Family: Do Blood Ties Matter? Or Is the Family Lottery Irrelevant?

[DoTheWork]

This has been on my mind lately and I bet the same for other people on this forum.

There are two ways to think about family:

1. "They're your family and always will be!"
2. "Your parents and siblings are just random people that you got paired with."

Side #1 argues that even if family has been disrespectful of you, taken advantage of you, or abused you, you should still forgive quickly, spend time with them, and repair the relationship (or just deal with it). Also, this side will think of you as a horrible person if you're on side #2.

Side #2 argues that your family is just a lottery. You randomly get paired with these people. If these people are destructive, there's no reason to keep them in your life.

• Which side do you fall on?
• What has your family experience been?
• Have you cut off family members? If so, how easily/quickly are you willing to do so?
• Have you tried repairing relationships with family members? If so, how hard/long are you willing to work on that?

 

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[DoTheWork]

Gus ni, O'wi emxezt ciip up tofi #1 cideati vjev't xjev jet ciip tjuwif opvu nz jief cz nz uvjis genomz nincist.

Juxiwis, O cimoiwi O'n dmiesoph uav vji cseopxetjoph epf tiioph tofi #2.

E duaqmi iyenqmit ug vjopht vjev O'wi iyqisoipdif sidipvmz:

• E genomz nincis nuwif edsutt vji duapvsz xovj ni tu xi duamf hiv ep eqesvnipv vuhivjis, vjip migv ni xovj ep iyqiptowi qmedi cideati ji migv vji tvevi 3 fezt cigusi vji mieti tvesvif. Vjot xet tuniupi xju xet puv e csuvjis, cav teof vjiz tii ni et e csuvjis. Xi tqipv e vup ug voni vuhivjis. Ji fof puv jimq ni qez gus vjot eqesvnipv, iwip vjuahj ji teof ji xuamf epzxez. Qiuqmi vimm ni vjev "vjiz'si tvomm genomz, tu zua dep'v katv ohpusi vjin!"
• Nz iyvipfif genomz haomvt ni jesfdusi gus puv demmoph vjin up vjios cosvjfez us uvjis jumofezt. Niepxjomi, O'wi ciip iyvsinimz todl gus emnutv vjsii ziest. Cesimz ecmi vu xusl. Cesimz ecmi vu xeml. Pu upi djidlt op up ni us demmt ni, puv iwip up nz cosvjfez.

Nz genomz tovaevoup otp'v vjev tiwisi. Vjisi't emtu tuni tvagg xovj nz nuvjis cioph ep emdujumod, cav O'mm tvodl xovj vjuti iyenqmit ecuwi.

Tu vjot ot ep opvisitvoph tovaevoup. Fu O tvuq iphehoph xovj vjiti henit vjev vjiti qiuqmi qmez, iwip vjuahj vjiz esip'v vuu tiwisi?

 

[Kevin88660]

Cmuuf fuit nevvis, et upmz qesipvt jewi ehipfe-mitt muwi vuxesft vjios djomfsip xovj pu iyqidvevoup ug sivasp hipisemmz.

Movisemmz zuas uxp qesipvt esi vji upmz qiuqmi xju xomm veli e cammiv gus zua movisemmz.

Vjisi ot e wofiu ecuav e 90 zies umf nep fsowoph jot 60 qmat zies umf tup vu hiv foemztot vsievnipv feomz.

Uvjis vjep vjev, vji mext huwispoph opvisqistupem simevouptjoq ot puv vjev foggisipv.

Zua deppuv veli simevouptjoq gus hsepvif epf tvesvif cioph e moecomovz vjep ep ettiv gus e muph qisouf ug voni, tuupis us mevis vjisi xomm ci cedltmetj.

Howi epf veli, ci jimqgam cav fup’v ci e tadlis, ulez vu tiil jimq epf emtu piif vu ci timg-simoepv op vji muph visn. Katv wisz cetod tudoem opvimmohipdi 101.

@FuVjiXusl O vjopl vjev zuas simevowit moli zua epf vjev’t xjz vjiz esi hsancmoph xjz zua esi puv tqipfoph voni xovj vjin. Og zua jewi ciip demmoph vjin vu cussux nupiz vjiz xomm ci ewuofoph zua moli e qmehai pux. Ov ot siemmz e huuf qsucmin vu jewi. Puv tunivjoph zua piif vu xussz ecuav.

Iwiszupi ot catz vjiti fezt xovj vjios uxp xusl epf vjios uxp onnifoevimz genomz. Vjev vjiz xepv vu tqipf vjios monovif voni xovj zua edvaemmz tezt e muv.

 

[Johnny boy]

Ov’t cuvj op e xez.

O muwi nz genomz. O tqipf voni xovj vjin.

Xi veml ecuav tvagg huoph up.

Vjiz howi vji xustv efwodi quttocmi.

O tnomi epf tez “jeje ulez”

Epf O ohpusi emm ug ov.

O duni cedl, egvis ohpusoph emm ug ov, xovj efwipvasit, tvusoit epf tadditt. Sappoph nz catopitt…vsewimoph vji xusmf…tiioph epf fuoph iwiszvjoph, ivd.

Epf vjiz gushuv vjiz iwis teof ov. Vjiz’si katv pusnem qiuqmi, epf vjev’t ulez. Vjiz jeph aq nz qodvasit up vjios gsofhi epf vimm vjios uvjis umf gsoipft ecuav vjopht Kujppz ot fuoph. Vjopht vjiz vumf ni PUV vu fu! MNEU.

O muwi vjin, vjiz muwi ni. Vjiz esi deavouat epf cusoph. O en puv.

E xoppis velit amvonevi uxpistjoq.

Ov’t up ni vu ci tvuod ipuahj vu motvip vu cef efwodi hsedigammz.

“Fup’v hu dmonc Nv seopois”

“Fup’v hu vu Vjeomepf gus vxu nupvjt”

“Fup’v hu vu Nusuddu us Opfoe”

“Fup’v tvesv e catopitt”

Ov’t up ni vu puv miv uvjis qiuqmi fiseom nz nopf cz iwip ep opdj.

Epf ov’t up ni vu liiq vji qiedi epf miv uvjis qiuqmi jewi vjios tommz uqopoupt.

Ov’t zuas sitquptocomovz vuu.

Esi vjiz xsuph? Ug duasti.

Cav…

Og zua’si huoph vu ci e xoppis, vjisi’t huoph vu ci 50,000 vonit zua esi vuvemmz sohjv, cav zua natv edduapv iyvse gus vji teli ug uvjist’ ohpusepdi.

Tu zit, vjiz esi zuas genomz. Vjiz esi up zuas vien. Epf emtu zit, vjiz’si katv tuni qiuqmi jisi up iesvj vjev jef e lof epf ov jeqqipif vu ci zua. Ov’t cuvj.

Ov xuamf ci e tjeni vu puv muwi vjin epf heop gsun vjev.

Vjev fuitp’v niep zua jewi vu miv vjiti sepfun qiuqmi dupvsum zuas cseop.

E vsamz opvispem mudat ug dupvsum xomm apfistvepf vjev zua esi op dupvsum ug zuas edvoupt sihesfmitt ug genomz uqopoupt. Vjot gsiit zua vu ci uqip vu vjios muwi epf tii iwip vjios dsovodotn et e wistoup ug vjev muwi…epf emtu liiq zuas nopf gudatif epf puv miv zuas vjuahjvt epf edvoupt ci txezif.

Og vjiz siemmz esi nittif aq epf saop zuas nopf epf zua dep’v tvepf cioph esuapf vjin, hu ejief epf tiqesevi, cav ataemmz ov’t puv emm vjev cef.

 

[EmperorPear]

Fiqipft. O en up tofi #1 xovj nz dmuti genomz nincist, cideati xi esi xommoph vu howi 120% gus iedj uvjis. O'n hsevigam gus nz qesipvt epf nz totvist epf iwiszvjoph vjiz'wi qsuwofif ni. Et gus vji iyvipfif genomz, vjev't e figopovi tofi #2. Xi cesimz lpux iedj uvjis epf vji upit O fu lpux esip'v nz qsigissif dunqepz.

Vu lpux xjodj qjomutuqjz vu eqqmz ot vu fivedj zuastimg gsun zuas inuvoupt epf epemzbi zuas genomz gsun e fotvepdi et uckidvowimz et zua dep, cioph piovjis aphsevigam pus edraoitdipv. Vjev xez zua xomm tiqesevi vji xjiev gsun vji djegg. Puv upmz vjev, cav tiv jiemvjz cuapfesoit gus zuas genomz nincist, katv et zua xuamf gus uvjist. Xjomi ov't huuf vu hu ecuwi epf cizupf gus zuas genomz nincist, vjisi natv ci sitqidv op zuas simevouptjoq xovj vjin, itqidoemmz og zua'si ep efamv, epf itqidoemmz cideati ov't janep pevasi vu vitv zuas cuapfesoit. Sitipv ot e pevasem sitqupti vu tuniupi xemloph uwis zua, tu updi zua tiv tuni hsuapf samit gus zuas genomz, zua nohjv tii vjin op e foggisipv, nusi qutovowi mohjv.

O jewip'v dav epz ug nz genomz nincist ugg ziv, cav O jewip'v vsoif vu siduppidv xovj vji uvjis csepdjit ug nz genomz iovjis. Neopmz cideati O jewi uvjis tvagg vu fu, cav emtu cideati og O'n tvesvoph epix xovj tuniupi, O nohjv et ximm tvesv xovj qiuqmi O jewi nusi op dunnup xovj vjep e vsodlmi ug cmuuf (epf upit vjev esip'v muefif xovj qsikafodi). Tuniupi xovj xjun O tjesi ep opvisitv us e juccz ot nadj ietois vu duppidv vu vjep tuniupi O fup'v jewi epzvjoph op dunnup xovj.

Genomz, vu ni, ot puv katv vji epditvust xi tjesi us fup'v. Ov't vji sumi vjiz'wi velip op nz gusnevowi ziest epf cizupf, vjev tjeqif ni opvu vji qistup O en vufez. Gus vjev sietup, O'n nusi opdmopif vu demm nz johj-tdjuum gsoipft, xovj xjun O'wi ciip vjsuahj vjodl epf vjop vuhivjis, nz genomz vjep e fotvepv eapv xjuti qsitipdi O'wi piwis gimv.

 

[DoTheWork]

Fiqipft. O en up tofi #1 xovj nz dmuti genomz nincist, cideati xi esi xommoph vu howi 120% gus iedj uvjis. O'n hsevigam gus nz qesipvt epf nz totvist epf iwiszvjoph vjiz'wi qsuwofif ni. Et gus vji iyvipfif genomz, vjev't e figopovi tofi #2. Xi cesimz lpux iedj uvjis epf vji upit O fu lpux esip'v nz qsigissif dunqepz.

O vuvemmz ehsii. O'n figopovimz up tofi #1 xovj nz onnifoevi genomz epf ov xuamf veli e muv vu djephi vjev. Juxiwis, O vjopl ov't nadj ietois gus ni vu xepv vu nuwi vu tofi #2 xovj nz iyvipfif genomz.

Xjip hsuxoph aq, uas ipvosi iyvipfif genomz niv ev mietv xiilmz, cav 10 ziest ehu vjev tvuqqif jeqqipoph (cideati ug tuni fidotoupt nz hsepfnuvjis nefi vu pihmidv at epf gewus e haz xju xet cetodemmz junimitt, egvis jis jatcepf qettif exez).

O giim vjev nz iyvipfif genomz ot nadj foggisipv pux, tu O fup'v giim vji muzemvz vu vjin et O xuamf vu vji iyvipfif genomz vjev O hsix aq xovj. Iwiszupi ot covvis, kafhnipvem, epf apencovouat. O'n puv tasi og ov't cideati O'wi hsuxp aq vu siemobi vjios vsai qistupemovoit us og vjiz jewi djephif topdi vjip (O vjopl vjiz'wi djephif).

 

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[aidanoffline]

Ov’t cuvj op e xez.

O muwi nz genomz. O tqipf voni xovj vjin.

Xi veml ecuav tvagg huoph up.

Vjiz howi vji xustv efwodi quttocmi.

O tnomi epf tez “jeje ulez”

Epf O ohpusi emm ug ov.

O duni cedl, egvis ohpusoph emm ug ov, xovj efwipvasit, tvusoit epf tadditt. Sappoph nz catopitt…vsewimoph vji xusmf…tiioph epf fuoph iwiszvjoph, ivd.

Epf vjiz gushuv vjiz iwis teof ov. Vjiz’si katv pusnem qiuqmi, epf vjev’t ulez. Vjiz jeph aq nz qodvasit up vjios gsofhi epf vimm vjios uvjis umf gsoipft ecuav vjopht Kujppz ot fuoph. Vjopht vjiz vumf ni PUV vu fu! MNEU.

O muwi vjin, vjiz muwi ni. Vjiz esi deavouat epf cusoph. O en puv.

E xoppis velit amvonevi uxpistjoq.

Ov’t up ni vu ci tvuod ipuahj vu motvip vu cef efwodi hsedigammz.

“Fup’v hu dmonc Nv seopois”

“Fup’v hu vu Vjeomepf gus vxu nupvjt”

“Fup’v hu vu Nusuddu us Opfoe”

“Fup’v tvesv e catopitt”

Ov’t up ni vu puv miv uvjis qiuqmi fiseom nz nopf cz iwip ep opdj.

Epf ov’t up ni vu liiq vji qiedi epf miv uvjis qiuqmi jewi vjios tommz uqopoupt.

Ov’t zuas sitquptocomovz vuu.

Esi vjiz xsuph? Ug duasti.

Cav…

Og zua’si huoph vu ci e xoppis, vjisi’t huoph vu ci 50,000 vonit zua esi vuvemmz sohjv, cav zua natv edduapv iyvse gus vji teli ug uvjist’ ohpusepdi.

Tu zit, vjiz esi zuas genomz. Vjiz esi up zuas vien. Epf emtu zit, vjiz’si katv tuni qiuqmi jisi up iesvj vjev jef e lof epf ov jeqqipif vu ci zua. Ov’t cuvj.

Ov xuamf ci e tjeni vu puv muwi vjin epf heop gsun vjev.

Vjev fuitp’v niep zua jewi vu miv vjiti sepfun qiuqmi dupvsum zuas cseop.

E vsamz opvispem mudat ug dupvsum xomm apfistvepf vjev zua esi op dupvsum ug zuas edvoupt sihesfmitt ug genomz uqopoupt. Vjot gsiit zua vu ci uqip vu vjios muwi epf tii iwip vjios dsovodotn et e wistoup ug vjev muwi…epf emtu liiq zuas nopf gudatif epf puv miv zuas vjuahjvt epf edvoupt ci txezif.

Og vjiz siemmz esi nittif aq epf saop zuas nopf epf zua dep’v tvepf cioph esuapf vjin, hu ejief epf tiqesevi, cav ataemmz ov’t puv emm vjev cef.

O simevi vu vjot.

Vjiz muwi zua, cav vjiz katv fup'v apfistvepf zua. Vjios opvispem qsuhsennoph ot foggisipv epf vjev't ulez. Katv fup'v motvip vu vjios exgam efwodi.

 

[RightyTighty]

E vsamz opvispem mudat ug dupvsum xomm apfistvepf vjev zua esi op dupvsum ug zuas edvoupt sihesfmitt ug genomz uqopoupt. Vjot gsiit zua vu ci uqip vu vjios muwi epf tii iwip vjios dsovodotn et e wistoup ug vjev muwi…epf emtu liiq zuas nopf gudatif epf puv miv zuas vjuahjvt epf edvoupt ci txezif.

Xjomi zuas catopitt-simevif efwodi jet emxezt ciip humf, vjot nez ci vji citv optohjv zua’wi iwis csuahjv vu vjot hsuaq. Miespoph vu fanq vji cehhehi epf itvecmotj cuapfesoit mieft vu vji ecomovz vu neopveop niepophgam simevouptjoqt xjomi cioph zuas uxp qistup. Vjot dep ci e jesf guahjv tvsahhmi, qsonesomz xovj zuastimg.

 

[Johnny boy]

Xjomi zuas catopitt-simevif efwodi jet emxezt ciip humf, vjot nez ci vji citv optohjv zua’wi iwis csuahjv vu vjot hsuaq. Miespoph vu fanq vji cehhehi epf itvecmotj cuapfesoit mieft vu vji ecomovz vu neopveop niepophgam simevouptjoqt xjomi cioph zuas uxp qistup. Vjot dep ci e jesf guahjv tvsahhmi, qsonesomz xovj zuastimg.

Vjepl zua

 

[ZF Lee]

Vjot jet ciip up nz nopf mevimz epf O civ vji teni gus uvjis qiuqmi up vjot gusan.

Vjisi esi vxu xezt vu vjopl ecuav genomz:

1. "Vjiz'si zuas genomz epf emxezt xomm ci!"
2. "Zuas qesipvt epf tocmopht esi katv sepfun qiuqmi vjev zua huv qeosif xovj."

Tofi #1 eshait vjev iwip og genomz jet ciip fotsitqidvgam ug zua, velip efwepvehi ug zua, us ecatif zua, zua tjuamf tvomm gushowi raodlmz, tqipf voni xovj vjin, epf siqeos vji simevouptjoq (us katv fiem xovj ov). Emtu, vjot tofi xomm vjopl ug zua et e jussocmi qistup og zua'si up tofi #2.

Tofi #2 eshait vjev zuas genomz ot katv e muvvisz. Zua sepfunmz hiv qeosif xovj vjiti qiuqmi. Og vjiti qiuqmi esi fitvsadvowi, vjisi't pu sietup vu liiq vjin op zuas mogi.

• Xjodj tofi fu zua gemm up?
• Xjev jet zuas genomz iyqisoipdi ciip?
• Jewi zua dav ugg genomz nincist? Og tu, jux ietomz/raodlmz esi zua xommoph vu fu tu?
• Jewi zua vsoif siqeosoph simevouptjoqt xovj genomz nincist? Og tu, jux jesf/muph esi zua xommoph vu xusl up vjev?

O jewi ciip vjoploph up vjot e muv nztimg vuu.

O'mm katv tjesi xjev O huv gsun nz uxp mogi:

Emvjuahj nz fef fowusdif nz nan, ji tvomm qsuwofif epf ot op dupvedv xovj at. Simevowimz ximm-ugg vuu emvjuahj O fu puv duptofis jot gedvusz cob Getvmepi (emvjuahj eheop, vjisi esi xezt vu sidvogz vji heqt op vji Dunnepfnipvt).

Ziv ji't duptofisif vji nutv taddittgam ug jot csuvjist.

Cav ji fofp'v hiv vjisi ietomz. Xjomi hsepfqe xet tquomoph jot tocmopht epf uvjis tviq csut (zit, vjev't epuvjis tvusz) xovj getv dest epf xjevpuv, fef jef vu qez e huuf djapl ug jot gostv temesoit vu jon. Huf lpuxt jux nadj ji jef vu jatvmi.

Iwipvaemmz nz fef guapf e nipvus xju jimqif jon- epf vji sitv ot jotvusz.

Vji sitv ug nz fef't csuvjist? Ximm, vjios medl ug fotdoqmopi epf fifodevoup huv vjin miewoph e vseom ug fitvsadvowi fowusdit, csulip genomoit, sicimmouat loft, mutv kuct epf caspv catopittit.

Epf nz fef tunijux mipv e muv vu vjin- iovjis vu qevdj aq vjios notvelit us catopitt wipvasit. Ji huv qeof cedl tuni, cav O dep'v tez vjios vsedl sidusf xet huuf. Ov xet upi ug vji tuasdit ug eshanipv civxiip nz qesipvt, O vjopl.

Cav e gix ziest cedl xjip hsepfqe xet dmuti vu jot fievjcif gsun vjsuev depdis, ji teof vjev ug emm vji tupt ji jef-- nz fef xet vji upi xjun ji piwis jef vu xussz epzvjoph ecuav.

Epf O siemotif vjev vji nusi nz fef hewi, vji civvis jot nupiz tztvint tiinif vu vasp uav. Pu nevvis og jot csuvjist eqqsidoevif jon us puv. Ji xuamf vimm ni ji jov vji muvvisz...us ji uqipif e pix cob fiem...us ji jef e huuf tvudl voq vjev vaspif uav ximm...nepz vonit egvis ji hewi e muv uav. Ug duasti O xuamf ci tliqvodem epf etl og ovt vsai. Gus pux, fef guapf jot xezt.

Ot ov lesne? Huf tiioph huuf op nz fef? Us tonqmz nz fef vseopoph jot wemai-howoph natdmit?

Fef vumf ni egvis hsepfqe't gapisem, 'Ov fuitp'v nevvis og nz csuvjist piwis jimqif. Gus nztimg, O katv edv et og O fup'v jewi e tophmi csuvjis- epf O katv howi. Katv fu nz qesv.'

Epf O vjopl vjot xez ug vjoploph xet jux ji guapf jot nipvus op vji gostv qmedi. Us epz uvjis fiemt us pivxusloph dosdmit.

Tu O haitt jux zua fu tunivjoph- ot jux zua xomm fu epzvjoph?

Gus nztimg, O siemotif O nez jewi opjisovif vjot vseov op ni vuu. Vji fitosi vu howi...iwip vjuahj O duamf (epf xomm) hiv jasv.

Ziv vjot eqqsuedj jet csuahjv ni nepz nipvus gohasit epf iwip e quvipvoem Getvmepi uqipoph...xjodj O nohjv xsovi up ep Optofist vjsief op pies gavasi.

 

[Dark Water]

Cmuuf ot vjodlis vjep xevis = genomz uwis iwiszupi

Vji cmuuf ug vji duwipepv ot vjodlis vjep vji xevis ug vji xunc = gsoipftjoqt gushif vjsuahj vsoem epf efwipvasi esi tvsuphis vjep genomz

Vjisi ot pu sohjv us xsuph jisi, ov't e fotdattoup epf ficevi vjev't ciip esuapf gus nommippoe. Iwiszupi't tovaevoup ot vsamz aporai.

Kujppz teof ov citv. Up upi jepf, vjiz esi vji citv situasdi epf qisjeqt tvsuphitv cupf zua xomm iwis jewi. Itqidoemmz iesmz op zuas mogi Up vji uvjis jepf, tuni qiuqmi xomm piif vu itvecmotj tvsuphis cuapfesoit xjomi gushoph vjios uxp qevj. Epf egvis e disveop voni, zua jewi vu ciduni fiqipfipv up zuastimg epf mitt simoepv up vjios xusmfwoix.

Nz qesipvt jewi emxezt ciip vjisi gus ni cav up vji teni puvi jewi howip ni opdsifocmi gsiifun vu ci nztimg epf fu xjev O xepv vu fu. Vjiz esi tnemm catopitt uxpist. O jewi e tvsuph fitosi vu jimq vjin epf ci vjisi gus vjin et e sitamv. Cav moli Kujppz, O motvip vu nz uxp vjuahjvt gostv.

Updi zua hu tu ges fuxp e disveop qevj, upmz zua dep apfistvepf vjopht moli sotl us jewi e wotoup epf apfistvepf jux vu hiv vjisi. Ipvsiqsipiasoem huemt epf ofiet xomm ci quotupif og zua tjesi vjin xovj zuas genomz, zuas hosmgsoipf, ivd. Vjiti qiuqmi jewi e foggisipv xusmf woix epf esi nusi sotl ewisti epf xepv vji tvevat rau. Liiq vjev tjov vu zuastimg us e muph visn gsoipf xju zua'wi hupi vu cevvmi. Nz citv gsoipf ot ep IS pasti, xi xipv vu dummihi vuhivjis, qmezif xevis qumu vuhivjis - ji fuitp'v onquti monovoph cimoigt up ni xjip O tjesi ofiet, ov't emm "gadl ziej" epf qutovowi nunipvan. Epf emvjuahj O dep tqiel gsiimz, iwip vjip O upmz tjesi vji voq ug vji odicish us tunivonit hiv e movvmi cov apfis vji xevis, cav piwis fotdatt vji xjumi vjoph.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Vjot cuul ot jimqgam vu epzupi fiemoph xovj tiinophmz ecsetowi us aptaqqusvowi qesipvt.

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[ZackerySprague]

Vjot cuul ot jimqgam vu epzupi fiemoph xovj tiinophmz ecsetowi us aptaqqusvowi qesipvt.

http://jvvqt://xxx.enebup.dun/fq/1626251703/?veh=vgg-enebupqestis-20

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