

But it is not very socially and politically acceptable to operate that way even you do no evil. People don’t like you if they feel you operate like robots.

 

[Adarsha]

The only legitimate concern or fear is how much money you will lose if things do not go well. That’s why we should seek opportunities with asymmetric return.

Negative criticism does not result in financial loss. In fact constructive criticism are free advice that help you.

I try to adhere to strict “EV” thinking. EV stands for expected value. It helps you to get out of the social conditioning and see things in logically in numbers.

If the bad outcome incurs no financial loss then the fear is irrational.

But it takes years of conditioning to be able to think this way.

But it is not very socially and politically acceptable to operate that way even you do no evil. People don’t like you if they feel you operate like robots.

Well first of all thank you for your advice.

I have a few questions though. How where you able to condition yourself to think only in the EV method? Did you ever fail? How did you rectify your mistakes?

I have read about asymmetric returns and EV method in the book but has never been able to execute it. So some further insight could be really helpful. Thank you.

Oh! And how do deal with people if the EV is not that politically and socially acceptable?

 

[Kevin88660]

Well first of all thank you for your advice.

I have a few questions though. How where you able to condition yourself to think only in the EV method? Did you ever fail? How did you rectify your mistakes?

I have read about asymmetric returns and EV method in the book but has never been able to execute it. So some further insight could be really helpful. Thank you.

Oh! And how do deal with people if the EV is not that politically and socially acceptable?

EV based thinking comes more natural for me than average person as my background was in Economics/Finance and I had prior full time working experience as proprietary trader.

It does overlap with a lot of positive mindset and attitude in general, that there is no harm trying and no embarrassment getting rejected. People make too much big deals out of nothing.

Mistakes are unavoidable because we don’t really know what we don’t know. I seldom make “mistake” in the sense that doing something knowingly it is bad. But if going back in time I could do things differently than I have made countless mistakes.

EV based thinking just helps you to make better internal dialogues and debates within your brain…It does not provide you with answer and often it is more of an art than a science.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Adarsha]

EV based thinking comes more natural for me than average person as my background was in Economics/Finance and I had prior full time working experience as proprietary trader.

It does overlap with a lot of positive mindset and attitude in general, that there is no harm trying and no embarrassment getting rejected. People make too much big deals out of nothing.

Mistakes are unavoidable because we don’t really know what we don’t know. I seldom make “mistake” in the sense that doing something knowingly it is bad. But if going back in time I could do things differently than I have made countless mistakes.

EV based thinking just helps you to make better internal dialogues and debates within your brain…It does not provide you with answer and often it is more of an art than a science.

Well I will try it out. Not sure how exactly I can do it right now. But I will definitely try it out. Thank you