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Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Castillo

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I'm living in Vancouver right now in a midst of a breakup that could've been avoided. Considering sticking with her..

Besides the fact,

I have $1000 in my bank.

I'm waiting on selling my car for 1500-1800

Bills for the month if I go to the bare damn minimum will cost me 1300.

That means I have two months that I could last on 0 cash.

I have 2500 of Credit that I am able to utilize, so technically total I have $5000.

EDIT: Also an extra $800 from my last cheque from my job.

Is this a stupid decision to quit my job and stay here a business adventure?

I don't even know what I want to do.. I have skills that I can utilize for quick cash such as vehicle repairs, computer repairs, that kind of stuff.

Is this a stupid decision? Or could this be my opportunity to make it on the fastlane?
 
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MidwestLandlord

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Earning money is in 4 layers:
1. Survival
2. Status
3. Freedom
4. Purpose

From this post: GOLD - Why only certain people "enjoy" the process? (Or is it something else?)

@Van Halen 's post here got me thinking earlier about how each person on this forum is at a different place on his/her list.

Me for example, I'm in the #2 spot...working my way into #3

@mcastillo , I don't even know for sure what your question is here...

Are you asking if you should stay with the girl because there is a fastlane possibility you are pursuing and breaking up with her would make that difficult to pursue?

If so, got some news for ya bro, a bad romantic relationship will destroy any fastlane success you find anyway.

I think the real question is...are you pursuing a #2 spot on this list while your #1 spot goes to shit?
 

Castillo

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From this post: GOLD - Why only certain people "enjoy" the process? (Or is it something else?)

@Van Halen 's post here got me thinking earlier about how each person on this forum is at a different place on his/her list.

Me for example, I'm in the #2 spot...working my way into #3

@mcastillo , I don't even know for sure what your question is here...

Are you asking if you should stay with the girl because there is a fastlane possibility you are pursuing and breaking up with her would make that difficult to pursue?

If so, got some news for ya bro, a bad romantic relationship will destroy any fastlane success you find anyway.

I think the real question is...are you pursuing a #2 spot on this list while your #1 spot goes to shit?

Not at all. I'm not pursuing a #2 spot. I am pursuing a #1 spot. Trying to start from the bottom just to get by, unless I interpreted that wrong.

I want to be with her. She wants to be with me. I was close to moving home and already quit my job, and sold most of my stuff. We want to make it work. I want to start in ecom/amazon where it wouldn't matter where I worked and be able to still create cashflow.

I am not staying with her because of the fastlane possibility, I'm wanting to stay with her because we both want it to work out. If anything, breaking up with her would make the fastlane a bit easier to pursue as my bills would go down and I could live like a lump of coal for months back at home.

She doesn't want to live on spam and rice for months, but I'm willing to sacrifice that if it means doing what I want every day...
 

Envision

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I dont get what the break up has to do with it.

It sounds like you have two months to figure out an income stream before you have to go into debt. If you can live for free at home I'd go home.

I'd would find a job that pays me atleast $1200/mo and drop all my unnessary expenses.

You need food, shelter, basic hygiene, and potentially a vehicle.

From there I would continue looking and scheming for another job that doubled my income.

Once I got that job, I would start to save the extra money i was making for my business venture while working the job.
I'd save about 5k in about 3 months and start building my online business when I wasnt working

There's lots of girls out there...

Ps. This is literally what I did when I was dead broke at 19 living in a mobile home with my dad and it sucks but it was worth it.
 
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Castillo

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I dont get what the break up has to do with it.

It sounds like you have two months to figure out an income stream before you have to go into debt. If you can live for free at home I'd go home.

I'd would find a job that pays me atleast $1200/mo and drop all my unnessary expenses.

You need food, shelter, basic hygiene, and potentially a vehicle.

From there I would continue looking and scheming for another job that doubled my income.

Once I got that job, I would start to save the extra money i was making for my business venture while working the job.
I'd save about 5k in about 3 months and start building my online business when I wasnt working

There's lots of girls out there...

Ps. This is literally what I did when I was dead broke at 19 living in a mobile home with my dad and it sucks but it was worth it.

Thing is I already have an opportunity for a job back at home that pays 3200/mo after taxes... Maybe I should work it for a bit or go into construction and save as much as I can
 

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c_morris

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I'm living in Vancouver right now

Thing is I already have an opportunity for a job back at home

You live in Vancouver. Is home a different city or just back home with your parents? Vancouver is quite expensive. I personally would be looking to lower my cost of living while increasing my income.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Is this a stupid decision to quit my job

I'm confused.

You're running out of cash and you think quitting your job will be helpful?

A boat taking on water doesn't need more holes in it's hull.

I have skills that I can utilize for quick cash such as vehicle repairs, computer repairs, that kind of stuff.

Why is that an option now? Why haven't you been doing that anyway and building up a rainy-day "f*ck your job" fund?
 

Envision

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Thing is I already have an opportunity for a job back at home that pays 3200/mo after taxes... Maybe I should work it for a bit or go into construction and save as much as I can

I would definitely take the job.
 
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Argue

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You gotta stop watering dead plants. If your relationship isn't working, leave.

Step 1. Go get a job asap.

Step 2. Save all your checks and live a minimalist lifestyle.

Step 3. Take a portion of your savings and use it towards your business.

No hard feelings but I believe you're not ready for the Fastlane. You don't know what to do. You're going down a destructive path. Good luck tho.
 
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u.vallone

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Try to follow some conference by Dan Lok in Vancouver.
You can find some video also on youtube. It's 20 $ or so.
It could help.

Meanwhile...
you have to discover the concept of online arbitrage.

Could you do some educational video on udemy or skillshare?
Something like:
"how to repair something".
This is a cost free opportunity to gain online (you need only time)

Take the job too


Inviato dal mio LG-K500n utilizzando Tapatalk
 

MidwestLandlord

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I am not staying with her because of the fastlane possibility, I'm wanting to stay with her because we both want it to work out. If anything, breaking up with her would make the fastlane a bit easier to pursue as my bills would go down and I could live like a lump of coal for months back at home.

She doesn't want to live on spam and rice for months, but I'm willing to sacrifice that if it means doing what I want every day...
Thing is I already have an opportunity for a job back at home that pays 3200/mo after taxes... Maybe I should work it for a bit or go into construction and save as much as I can

So you can't take the job if you stay with her, now I understand.

I'll put it this way:

My wife is a very important part of my world...but she is not the center of my world.

The center of my world is reserved for one very important person...*ME*

I make my decisions accordingly.

I'm a self-centered bastard. And you know what? The lives of everyone I am close to is better for it.

Man up and make your own decisions. Take responsibility. Hold yourself accountable.

You don't need the permission or approval of internet strangers, your woman, or anyone else, to make this decision.
 
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G-Man

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She doesn't want to live on spam and rice for months, but I'm willing to sacrifice that if it means doing what I want every day...

I've only been married a couple years, so don't take this as jedi wisdom from a guy that's been married half a century and has a reassuring Morgan Freeman voice, but this needs to give you pause.

I'm sure she's a very nice girl. I don't know her, and I won't cast aspersions on her character. That said: there is no replacement for a partner that's willing to make sacrifices with you. None. Probably better to be single.

That said, as @MidwestLandlord alluded to, sometimes the best course of action with people in our lives is to just act like a leader. Make the best decision regardless of what makes them happy in the moment. People will often surprise you with how they react to that. Most people secretly want to follow someone they know will make hard choices with objectivity and commitment.

And then again some don't. I once was with a girl that, while I had an infectious disease in Africa, made me feel guilty for making her go to a family Christmas party alone. Some people are just an impossible pain in the a$$. Good luck :clench:
 

JAJT

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As someone who quit his job the second I thought I was making enough in my own businesses (I wasn't) - keep the job.

There are lots of stories of shoestring entrepreneurs out there. And it's true that building a business today is cheaper than it ever has been in history. But frankly and honestly - businesses (and your life) work better with a stable source of reliable income. Everyone here's goal is to transition that source from a job to a business, but that only comes after some success, not before it.

Look - if your job pays you $3,200 per month, and your expenses are $1,300, that's $1,900 you can spend on your business that magically gets topped up each and every month. It's like an unlimited well that you can draw from and not stress too hard about if you drop a bucket or two along your way.

Want to throw all $2k for the month at a ridiculous idea you just thought up at 3am? Go for it. Oh shit, it didn't work. F*ck. That sucks. Oh well. Let's go back to the well and try something else next month. You could throw $2k into the wind 12 times a year without having to spend a single night stressed over money.

And that stress factor is important. If you are the type of person who stresses over money (most people), not having a stable source of income is brutal. It takes a serious toll on your mental health to be stressed non-stop. You aren't at your best if your brain isn't functioning properly. Personally I don't know many folks whose brains work properly when they are financially drowning. You start saying dumb stuff like "This needs to work because it needs to work" instead of smart things like "we'll try this out and if it doesn't work we'll try something else out".

Without that stable source of income, it becomes VERY hard to test things or spend money on things that will help your business grow when every outcome is either "it works or I'm screwed".

Yes there are other things you can do other than a job - you can freelance, but you are still trading time for money and you are also giving up 1 boss at a job in exchange for a new boss every gig. There are many benefits to doing this stuff (education, increasing your skills, etc...) but that's a discussion for another day.
 
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jpanarra

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Read these, in this order:

No More Mr Nice Guy - Robert Glover

Mindful Attraction Plan - Athol Kay

The Way of the Superior Man - David Deida

Great advice, I've read two of them and they're great reads.

I admit myself there have been some fights that happen between me and my wife because of how self centered I can be sometimes. I recognize that I have an ego and i can be self centered and we've both made our peace with it.

Theres always room for improvement but if you're feeling tied down and stressed about the situation, fiscal challenges will only make the situation worse. So think what would make you improve yourself and the people around you will see you improve and things will snowball from there.
 

G-Man

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And that stress factor is important. If you are the type of person who stresses over money (most people), not having a stable source of income is brutal. It takes a serious toll on your mental health to be stressed non-stop. You aren't at your best if your brain isn't functioning properly. Personally I don't know many folks whose brains work properly when they are financially drowning. You start saying dumb stuff like "This needs to work because it needs to work" instead of smart things like "we'll try this out and if it doesn't work we'll try something else out".

You start taking risks on dumb investments with people you know aren't worthy of partnering with, and then having to explain your stupidity to your spouse 18 months later when you're trying to recover tens of thousands of dollars because you were chasing a little extra return to generate cashflow instead of finding long-term solutions. .... Not me of course.... just some guy I know that lives in my house whose life I have oddly specific information about....:rofl:
 

JAJT

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Not me of course.... just some guy I know that lives in my house whose life I have oddly specific information about....

I bet this forum is secretly filled with TONS of these embarrassing stories from our "nameless ones" :p

Seriously though - the stuff we know and the stuff we know we don't know isn't the problem. You can do the shit you know. You can ask about the shit you know you don't know. But the stuff we don't know that we don't know can bury you - it's often expensive and it's hidden and it only seems to want to show itself after it's too late.
 
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jon.a

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She doesn't want to live on spam and rice for months...
Mrs. jon and I have done that more than once. We have a case of spam, just in case. Once a year or so we have spam, just for laughs.
 

G-Man

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I bet this forum is secretly filled with TONS of these embarrassing stories from our "nameless ones" :p

Really wish that was my only one. My favorite form of self-deception is telling myself that people will somehow be more competent/honest/rational when dealing with me than they demonstrably have been in the past when dealing with others.
 

MidwestLandlord

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Great advice, I've read two of them and they're great reads.

I admit myself there have been some fights that happen between me and my wife because of how self centered I can be sometimes. I recognize that I have an ego and i can be self centered and we've both made our peace with it.

Theres always room for improvement but if you're feeling tied down and stressed about the situation, fiscal challenges will only make the situation worse. So think what would make you improve yourself and the people around you will see you improve and things will snowball from there.

I bet it's the Athol Kay one you haven't read, he's not well known. I know him personally actually, great guy.

Anyway,

There's a line between being a dick (ego) and being selfish in a healthy way, and I'm guilty more than once of crossing that line haha.

But really, women are attracted to men that can make decisions and not seem wishy washy. So even if they complain about it, it still usually works out to be selfish.
 
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jpanarra

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There's a line between being a dick (ego) and being selfish in a healthy way, and I'm guilty more than once of crossing that line haha.

But really, women are attracted to men that can make decisions and not seem wishy washy. So even if they complain about it, it still usually works out to be selfish.

Yep, so true I know I have an ego problem and will pop up occasionally.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm lucky to have a lady that supports my ambitions and keeps me grounded when I need to be which is huge IMO.
 

OldFaithful

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My vote is for moving back home and taking the $3200/month after taxes JOB. (What's that...$50k to $60k per year, gross?) Intentionally save buckets of $$$, figure out what you want in a relationship and start out later with a more secure foundation. IMO, you are too close to the edge of oblivion.

BTW...It is frustrating if you want to sacrifice today for freedom tomorrow, but your significant other wont.
 
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