Friends and Family are treating me differently..

[TheGreatAli]

Ever since I've read the millionaire Fastlane and unscripted and started implementing the concepts to my life. I realized that my closest family members and friends are getting alienated from me.

Calling me too extreme, saying these books I'm reading are ruining my life and that what I'm doing is wrong. Saying all these people you listen to are bad influences.. Then every time I try to defend my point of view or try to explain why I think this way, they just quickly change the subject or find some excuse to end the call.

Is it just me?

 

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[Artiom O]

Ever since I've read the millionaire Fastlane and unscripted and started implementing the concepts to my life. I realized that my closest family members and friends are getting alienated from me.

Calling me too extreme, saying these books I'm reading are ruining my life and that what I'm doing is wrong. Saying all these people you listen to are bad influences.. Then every time I try to defend my point of view or try to explain why I think this way, they just quickly change the subject or find some excuse to end the call.

Is it just me?

No, you're not alone. I was in a similar position.

So you either:
- Keep it a secret and do your side work and pretend like everything is fine. If there are no problems about your behavior a d everything goes fine, nobody will care.
- Or, you try to convince them that what you've been told is actually good for your future. I don't know how applying the concepts will drive evryone else to the extreme. There's nothing wrong with everything described in the book.

About your friends, probably have no choice. They will reject you. But about your parents, if everything is going ok then they will not care.

 

[circleme]

Not at all.

I have two business degrees and in the eyes of my whole family (except my brother who understands the concept) I'm a complete loser because I don't work for a Fortune 500 company. Sunday is family day for me and trust me, it's the same shit over and over again: Why you don't just get a job? Why did you even study 5 years? You will regret it in the future, as you don't contribute to your pension... bla bla bla.

It was really bad when I sold my car the year before, because I wanted to have more reserves to be able to concentrate fully on my business project. Here, people just shook their heads and if looks could talk, they would probably say: "Boy, now you're a total loser. You don't even have a car in your late 20s, no job, never go on vacation, ..."

I'm at a point now where I can kind of ignore it. But I would have to lie if I said that it doesn't affect me at all. After all, it is my family. But you also have to remain objective and understand that here generations clash, which were taught completely different thought patterns (more in the direction of Slowlane, Dave Ramsy shit).

It wasn't long ago that I found out through two channels that a part of my circle of friends also thinks thoroughly bad about my way of thinking and my lifestyle. But in the meantime I have taken these "hater" thoughts as part of my WHY. It is not written anywhere that you are only allowed to have one WHY. It drives me, too. Not insignificantly tbh.

I firmly believe that many people on this wonderful forum have had similar experiences. If you are convinced of something, you should stay true to it. For me there is only this one "truth", for the people in my environment just not.

-Peter

 

[piano]

Bro your name and your new pfp... I just can't

Yeah you're not alone. Family and "friends" don't like that stuff.
My family has been kinda more open-minded after I brought home 100€ by myself I guess, although my mom would definitely be against it if I told her that I'd likely quit school if my business started rolling really good.
And my "friends" are just jealous and anxious af teenagers who see that there is somebody above them and they themselves then feel inadequat.

I'd say keep it lowkey and hide your true intentions (don't tell that you've been building a business/whatever for example, unless it's somebody who's actually really supportive of you and you can trust).

 

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[TheGreatAli]

Bro your name and your new pfp... I just can't

You're called a piano, leave me alone Ill change my name on the 23rd once it lets me

 

[TheGreatAli]

I don't know how applying the concepts will drive evryone else to the extreme

Simple things like:
Reading consistently
Saying that I hate studying Engineering
Saying that I will quit my job the moment my business is profitable

My friends say that I take what I read in these books too seriously. Like when I actually apply the concepts, they think it's "too serious"
"you need to relax and enjoy your life"
"Go out and party"
"You will end up getting addicted to work"

I don't know, I guess I'll keep it quiet, but it's lonely not being able to express your true self to the people that are the closest and dearest to you...

 

[Deleted88861]

Ever since I've read the millionaire Fastlane and unscripted and started implementing the concepts to my life. I realized that my closest family members and friends are getting alienated from me.

Calling me too extreme, saying these books I'm reading are ruining my life and that what I'm doing is wrong. Saying all these people you listen to are bad influences.. Then every time I try to defend my point of view or try to explain why I think this way, they just quickly change the subject or find some excuse to end the call.

Is it just me?

Why are you even bothering to share what you're reading with them in the first place? As 50 Cent once said, keep your cards close to your chest and be patient, play the long game (I'm paraphrasing here but he said something very similar in a video I saw from him a few years ago, it always stuck with me)

Unless you aren't a fan of him then fair enough.

I'll give you one more...

My Grandpa, very successful businessman locally and also overseas he ran timeshare businesses too, kept his cards very close to his chest, only had maximum three people that he trusted with things, but really it was only two people.

Whenever he would bring in new product to some of his local retail stores I always remember the family telling him he should have let them know in advance (he kept quiet) or that it will never sell (again, he kept quiet) and because he moved quietly among people, he was also a very smart man and all of his product sold (but still, he smiled and just kept quiet) because he clearly knew that they wouldn't understand what he's up to and in order to avoid any fall-outs and to maintain respect for everyone in the family, he simply brushed their comments aside and kept moving.

My point is, I know it can be tempting to share with others your experience of certain things like this book or around business, but try and keep your cards close to your chest when it comes to exploring entrepreneurship.

 

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[BizyDad]

Why you don't just get a job?

I heard this for years. Then one day I took him to a fancy restaurant and grabbed the check from him. He got all upset, "I'm the father" and blah blah blah until I told him what I was making that year and that he should just let me pay from now on.

"You took care of me for years, let me take care of you now".

That's a good line to use on your parents when you start making real money.

The funny thing is, he started telling other people how proud he was of me.

OTHER PEOPLE, not me. Lol.

Parents, am I right?

He has since started saying it to me too. But that doesn't make as good a story does it?

 

[TheGreatAli]

Does it have to be such a lonely path?
I mean having your own parents view you this way is difficult

 

[JordanK]

I think the missing information is what are you currently doing in business right now that would justify confidence instead of worry?

I had the same issue with my mother a few years ago when I dropped out of college. A year after this when I was paying all my bills, living in a nice place and traveling it all melted away.

I'm not wildly successful by any means yet but once your parents know you are on a good path they are usually happy.

Speaking a lot about what you have learned is a form of projecting. I used to do it in the early days, almost as a way of convincing myself that it was the right thing to do as I wasn't as confident. Nowadays, I don't preach about building a business unless I get some very specific questions that indicate the person is ready to do it.

Building a business is one of toughest things iv done and it's such an emotional roller-coaster of ups and downs that sometimes I envy people who can switch off after their 9-5 shift is over. It's definitely not for 95%+ of people.

 

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[Deleted88861]

Does it have to be such a lonely path?
I mean having your own parents view you this way is difficult

It certainly can be, thats why forums like this are here to help. What also helps is seeking out other people that are similar to yourself, maybe at a networking event, or a facebook group.

Do you live in a big city and how old are you? Are you able to visit a bigger city whenever you want to attend any of these type of events etc etc? Can you give me some insight into this?

Cheers

 

[TheGreatAli]

It certainly can be, thats why forums like this are here to help. What also helps is seeking out other people that are similar to yourself, maybe at a networking event, or a facebook group.

Do you live in a big city and how old are you? Are you able to visit a bigger city whenever you want to attend any of these type of events etc etc? Can you give me some insight into this?

Cheers

I am 22 years and I live in Melbourne which is a big city and there are tons of networking events. I’m just not sure how one approaches these things and finds such people

 

[Deleted88861]

I am 22 years and I live in Melbourne which is a big city and there are tons of networking events. I’m just not sure how one approaches these things and finds such people

Cool, I'm 26 going on 27. You can reach out to me via direct message if you want, now you have another contact.

When it comes to networking events, you don't even have to know exactly what you want to be doing in business, just have some keen interests to share with others at the events. Obviously if its a networking event for the hospitality industry then maybe avoid it if thats not your thing, try and keep it somewhat tailored to your interests but as you say there are bound to be a lot in Melbourne, like, a lot. Lol. I recently moved to Manchester and its the same here, started signing up for a few lately myself. Try to find someone like a friend to go with you for fun, or go on your own, either way you'll end up chatting to someone new regardless.

What sort of business are you in etc? Send me a message and we can continue chatting if you like.

 

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[heavy_industry]

Just some advice:

Learn to shut up, do the work, and win.

You already have 1000 self-limiting beliefs in your own head, which you will have to prove wrong by taking action and getting results.

If you try to change the beliefs of your friends and family as well, you will fail at everything and they will be like "I told you".

Just build the life that you want, let the results talk for themselves, and then people will start listening to what you're saying. Lead by example.


PS: Please change your F*cking username, it hurts my eyes every time I read it.

 

[BellaPippin]

The funny thing is, he started telling other people how proud he was of me.

OTHER PEOPLE, not me. Lol.

My daddy issues in a couple sentences

 

[WillHurtDontCare]

Does it have to be such a lonely path?
I mean having your own parents view you this way is difficult

Yup - if you want to be exceptional, expect to be lonely, because most people don't want to be exceptional.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Does it have to be such a lonely path?
I mean having your own parents view you this way is difficult

Think it's lonely now?

Try trying to find someone to go to a Tuesday matinee at 1pm.
Or another husband/wife team to play pickleball at 11am on Monday.

I chose this life.

And I love every FN minute of it.

 

[JAJT]

I would consider the idea of "compartmentalizing" your life.

There's a time and place and audience for different topics - you should identify them and stick to it.

Your friends don't care about the psychology of increasing conversion rate, your parent's don't want to hear about your sex life, your gym buddies don't want to hear about a drunken party story and your work colleagues don't want to hear about how you think they're all cogs in a machine that you're trying to escape from.

When there's a cross-section of interest, that's great, but if there isn't - keep it to yourself or keep the talking points to high level line items.