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For those struggling with self-limiting beliefs.....

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NewManRising

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Hi,
We all know that self-limiting beliefs are going to be an obstacle to becoming successful. I fall into this category right now. And maybe you do too. First, a little background about me - at this moment I struggle with liking people. I tend to think some people are judgmental, selfish and envious. I am not a misanthrope though. I also have negative beliefs about myself. I think at times that I am fat, ugly, worthless, cannot be successful, no one likes me, etc. As a result, I worry a lot about what people think of me. I am not usually a person who is outgoing or approaches people. As you can see this type of thinking and behaving is going to prevent me from being successful and you as well.

As said in MJ's books and throughout this forum, you have to provide value to people. I've been thinking about this a lot. My thinking, however, moves back and forth from money-chasing to providing value. But, a few things have been helping me lean more toward providing value lately. And I feel like I am beginning to change a little bit.

Two things.

1. I am now beginning to understand that the identity of being a problem solver can be transformative to my negative identity. It makes me feel a sense of purpose and direction. And by identifying myself like this I change the relationship dynamic I have with people. I am beginning to worry less of what people think of me because identifying as a problem solver feels empowering.

2. The cancer corollary in MJ's books is powerful. If I understood it correctly it means that if you have something people value they do not care how you look, who you are, and what your background is. Simply put, you can be fat, ugly, stupid, and think you are a piece of shit. But if you have something people want, guess what? They don't care about any of that. Value you provide to a person/relationship outshines everything else. So, when I think about my insecurities, I remember that people only care about the value I provide. If you provide value you will be loved.

So, to sum it up.

COMMIT to being a lifelong problem solver. Not only will this be transformative to how you identity yourself (which takes focus off of you and shifts it to others) but it makes it easier to come up with products or services. See, once you commit, you now feel like it's who you are for life. You will not burn out putting in the work to put something out in the market. It's what you do. There is no rush, there is no dollar value you chase, because you are and will always be a problem solver. Trying to be a money chaser your sights are set on finding that one idea that will hit a homerun and make you millions. You will second guess everything you do if you think for a second about how much money it can potentially make. And, without the problem solver identity you will likely give up after awhile because you have no purpose or drive. Being a problem solver evokes feelings of love and compassion for others, money chasing does not.

And remember, no matter what you think of yourself the value you provide others is all that counts. This alone should make you feel less insecure. Provide amazing value and you will be loved by people. How amazing is that? As you can see, these two understandings have the power to help you change how you think about yourself and others.

Godspeed.
 
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MidwestLandlord

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First, a little background about me - at this moment I struggle with liking people.

Haha, yeah. I struggle with this A LOT.

Good post.

Have you seen this thread? --> Not Fulfilled? Depressed? Maybe You Need An Alignment

For me, when it comes to limiting beliefs and such, it's helped to know more about my own personality. Then when I run into a limiting belief I can identify why I feel that way because I know myself better.
 

rollerskates

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I struggle with liking people

I struggle with this quite often. Strangely enough, I just finished a series of personality tests and my personality is the mediator/helper who helps others, often to their own detriment. That's probably why I hate people, because I'm expected to help them and I do and it has literally eaten away my life.
 

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