How can I stop those negative thoughts

[Madman1996]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 14297" data-quote="Bigguns50" data-source="post: 867936" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=867936" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-867936">Bigguns50 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> This is Frustration. Frustration is an exciting feeling. Your brain believes you can be doing better than you are currently doing. The solution is within reach but what you&#039;re currently doing isn&#039;t working. Do something different. The fact that you are reaching out here is good....you are doing something different.<br /> <br /> Everyone gets negative thoughts. It&#039;s what you do after you think that &#039;negative&#039; thought that matters. I&#039;ve trained myself to do this. ie. I thought, &quot;there&#039;s nowhere for me to do pullups.&quot; I immediately say out loud &quot;That&#039;s bullshit !&quot;. That puts me into the problem solving mode. And yes, I found a place to do pullups.<br /> <br /> Do NOT focus on the &#039;negative&#039; thoughts. The neg ones will most likely always come....that&#039;s ok.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Many times, looking at one big project is so overwhelming many give up or never start. Break it down to smaller parts. One step at a time. For really big projects, I break them down into little parts for 2 reasons. 1) I feel good when I complete a part 2) Over time, it gets done. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Thank you, brother, I think that yeah we can&#039;t fully control our thoughts but we can control our actions breaking this in smaller parts that is the best way to not get overwhelmed</div>

 

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[Dmorr]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 51611" data-quote="Madman1996" data-source="post: 868264" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=868264" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-868264">Madman1996 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I heard very positive comments on this book but I don&#039;t know it kinda sounds like woo woo </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>You won’t really know unless you see for yourself</div>

 

[epham]

<div class="bbWrapper">The negative thoughts will never go away. It&#039;s inherent to being human. So, welcome to humanity. Rather than trying to get rid of thoughts, a more effective practice would be to gaining awareness of them and setting them aside.<br /> <br /> Look around at your desk. Let&#039;s say there&#039;s a coffee cup there. While the coffee cup is there, can you still do your work? Can you still make a phone call to your mom or dad? Think of your negative thoughts like that coffee cup. Look at it and continue to act.<br /> <br /> The lesson I learned only recently is that the more we try to get rid of something, the more power, weight, and significance we give them. Resistance creates persistence.<br /> <br /> There are a few things I recommend. On a daily basis, meditate. It&#039;s indispensable to me. A book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach may be helpful. Attend a 10 day silent vipassana meditation retreat if you can afford the time. They&#039;re free and donations are encouraged. I use Sam Harris&#039;s app Waking Up on a daily basis. When you really grasp what he&#039;s talking about, it&#039;s reality altering. <br /> <br /> My explanation is simple, though it can be far from easy. This is something I&#039;ve struggled with for nearly my entire life. Give yourself compassion and patience. You can&#039;t be an olympic athlete overnight. I&#039;ve experimented for years and spent tens of thousands of dollars to develop mastery on this.<br /> <br /> There are other powerful, yet somewhat controversial modalities I use and recommend. I like my extreme solutions. They make life more interesting. I prefer not to share them here. If you are curious, you can message me.<br /> <br /> Cheers,<br /> Evan</div>

 

[Thinh]

<div class="bbWrapper">Don&#039;t try.<br /> <br /> Trying to fight your own thoughts is like trying to fight against the tide. The more you resist an idea, the stronger it gets, the wearier you&#039;ll get. Notice I&#039;m not saying <i>give in</i> to your thoughts. Just don&#039;t try hard to repress them. Not gonna happen.<br /> <br /> You&#039;ll fare better if you consciously choose to focus on something else, more positive. Don&#039;t try to convince yourself, but start looking for things that spark more positive thoughts. Things that make you excited, that make you light up.</div>

 

[Fr33zerPop]

<div class="bbWrapper">There are a lot of good answers here. For me, I really liked the reminder I read recently that negative thoughts are my brain targeting negative outcomes. Wait! I don&#039;t want that! But when I focus on--and visualize positive outcomes, I&#039;m mentally &quot;looking&quot; for opportunities in the world that will create those outcomes. If I fail to re-direct negative thoughts, I&#039;m doing two terrible things: 1) I set my sights on that outcome, thereby watch for it, thereby am more likely to find it. and 2) I don&#039;t take any time to identity and look for the positive outcome I wanted. In fact, I discovered I often couldn&#039;t even put words to what the positive outcome would look like! Now, how likely am I to take advantage of opportunities that lead me to success if I don&#039;t even know what success looks like? Not very! <br /> <br /> Hope it helps.<br /> <br /> Reading that helped me on my journey to changing the real asset in my life: Me<br /> - Mind Hacking by Sir John Hargrave<br /> - Darrendaily.com and the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy<br /> - The Bible<br /> - High Performance Habits by Brent Buchard</div>

 

[Anon79341]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 51611" data-quote="Madman1996" data-source="post: 867673" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=867673" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-867673">Madman1996 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hello there 23 years old almost 24 having those negative thoughts are popping up, again and again, it is saying like well give up or this is not something for you or you&#039;re just not good enough this will never work how can I get rid of those thoughts<br /> I am not depressed I just feel like the negative thoughts are holding me back I<br /> did read about James clear the well-known identity change should I change my identity as someone who doesn&#039;t have negative thoughts anyone reading this have a nice day thank you very much<br /> <br /> by the way, English is not my first language I cant upgrade my Grammarly account with Paypal strange </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Hello, I&#039;ve been struggling with the same for about a year. Here is a piece of advice:<br /> <br /> First, from a personal perspective I feel like most self-help techniques won&#039;t work when you feel like you are not going anywhere. So an easy way I&#039;ve founded to develop my motivation is:<br /> <br /> 1)Think about a something you really want in life (whether is a car you&#039;ve dreamed of, a house in the woods, the ability to live without having to work)<br /> 2)Figure out how bad you want it and why you &quot;got to have it&quot;<br /> 3) Think for a moment what mindset and skills you should have to be able to achieve such goals. Then analyze if you somewhat near to that. If you aren&#039;t...<br /> 4) Put your hands to work on it!, you are the only person who can transform your belief system and direct your life exactly to the place you want. <br /> <br /> Hope this can help you. Cheers</div>

 

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[luniac]

<div class="bbWrapper">Improve your health.<br /> <br /> Poor health creates negative thoughts.</div>

 

[ruzara5]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 51611" data-quote="Madman1996" data-source="post: 867673" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=867673" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-867673">Madman1996 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hello there 23 years old almost 24 having those negative thoughts are popping up, again and again, it is saying like well give up or this is not something for you or you&#039;re just not good enough this will never work how can I get rid of those thoughts<br /> I am not depressed I just feel like the negative thoughts are holding me back I<br /> did read about James clear the well-known identity change should I change my identity as someone who doesn&#039;t have negative thoughts anyone reading this have a nice day thank you very much<br /> <br /> by the way, English is not my first language I cant upgrade my Grammarly account with Paypal strange </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I am no counselor. Here is my three and half cents. One thing I have seen help people that I have known with similar thoughts. Subconscience feedback. Listen to podcasts and read and reread and listen to Unscripted. You have what it takes just expand into a little more of what you are and can be. There is a infinite and a margin of quality right here and out there. Cheers to the start of a awesome adventure with you! And a little of us!</div>

 

[jwhanke]

<div class="bbWrapper">I meditate &amp; read the daily stoic every morning. I recommend starting small and trying to do just small 5 minute exercises daily on headspace:<br /> <div class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--unfurl is-pending is-recrawl js-unfurl fauxBlockLink" data-unfurl="true" data-result-id="68658" data-url="https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app" data-host="www.headspace.com" data-pending="true"> <div class="contentRow"> <div class="contentRow-figure contentRow-figure--fixedSmall js-unfurl-figure"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.ctfassets.net%2Fv3n26e09qg2r%2F11CfrjeTLEc8iYUoC0eM2U%2F92d6c74060317d5ab12cc6df7db56dc8%2Flogo.svg&amp;hash=d87e2a14c7c104e9b61242cd8cc37c46&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="www.headspace.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-image" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header js-unfurl-title"> <a href="https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app" class="link link--external fauxBlockLink-blockLink" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-proxy-href=""> Get the Headspace App </a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-snippet js-unfurl-desc">This personal guide to meditation and mindfulness fits right in your pocket!</div> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <span class="js-unfurl-favicon"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.headspace.com%2Fheadspace-meditation-app%2F&amp;hash=01f2d78e1851aa9aa22bee41f6b66746&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="www.headspace.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-icon" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </span> www.headspace.com </div> </div> </div> </div> <br /> In order to build the habit, don&#039;t set the goal to large (IE 20 minutes of meditation). When I started doing it daily even 1 minute counted. Basically exactly what James clear says.<br /> <br /> Daily Stoic if your interested: <br /> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735211736/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735211736/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20</a><br /> <br /> Also some books if you are interested. I would still start small. Try to build the habit of meditation. It will help you notice negative thoughts and accept they are just thoughts! Basically CBT.<br /> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385249373/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385249373/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20</a><br /> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078927ZYL/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078927ZYL/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20</a></div>

 

[Nick perry01]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 51611" data-quote="Madman1996" data-source="post: 867673" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=867673" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-867673">Madman1996 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hello there 23 years old almost 24 having those negative thoughts are popping up, again and again, it is saying like well give up or this is not something for you or you&#039;re just not good enough this will never work how can I get rid of those thoughts<br /> I am not depressed I just feel like the negative thoughts are holding me back I<br /> did read about James clear the well-known identity change should I change my identity as someone who doesn&#039;t have negative thoughts anyone reading this have a nice day thank you very much<br /> <br /> by the way, English is not my first language I cant upgrade my Grammarly account with Paypal strange </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>You cant giet rid of those thoughts. You just have to decrease those thoughts every day till you&#039;re like &quot;sure, I could give up, but wats the fun in that&quot;</div>