Hey guys. Im having an issue lately at work that's bothering me. Backstory.
I started as a freelance web developer 3 years ago, along with many failed start ups. I made WordPress sites for clients and never really got into coding full time, so that was my area that was lacking. I got a job as developer 3 months ago. I'm learning on the job. But its stressful, I put so much pressure on my self to do well. The company is great and honestly everything this company does I have done when I did freelance so it fits my "area" very well. My growth was just never as big.
The issue is I feel im not learning development as quick as I can it seems and now I went from coding from scratch to throwing stuff together to help speed up work so my skills will be lacking, I learned ALOT in the past 3 months, I went from knowing no HTM/CSS to mastering HTML/CSS in 3 months but it seems its not good enough for the boss(Hes ex-Navy). Makes me feel pretty stupid everyday. Plus the fact everyone else there is way ahead of me since they have been coding for years.
The job gives me what I need, security, the ability to move out and most importantly learning on the job. My goal is to move to California in a year and a half once I become full stack so I will have a job / security for the rest of life just incase if my start ups dont take off. But right now this job is killing me it feels, I wake up nervous and with heart palpitations. Which isnt good. The days of having 13 girls over in a week is "over" for the time being and damn it kind of sucks but nice at the same time.
Im a little confused on my direction here,.Mind you I was doing one website a month just 3-4 months ago, now I have to produce over 2 websites a day to keep everything running smoothly. So far I went from one a week to about one a day in 3 months. Like said, the job is extremely stressful to the point I get nervous and wake up with heart palpation's sometimes.
Short Term Goals:
I have two options it seems(Based off of my goals):
Its an emotions vs logic type of situation and its pretty damn tough.
/End rant, sorry guys.
I started as a freelance web developer 3 years ago, along with many failed start ups. I made WordPress sites for clients and never really got into coding full time, so that was my area that was lacking. I got a job as developer 3 months ago. I'm learning on the job. But its stressful, I put so much pressure on my self to do well. The company is great and honestly everything this company does I have done when I did freelance so it fits my "area" very well. My growth was just never as big.
The issue is I feel im not learning development as quick as I can it seems and now I went from coding from scratch to throwing stuff together to help speed up work so my skills will be lacking, I learned ALOT in the past 3 months, I went from knowing no HTM/CSS to mastering HTML/CSS in 3 months but it seems its not good enough for the boss(Hes ex-Navy). Makes me feel pretty stupid everyday. Plus the fact everyone else there is way ahead of me since they have been coding for years.
The job gives me what I need, security, the ability to move out and most importantly learning on the job. My goal is to move to California in a year and a half once I become full stack so I will have a job / security for the rest of life just incase if my start ups dont take off. But right now this job is killing me it feels, I wake up nervous and with heart palpitations. Which isnt good. The days of having 13 girls over in a week is "over" for the time being and damn it kind of sucks but nice at the same time.
Im a little confused on my direction here,.Mind you I was doing one website a month just 3-4 months ago, now I have to produce over 2 websites a day to keep everything running smoothly. So far I went from one a week to about one a day in 3 months. Like said, the job is extremely stressful to the point I get nervous and wake up with heart palpation's sometimes.
Short Term Goals:
- Have a successful Software as a service making passive income online. Which gives me consisnt money and OPTIONS to not be tied down and do what I want.
- Move to California
I have two options it seems(Based off of my goals):
- Stick with this job, learn as much as I can, possibly get a promotion, learn development have a career for life.
- Go to a security job or a relaxing job where I am not stressed out all day long and learn development on the side
Its an emotions vs logic type of situation and its pretty damn tough.
/End rant, sorry guys.
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