FEAR - as you pursue financial freedom

[White8]

Now that I'm officially job-less, and am a lot more in-tune with long-term cash and income needs, I've started to realize exactly how little $1M really is. While you think you can live off the interest of $1M, keep in mind that at today's rates (3% guaranteed and maybe 7-8% more aggressive investments), that's only $30-80K/year before taxes, and with inflation, in 10 years that will be even less.

I'm not saying that many people couldn't live off that amount, but I think for a lot of people (definitely myself and probably for most people on this forum), it's not enough.

You should have your husband do the math on $1M in the bank, no income, lots of free time, and two kids (who presumably plan to go to college)...perhaps that will incent him to get a bit more creative and aggressive in his investments...

There is always a certain amount of fear for me in any investment and it basically boils down to the fear of losing what I have. Some fear is not necessarily a bad thing as it should make an investor thoroughly check out an investment and back away if there are problems. Someone with no fear will either hit it big, or lose it all.

Another fear for me is retiring at any age. I grew up in a workaholic family and that's exactly what I am. To be honest, vacation bore me and I don't quite know what to do with myself when there isn't some sort or work to do. I also don't like the idea of a reduction in income.

Ask JScott mentioned, $1 million isn't much anymore. My Dad once mentioned that in the early '70's he thought that if he had $250k to invest in safe investments like index funds he could retire. Obviously $250k is nothing today.

 

[Redshft]

Here are some inspirational quotes on fear that I think can be helpful to many.
Remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

People living deeply have no fear of death.

Anais Nin​

When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.

Ralph Waldo Emerson​

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

Bertrand Russell​

Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.

Karl Augustus Menninger​

Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.

James Stephens​

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert​

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Unknown​

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

William Allen White​

Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.

Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture​

Where no hope is left, is left no fear.

Milton​

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.

Japanese Proverb​

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.

Helen Keller​

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Eric Hoffer​

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Marcus Aurelius​

When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.

Henry David Thoreau​

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt​

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.

Ralph Waldo Emerson​

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.

H. P. Lovecraft​

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Dale Carnegie​

Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.

Virgil Thomson​

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.

Gandhi​

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Unknown​

One more to add to that, which is one of my favorite quotes...

Fear has the ability to end passion...
Takahiro Ueno
​

 

[AroundTheWorld]

I am reading the book, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose"

As I read, I began to realize that whenever I feel fear, it is a fear of loss....

Of losing what?

Material possessions.

The first few chapters in the book talk about realizing that when we are young, we come to think of our possessions as a part of who we are - - - or that a part of us is in those possessions.

So... maybe if I can come to realize that there is not a part of me in my possessions and that my possessions are not a part of who I am... maybe then... the fear will go away.

 

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[Russ H]

Big stuff here, ATW.

I realize that Your Money or Your Life was not written/pallatable to most on these forums, but this was one of the HUGE take-aways I had from YMOYL when I first read it.

I had really become an "accumulator" (to make up for not having anything that was "mine" as a kid). In just a few short years as an adult, I bought TONS of stuff. And 99.99% of it, I never used.

But I was too afraid to give it up.

This lead to some rather big "AHA's" for me . . .

(more to come)

-Russ H.

 

[AroundTheWorld]

It is the beginning of an interesting "ah-ha" for me....

I'm not generally a material person... I don't have many possessions.

It is just one thing - - - just one possession at the root of my fears - - -

My house.

So, this leads me to... how did I become so emotionally attached to this place? Why has this taken on a different emotional aspect than the rest of my possessions?

 

[Happy]

I’ll show my age by quoting lyrics from Janis Joplin’s song “Me and Bobby McGeeâ€
““Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loseâ€

These words have intrigued me, and at times haunted me, from the very first time I heard them.

I’ve seen penniless immigrants amass substantial fortunes because they had very little to lose. They set goals and worked hard to obtain the goals; without having the monkey on their back that they “may†lose everything and become penniless.

They more we have - the more fear, we may have, of losing it. This becomes more of a reality if we are responsible for bringing children into the world. Lets stop and think about this for a second… By allowing fear to control our reactions to opportunities, are we doing our children a disservice and imbedding the same fear of failure into their lives? How often do parents encourage their children to take risks? As parents and/or mentors are we leading by example? I struggle with this on a regular basis.

I don’t want this post to get too long and boring, so I will close with this idea “Diversify – Don't put all your eggs (Hopes & Dreams) in one basket."


PEERless – Where you thinking about the project called “one red paperclip?â€

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal ~ Sheri Rose Shepherd

Enjoy the Ride!
Happy

 

[memenode]

Freedom is lack of fear, pure and simple. This also explains why fear is used when the goal is to strip people of their freedom.

But when you no longer have fear, you can do anything because you know that whatever happens you will always retain your own self, your mind, which you always have absolute control over. Soon then you start to realize that failure is nothing but a piece of information which you can use to succeed.

The turning point for me in terms of realizing this on a really deep and emotional level was the scene in the movie "V for Vendetta" where Evey is asked whether she is willing to cooperate and she said no even though that meant she'll be executed behind the chemical sheds. What made this scene so incredibly powerful is when the detainer then said to her that "You have no fear anymore. You are completely free."

I still shiver at the thought of these words. "You have no fear anymore. You are completely free."

Of course. It's hard to fully and completely apply this theory to your life. I can preach how this is the key to true freedom, but I cannot yet guarantee that I will feel no fear or that I will never be paralyzed by it in a given situation simply because I haven't been tested yet. But the fact that I now understand and poses this insight into the nature of freedom as opposed to fear makes me so much more likely to just go ahead and pursue what I want despite the risks.

Speaking of worst case scenario, what is a worst case scenario really? Being in jail, threatened by a death sentence by a totalitarian government because you dared to speak up when you weren't allowed to, for example (this sort of thing happens in China folks) and with no way to escape. This may seem too extreme, but consider this. If you can imagine such a worst case scenario and believe that you wouldn't lose yourself in such a situation (because you don't have to, nobody can take away your control over your own mind), then all of the other slip ups in life no longer seem like a big deal, do they?

So why bother with fear at all? Just banish it 100% so it doesn't come in your way ever again. Focus on more positive and productive emotions instead. Of course, lack of fear does not entail lack of caution. It does not mean making decisions on a whim and with no rational thought to back them up. It just means not letting fear have anything to do with your making of decisions.

Does that make sense?

So what is my biggest fear? Well.. it should really be the fear itself. While I hold no illusion that I developed to the point of having no fear at all I wont bother giving it more thought. When I face my fear I'll know it and hopefully I'll have the guts enough to tell it to bugger the hell off, cause I have a life to lead!

Cheers

 

[SaraK]

Freedom is lack of fear, pure and simple. This also explains why fear is used when the goal is to strip people of their freedom.

But when you no longer have fear, you can do anything because you know that whatever happens you will always retain your own self, your mind, which you always have absolute control over. Soon then you start to realize that failure is nothing but a piece of information which you can use to succeed.

The turning point for me in terms of realizing this on a really deep and emotional level was the scene in the movie "V for Vendetta" where Evey is asked whether she is willing to cooperate and she said no even though that meant she'll be executed behind the chemical sheds. What made this scene so incredibly powerful is when the detainer then said to her that "You have no fear anymore. You are completely free."

I still shiver at the thought of these words. "You have no fear anymore. You are completely free."

Of course. It's hard to fully and completely apply this theory to your life. I can preach how this is the key to true freedom, but I cannot yet guarantee that I will feel no fear or that I will never be paralyzed by it in a given situation simply because I haven't been tested yet. But the fact that I now understand and poses this insight into the nature of freedom as opposed to fear makes me so much more likely to just go ahead and pursue what I want despite the risks.

Speaking of worst case scenario, what is a worst case scenario really? Being in jail, threatened by a death sentence by a totalitarian government because you dared to speak up when you weren't allowed to, for example (this sort of thing happens in China folks) and with no way to escape. This may seem too extreme, but consider this. If you can imagine such a worst case scenario and believe that you wouldn't lose yourself in such a situation (because you don't have to, nobody can take away your control over your own mind), then all of the other slip ups in life no longer seem like a big deal, do they?

So why bother with fear at all? Just banish it 100% so it doesn't come in your way ever again. Focus on more positive and productive emotions instead. Of course, lack of fear does not entail lack of caution. It does not mean making decisions on a whim and with no rational thought to back them up. It just means not letting fear have anything to do with your making of decisions.

Does that make sense?

So what is my biggest fear? Well.. it should really be the fear itself. While I hold no illusion that I developed to the point of having no fear at all I wont bother giving it more thought. When I face my fear I'll know it and hopefully I'll have the guts enough to tell it to bugger the hell off, cause I have a life to lead!

Cheers

For the most part I agree with what you're saying, though I don't think it's practically possible to banish your fear 100%. Fear is an emotion that can rear it's head any time. That being said, I think it definitely should be your goal to OVERCOME your fear 100% of the time. It's all about being in the driver's seat of your own self and not letting the emotions be in control.

 

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[fanocks2003]

All fear ultimately comes down to fear of death. Fear of the thought of not existing anymore. Fear of the ultimate outcome of a particular happening. Prove me wrong.

Fear of losing material posessions is rooted in fear of death.
Fear of being disliked is rooted in fear of death.
Fear of.......

Etc.

Death is every fears ultimate common denominator.

 

[Happy]

My view is that every fear has a common denominator in death. I might be wrong. The death is the ultimate unknown as I see it.

Touché my friend - I stand corrected. :smx9:

 

[fanocks2003]

I guess this is true if you follow the fear a few steps along. For example:

Afraid to do something socially unpopular because of a fear of being rejected by friends and society.
Afraid of being rejected because afraid of being alone.
Afraid of being alone because chance of survival is less (and dying greater) when you're alone. (This was more true in our distant evolutionary past than it is now, but the instinct remains).

I listened to an Anthony Robbins CD a few weeks ago and the thing I remember most from it was when he said that there are two emotions that drive us: FEAR and DESIRE. The point he was trying to make was that we should work to change our motivation from fear to desire (ex: if you want to lose weight, focus on how hot you'll look when you reach your goal, not how ugly you look when you're overweight). Replace fear motivation with desire motivation.

As I was writing this post it occurred to me: the survival instinct stems from both a FEAR of death as well as a DESIRE to continue living and doing things we enjoy.

The more I think about it, the more I think that Happy was right... the common denominator of all fears is fear of the unknown. Fear of death is the step before that. So I'm going to add one last line to my example from above:

Afraid to do something socially unpopular because of a fear of being rejected by friends and society.
Afraid of being rejected because afraid of being alone.
Afraid of being alone because chance of survival is less (and dying greater) when you're alone.
Afraid to die because of the unknowns: what is after death? what could I have done in life if only I'd lived longer?

In the movie "Alexander", Alexander says "If you conquer fear, you'll conquer death". I think death is a fundamental thing in our lives. Only when we conquer the fear of dying would we be brave enough to do exactly everything we wanted to do (good and bad things).

This discussion is very stimulating to be a part of.

 

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[SaraK]

I disagree. A healthy fear of danger is a good thing, as it keeps us alive.

But one need look no further than the statistics on worldwide suicide to see that at least 2% of all deaths worldwide (those who are successful in their attempts) are people who would rather die than face loss, humiliation, depression, or some other emotion - real or perceived. It may be statistically insignificant at first glance. But I think it is a good indication that one's greatest fears are largely based on one's greatest values.

For instance, I highly valued the respect, admiration and appreciation of my (now late) parents. So I made many difficult decisions to prevent doing anything to disappoint them.

If one values comfort above all else, then losing one's comfortable home may seem worse to them than death.

If one values accomplishment / victory above all else, then he would rather die (in the battlefield, for instance) than lose. I recently read a statistic that a large group of olympic and other world-class athletes were polled: "If you could take a substance that would guarantee that you would win every contest you attempted, and set records along the way, BUT you would definitely die within 365 days of doing so, would you still take them?" Approx 75% said "Yes, they would".

While that's not something I understand, personally, I'm not going to judge anyone whose values are different from mine. Once we understand what one values most in life, then we can understand how to motivate them (and ourselves).

Footnote: As an aside, statistically speaking, people of "Faith" are also typically far less afraid of death than others who purport no faith-based belief system.

:iagree: That's a really good point. Everyone has fears, but what we fear THE MOST is what we need to conquer in order to not be controlled/limited by our fear. For a lot of people that is death, like Fanocks said. But it can be other things too. When I read Fanock's post initially my first reaction was "That's not true"... because death isn't something I'm particularly afraid of.

A year or two ago I consciously identified my greatest fear and have since been running scenarios in my head of "how would I deal with that situation if it happened" and I am not as afraid of it as I used to be. Not totally free of the fear yet, but I've made significant progress. Although I think I would still feel afraid if faced with that situation, I would be able to control my fear and act according to how I choose to act rather than purely out of reaction.

I agree with what Jill said about faith... part of what makes faith so powerful is that it helps conquer the fear of death.

 

[memenode]

For the most part I agree with what you're saying, though I don't think it's practically possible to banish your fear 100%. Fear is an emotion that can rear it's head any time. That being said, I think it definitely should be your goal to OVERCOME your fear 100% of the time. It's all about being in the driver's seat of your own self and not letting the emotions be in control.

Though I think aspiring to banish it might lead to it being overcome, but I suppose this might be one of those things that depends from person to person. What may be universal to all though is that to overcome fear one must identify his or her fears and then just counter them with values (s)he feels strongly about, because as Napoleon Hill says, very highly emotionalized thoughts are the ones which impress on our subconscious first, and our subconscious is in a way a foundation of our conscious.

That said, I agree that rational mind should be in the drivers seat, but I have to point out that emotions are still important as guiding signals. They tell us which consequences of our actions we like and which we dislike, so that we can adjust them to accomplish something we really desire. They, of course, also tell us what we feel is "right" and "wrong" in the world, thus defining our morals. But it's true that while emotions are the fire that thursts us in one or the other direction, a rational mind always has to have the last word.

I also agree that fundamentally fear is the fear of unknown. And I almost agree that fear of danger is beneficial. I just wouldn't quite call that fear. I would call that "caution", which is perhaps a miniaturized and much more rationalized version of fear, but one that's much less or at all destructive towards us. It's when one knows that something could hurt him, but instead of shivering at the thought of it, merely adjusts his actions to avoid that danger. That's fear vs. caution.

Cheers

 

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[AroundTheWorld]

I'm curious....

has your (all readers) view of fear or level of fear changed in the last year or two?

 

[PaulRobert]

I'm curious....

has your (all readers) view of fear or level of fear changed in the last year or two?

Definitely-

My view of fear has changed dramatically. When I started investing in stocks I had a fear of losing money; what happened- I let my emotions get to me and I lost money. I changed my tactic, started investing wisely and started to make progress.

My next fear was fear of being criticized or judge by others. I have since changed due to working on my people skills, stop caring what others think or say, and started challenging myself in my daily tasks.

I got over my fears by thinking if I don't do this now, I will never get this opportunity in my life again. Fear holds people back from their true successes. When you stop fearing you start living. (IMHO)



Here is an example-

You are on top of a 45 story building, you have two ways of getting down- using the stairs or rappelling down the side. You begin to analyze and come to a conclusion that rappelling is more dangerous and scarier aka- Fear. Now, you see others rappelling down, yelling and having a great time. You think to yourself "Hmmm, Why are they having so much fun?" Why? Here is the reason, they see that this opportunity may never show up and take advantage of the present. After they are done rappelling, they have a new experience and probably a fun rush of adrenaline. They are the ones that do not fear, but take educated risks and are not held back by the "What ifs in life" They overcome their fears by doing exactly what they fear.

So go ahead, try that jump, you might not fear it after you try.

 

[czach41]

What do I fear most right now?
Not being able to pay my rent. This will happen if I lose my job.

Worst possible outcome?

I sell all my stuff, and either live in my car or couch hop in some of my buddie's places. I can think of a lot worse things than going through that. I've got nothing to lose! Woohoo!

Maybe I am naive, but I surely am fearless these days.

I'm 24, with no dependents, and have around $10,000 in student loan debt. BRING IT LIFE!

 

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[Caesarion]

I'm at an interesting place. I have had a lot of things and I lost them ALL. Homes, multiple properties, cars, insurance, businesses. At times I thought I would go crazy. But hey, I'm still here. I have the same mind that created all those things before. I'm grateful I have good health to start over and I didn't drink and smoke my problems away while it all happened. I no longer have no fear of losing material things. I feel like now, my fears are more human to human. (What people think, not being able to make a comeback, etc.)