Ground Zero - Just Another Balkan Guy

[The LordExecutor]

Welcome! And thank you for taking time to read.

Purpose of this Thread?
​

1) Record my journey, a good way to supplement my paper journal.

2) Share my story, so that you can avoid mistakes I made.

3) Entertain: As a future writer, I need and want to entertain my audience. None likes to read boring text.

4) Expose myself to critique - Fortunately I am prone to overlooking things, multiple angles help.

Self Imposed Rules
​

1) Write once a week ( Saturday, GMT +2 ) - Point isn't spending unreal amount of time on forums, it can get addictive.

2) No BS! - Sometimes it is tempting to let a few things go unnoticed, you know, for sake of making yourself look better. *A mandatory rule I live by.

3) Stop making too many rules, bureaucracy is heavy as it is. KISS principle FTW.

Lonely Spark - Flashpoint Alpha
​

- Wind was howling, chilling me to the bone. I had to hurry, classes start in an hour, and I still need to take a shower. As I rush through Horsens, I notice a regularity. Everyone is just waking up, it seems the only guy in the street is me, the only one who is awake this early in the morning. Another blast to the face by the lovely wind stops my thinking, just hurry up.

As I reach my dorm apartment I notice that my roommate is still sleeping, oh well, at least I can occupy the shower without a rush. At this point, even the cold water was warm enough. I steadily increase it to hot, and then it hit me.

"Just two more shifts, and weekend will come!"

I couldn't take it, not two, not one, I couldn't take to think about it at all. At this point, one could say that water was coming down my face, after all, I was taking a shower. But I knew better, I felt the salt, it wasn't just water that was coming down my face. I broke down.

It didn't matter how much I tried to justify my work, I couldn't find a reason to continue.
""You need to work, otherwise you wont have money to stay and study here!"
"Dude, your wage is awesome, I wish I earned that much!"
"You earn 125e per shift? Pff, lucky."

I just couldn't, I had to do something, but I didn't know what. I look down at my hands, and I couldn't believe. After only week and a half, I could see open wounds on my hands, disgusting red tissue starred me right in the eyes.

Then it happened, I asked myself. I asked something, that I still ask people.

"How much, is one hour of your life worth?"

If someone would offer to buy a part of your life force, how would you price it? Depending on your current needs or wants? Would you price it accordingly with the riches of the buyer? How do you put a price tag on an hour of your life?

You see, I couldn't answer this. If my wage was too low, I would simply quit without thinking. If it was too high, like really really high ( read billions and billions), I would work for a short while and leave. Start something on my own or who knows what, at that point I would have cash.

But what if the wage is in the middle? You are getting paid well, but its not creating really a surplus of cash. What then? Do you quit, or not?

*(knock)(knock)*

I spent far too much time thinking, I need to leave the shower. I must not forget that my roommate also needs to take care of hygiene.

And so I left, went to my University, all the way battling sleep. When was the last time I slept more than 2-3 hours? A week ago? Something like that, maybe week and a half?

I start running, must keep myself awake.

But no matter my running and thinking, I was confronted with the truth when I met with my peers.

"Is something wrong with you? You look like a zombie!"

Truth is, I was pale as snow, except the bags underneath my eyes.

"No." - That is all I could mutter, not enough energy to explain.

Flashpoint Alpha was here, something had to change. For all systems strive to achieve stability, and I was a volatile chemical. I had to change something...

Regards,
The Lord Executor

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[The LordExecutor]

Intro - Time Before Denmark​

You see, prior to moving to Denmark to study I lived in Serbia. My family wasn't well off, but we had enough to satisfy our needs and wants. I was just a regular kid, going to school and back, mostly spending my time glued to the computer. Now when I think about it, I really didn't have any vision for the future. Hell, I didn't even know what will I study! Tried to pick between Mechatronics and Programming, but I realized that those things are "just interesting", and nothing more.

One could say I was super content, my grandmother and mother cooked very well, I had great friends and I went to a very good school. I didn't feel the need to search for the future, since I thought I had all I need.

In that dreamlike state I finished my High school, and decided that I'll study abroad because of more opportunities. However, University of Edinburgh, Lund and few others across Great Britain and Scandinavia didn't think so. I got rejected everywhere, and I missed the September enrollment date. Fortunately my mother subscribed to some school newsletter and read about the opportunity to study in Denmark. And in mere two months I got accepted, the process was quite easy and straightforward.

So what has all this to do with my current journey? - The answer is, everything...


Although there are a lot of things that attributed to my current state ( like my parents divorce, and my fathers mental abuse ), going to Denmark really was a turning point. Or more like a bang to the head that screamed: "Wake up!"

It is there that I realized how far my ambitions can reach, and what I want to achieve. And it is there I realized how hard (or easy) it can be to earn your living. And that was a moment I told myself that I am going to change, that I will dump a huge list of bad habits, and turn to success.

And I lived happily ever after... Pff, of course not.


What was soon uncovered was a simple fact. Change is hard, not necessarily slow, but damn hard it is. All those bad habits that entrenched themselves over the years, they didn't want to give up. And why would they? Everything functioned well... At least, until my ambition skyrocketed somewhere out of this Solar system.


And there I was. Back in Budapest, after 5 months of living in Denmark. I knew that I want to do something big, to change many things. But, where does one start?
Turns out Denmark was just an intro, game on Easy. Now, it was time for a real story to begin...

Regards,
The Lord Executor

 

[The LordExecutor]

Hello? Budapest calling!
​

Denmark chapter was done. University-wise it is a lost semester, but it opened my eyes to the world, and that is what matters.

The first thing I started on my new journey was to start reading books. Primarily non-fiction. I read a lot as a kid, but it was always fantasy or Sci-Fi (which I think is a very good thing), but now time was to do something else. And the first book I randomly picked of some list was Rich Dad Poor Dad. And to be honest, there are many better books out there, but for the start, this (in my opinion more motivational book) was exactly what I needed. And I also have to say, it lessened the boredom of traveling by train for 7 hours...

After reading this I was pumped, and decided to start writing. I though to myself: "I always enjoyed creating imaginary worlds, it would be cool if I make millions doing this!" And so I invested almost two months of dedication towards creating my first novella. How many people read it? Have no idea, but I know that it got about 3-4 free downloads. This was a huge blow to me. While I know the work I produced isn't my Magnum opus, disappointment was real.

But I quickly overcome that feeling and continued writing, adjusting it to be sellable. What I found out was that the process became tiresome and boring. My writing also changed ( for worse I'd say ), because money plagued the mind. Even though my family supported me, I felt that the book writing chapter of my life is not now. And then, I dropped writing for the time being (except poems, those I still write). Was it easier than figuring it out? - Definitely. However, I couldn't shake off the feeling that this isn't it. And that led me to make the final verdict.

But the question was, what now? I didn't have any ideas, or if I did I had no clues on how to make them a reality. So I turned to book reading, and a course here and there (mostly free stuff that I could find). Idea was that I needed to expand my horizon, and to figure out how did others succeed. During that time I read TMF . That book really resonated with me, and told me that it is possible to achieve. But at that point I wasn't doubting the possibility, I just didn't know what to do with it. So I started testing different things, like creating applications.

"People like to play video games on the phone, I can do that!" - Turns out its not that easy.
"Social media is a way to go!" - To do what, and go where?
..
...
....

And so, one after the other, ideas fell into the abyss. But I didn't give up, it was just a matter of time and sharpness of mind. As well as the effort put into it of course. But while I was doing all this, another September enrollment date for Universities passed. This time, I was the one who was ill prepared and ill informed. But times were changing, and all these roadblocks and failurse made me more and more interested. My blood started to boil, and there was no going back.

So I said to myself. Prepare for the next enrollment date and figure out what to do.
And so, the fun started...

Regards,
The Lord Executor