Getting Out of Depression and the Slump of Slumps

[DougRMR]

What's up, guys. I'm gonna straight up rip off @heavy_industry with this thread, so I'll probably get sued soon. Basically, I'm going to be doing a progress thread on getting out of a very big slump I've been in for a the past few months. What I'm going to do is find what has worked for me in the past and condense it into actions I can take every day.

Long story short, I went through a very heavy mental burnout, health crisis and existential crisis this year back in March. All at once. It was as if I had suppressed so much negative energy it just blew up in my face. There were a lot of signs before this (panic attacks, fatigue, tachycardia, trouble breathing, disassociation, trouble concentrating, etc) all of which I chose to ignore because I got cocky. Needless to say, the stress, anxiety and depression I felt were astronomical.

I feel much better and the progress I've made has been amazing. However, depression, intrusive thoughts and anxiety still creep its head every now and then plus I've been somewhat apathetic about a lot of things for about 2 months. I'm going to change that.

I've had some very good days of good/normal moods, energy and relaxedness. I've managed to find a pattern of when I have these good days (I found the pattern thanks to CBT [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy]):

-A good bedtime routine: Meditation/Prayer, Journaling, Wim Hof Breathing Method, reading, CBT.
-A good morning routine: Same as above + a little exercise and cold shower.
-Momentum. It's what I call taking initiative about whatever I have to do right in front of me (whether it's cold calling, socializing, manual labor, dealing with a client, etc.)
-Good Stress Management. This means I didn't let something stressful affect me more than it needed to or not at all.

Okay. So this is a good start. I'm not expecting every day to be amazing just by doing this but it was remarkable to me that some of my 2 best days of 2022 had these things in them. Next, I'm gonna be outlining what it was that I did back in my existential crisis that helped me cope or beat very intense depression and anxiety that I didn't necessarily outline or organize in this post.

 

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[DougRMR]

Part 2: Combining What Worked in the Past with What I Know Now

Back in my dark headspace, these are things I did I haven't necessarily outlined in the previous post:

-Goal-Setting, no matter how small.
-Little to no cellphone time
-Socializing w/ close friends, gf, family
-Engagement. In other words, being present in the moment and engaging with my task/job at hand. This worked tremendously, more than I ever thought it would, tbh. But it worked because it really gave my brain laser-focus on what I wanted to do plus I felt efficient and productive as f*ck. This could also be framed as enjoying every step of the process.
-Clean Diet. At least, as clean as I could afford.
-Light Bioenergetics
-WORK HARD(it kinda falls under engagement, but whatever)
-Clean my room and organize living space/work desk. This was more effective than I thought it would be, too.
-Sleep (this is something I still have trouble with and am trying to work on)

Okay, so that's a long list. What I wanna do is whittle it down to its essence and combine it with habits I already have. So I'm gonna be focusing on 6 things for this progress thread and mostly focus on the bedtime routine side of things. Some things, like goal-setting, morning routine or cleaning my room, are habits I already have, so I'm not going to put it as a daily task but I might at the end of the week say I completed xyz goal.

So here's what my new list of habits/tasks might look like for this next month:

Sleep Time: 'x' hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: Yes/No
Cold Shower: Yes/No
Cellphone Time: 'x' amount of time (Goal is about 1hr, including talking with friends)
Engagement/Presence: Excellent/Great/Average/Poor/Awful
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes/No

Observations: I'll write down any thoughts, epiphanies or whatever here.

Overall Rating: x/10

I'm pretty forgetful and am working on a few projects at once but I'll really make this a priority. Since I'm doing CBT scheduling, I'm always writing down what I'm doing each day so if I miss a day or two, I'll catch up the thread with what I've written down during CBT.

So next post I'll start with today as Day 1.

 

[socaldude]

Thank you, man! It's definitely a gradual process and getting out of the "slump" is pretty difficult, not gonna lie.

It's hard because our brain is like a piece of clay that is shaped by our experiences, thoughts, environment, relationships etc. I think thats where the "chemical imbalances" come from. You have to fight back. The path of least resistance in modern society is horrible mental health.

We have benefited a lot from our modern day economies and technologies but there are a lot of unfortunate consequences and very bad environments from this. The key is to identify them and fight back.

Your mental health will not be good if you eat fast food all day, watch porn, don't exercise, think negative thoughts all day, scroll social media all day etc. Thats our modern day society, it damages you.

 

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[DavidePaco00]

What's up, guys. I'm gonna straight up rip off @heavy_industry with this thread, so I'll probably get sued soon. Basically, I'm going to be doing a progress thread on getting out of a very big slump I've been in for a the past few months. What I'm going to do is find what has worked for me in the past and condense it into actions I can take every day.

Long story short, I went through a very heavy mental burnout, health crisis and existential crisis this year back in March. All at once. It was as if I had suppressed so much negative energy it just blew up in my face. There were a lot of signs before this (panic attacks, fatigue, tachycardia, trouble breathing, disassociation, trouble concentrating, etc) all of which I chose to ignore because I got cocky. Needless to say, the stress, anxiety and depression I felt were astronomical.

I feel much better and the progress I've made has been amazing. However, depression, intrusive thoughts and anxiety still creep its head every now and then plus I've been somewhat apathetic about a lot of things for about 2 months. I'm going to change that.

I've had some very good days of good/normal moods, energy and relaxedness. I've managed to find a pattern of when I have these good days (I found the pattern thanks to CBT [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy]):

-A good bedtime routine: Meditation/Prayer, Journaling, Wim Hof Breathing Method, reading, CBT.
-A good morning routine: Same as above + a little exercise and cold shower.
-Momentum. It's what I call taking initiative about whatever I have to do right in front of me (whether it's cold calling, socializing, manual labor, dealing with a client, etc.)
-Good Stress Management. This means I didn't let something stressful affect me more than it needed to or not at all.

Okay. So this is a good start. I'm not expecting every day to be amazing just by doing this but it was remarkable to me that some of my 2 best days of 2022 had these things in them. Next, I'm gonna be outlining what it was that I did back in my existential crisis that helped me cope or beat very intense depression and anxiety that I didn't necessarily outline or organize in this post.

Hello Doug,

A very symilar thing happened to me this year and led me here, in the entrepreneurial journeyhwere I found my peace and purpose.

I think that letting go of the past and focusing on the present is the key to happiness in life.

Think About it: what can You really control except for how are You feeling right now?

This is why meditation and breathwork ( Rickson Gracie syle) have really been what led me out of my dark time.

The truth is that you tend to see reality the same way as how you are feeling. It's all mental game.

Cheers

Davide

 

[MattR82]

Man, I feel you. I'm not doing as much as you are, and can't see my friends as they live almost 2 hours away now and I'm building a biz (probs why I've been posting so much shit on the forum lately, haven'tseen my mates for 4 months) but have had a huge amount of success lately in just really forcing myself to slow down, take it one day at a time and focus on stress management. Made me realise so much of my stress was purely my own stupid choice. Slow is fast has never been more true in my life.

Wim Hof has been a gamechanger. Maybe even a lifesaver. I catch myself sometimes with very short/shallow breathing or almost like I'm holding my breath in stressful situations. I can identify it immediately now though and practice 3 rounds at least once a day. "Just breathe motherfcker!" as Wim would say.

The only music I listen to now is something like a Baroque playlist on spotify or some calm music like what you would have on in the background at a yoga class.

I now give myself 50% more time to complete work tasks. Why I was rushing to be as fast as humanly possible before, I don't know. So I could be home earlier by an hour or two, but stressed and burnt out like crazy? Good plan dummy, lol.

Just those 3 things made all the difference for me. Now to start bringing more exercise back again.

Good luck!

 

[DougRMR]

Day 1/30
Sleep Time: 5 1/2 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Cellphone Time: 2hrs 56m
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Not a bad day overall, tbh, despite the low sleep hour and lack of bedtime routine. Felt kinda chill but not too engaged. Cellphone time is really bad compared to my goals but I didn't account for the fact that I listen to self-development content while commuting plus I make phone calls. Dunno if I should then separate that time from time using social media or just make the category into Social Media: Yes/No. I think I'll do that from now on.

Overall Rating: 7/10

 

[heavy_industry]

I'm gonna straight up rip off @heavy_industry with this thread, so I'll probably get sued soon.

Awesome man!
I hope that you will get out of it very soon and start having a great time once again. The habits that we build for ourselves will determine the outcome of our lives. And health or lack thereof is nothing more than the result of a gradual process. Having bad symptoms are just warning signs that it's time to do things differently.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to share anything! Congratulations for what you're doing!

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 2/30
Sleep Time: 6 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: Yes
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Pretty stable day in terms of mood, which is a win, imo. I feel I'm having trouble concentrating and feel kinda spaced out even though I was a lot more aware of when I was spacing out. It could be my ADD combined with my short attention span from social media usage. Felt some anxiety while I was doing therapy but came out with an action plan that I'm excited about.

Overall Rating: 7/10

 

[DougRMR]

Awesome man!
I hope that you will get out of it very soon and start having a great time once again. The habits that we build for ourselves will determine the outcome of our lives. And health or lack thereof is nothing more than the result of a gradual process. Having bad symptoms are just warning signs that it's time to do things differently.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to share anything! Congratulations for what you're doing!

Thank you, man! It's definitely a gradual process and getting out of the "slump" is pretty difficult, not gonna lie. But anything's possible

 

[heavy_industry]

Accountability bump.

Come on man, let's get the momentum going!

 

[DougRMR]

Accountability bump.

Come on man, let's get the momentum going!

Hey man. Had no internet for like 3 days so gotta catch up now (service provider in my country sucks). Thank you!

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 3/30 (Friday)
Sleep Time: 5 1/2 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Poor
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Okay day throughout the morning and noon. Met up with a client, tried to do errands but wasn't able to. Met up with a friend at night and had an awesome time but blew my tire on the way home at night. Got into a pretty shitty mood since it was a new tire. Was a bit hard for me to go to bed.

Overall Rating: 5.5/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 4/30 (Saturday)
Sleep Time: 8 1/2 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Poor
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Not a good day. Didn't do any routine, focus was very bad, shitty mood and stressed out from the new tire I'd have to buy. Mood got a bit better into the afternoon after I started to talk and get more present. Hung out with my girlfriend when the night came and socialized a bit, mood went up considerably. Didn't eat clean, either. But overall, it turned into a nice night.

Overall Rating: 6/10

 

[FarktheShark]

I've always had inattentive symptoms but just prior to the burnout my attention span was probably the lowest it had ever been. Slowly got better but yes, ADD has always been a part of my life.


Yeah, I'm not doing either of these, except exercise in the morning. Sleep has been very hard for me to get and my diet had to be put on hold for economic reasons.


I think it's a little bit of everything. I'm keeping drugs as a last resort but I want to take care of the basics first before I even consider it.

Try Lions Mane. Some of what your discussing I can relate to BIGTIME. I made lifestyle changes, which have affected my life in an beautiful way. As a matter of fact I can say my situation was far far worse than yours. It seemed like I would never overcome this fear anxiety and worry. I can honestly say you can try Lions Mane along with working out once a day and see how you feel. Reach out to ask any questions. Thanks

Frank

 

[FarktheShark]

That sounds great. Do you have a preferred way of taking it? Which brand?

Here goes the link. I have Zero affiliation with this brand or company. I am just sharing this to help you. I take 1 every morning with coffee empty stomach. Give it a try! It really helps with ADD and concentration. Better than any of these medicines out there.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NRLJ7TM/?tag=tff-gs-20

Frank

 

[DougRMR]

Day 5/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Pretty sluggish lazy sunday. Slept in and just messed around. Felt a big bout of anxiety and stress at one point but much better. Not that good of a day.

Overall Rating: 4/10

 

[Itizn]

Helping other people out tends to help get you out of your own "funk"

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 6/30
Sleep Time: 5 1/2 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Great
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Still struggling to fall asleep but feeling pretty good after about an hour in the morning. Obviously, me not sleeping well has made it hard for me to wake up at 6:30 but since I've managed it a few days this month I'm positive I can do it. Presence was pretty good, though, and was forced to public speak for the first time in a long time. Got pretty nervous but we're all good.

Overall Rating: 6.5/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 7/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Breaking news. I think 8 hours of sleep really made a difference lol my mood was much better, my concentration, while average, was pretty consistent, and I felt this urge to socialize I hadn't in a long time. Though I did get a bit distracted with music and whatnot. However, overall a pretty solid day. Gonna wind down now and get ready for bedtime. Still not waking up at 6:30am, tho.

Overall Rating: 7.5/10

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 8/30
Sleep Time: 6 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Great
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Pretty awesome day. Began the day a bit unfocused and a bit socially awkward (which is something I wanna work on) but when I got home came in with sharp focus and worked. My mood was very good and very positive naturally without me having to "force" optimism, which was very nice. Still hard for me to wake up at 6:30am but will not give up on that.Used a bit of social media but I had completely forgot about that challenge until I sat down to write this post. However, it wasn't a lot of time.

Overall Rating: 8/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 8/30
Sleep Time: 6 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Great
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Pretty awesome day. Began the day a bit unfocused and a bit socially awkward (which is something I wanna work on) but when I got home came in with sharp focus and worked. My mood was very good and very positive naturally without me having to "force" optimism, which was very nice. Still hard for me to wake up at 6:30am but will not give up on that.Used a bit of social media but I had completely forgot about that challenge until I sat down to write this post. However, it wasn't a lot of time.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Keep in my mind, I still haven't incorporated exercise to my routines. I do some light exercise in the morning and the afternoon but not a full blown workout. Very curious to see how that affects me when I start to work out.

 

[RickRoller71]

You're sleeping for 5-6 hours in a few days here. The consequences here are more than the benefits so I don't suggest doing so & better get full 8 hours every single night.

Watch this talk for Matt Walker (he's a sleep scientist and the author of the book Why We Sleep) cuz the consequences might be fatal on the long term

View: https://youtu.be/5MuIMqhT8DM

 

[DougRMR]

Day 9/30
Sleep Time: 8 1/2 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Average day. Got up late, didn't do morning routine cuz I had an appointment. Finding it hard to balance getting my 8 hours of sleep with getting up early, since I've spent most of my life being a night owl. Still, I managed to get to bed early but got woken up by a dog at midnight right next to my window.

Overall Rating: 7/10

 

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[DougRMR]

Man, I feel you. I'm not doing as much as you are, and can't see my friends as they live almost 2 hours away now and I'm building a biz (probs why I've been posting so much shit on the forum lately, haven'tseen my mates for 4 months) but have had a huge amount of success lately in just really forcing myself to slow down, take it one day at a time and focus on stress management. Made me realise so much of my stress was purely my own stupid choice. Slow is fast has never been more true in my life.

Wim Hof has been a gamechanger. Maybe even a lifesaver. I catch myself sometimes with very short/shallow breathing or almost like I'm holding my breath in stressful situations. I can identify it immediately now though and practice 3 rounds at least once a day. "Just breathe motherfcker!" as Wim would say.

The only music I listen to now is something like a Baroque playlist on spotify or some calm music like what you would have on in the background at a yoga class.

I now give myself 50% more time to complete work tasks. Why I was rushing to be as fast as humanly possible before, I don't know. So I could be home earlier by an hour or two, but stressed and burnt out like crazy? Good plan dummy, lol.

Just those 3 things made all the difference for me. Now to start bringing more exercise back again.

Good luck!

Thank you man! I'm doing light exercise in the morning but I really have to bring in a full workout routine. Good luck to you, too. The classical music thing I can relate cuz I did that when I was trying to relax back in March lol

 

[DougRMR]

Day 10/30
Sleep Time: 6 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: Yes
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Pretty average across the board, learning a lot of new things at my new job and pushing my comfort zone more than I ever have.Which is awesome. Still not getting my 8 hours of sleep but I know I can get it right.

Overall Rating: 7/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 11/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Was very tired during friday night, decided to crash instead of doing morning routine. Pretty low energy day, don't know why. Maybe I got some blood sugar stuff or something but overall, not bad.

Overall Rating: 6/10

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 12/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: No
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Felt a bit unengaged that day but got better during the night when I went out with my girlfriend to a show. Decided not to wake up at 6:30am to get my 8 hours.

Overall Rating: 6.5/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 13/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Poor
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: No

Observations: Had to do some errands, pretty straight forward day but wasted a lot of time on social media and felt bad afterwards. Decided to block a few websites and to put a timer on certain apps.

Overall Rating: 5/10

 

[DougRMR]

Day 14/30
Sleep Time: 8 hrs
Wake Up 6:30am: No
Cold Shower: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Average
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Better day than monday. Worked on a project with that really made me excited and engaged. I'm starting to realize that really a lot of my slump and depression is coming from me letting myself go with distractions and not doing what fulfills me and gets me closer to my goals. Obvious, but for a chunk of this year I thought my depression was a bit outside of my control but it's good to have these reminders that you can stack up good moods in your favor.

Overall Rating: 7/10

 

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[DougRMR]

Day 15-19/30
Average Sleep Time: 7-8 hrs
Cold Showers: Yes
Social Media: Yes
Engagement/Presence: Average-Great
Bedtime Routine From Previous Day: Yes

Observations: Gonna give a summary of these last few days, taking a lot of the info from my CBT writings.
Overall, I've been sleeping more hours. I can definitely tell the difference and I've been feeling a lot more motivated. Did a lot of errands I had put off and have been able to focus a lot more thanks to the Pomodoro Method. However, I'm seeing a trend that my Sundays are very sluggish and I feel brain fogged. It's probably my weekend diet, if I had to guess. I've been cutting sugar out lately, though so we'll see how I feel next weekend.

Overall Rating: 6.5-8/10