Fiance is calling my business "his/our" business, threatening to sue me

[loop101]

You should probably ask a legal person about your situation. My advice would be to consider him your ex-fiancee.

 

[SteveO]

Many years ago, there was a couple in my apartment complex. He was physically abusing her in a rough manner. I stepped in to stop it. They both turned on me.... I learned something that day.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

No….he is difficult all the way around. but he’s a very good looking…surgeon. He’s been married twice before…left his first wife while she was pregnant with their third child (for the neighbor)….

With this kind of attitude, you deserve what you're getting.

Either both of you are using each other (and both deserve what you sow) or this has to be epic level trolling, not to mention a sheer display of stupidity.

The he left his pregnant wife but who cares, he's a hot surgeon! is tantamount to the most eye-rolling thing I've read on this forum in a decade.

From my perspective, you're asking us how to fix a broken, ego-driven, self-centered human when the real problem is there are TWO humans that need fixing.

There is no entrepreneurial advice I can give because the roots of the problem isn't entrepreneurial.

 

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[lowtek]

End the relationship, period. Both business and personal. Truly dysfunctional by the sound of it.

 

[msufan]

My advice would be to consider him your ex-fiancee.

THIS. This is not the behavior of the kind of spouse you want.

 

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[Spicymemer45]

 

[legaljanie]

Thanks so much for everyone who has posted today. Sorry I missed these and I appreciate each and every response.

I have thought long and hard as one of the earlier posters said....about the excuses I make for him. I make a million excuses. And it's true the fear of the unknown seems to be greater than the pain of staying.

There are so many good things that I could have ...if I just sprung out. WHY I can't seem to do it today -- or tomorrow -- seems to be a mystery to me.

I am a fighter. I am strong enough and I know I have the drive to be okay without him.

I made a plan last night. I'm going to use the next 7 days to get all of my papers in order and everything ready. I will leave him....but I know from past experience...I must disappear. I cant tell him or he will beg and plead or the drama will make me stay....when he cries....I break down.

I called a lawyer today to see if I could possibly get a protective order -- that way I can use it as evidence as well -- if I ever need it for a questioning investor etc.

I'm going to do it... but I am TERRIFIED. no question. I should feel good. But, I feel the sadness in my stomach and I haven't even left yet. It's the fear of being alone and the fear of not having anyone else... I know it's stupid.

I'm not getting any younger and I don't see this getting any better. He's been married 2 times before....so I doubt the third (given our history) is going to be the lucky charm.

Stop wondering, it's called abuse. In your case it is mental, but as others have said it could be physical, and may even turn into that.

10 Things Women Suffering From An Emotionally Abusive Relationship Want You To Know

 

[JAJT]

Yeah, this makes no sense.

What you've told us so far about him:

- Your fiance is unsupportive of your ideas
- He's jealous
- He saw you may be onto something
- He threatened you
- He's now blackmailing you for a piece of the pie by refusing to help you unless he's in it on paper

What you've told us about yourself:

- You like him because he's a doctor
- You like him because he's good looking

You know what I'm not hearing, at all?

- You're both madly in love
- You help each other with everything
- You're both on the same path together
- Love matters more than money, looks, or occupation

Look - from what YOU'VE told us (which is all we can go on), it sounds like the relationship is superficial and he's gone from blatantly putting you down to trying to weasel in on a good deal.

If everything you've said is the full story (which it likely isn't), then it's pretty obvious to everyone here that you should get out of the relationship and take your idea into your own hands.

What you absolutely should not do is believe that involving him officially is the right answer - he's very clearly only interested because he sees he might miss out on a huge piece of lucrative pie.

 

[E-Sharp]

No….he is difficult all the way around. but he’s a very good looking…surgeon.

Oh.

He’s been married twice before…left his first wife while she was pregnant with their third child (for the neighbor)….

If that alone isn't a giant red flag, I don't know what else would be

He is nearly bankrupt right now… because he has overspent. But I see his business rebuilding and I keep thinking I will be left (or I will leave him) right about the time his business takes off again…. and I will watch him with a hot new woman.

There may be more to this story, but it seems everyone else who has responded in this thread is rightfully more concerned about you personally than your business.
I hope you can find whatever support or help to cut your losses here. Life is too short for whatever you're putting yourself through with this guy.

 

[JAJT]

I just wonder why sometimes he's nice...sometimes he is HORRIBLE.

This is how many abusive or just "bad" relationships go.

Get drunk, beat her, wake up, make her breakfast, blow her a kiss, call her to apologize at lunch, come home, beat her...

(beating was just an example, could be put downs, being a jerk, ignoring, gaslighting, whatever...)

I'd agree that if you already go to therapy, you should bring this up there and really start focusing in on all the things you've brought up here. If it's couples therapy you should really try going solo to say all the things you can't say with him in the room.

It sounds like you just want someone to make up your mind for you. Even though you acknowledge that it's "on you", it doesn't sound like you really believe that - you want a coach or mentor or therapist or someone to look at your example and tell you what to do. And it kind of sounds like you're looking for one to not only tell you what to do, but agree with you at the same time.

Consider that the reason it's so easy for strangers to give hard advice to any situation is because we lack emotional investment in the situation. You have a million feelings pulling you in every direction, and strangers do not. You say he's a jerk - we say leave. It's an easy equation for a stranger to solve. All your pull-backs and excuses and justifications are just your emotions trying to prevent you from being hurt by the difficult situation you are faced with.

Usually when someone gives the right, but hard, answer - the go-to excuse is 'you don't understand'. You hate your job? Well then leave it and find another - "oh, but you don't understand". My boyfriend is an a**hole - well leave them and find another - "oh, but you don't understand". My mother is stealing from me and screwed up my credit - well move and cut ties with her - "oh, but you don't understand". My employer isn't paying me what I'm legally owed - well get a lawyer - "oh you don't understand". Every bad situation always has that "oh you don't understand" line from the victim and that's just pure emotion clouding you from making that decision that everyone else sees clear as day.

This is also why victims (or just people in bad places) can never seem to tell the story "right". They always go on and on and on but for some reason nobody else relates to it, they just keep seeing that easy choice and it must be because you aren't telling it right, they don't understand, there's more to it than you're saying and you just can't say it right.... it's all nonsense. You're emotionally invested and every fiber of your being pulls you away from the hard choices to protect you from the extremely unpleasant change you don't want to make.

Most victims would rather live with the discomfort they know vs the discomfort they don't. People who get beaten at least know what being beaten is like - but who knows what will happen if they try to leave! So they take the beatings they know over the unknown future that seems scarier. The good times cloud the bad. They find all the good that they'll leave behind and cling to it, no matter how dimly lit is it.

Don't leave anyone because strangers on the internet told you to - but you should really consider if any of what I said applies to you and think long and hard about it. If you want someone to be sensitive to your feelings - talk to your therapist about it, or find a new one to get "fresh eyes" on the situation. A life coach is not going to be sensitive, they are going to be cold and direct (like many of us are/were). Therapists try to work through your feelings, coaches make hard and fast calls easily to get your shit together. Ultimately though, as everyone has said - it's up to you, not them.

 

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[Xeon]

What a toxic partner. If you continue going deeper with him into the relationship (both romantic and business), it'll only get worse. Maybe there's a reason why he's twice divorced?

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

It never ceases to amaze me how optimistic we all become at the end of something.

Wish I could say I was immune. I dated a severe alcoholic for a couple of years. Constantly taking her back thinking "yeah but NOW she's different."

Even within the last couple of years she had come back into my life after many years absence and I thought "oh certainly now things are different. She'll never treat me like that agai--- oh..."

Sometimes our biggest challenge in life is that we don't face the music right here right now.

Most people have a pattern where if things aren't they way they want them to be now they live in the future. Because...

1. It hasn't happened yet

and because of that,

2. We can make up any sort of bullshit we want in our heads about how it will be.

"He'll settle down and realize he was wrong."
"She'll stop drinking and treat me better."
"He'll finally marry me like he said he would."
"She'll stop cheating and sleeping around."
"He will fall in love with me, not the 20-something assistant he just hired and knocked up."

So we create this neat little delusion that distracts us from what's really going on so we don't have to face the fear of the unknown, the fear of being alone, the fear of what MIGHT happen if we left...

Here's what I know:

There's always 3 sides of the story. His side, your side, and then there's the truth.

Ultimately... none of that even matters. What matters are your decisions now. The question is what is your standard for your life? What is the standard for your relationship? Who are you TRULY? Not this conditioned weak person you've become.

You don't get on Television without being a badass. You fought and worked hard for that. That was the person who didn't take shit from anybody. And I'm guessing that's the person this man fell in love with.

You are no longer this person... she's in there -- but until you bring out that badass bitch again -- nothing will be solved.

This "woe is me attitude" is your real problem. You're stronger than this but in THIS emotional state you don't have the guts to stand up for yourself let alone tell this guy to go F*ck himself.

Who were you BEFORE all of this? Who were you when you were at the top of your game? Who were you then?

 

[AFMKelvin]

1. You already know the answer to this question. Seriously everyone knows the dynamic of the relationship they are in. You can only choose to ignore it.

2. You're not going to leave him because he’s a very good looking…surgeon.. I'm sure you enjoy all the drama because you already know about his past but you're still together.

3. You don't really care about this business and your investor/developer saw right through you. You only came to this forum to bitch about your fiance because your bestie would not understand the context to your drama that so happens to involve a business twist.

4. Finally do everyone a favor and tell us what business it is so a real entrepeneur on this forum can start working on it and actually get it done.

 

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[biophase]

This is truly a no brainer. 100% of the people replying are saying leave this dude. But you probably won't. I understand it's emotional. In fact, it feels like you both feed off each other's abuse.

I've never seen an answer like yours... he's a good surgeon, he's good looking.

Imagine if it was flipped and a guy was on here asking if he should stay with his GF because she's a model and has big boobs.

If you can't clearly see that you should leave, we can't do much for you here. And lastly, it's 100% that your business will NOT work while you are together. Running a business is hard enough without someone in your own home trying to sabotage it. And that is what he's doing...

He doesn't want you to have any success because he's insecure in himself and cannot stand the idea having a GF/wife who is the least bit successful.

 

[rogue synthetic]

We only get half of the story here. True, it doesn't look good from what we've read so far. But I have to wonder, is any of this out of character? Is the guy generally a jerkass all around, or is this behavior news to you?

Either way, just based on what you've said the other folks are right -- this is heading for a brick wall at full throttle.

Is there anything else here you haven't mentioned about this situation?

 

[Kak]

I'd say you're both self centered, and that won't work in a marriage. Him more than you, but not by much. I've also only heard one side of the story.

When you enter marriage, you need to enter it with at least SOME confidence that the damn union will last. Saying "MY" business not "OURS" implies a horizon on the marriage before it even begins. Please don't get married or have children together.

As far as the business... You didn't mention a contract... I don't see your legal exposure.

 

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[Kak]

I dont agree here. You have to understand I was asking him to go into business with me...launch it with me...it would be "our business". He would co-sign for a line of credit and we would do this together.

His response was that I will fail. That he won't EVER be my bitch or sell anything FOR me. He isn't like that...and it will never work and I should stick to my day job.

That's when I got the investor/developer and that's when I chose to leave him out.

I should say the formation lawyers heard my concerns about him threatening to sue me for trying to help me or offer advice. So, they suggested making him a paid consultant to establish his role in the beginning of the company....

I hate to say it but I understand his frustrations a bit. You're asking him to be part of the business and still calling it yours. "Me, mine, my it's all about me." And he's the only one at fault when he wants to be officially part of it after you say crap like that.

He's a jackass... but so are you. Grow the hell up and work things out with your fiance instead of slandering him to a forum... Or kick him to the curb and find someone that not only respects you, but someone you respect. It's a two way road.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I'm just sad.

We're sad too. Sad that we're being trolled, or sad that there are relationships like this where people actually think it is normal and acceptable.

 

[Kak]

On another note... Dr. Surgeon McHandsome is a total sidewalker. Broke AF but going on ski trips and vacations left and right. I find that humorous. I bet he has a cool car too.

 

[rogue synthetic]

No….he is difficult all the way around. but he’s a very good looking…surgeon. He’s been married twice before…left his first wife while she was pregnant with their third child (for the neighbor)….



I didn’t know this until I was already engaged and living with him. But he grabs womens’ attention like bees to honey. He is nearly bankrupt right now… because he has overspent. But I see his business rebuilding and I keep thinking I will be left (or I will leave him) right about the time his business takes off again…. and I will watch him with a hot new woman.



Yes…he is difficult in every area. I left my tv career to move with him…. and this is my new attempt to being a success…after leaving everything for him.

\\\\

Given what you've said here, we can figure on two things pretty reliably:

1. You know the right answer.

2. You are very unlikely to make a move on the right answer.

The first thing is because, well, c'mon. You've said it yourself: you've made a bad deal.

The second thing is that you know it's a bad deal but you don't really see it that way. Not really. When people know the right answer but don't act on it, it's because they don't want to act on it. You express a preference to come out of this ahead... but you're acting like someone who is content where she is.

Unless something changes, an adventurous entrepreneur here could make a tidy sum by going short on your odds. Chances of things being any different (better for you) in a year's time are hovering somewhere around the odds of a very large man becoming thin after saying "I need to go on a diet".

So what are you going to do about it?

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

If she'll step up and do it, @Kung Fu Steve put her first hour on my tab.

@legaljanie he'll change you life.

We've already had a quick chat.

I don't have time for private 1-on-1's these days and I would only do it if I could make the shift in one session.

Unfortunately there's not enough drive there to make a shift yet -- I hope in the future that changes... but we all have our own paths.

Sucks to see people suffer though.

 

[Niptuck MD]

like others have stated, end it and consult with legal counsel immediately

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Well no, but sort of. He would often block my exit of the house when I would try to leave during a fight. Once during a fight he tried to get the bag out of my hand. He yanked it and it broke my fingers. I did have to have surgery.

Yikes...

So yes, he is both emotionally and physically abusive. What a toolbag.

Moving on won't be easy in the short term, but it will be the best thing you've ever done in your life.

You've already proven you can be an independent strong woman. You don't need this azzwipe to validate your self-worth. GTFO.

 

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[legaljanie]

I started a business early this year and my partner was not supportive. It was a software platform that helped in his area of business. He is a doctor.

So i suggested he might be willing to help me market it and sell it. He said no. He was very rude and said he would never be “my bitch”.

So i got it off the ground myself and got very lucky to find an investor for a small portion. That was when my fiance got interested. He then he started giving advice. He offered valuable information and it helped me and my investor/developer. But then he began demanding to be in meetings w my developer. He said it was OUR business. (The legal documents only list me and i did that on purpose).

He became threatening and during arguments said he COULD sue me after the fight he would say he would never do that, but I should be aware that he COULd.

My developer/investor (one in the same) backed out and said that it was mainly because of my fiance. He felt that I should have told him more about our level of romantic involvement up front and that he was not comfortable with the fact that HE noticed my fiance positioning himself as part owner of the company. He is gone. He said NO MORE. My fiance blamed me and suggested that I went to him and secretly told him that he was threatening to sue...and that scared him off. But that's not the case. I never said a word, because I knew that would have been a red flag.

Well i started getting meetings for NEW investors. I took him to the first meeting and he explained why it was so good in his area of expertise. He took over the meeting and then later told me that no one would invest because i looked pissed off and i look like drama.

They did ask who owns the business and i said i do.

Fortunately i got a second meeting. I asked who they wanted at that meeting. They said it was just an intro meeting to more investors so just me was fine.

My partner went batshit crazy. I got that text about 45 minutes before and i told him it was ok. He was going to drive with me anyway downtown. He could just drop me off like he always does.

He was mad. Very mad. He said that i am showing my true colors. And they aren’t pretty. That I only praise the almighty God of money. I don’t respect him or the relationship. That I am money hungry and he thinks I will leave him once i get the funding. He said he will no longer help me. And he may even cancel some of the things he already did for me.

He said i should have mandated that he is in the meeting because we are a team. (Which he says i don’t understand the definition of) Ans he screamed and yelled at me until he dropped me.

He said “guarantee you fail”. I said wow. Thanks. He said that i can’t explain like he can in his area of expertise and that I make mistakes.

He said “good luck cause this is going to need every ounce”.

I went in. I was flustered but i did ok. I got a third meeting.

When i came out he just kept yelling. Said he won’t help me anymore. And that since i won’t put his name on the company it looks really bad. That anyone with 2 cents would know that I didn’t accomplish this myself. (Since he has expertise in the field that my software serves)

He said life with me is not fun. That all i do is argue. (He was the one arguing!) and that i should make a decision because he’s so sick of my behavior.

I had always said why do you need your name on legal docs when we are supposed to be married? He said great. Now you are blackmailing me into marrying you? Either you marry me or you get nothing?!

I just happened to look at an email on his phone today that he sent to a colleague of his == trying to help "me" get into a new sector. The problem is this email -- he tells this "friend" of BOTH of ours -- that WE started this business together and that WE are doing outreach. He says it's "OUR" business.

So it's clear...that he is indeed positioning himself as partner or co founder....and my investor/developer was right. He is trying to state that it's "his" business too.

What would you do? He feels he has helped so much...and that while I paid him 1k a month as a consultant...it's not enough for him...

I asked him how much equity he wants. he wouldn't commit. I said 3%? 5%? He said no....and he wouldn't sign an NDA or any documents that prevent him future ownership.

 

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[LeoistheSun]

Drop the dead weight. Good thing he is your fiancee and not your husband.

 

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[DST]

Didn't even bother finishing reading it all, but unless you have brain damage its pretty obvious you should break up?

 

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[Kak]

Yes i see what you are saying.

I do love him but not the way i used to. It’s true. I am angry and resentful.

I think i keep imagining that some how some day we will be okay.

The problem with letting go...is that I respect him and his surgical skills. I see him as a very smart man and I feel inferior to him.

Marrying someone for their "surgical skills" and because you feel inferior is nuts.

That is the kind of logic a high school girl brings to a dating relationship... not two adults contemplating actual real marriage.

You didn't even refute my original argument that you already see a likelihood of divorce.

You don't love him. You hate him. You hate the guy enough to get on a forum and bash him to people you don't know. He is defenseless.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Tanesha? Is that you..?

It isn't unless she's smart enough to do some IP shenanigans.

I think at the core I'm not capable of much...including this business.

But you are capable. It just takes a lot of work and learning. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and if anyone does (especially a significant other!) they need to be dumped out of your life.

@Kung Fu Steve would work magic with you insofar as changing your limiting beliefs. I believe he has a mentorship program coming available soon. Might want to keep an eye out for it.

Despite some of the barbs coming your way, all of us really want you to find your way and succeed.

 

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[JAJT]

I think abuse is a strong word for a guy that’s just a douche. People throw that word around a lot. Mentally taxing and and a**hole yes. Abusive? Really?

I don't throw the word around much either - I think today's society has become FAR too emotionally sensitive and coddled.

That being said, I think this crossed the line from "douche" to "abuse" the moment he went from not believing in her (douche) to threatening legal action and trying to trick his way into a good deal when he sees it, and using her feelings as the leverage. That kind of manipulation crosses a line with even the not-so-sensitive crowd (like myself).

But as always, there's three sides to every story - hers, his, and the truth.

Worth noting that while I make my own opinions known based on this story - it's purely based on this story. If I were to meet this guy in real life I'd happily talk to him on the basis of a clean slate. I think it's irresponsible to make any action or judgement based on one side of any story.

I will leave him....but I know from past experience...I must disappear. I cant tell him or he will beg and plead or the drama will make me stay....when he cries....I break down.

I called a lawyer today to see if I could possibly get a protective order -- that way I can use it as evidence as well -- if I ever need it for a questioning investor etc.

Again, again, again - please make sure you are doing this because it's true and what you believe is right. Not because of a bunch of strangers on the internet told you to. People tend to color stories with their emotions and if enough people support it, the story teller is very prone to believing their own embellishments.

We use this psychology as a tool in entrepreneurship and life - but when used positively we call them affirmations, meditation, priming.... when used negatively, you are just believing your own lies and embellishments to disastrous results.

Please take real life seriously.

 

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[Lauryn]

Is this really a boy that you want to marry, spend the rest of your life with, be your business partner and possible father your potential children?

If you stay with this guy, your business (as well as your physical and mental health) will fail. There is no doubt in my mind about that. If your goal is to be a successful entrepreneur, then get out of this toxic relationship and work towards conquering your goals.

Confession Time.

I am a young, heterosexual woman under 35 woman living in the contiguous US. I joined this forum 5 years ago, and was just going through this phase where I wanted and needed a relationship, especially after a trying divorce.

For the record, my ex husband and I are still friends, and I think we're better that way, so I refuse to demonize him.

That being said, I remember posting on here about dating, relationships, and building my path to the Fastlane. I remember specifically feeling worried that a woman like me, who was discovering how to disrupt my attachment to financial dependence, would have trouble finding a spouse who:

• would love me for me
• would encourage my Fastlane mentality
• would be able to keep up with or surpass my success
• would (potentially) uplevel and grow me in some powerful areas
• wouldn't make me feel undesirable for being independent
• would be open to marriage, kids, etc - doing things our way

I felt it was so impossible because I had dated too many men who spoke of the desire to be the "head of household," but they couldn't even pay the F*cking light bill. No these men never lived with me, but by themselves, I just kept seeing the ambition speak yet never realize in their actions.

MJ and others specifically said not to worry about a relationship. I didn't want to build alone, so I resisted this, but the more I dated, the less things worked out for me. BUT I can't lie - they were RIGHT.

Eventually, I put all that outward focus on myself, and built my publishing game up a bit. I learned about my inadequacies, and realized they were mostly perceived because women are often told we aren't enough and that we aren't as smart as a man in certain areas.

We're also told not to outshine the men we're with so we dumb ourselves down, until we learn not to - often with the help of strong men who refuse to let us ignore our value. (Like many of the men in this thread telling the original poster to stop selling herself short.)

Life came at me fast, and although I wasn't looking, I did meet a guy. I was truly, deeply in over my head with him. He wasn't what I was looking for, and he caught me off guard, because he seemed to be "that guy" who checked off all the right boxes.

Until he didn't.

I made so many excuses for this person, and ignored so much that I spent my energy trying to supplement his character flaws and BEING by trying to fill those gaps and cracks in. I eventually made myself believe I was the one who needed to change, to entice him to DO and BE better for himself, and for the "us" he would fight for when I put my foot down. And yes he would beg and plead to keep us together, because I was just a safety net that kept him enabled.

But one day I broke inside, and I couldn't hold on if I TRIED. I was crushed.

It took catching up with him, after our breakup, and seeing him in his undisturbed element, to realize I should have never bent my wings to curttail my elevation on the account of him "waking up" and changing one day.

I was in the Desert of Desertion AGAIN.

And I was angry, so angry with God and the Universe (yes, I'm a little woowoo-spiritual), because I was specific about not wanting any man near me to waste my time.

But I remembered, this time around, even when I miss him (it happens), that if he was who the F*ck he said he was, we wouldn't be living separate lives. We would have been together, because he would have stood up to his commitments to himself and he would have invested in acquiring mastery of HIS integrity.

Life is short, and while true beauty never dies, our sexuality, energy, vitality, ambition, and feminine charge doesn't need to be wasted on any man who refuses to step up and be his highest, biggest, best self -- and scars you to keep you subdued to his liking.

@legaljanie I don't know your life, your appearance, or your story. But I know you like the fact that this man looks GOOD on paper and to public appearances. He's a sexy motherfucka with money, charisma, and possibly an insane sex drive that can make you cum all night.

Regardless, he belittles your ideas, tries to take financial and intellectual credit for your successes, and shows signs of being both entitled and threatened to your capital gains - because he literally fears YOU doing (nasty little) things to him that he has done to the women he's claimed to love and commit to his whole life.

Listen, he needs help. He sounds like a gaslighting, narcissistic, sociopath - - and no amount of charm, money, sex, promises of a life together, and good looks can change that. Hell, I would even check to see if he has Borderline Personality disorder - google it. He's very black and white, and has a temper, which are flags for me.

You've already said you are taking steps to leave him, and if you do - good. I honestly feel men give better relationship advice than women, because they get straight to the point whereas women will try to explain away his bullshit behavior.

You do not want to look back 20 years from now and regret not allowing yourself to be successful, with or without him, his threats to leave or not marry you, are really designed to control you and make you stay.

Look at him as a sign of what you can have. The same way I was in love with my hunky, muscular, caramel-toned, ex... even though he wouldn't change his mentality and get off the couch LITERALLY when life came at him... was the same way I could love someone else.

I've slow burned, mourned, and pushed myself away from something I KNEW jeopardized my highest Fastlane (and overall) potential...

... and believe it or not, am currently dating someone who is WAY better. Best of all, I was so jaded and done with the "average" mentality, that I was so guarded that I wouldn't be bothered. This current man couldn't come to the table with anything LESS than my private basic requirements, and several DEMONSTRATIONS of ambition and drive IN ACTION.

He's handsome, healthy, focused, driven, and opens my mind. We talk about goals daily and pursue them together. He's made sweeping changes for the better - OF HIS OWN VOLITION - in his personal life, business life, and circle, because he has someone to discuss ideas with. We recently went into business TOGETHER without either of us talking down on our skills.

He's naturally EVERYTHING I think I was looking for - and forward to - with the last guy (and previous relationships) - except different and better in unexpected ways. And as long as I keep MYSELF and my goals first, he knows I only have room to accept those who 1,000% support me, or nothing at all.

Again, life is short, and you only live once. Don't waste your pretty, your intellect, your ambition, or your time and other assets trying to justify someone who would literally drain you dry and attempt to take everything you have to give, just to use you up because their selfish, arrogant, asinine needs piss on your genuine goals and ambition.

He will need/miss you long before you need/miss him once your heart heals.

Focus on your developments... and let the right man fall into your life and demonstrate his value.



PS This is applicable for men too... but I am speaking from a woman's perspective to a woman. I feel like women get intimidated or fearful of blowing all the way up because immature men and women give us this idea we can have success, or love but not both. It's all whatever YOU want as long as you focus on your big life goals and personal development first.

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

 

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