How did you get back up after the worst a$$-kicking you took?

[RHL]

Title says it all. Just hit a pretty big snag in my money tree horticulturing, and as I'm finding a way around it, I'm looking for what inspired other fastlaners to get back up when they got knocked down.

 

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[smarty]

Think of what your future self, 2 years from now wish you would have done today. And f###ing do it.
Have a goooood genuine laugh about it, and get back on track, free of negative thinking-cloud

 

[exige]

Been knocked down more times than I can count. Been saddled with business loans from a failed business. Tax issues from another business. Options that vaporized from a start-up. Companies going out of business under my feet, multiple times. Wife and I have been knocked down together a few times.

But snags can be unsnagged, they are only snags. What makes you get up and keep going? Drive. You have to find the motivation inside of you. You have to want it enough. Just like the other threads on here about going "all in", etc. When you take a blow it can be tough, but you gotta put it out of your mind ASAP and focus on going forward and not fall into a mental block of self-defeat.

Nowadays what keeps me going is probably a little different. When my wife and I found out about our kid having this disease, it was a pretty big blow. Now I HAVE to make something work, because if I die who's going to take care of him, who's going to fund the rest of his life. If I don't die, how do we keep our life going without my wife going insane - the answer is we can't while absorbing hours of commute time every day, unless I hire help - which requires funding beyond what I can absorb even with a lucrative slow lane career. And employers, no matter how high up the chain you are, don't want to hear about your life challenges. So that's what makes me continue to get up and get through every little snag - I HAVE to construct something that frees up my time/unchains me from dependency on someone else's dream, in order to free me up to take some of the burden off of my wife so we can BOTH live a long time and take care of our kid.

You may not have something that extreme to drive you, but you gotta reach down and figure out your PURPOSE. Also realize that any challenge or adversity you hit probably pales in comparison to the life challenges a lot of other folks in the community have to deal with. There are people in my church who have had to deal with unbelievably awful stuff. I count my blessings that at least we still have our kid, he's breathing and kicking and we can hug him and kiss him every day. No matter how hard you think it is or how big you think your challenge is, there is always someone else facing down something far worse.

What else keeps my wife and I getting up after taking the blows? Prayer and meditation. And they are two distinctly separate activities, at least for me. I guess I'm kinda preaching to the pastor on that one ;-) But it has made a huge difference. It helps you to FOCUS.

You're obviously highly intelligent, just from your writing here apart from the degrees etc. I would have a hard time believing there was a snag you couldn't bust through or figure a way around. Just do it.

The first thing I thought when I read your thread about the Viper was "imagine how many young people he will be able to reach in this area through that car". You have a tremendous opportunity in front of you to make a difference and amplify your message while hitting the fast lane. Every snag is a learning opportunity. Find your purpose that drives you. Figure out where the destination is. And then keep your focus on the goal. Overcome the adversity and prevail.

 

[Guest3722A]

I'm not sure of how much of a snag you're talking, but with an experience I can share with something I've been through, I was flying high at one point with a business that did very well but then I was knocked down rather quickly to the point of not even having $10 in my pocket due to a series of unforeseen issues and of course, bad decisions.

To give some background, it was books like "Think and Grow Rich" and "Rich Dad Poor Dad" that gave me the knowledge and guts to create and build that particular business idea but when I was faced with more advanced issues and choices that those books didn't prepare me for, I failed.

Finding this website and being able to learn from the great minds that are here is something that I wish I would've had access to when I needed help with those more advanced decisions. If I would've had the knowledge base this website has given me back when I needed it, my path would've had a different shape. I guess my point is the fact that you're here and wanting to learn I believe has the power to uncover choices and paths.

This site has helped me immensely along with supportive friends, family and spirituality.

On a side note, I am "back in business", and happy. It took time though. Healing Takes Time

 

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[smarty]

do something that you consider a little bit out of your normal personality or self-image. challenging your self-image is hard for the ego but when you do, it gets you out of a fearful state almost immediately.

 

[Jonleehacker]

First off, hitting a snag and getting knocked down are part of the process towards any significant goal.

When making a big change in direction (from out conditioned past) we are re-wiring our brains and that doesn't come without experiencing significant resistances from the status quo; forces both internal and external.

The purpose of getting smashed and passing through a experience of hopelessness or despair is to allow us to find new resources within.

Feel the pain as deeply as possible (avoid the temptation to just use your willpower to "keep pressing forward" - that's recipe for missing the lesson), then get busy refocusing on what you want. This will usually involve a new clarity in your vision.

One last tip, from my own experience: get help from a sane person.

Looking back in my life, I could have sped up the accomplishment of every major goal, or recovery from every major pothole, or bad decision, by seeking help from a wise neutral party. Whether it was a therapist, or mentor, or coach (not a friend, they are biased towards you and have a motivation to not be 100% honest with you - they want to keep your friendship).

What a sane person will help you see, is that you are 100% responsible for creating the a$$-kicking. Until you realize that, you will not learn the lesson. Responsibility is power. Once you get that you create all the circumstances that you face in your life, you will not be in control and you will be a victim.

Good luck... you can do this!

Jon

 

[socaldude]

I have experienced a lot of pain. I have found that it helps a lot to simply ACCEPT the reality of your emotions. Accept that life involves pain. Do this exercise: Sit down and breath deeply and FEEL your emotion, anger for example, and FULLY experience it. You will find that the emotion has LESS power over you. If you are not accepting the reality of your emotions you will find that your body will always be very tense, as if it is stuck and you can't relax and you will keep ruminating about negative past failures and experiences.

I know a lot of people who have experienced tremendous pain and failure and YET are very happy. And their secret is to simply ACCEPT it and move on with life.

One of the biggest mistakes people do when they experience failure and pain is that they DENY it and FIGHT it. They think things SHOULD NOT be this way when they actually are. The result? They constantly RUMINATE and fall into depression and anxiety and lack of positive motivation.

 

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[biophase]

Title says it all. Just hit a pretty big snag in my money tree horticulturing, and as I'm finding a way around it, I'm looking for what inspired other fastlaners to get back up when they got knocked down.

Basically look at it as if it's nothing. This is not any type of real pain. This is the type of stuff that sitting down and thinking about it, or probably throwing money at it can solve. Worst case if that your whole money tree disappears. So what? Just make another. I only worry about issues dealing with health.

 

[100k]

What happened? From your previous threads it sounded like you were in control of everything.

Care to share what the pitfall was so others might spot it and not fall in it?

As far as picking your self up... sometimes you should just let your self heal.... mop around for a few days, close yourself off in a dark room & just listen to music / watch some good tv to get out your negative state of mind, reevaluate things and work out where you went wrong and figure out how you should've handled it and when you have the answer get up and write it down then move on coz you have just learned from your failure and there is no point in you thinking about it and letting it keep you down any more.

Just know that we are all humans, everyone makes mistakes - EVERYONE. So its normal. And lastly try to think of it in the whole grand of things... think about your future and if this failure is worth you giving up on your dream and everything you have been working towards for these past X months / years.

 

[RHL]

Yeah, ok, I'll share my pitfall, since TMF has made me a big pile of money. Basically, an opportunity literally fell into my lap, unsought, where some guy offered to sell me some units of a product I knew I could offload completely in for for $7,000 in about 30 days, for $1,400, because he didn't know what to do with it. I saw dollar signs, and I've never pulled out my checkbook so fast.

The problem is, I then came to a point where my fastlane plan could have been accelerated dramatically with the injection of a big shot of extra capital. I've got so many pots on the stove at this point, that I'm getting nervous, and feeling that even that $1400 might have helped. I've seen from watching my dad what can happen when you're left holding the bag with all your assets out, and I can't let that happen. I read Vigilante's thread about the foreclosure. That will never be me, it will never even be possible that that could be me. For that reason, even though my credit is in the mid 800's, I can't allow myself to take out a loan. I can't hit up my Dad and Mom for money even though they're pretty loaded as next-door millionares in their 60's, because I recently excoriated a sidewalking relation of mine for doing just that several times (although to cover debt, not for investment), I don't want to create a rift by engaging in what looks like hypocrisy.

I'm kicking myself because if I had injected the cash into the fastlane plan, I'd have made that $10,000 back and more over time as we ramped up, but I took the little carrot in front of me instead of the big carrot off on the horizon. I never thought I'd cry over such a huge return rate, let along on a decent amount (it's one thing to get a 5x return on $50, another to get it on $1,000).

Takeaway (and again, to be clear, I'm proffering this as someone who doesn't know anything but my own circumstances, not as a fastlane expert): Even the best investments are still investments, not the fastlane. You may quadruple your money, you may make a months salary sitting around doing very little, but you'll never reliably multiply your money by a thousand or five thousand or ten thousand.

Thank God it was a cheap mistake. The only fastlaner I know personally (as in, post liquidation) told me at thanksgiving five years ago that you don't know anything about business until you've lost a year's salary in one day. I'm happy to still be ignorant, I guess.

 

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[LightHouse]

I dont get what the snag is? You got the product you paid $1400 for and now you can't move it? $1400 loss is a major snag?

 

[RHL]

The snag is that I don't personally feel safe putting out any more of my finances into this right now until I start seeing better returns from my fastlane plan, and I lost an opportunity because of it. I don't have enough confidence in my fastlane right now even though it's going well, knowing that there are many failures on the road, having seen my Dad's business fail and knowing what can happen if you're over-invested, to forsake a good hustle to get there, and I missed what might have been a big opportunity because of it.

I'm trying to get encouragement because I'm Mr. Frugal, from a family that has always done very well in the slow lane, this is new and difficult for me to be writing checks for $3,000 this day and $10,000 the next day and $2,000 the day after, and trusting in my research and process to recover that money, it was working really well, I missed that one, and I was just trying to get advice to save for the next rainy day because this is really the first time on the journey that I've "blown it," and with more foresight, I could have avoided that. I'm sure there will be more.

 

[Mrs. BRKb]

For twenty cents* a person can post to INSIDERS, and discuss any Opportunity vs Opportunity Cost. Just presenting it could straighten out logic, and one also gets 2nd opinions too.



(*That's the approximate daily cost of INSIDERS membership based on the annual rate.)

 

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[Bigguns50]

I only worry about issues dealing with health.

I second that. Right now, I'm having a really, really hard time with finances....but, I don't owe anyone and my Wife is working...so I shop at Aldi's (depressing, cheap food store). So what. It's money. I'm finding more.

Health is a whole different issue. I have Psoriasis. If you don't know what it is..I'll just say it SUCKS and I don't wish anyone to have it.

Here's one of the hardest challenges I've had: 4 yrs ago my Wife and I were in Foreclosure. At the same time, I, through contacts, bought a Foreclosed house for pennies on the dollar (financed by the investor) in a very nice neighborhood. I spent nearly all my free time renovating the interior. Drywall, painting, trim, flooring, kitchen, etc.

I tore my right bicep at the gym. I cried like a baby for a minute...not from the physical pain, but because I had to finish this house before we had to move out of our Foreclosed home.

I had torn my left bicep 4 yrs earlier and it took 8 months to heal. I didn't have 8 months this time. I dropped boards, drywall, hammer, spilled paint...it was excruciating and frustrating. I completed the house on time...all...left...handed..with a lot of ibuprofen, and hot baths.

For me...I learned that when things get tough...I get mad. When I get mad I get creative, determined, and I just won't quit.

 

[RHL]

Epic. Sorry about your skin disease, my good friend Amanda has that, it really is awful.

 

[maui]

I know a lot of people who have experienced tremendous pain and failure and YET are very happy. And their secret is to simply ACCEPT it and move on with life.

One of the biggest mistakes people do when they experience failure and pain is that they DENY it and FIGHT it. They think things SHOULD NOT be this way when they actually are. The result? They constantly RUMINATE and fall into depression and anxiety and lack of positive motivation.

Love this!

 

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[LightHouse]

The snag is that I don't personally feel safe putting out any more of my finances into this right now until I start seeing better returns from my fastlane plan, and I lost an opportunity because of it. I don't have enough confidence in my fastlane right now even though it's going well, knowing that there are many failures on the road, having seen my Dad's business fail and knowing what can happen if you're over-invested, to forsake a good hustle to get there, and I missed what might have been a big opportunity because of it.

I'm trying to get encouragement because I'm Mr. Frugal, from a family that has always done very well in the slow lane, this is new and difficult for me to be writing checks for $3,000 this day and $10,000 the next day and $2,000 the day after, and trusting in my research and process to recover that money, it was working really well, I missed that one, and I was just trying to get advice to save for the next rainy day because this is really the first time on the journey that I've "blown it," and with more foresight, I could have avoided that. I'm sure there will be more.

You are a prime candidate for a mindset shift, and at the perfect time in your journey too. Take a few minutes to read this in full, the writer is a member here.

http://foreverjobless.com/ev-millionaires-math/

 

[RogueInnovation]

I can only say what I think of.
Skills are worth more than money, they don't fade, and you won't lose them.
Money, is as simple as a transaction or an opportunity or desire to make the opportunity.
Infrastructure can F*ck up, people can hate you, and you can still get by, so long as your mind is sharp.
If you lose it all, there is a chance you can make it all back again.

Those who lose billions can make it back, because this gig isn't about one offs, its about those who float to the top.

 

[Bigguns50]

Enaeka...thanks...but so many have it so much worse than I. I'm not comfortable wearing shorts as the worst is below my knees and it just kinda comes and goes all over. It's a weird genetic flaw for sure.

But you know what ? I just say F it. I deal with it..get the best meds I can..and pretty much keep my legs covered because it makes others uncomfortable..which is understanding. I know I'd be like...what's wrong with the big bald guys skin ? Go tell him to cover up..no way..you tell him...no way...he'll kick my a$$. LOL

I'm kicking myself because if I had injected the cash into the fastlane plan, I'd have made that $10,000 back and more over time as we ramped up

So now you know. What if you didn't learn that lesson and it was $1,000,000 you passed up because you spent $50,000...or whatever. I think the kick to yourself would be much harder. I hope you don't dwell...wasted energy.

I love my mistakes because I know I'm learning and growing, and that I won't repeat the same mistake. AND, possibly help someone avoid making a mistake. ( That's a great feeling )

 

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