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FEAR - as you pursue financial freedom

AroundTheWorld

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It seems that fear stands in the way of success... it can paralyse you (analysis paralysis), lead you to make bad decisions, etc. If you can get the the heart of it, you can come up with a safety net to protect what it is that is most precious to you - or you may walk through the loss - and see that you will come out on the other side okay.

People fear making mistakes, failing, getting it wrong, losing valued possessions, etc.

If the sheist hits the fan - either in the form of personal financial disaster or in the form of a recession/depression, what is the very worst thing that can happen to you financially?

lose your house
credit score tanks
lose your business

For me, it is losing my house. I know that even if I have to start at ground 0 (negative net worth) - I can build again. If I lose a business or all my investment properties, I can rebuild.... even if my credit is shot.

What I can't replace, is my homestead. So, my "back up" plan includes the ability to keep my house.

What do you most fear financially?
How do you overcome that fear?
 

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MJ DeMarco

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What do you most fear financially?
How do you overcome that fear?
Number 1: Losing my health and subsequently, my health insurance.
Overcome: Try to eat healthy, exercise, pay my health insurance bills.

Number 2: Lawsuits -- anything involving lawyers is expensive. People don't understand that a legal battle, whether your case is good or bad, is a losing proposition. If you win your lawsuit, you lose. There are no winners in lawsuits. The cost to defend them is death to a small business owner.

An example is the case of the Korean immigrants that own that cleaners in Washington DC and were sued for $65 million. They are going bankrupt defending the suit even though it is frivolous.

Overcome: Insurance, being over insured usually.

Good post ATW, rep speed +++
 

Peter2

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Here are some inspirational quotes on fear that I think can be helpful to many. :)
Remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.


People living deeply have no fear of death.
Anais Nin



When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
Bertrand Russell



Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.
Karl Augustus Menninger



Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
James Stephens



I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert



Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Unknown



I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White



Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.
Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture



Where no hope is left, is left no fear.
Milton



Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
Japanese Proverb



Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
Helen Keller



You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
Eric Hoffer



If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Marcus Aurelius



When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
Henry David Thoreau



You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt



In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
H. P. Lovecraft



Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie



Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.
Virgil Thomson



The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
Gandhi



Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Unknown
 

triple J

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Number 2: Lawsuits -- anything involving lawyers is expensive. People don't understand that a legal battle, whether your case is good or bad, is a losing proposition. If you win your lawsuit, you lose. There are no winners in lawsuits. The cost to defend them is death to a small business owner.

An example is the case of the Korean immigrants that own that cleaners in Washington DC and were sued for $65 million. They are going bankrupt defending the suit even though it is frivolous.
More of this can also be found here http://madconomist.com/10-most-outragreous-frivolous-lawsuits
 
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AroundTheWorld

AroundTheWorld

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bump for all the posts Peter-cat-man provided.

We recently had a conversation with a new acquaintance about what holds people back from taking the financial leap into the fastlane....

  • Quit the JOB
  • Forgoe the Pension
  • Become responsible for health care

Perhaps it is facing fear first - - - that has to be done before one can take the leap of faith.
 

Legacy Dad

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This sounds awfully familiar? :smxB:

I think for me it is letting my family down again, I had some failures in the past that put us in bad financial situations.

I can go through anything, but making my children go without is very hard.

I also promised my wife a certain level of security and to risk losing that is very, very hard for me.

How do I try to overcome this?

I struggle with it constantly, you'll have to buy the Fastlane Meetup CD and listen to my presentation for all those that did not attend!!!!

Lance
 

Runum

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I'm with you Lance. Once, when I was self emp., my kid needed some medical help and we couldn't afford it. We were forced to pay it off with some unfavorable conditions. It literally made me cry at night. I don't want to ever be in the position of not being able to provide for her again.

I am close to making that jump again. I run the decision over in my head almost hourly.
 

wildambitions

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I would TOTALLY agree with Legacy Dad and Runum. Kids bring out that added fear of not being able to provide.

In my experience, it was THAT fear that pushed my husband and I to do "whatever we needed to" to get out of that position. It was OK for us to be "homeless" and living in our vehicle. But we didn't like to have to have our son in that environment. For us , it meant getting a "JOB"(just over broke) to regroup and build.

It took us a week to move into an apartment, a month to find a job (retirement type that we do to occupy time and have "fun" money), a year to build our dream home, and two years to have opportunities available to start moving fastlane.

BOTTOM LINE: Just do it! :)
 

yveskleinsky

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I suppose my biggest fear is making a decision without enough knowledge, and losing lots of money and my husband. My husband is not entrepreneurial, and even with a degree in finance has no desire to pursue financial freedom until retirement. Because of this we split finances and assets early on. Currently, I avoid putting a lot on the line- because it's more than money, it's our relationship- how can one member of a team strive for financial freedom while the other clings to security? I know that he dislikes me doing (or trying to do) my own thing, and that breaks my heart. I suppose I feel the need to give him the stability he probably thought marriage would give him, and I always feel like a failure at that. Because if I give him that security, then I'm miserable.

If I were to go bellyup, and it could be tied to my husband, he could lose his job (which he loves, and has dedicated his life to) and his security clearance and he'd probably deep down he'd resent me for the rest of his life.

...I suppose any venture I do, or continue to do, wouldn't affect him if it was in the right entity and as long as the BP was solid I could always apply for additional financing- so maybe this fear isn't real at all- it's just hasn't been thought through until now. Hmm...
 

SteveO

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Thanks for bumping this. I don't think that I had seen those quotes last time around.

Yves, I bumped another thread about minimizing risk. There is a fine line between enough data to pull the trigger and analysis paralysis.

http://www.thefastlanetomillions.com/showthread.php?t=626
 

Legacy Dad

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If I were to go bellyup, and it could be tied to my husband, he could lose his job (which he loves, and has dedicated his life to) and his security clearance and he'd probably deep down he'd resent me for the rest of his life.
Yep, if I go over 50% debt to income, the men in black suits come and start asking questions about my financial stability. Then I get the polygraph.

I really like what I do, who I work with and the adventure and travel but my financial choices have to be very calculated before I can pull the trigger.

Lance
 

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unicon

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Eliminate by really defining words and numbers. Be a comparison shopper to define. Everything is relative: to contrast something is to better define it.

Courage is coming out against fear, work is coming out against laziness. Love is either work or courage.

Love is either work or courage, their are no exceptions (M Scott Peck)

The above are all linked, now you know what people are going to do before they do it and human skills will trump technical skills every time.
 

Russ H

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unicon said:
"Courage is coming out against fear, work is coming out against laziness.
Love is either work or courage, their are no exceptions (M Scott Peck)
unicon (from another online forum) said:
Who says money measures wealth? People who work for what you define as slave pay do so for their own reasons. Real Wealth is not instantaneous it occurs over time. You can win the lottery and still be worthless. The search is for truth, if that demands working for free as RK states then do it. I as well as Rk never worked for money, it was always for what I could learn. If the learning stopped I was gone. This grew to learning the mechanics of the world to then being able to be self taught. Who says you even have to even be paid? An investor works his mind, his money makes the money, there are different levels of structuring at different timing. Wealthy do not get any pay, they control more and more resources and therefore have more freedom.

If Floyd wishes to borrow money to invest he can, period. This has nothing to do with pay, it has to do with character. If he can guarantee to another he will pay back he is of no risk. He can grow with his own level of risk totally outside the system. The system is subordinate to the truth. If you cannot see the truth you need to do more searching. Every association can be good or bad, that is ones choice. But that choice is a cause and effect ratio. Your statement is a victims mentality is disguise.

Your 3rd paragraph also shows a lack of understanding of work. Peck defines love as either work or courage, however not all work is love. His whole book is about paradox. For something to be truthful it must be a paradox (have two sides). Only one side is a lie. You limit the capacity of work to your own view of hours which is trite. Work is coming out against laziness, people can work hard and be the laziest people on the planet which of coarse has nothing to do with love. Courage is coming out against fear, as we are all fearful. When you show true work and true courage nothing can stop you.

When you define terms with your own limitation you are just describing your own personal limitation. The pain is in thinking, it takes a great deal of effort to be courageous and work properly. Do you think Peck or RK demonstrates courage and hard work in their writings?? The answer is obvious.

Peck describes the 4 tools of discipline to solve ALL problems as:
1) Dedication to the truth
2) Acceptance of Responsibility
3) Balancing
4) Delaying Gratification

This is work which is hard, disciplined, joyful, painful, truthful, etc. Master it again and you will solve all problems.

Finally his famous quote - the ultimate truth: Life is difficult but once you accept that life is difficult, it is no longer difficult.

The ultimate truth.

Most people do not want to pay the price to go down the "Road Less Traveled" which demands more and more.

Rk even wrote a whole book on "Paying the Price" to get rich. Which is the same sheep in sheep's clothing. His direct quote "A high-income job, a big house, nice cars, and lavish vacations do not mean you're rich. In fact it could mean exactly the opposite."

Price is not always measured in money. Work is not always measured in hours or dollars.
Great stuff here. The kind of brilliance that was once commonplace on the RD forums, before they were overrun with NNWKIA (No Net Worth Know It Alls) and Conspiracy Theorists.

No more parking for you, unicon. Rep speed for this.

Hoping you can add to the discussions on the fastlane as passionately as you have elsewhere.

-Russ H.
 

SteveO

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Eliminate by really defining words and numbers. Be a comparison shopper to define. Everything is relative: to contrast something is to better define it.
Funny, something as simple as this says an awful lot. It struck me and then I saw the post by Russ. It is nice that there are so many ways to say something.
 

jfrantz

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One quote an old mentor of mine would remind me of...

"Worry is the most sincere form of prayer"
 

PEERless

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[Having a dickens of a time finding that article about the kid who (purposefully) started a new life with only $25 and ended up with a job, a truck, and an apartment in a few months.]

Maybe just because I'm young, but I'm not scared of losing it all. Resetting to $0 wouldn't kill me. It would suck, don't get me wrong! But I have the time and energy to try again.

I DO FEAR losing more than I have. Negative net worth is not a part of my backup plans.
 

taichijedi

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"It is far better to have walked the wrong path then it is to have wasted the time standing still." --Chinese Proverb
 

unicon

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Thanks for the understanding! As Rk say teaching is learning. The response was to someone way off point. To produce something is to generate friction. It is amazing sometimes the resistance we have to the truth in things.

Health is definitely a fear as stated. I no longer fear legal I am still attempting to cure it, box it in, put a framework around it, it has cost alot because of the friction involved. The system is - seems to be the biggest dilema. It is adversarial as opposed to consensus based. Comes from the word adversary, meaning devil. The biggest fear is losing freedom.
 

Jill

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I've been thinking about this thread since it first came out, and discussing it with my husband. I don't really have any primary fears about making a bad deal / investment, because I know we have enough buffer in our monthly income to cover a "multitude of sins". So the fear is really secondary. Since my share of the family income is based on contract work, I fear that at some point that market could suddenly run cold, then we would go instantly from a position of excess, to a position of negative cash flow almost overnight.

So this makes me analyze the deals I'm looking at with an even sharper eye. This effects my decision process in subtle ways. For instance, I want to get the FICO just 20 points higher to help ensure the best possible interest rates = one to two more months. I want to save another $xx in my rainy day fund, just in case we need to dip into that for household expenses for a while = another months or two. Then, I've "wasted" 3 or 4 months, and fear that I will now rush into that deal without sufficient due diligence, etc, etc, because reading this forum reminds me every day how very little I know about real estate investment (which is the direction I am interested in).

I mitigate these risk-based fears by working on ways to cut back on expenses, keeping my resume current, and simply by knowing that I could always do the ebay thing to stay afloat.

So I'm not being paralyzed by them. But they're always in the back of my mind when I run a Q&D analysis of something. eg. What if the RE market here tanks at the same time my industry goes flat, and I can't find another gig? How long could we afford to negative-cash flow? I'm constantly running "worst-case" scenarios.
 

mtnman

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Some great stuff in here! Any other threads on fear of success/failure that I may have missed or could be merged?
 

fanocks2003

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What do you most fear financially?

-Not being able to pay what I owe. Being illiquid. There is not anything worse than sitting there, not recieving the cash customers owe your business and then falling short of paying salaries and other business related expenses. A real nightmare situation.

I can't say I am afraid of lawsuits. I hide my wealth in a private foundation and I stealth the ownership of that foundation (even though I don't really need to. But better to be extremely safe than sorry). I do pay taxes before transfering the money over to the foundation (of course):smxB:.

"Own nothing, control everything" was the theme right:smxB:?

If there is nothing to take in a law suit, then why waste energy on doing a law suit? A losing proposition.

How do you overcome that fear?

-By hiding in the shadows. Do your best to be a "ghost". But don't fool the goverment (that is the only golden rule to follow).
-Try everything you can to escape personal responsibility before things go terribly wrong (because they will. It is a question of when, not if). Protect yourself.
 

rcardin

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Financially nothing to fear. My wife and I came from living in a trailer park in 1998 (while graduating form college) to owning 2 homes in 2006.
We sat down when I first found this site and said "ok what is the worst case scenario?" Broke and living in a trailer park was all we could come up with. Been there done that. Once we made this realization it opened our minds to all new thinking. The next 3 years should be very interesting for us.

We were just as happy then as we are now with a lot less stress.
Would it suck to go back? YEP
Could we do it for a couple of years and come back? YEP
 

SaraK

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What do you most fear financially?
How do you overcome that fear?
Since I have kids, my greatest fear (and I think my husband's) is not being able to provide for them, so that is why our plan involves always keeping several months living expenses in the bank.

My husband thinks we should just earn big salaries, work our butts off for the next 10 years at our jobs and save it up and invest it in safe investments (like an index fund) then retire off of the interest once we have a million or so in the bank. My fear with this is that is takes so long and it doesn't involve learning any additional wealth-building skills... what happens if it doesn't work out? We will be back at square one with a lot less time and no alternate skill set. How interesting that the same idea can make my husband feel secure but it scares me.
 

JScott

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My husband thinks we should just earn big salaries, work our butts off for the next 10 years at our jobs and save it up and invest it in safe investments (like an index fund) then retire off of the interest once we have a million or so in the bank.
Now that I'm officially job-less, and am a lot more in-tune with long-term cash and income needs, I've started to realize exactly how little $1M really is. While you think you can live off the interest of $1M, keep in mind that at today's rates (3% guaranteed and maybe 7-8% more aggressive investments), that's only $30-80K/year before taxes, and with inflation, in 10 years that will be even less.

I'm not saying that many people couldn't live off that amount, but I think for a lot of people (definitely myself and probably for most people on this forum), it's not enough.

You should have your husband do the math on $1M in the bank, no income, lots of free time, and two kids (who presumably plan to go to college)...perhaps that will incent him to get a bit more creative and aggressive in his investments...
 

White8

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Now that I'm officially job-less, and am a lot more in-tune with long-term cash and income needs, I've started to realize exactly how little $1M really is. While you think you can live off the interest of $1M, keep in mind that at today's rates (3% guaranteed and maybe 7-8% more aggressive investments), that's only $30-80K/year before taxes, and with inflation, in 10 years that will be even less.

I'm not saying that many people couldn't live off that amount, but I think for a lot of people (definitely myself and probably for most people on this forum), it's not enough.

You should have your husband do the math on $1M in the bank, no income, lots of free time, and two kids (who presumably plan to go to college)...perhaps that will incent him to get a bit more creative and aggressive in his investments...
There is always a certain amount of fear for me in any investment and it basically boils down to the fear of losing what I have. Some fear is not necessarily a bad thing as it should make an investor thoroughly check out an investment and back away if there are problems. Someone with no fear will either hit it big, or lose it all.

Another fear for me is retiring at any age. I grew up in a workaholic family and that's exactly what I am. To be honest, vacation bore me and I don't quite know what to do with myself when there isn't some sort or work to do. I also don't like the idea of a reduction in income.

Ask JScott mentioned, $1 million isn't much anymore. My Dad once mentioned that in the early '70's he thought that if he had $250k to invest in safe investments like index funds he could retire. Obviously $250k is nothing today.
 

Redshft

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Nov 5, 2007
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Here are some inspirational quotes on fear that I think can be helpful to many. :)
Remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.


People living deeply have no fear of death.
Anais Nin



When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
Bertrand Russell



Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.
Karl Augustus Menninger



Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
James Stephens



I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert



Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.
Unknown



I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White



Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.
Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture



Where no hope is left, is left no fear.
Milton



Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.
Japanese Proverb



Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
Helen Keller



You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
Eric Hoffer



If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Marcus Aurelius



When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest.
Henry David Thoreau



You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt



In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson



The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
H. P. Lovecraft



Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie



Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.
Virgil Thomson



The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
Gandhi



Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Unknown
One more to add to that, which is one of my favorite quotes...

Fear has the ability to end passion...
Takahiro Ueno
 
OP
OP
AroundTheWorld

AroundTheWorld

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I am reading the book, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose"

As I read, I began to realize that whenever I feel fear, it is a fear of loss....

Of losing what?

Material possessions.

The first few chapters in the book talk about realizing that when we are young, we come to think of our possessions as a part of who we are - - - or that a part of us is in those possessions.

So... maybe if I can come to realize that there is not a part of me in my possessions and that my possessions are not a part of who I am... maybe then... the fear will go away.
 

Russ H

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Big stuff here, ATW.

I realize that Your Money or Your Life was not written/pallatable to most on these forums, but this was one of the HUGE take-aways I had from YMOYL when I first read it.

I had really become an "accumulator" (to make up for not having anything that was "mine" as a kid). In just a few short years as an adult, I bought TONS of stuff. And 99.99% of it, I never used.

But I was too afraid to give it up.

This lead to some rather big "AHA's" for me . . .

(more to come)

-Russ H.
 

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