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Extreme inconsistency. Any ideas??

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999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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Hey guys,

For the last 1.5 years, I've been extremely inconsistent.

When I was trying to pursue ecommerce, I worked hard for 2 weeks, then I fell into a slump for 1 week(where I watched movies, youtube, etc., 24/7), get back to work, and the cycle kept repeating.

When I tried to start a website, I'd work hard for a week, then fall into a slump for a week, then I'd start working again and this cycle kept repeating.

Recently I decided to try Youtube out. I figured that since I used to watch so much youtube and it's quite fun, I'd take this as an opportunity to launch and grow my own channel, monetize it and make a lot of $(through my research and observations I've seen others making significant money with YT).

I figured I could work really hard at this since it was the most fun. But here's what my life has looked like:
- work hard for 1 week.
- fall into a slump for 4 days.
- work hard another 3-4 days.
- fall into a slump for 4 days again.

I'm honestly so confused. I have no idea why I'm like this. I mean, I have goals that I really want to achieve yet I can't get over this extreme inconsistency. It's gotten to the point where after I have one bad day, I'd lay in bed staring at my phone until 7am and basically passing out, then waking up at 2pm.

I have tried decreasing my work hours, going to the gym 5x a week, pursuing different projects, taking a break once a week yet nothing changes.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? If so how did you overcome it?
 

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Last edited:

999michaelh

Contributor
Mar 20, 2021
59
41
45
Hey guys,

For the last 1.5 years, I've been extremely inconsistent.

When I was trying to pursue ecommerce, I worked hard for 2 weeks, then I fell into a slump for 1 week(where I watched movies, youtube, etc., 24/7), get back to work, and the cycle kept repeating.

When I tried to start a website, I'd work hard for a week, then fall into a slump for a week, then I'd start working again and this cycle kept repeating.

Recently I decided to try Youtube out. I figured that since I used to watch so much youtube and it's quite fun, I'd take this as an opportunity to launch and grow my own channel, monetize it and make a lot of $(through my research and observations I've seen others making significant money with YT).

I figured I could work really hard at this since it was the most fun. But here's what my life has looked like:
- work hard for 1 week.
- fall into a slump for 4 days.
- work hard another 3-4 days.
- fall into a slump for 4 days again.

I'm honestly so confused. I have no idea why I'm like this. I mean, I have goals that I really want to achieve yet I can't get over this extreme inconsistency. It's gotten to the point where after I have one bad day, I'd lay in bed staring at my phone until 7am and basically passing out, then waking up at 2pm.

I have tried decreasing my work hours, pursuing different projects, taking a break once a week yet I still struggle.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? If so how did you overcome it?
On the days where I work hard, I put in the hours, I'm very focused(I don't get distracted by social media or anything), I always aim to maximize my productivity, and in 3-4 days time I'm like a cripple, just laying in bed 24/7 staring at my phone, totally drained of all energy, not wanting to do anything at all. This continues for like 4 days before I pull myself out of it. It just boggles my mind how I can go from 100 -> 0 so fast.
 

999michaelh

Contributor
Mar 20, 2021
59
41
45
On the days where I work hard, I put in the hours, I'm very focused(I don't get distracted by social media or anything), I always aim to maximize my productivity, and in 3-4 days time I'm like a cripple, just laying in bed 24/7 staring at my phone, totally drained of all energy, not wanting to do anything at all. This continues for like 4 days before I pull myself out of it. It just boggles my mind how I can go from 100 -> 0 so fast.
Some context that may be helpful in understanding my inconsistency:
- I just graduated highschol in June 2020. Dropped out of uni in March 2021 in favor of pursuing my own projects.
- From grade 6-12 I had no life, staying in my room 24/7 watching youtube, movies, playing games, etc. Toxic friends, extreme social anxiety, was too afraid to venture out of my room. This is why I rely on youtube as a crutch when I have a bad day(I think).
- Although YT is the most fun project out of everything I've done, it pretty much always feels like a grind. I'd say I enjoy it maybe 10-20% of the time and the rest of the time I have to be disciplined to work through it.
--> I hear people say they 'wake up excited everyday' for work. I never feel "excited". So I'm wondering if I just haven't found the right project yet?
 
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OMJ

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Your post history suggests you're extremely consistent.
 

Antifragile

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Discipline = freedom

Small wins can help you grow as a person and develop better discipline long term.
Have you tried planning ahead? Using SMART goals? Accountability partners? We all go through phases, I’m wondering if yours are because you set unrealistic goals and then get disheartened when the going gets hard.
Good luck.
 

WJK

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It sounds to me like you don't have a working history. Did you go to school every day? How can you lay in bed most of the day? Where do you live? Who puts food on your table? How do you pay your bills? Who takes care of you? No, I don't understand. I get up and go to my office to take care of my businesses.
 

999michaelh

Contributor
Mar 20, 2021
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Discipline = freedom

Small wins can help you grow as a person and develop better discipline long term.
Have you tried planning ahead? Using SMART goals? Accountability partners? We all go through phases, I’m wondering if yours are because you set unrealistic goals and then get disheartened when the going gets hard.
Good luck.
Yup I understand this. On the days where I say I "work hard" I'm very disciplined. Then eventually after a bad day of work, I go home and shower then take a look at my phone. And before you know it, it's 7am... lol. And the next few days I'm basically a sloth.

In the past, through discipline alone, I have worked to the point where I felt like I couldn't think properly but obviously that wasn't helpful so I'll be adding more break days.

To answer your questions:
- I haven't really planned ahead. I set a goal of at least $30k per month by next year, and I made a goal of 1-2 youtube videos a day.
- I set SMART goals at the start of each day
- I don't have an accountability partner

I don't get discouraged at work. Literally, what happens is:
- I work hard for a week or two, eventually one day I feel a little bit tired/have a bad day at work
- That night, I pick up my phone after showering and it seems like all self control leaves my body, and I watch videos until 7am. Then I feel exhausted mentally and physically the next day, and the next few days are on autopilot, just me watching videos until 7am again and again.

I've tried to mitigate this by putting my phone and laptop in the garage and taking more breaks every week. I'll see how it goes.
 

999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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It sounds to me like you don't have a working history. Did you go to school every day? How can you lay in bed most of the day? Where do you live? Who puts food on your table? How do you pay your bills? Who takes care of you? No, I don't understand. I get up and go to my office to take care of my businesses.
No working history. I live at home with my parents. I dropped out of college(first year) and was going to move out and live alone so I'd have pressure to improve myself & succeed financially.

Plans didn't work out and I'm still living with my parents, but trying to make the best of it.

I can not work at all and not suffer, and I don't have any profitable businesses or employees to take care of. Ever since I finished high school there's been nothing holding me accountable to a normal work schedule, which has made it very easy for me to fall into these very frequent slumps every week or two.

Hopefully I'll overcome this though :/ this inconsistency is the biggest obstacle between me and my goals...
 

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First of all, great work for trying to figure this thing out. Most people live in a perpetual cycle of not being aware of their patterns and they just think 'this is who I am'. So you've already done the first step of identifying your problem.

Now, here are some questions to make you think & reflect. answer those and we can dive deeper into your situation
  • You consuming YouTube content and enjoying it doesn't mean you'll enjoy producing it. What made you decide to start your YouTube channel or the website before that? Were you genuinely interested in it or did it just look like a 'cool & easy opportunity'?
  • Why do you even want to be successful? Why not stay where you are?
  • 1-2 youtube videos a day seem waaay too overwhelming. Why not make 2-3 really good quality videos a week? I think YT is definitely about Quality over quantity.
  • What do you define 'working hard'? what's working hard for you?
  • Also, the thinking of moving out alone to pressure yourself to succeed financially is a terrible move, and it's coming from someone who did exactly the same. You have the best opportunity right now to take risks, have no consequences and live comfortably. You literally have everything else taken care for you - all you have to do is build your business. some people respond positively to pressure, you don't seem like you're one of them.

I wanna help you so lets dive deep haha
 

WJK

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No working history. I live at home with my parents. I dropped out of college(first year) and was going to move out and live alone so I'd have pressure to improve myself & succeed financially.

Plans didn't work out and I'm still living with my parents, but trying to make the best of it.

I can not work at all and not suffer, and I don't have any profitable businesses or employees to take care of. Ever since I finished high school there's been nothing holding me accountable to a normal work schedule, which has made it very easy for me to fall into these very frequent slumps every week or two.

Hopefully I'll overcome this though :/ this inconsistency is the biggest obstacle between me and my goals...
Making "the best of it"???? You lucky, lucky, lucky person to have the space and a chance to create a life for yourself! Or maybe you aren't so lucky. Maybe they are making your life too easy.

If you were my kid, I'd get you up VERY early every morning, have you pack a sack lunch, and I'd push out the door to go find a job. I'd give you a piece of paper and pencil to write who you saw and you talked to during the day. And I wouldn't let you back into the door until you debriefed me on your full day of job searching. I would accept NO excuses or half-stepping in order to let you come home at the end of the day. You would do it, or move out and move on. Immediately. Without even brushing your teeth or spending another night...

My standard is that it is my house, my bed you're sleeping in, my utilities, my food, and totally my choice. You are NOT an adult until you move out and provide for yourself. You could have an opinion in my house, but you would NOT have a vote. And I have total veto power. I know I sound tough, and I am. It's my job as a mother.

Since you have NOT been able to regulate yourself, I would play the tough parent to your little-kid-bad-habits. You are, by your age, an adult who has failed to thrive. Successful self-employed people are very self-regulated. I know. I have been self-employed and in business for 45 years... so far. I get up and do it everyday of my life. People who can't regulate themselves, need a boss to take that role in their lives -- until they learn how to do for themselves.

The whole reason for parenting to produce an independent, productive adult. (And by the way, I've raised two families over the years.) When we talk to the kids, the first thing out of their mouths is all about how well they are doing and what they are doing. Yes, they have problems and challenges, but everyone of them is working through those situations. We give advice and counsel -- but, it's up to them to make their decisions and then work out their own problems.
 

eramart

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Ok, I’ve read all your posts here, and I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you try yourself as an event organizer? Organizing parties, conferences, concerts - that kind of stuff. You should probably find an agency that will hire you, but if you learn fast, you can have your own agency with client base in a few years.
 

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Itizn

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I was exactly where you were one year ago.

What got me to the next level was putting myself in a position where failure is not an option. Doing that means different things depending on what type of person you are, and is also not an approach many would advise.

But let me tell you: I hate myself from one year ago, and love myself in present day. Do with that what you will.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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As an outsider who doesn't know you... it looks like you're just trying to chase money.

"I'll build an e-commerce store. People make money doing that."
"Oh wait, it looks like YouTubers make money. Why don't I try that."
"Hang on I can build websites and make money."

You haven't even settled on a product or service to sell and you're already trying to build a marketing channel that someone sold you on as a "business"

An e-commerce store is not a business. A suite of products that people want/need/desire that people would pay for and just-so-happens to have an e-commerce store to make it easy for people to buy... is a business.

A youtube channel is not a business. A service that you sell that just so happens to have videos on youtube that answers questions of potential clients... is a business. An entertainer who creates a lot of viewership of a particular audience in hopes of generating advertising dollars... is a business.

A website is not a business. Someone who has a product or service to sell and happens to have a website that showcases that thing (and advertises to get it seen)... is a business.
 

Private Witt

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I have slacker tendencies and electronic addictions but also served in the military, earned a masters, created a long work history and than launched many brands. You really need to find a way to develop discipline or you are going to waste away your entire life. Do what WJK said and get a job even if part time if couldnt hack full, you will get some structure and could save cash for your business. As for 30k a month YT earnings by next year, u are smoking crack. Not trying to stomp on your dreams but focus on being self supportive, develop skills, and work on your phone addiction before you become a video baller.
 

999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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Making "the best of it"???? You lucky, lucky, lucky person to have the space and a chance to create a life for yourself! Or maybe you aren't so lucky. Maybe they are making your life too easy.

If you were my kid, I'd get you up VERY early every morning, have you pack a sack lunch, and I'd push out the door to go find a job. I'd give you a piece of paper and pencil to write who you saw and you talked to during the day. And I wouldn't let you back into the door until you debriefed me on your full day of job searching. I would accept NO excuses or half-stepping in order to let you come home at the end of the day. You would do it, or move out and move on. Immediately. Without even brushing your teeth or spending another night...

My standard is that it is my house, my bed you're sleeping in, my utilities, my food, and totally my choice. You are NOT an adult until you move out and provide for yourself. You could have an opinion in my house, but you would NOT have a vote. And I have total veto power. I know I sound tough, and I am. It's my job as a mother.

Since you have NOT been able to regulate yourself, I would play the tough parent to your little-kid-bad-habits. You are, by your age, an adult who has failed to thrive. Successful self-employed people are very self-regulated. I know. I have been self-employed and in business for 45 years... so far. I get up and do it everyday of my life. People who can't regulate themselves, need a boss to take that role in their lives -- until they learn how to do for themselves.

The whole reason for parenting to produce an independent, productive adult. (And by the way, I've raised two families over the years.) When we talk to the kids, the first thing out of their mouths is all about how well they are doing and what they are doing. Yes, they have problems and challenges, but everyone of them is working through those situations. We give advice and counsel -- but, it's up to them to make their decisions and then work out their own problems.
I know it sounds weird when I say I'm trying to "make the best of my situation", but let me explain.

What happened was 4 months ago, I booked a plane ticket to Las Vegas from Hong Kong and left without telling my parents. I was gonna stay there and work my a$$ off, with whatever meagre savings I had, to succeed.

Doing this meant I'd be forced to succeed, even if I ended up not liking ecommerce, youtube, etc.
Prior to this my parents had never listened to me and I felt powerless: "No gap year!! Make sure you get good grades!! Go to university for 4 years even if you don't want to".

They kept saying stuff like that, making me depressed and unconfident, and eventually I got fed up and left. They caught me at the airport but ever since then the dynamic between me and my parents has shifted. They have no power over me anymore and they basically don't boss me around anymore since I'm staying with my parents VOLUNTARILY. I'm not saying this like I'm proud or anything, I'm just describing my current circumstances.

As a matter of fact, I would absolutely move out right now, live in a shitty apartment and eat ramen 24/7 if I didn't feel bad about leaving my parents. My parents are kind of clingy because I'm their favorite child(my mom has literally said this), and this would be the last time I'd ever live with them 24/7. I'd be "leaving the nest".

You are absolutely right when you say that they are "making my life too easy". I've lived a life of too much comfort: great living environment, great education, frequent high end meals, massive safety net, etc., which is why I wanted to move out, live alone, and grow out of necessity. I'm grateful I haven't had a really difficult life, but ultimately I'm stagnating despite my best efforts.

I have also considered getting a part time job for the structure it would provide, and maybe some extra $ that I may use for my business endeavors in the future. I'm still a little bit hesitant because in my mind, if I can have a structured work schedule on my own projects without needing a part time, I will have many more hours for my projects but correct me if I'm wrong :)
 
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999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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First of all, great work for trying to figure this thing out. Most people live in a perpetual cycle of not being aware of their patterns and they just think 'this is who I am'. So you've already done the first step of identifying your problem.

Now, here are some questions to make you think & reflect. answer those and we can dive deeper into your situation
  • You consuming YouTube content and enjoying it doesn't mean you'll enjoy producing it. What made you decide to start your YouTube channel or the website before that? Were you genuinely interested in it or did it just look like a 'cool & easy opportunity'?
  • Why do you even want to be successful? Why not stay where you are?
  • 1-2 youtube videos a day seem waaay too overwhelming. Why not make 2-3 really good quality videos a week? I think YT is definitely about Quality over quantity.
  • What do you define 'working hard'? what's working hard for you?
  • Also, the thinking of moving out alone to pressure yourself to succeed financially is a terrible move, and it's coming from someone who did exactly the same. You have the best opportunity right now to take risks, have no consequences and live comfortably. You literally have everything else taken care for you - all you have to do is build your business. some people respond positively to pressure, you don't seem like you're one of them.

I wanna help you so lets dive deep haha
Hey bro,

- To be fair I just want to make a lot of money to achieve my dream lifestyle, and I thought Youtube would be the most fun, simple, and easy method of making money. I know it's not as easy anymore but it's still the most fun/simple out of all the projects I've done.

- I'm focusing more on the quality of the videos now but I still think I can churn out at least 1 video a day. It's not easy, but I'm trying to do as much as possible so I can blow up the channel faster :)

- "Working hard" to me is trying to work as many productive hours as I can everyday, while taking minimal breaks. I've found that it's possible for me to do at least like 8hours a day for 7-10 days before my brain gets exhausted.

- What went wrong when you moved out?
 

999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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45
As an outsider who doesn't know you... it looks like you're just trying to chase money.

"I'll build an e-commerce store. People make money doing that."
"Oh wait, it looks like YouTubers make money. Why don't I try that."
"Hang on I can build websites and make money."

You haven't even settled on a product or service to sell and you're already trying to build a marketing channel that someone sold you on as a "business"

An e-commerce store is not a business. A suite of products that people want/need/desire that people would pay for and just-so-happens to have an e-commerce store to make it easy for people to buy... is a business.

A youtube channel is not a business. A service that you sell that just so happens to have videos on youtube that answers questions of potential clients... is a business. An entertainer who creates a lot of viewership of a particular audience in hopes of generating advertising dollars... is a business.

A website is not a business. Someone who has a product or service to sell and happens to have a website that showcases that thing (and advertises to get it seen)... is a business.
My bad, I guess I'm not "creating a business". I made an attempt at creating a service online but it wasn't for me.

I should've clarified what I meant when I said I was pursuing Youtube. I'll give you an example:
- A channel in my niche blew up from 0 subscribers to 700k in 3 months and made 40k revenue in one month.
- There's a method, it's called Cash Cow Youtube channels, where you create a network of many channels like this then hire a team to run it, which is how the money comes. I am not using Youtube as a marketing channel.
--> with experience and blackhat tricks it's possible to grow a viewership really fast.

You're also right that I'm chasing money so I can attain my dream lifestyle. I'm not sure if I have the right motivation.

This has always been an issue with me. I don't know if chasing money is a good goal or not, as some people have reached great heights with money as a motivator, whereas others say it's a bad motivator... and to be honest, I think it's the simplest motivator in existence(to achieve my dream lifestyle by making a lot of $)

Without "chasing money to achieve my dream life" as a motivator... I'd be totally lost again. I'd have no idea what I want to do in life which scares me. Like, would I need to spend 1-2 years exploring a bunch of different careers to see what sticks? I'd rather start & grind at something right now so that I'll see results soon, but maybe my mindset is wrong?
 

999michaelh

Contributor
Mar 20, 2021
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41
45
I was exactly where you were one year ago.

What got me to the next level was putting myself in a position where failure is not an option. Doing that means different things depending on what type of person you are, and is also not an approach many would advise.

But let me tell you: I hate myself from one year ago, and love myself in present day. Do with that what you will.
Can you tell me what you did specifically that made failure not an option? For me I was planning on moving out with small savings and living alone, but that plan didn't work out.

Ok, I’ve read all your posts here, and I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you try yourself as an event organizer? Organizing parties, conferences, concerts - that kind of stuff. You should probably find an agency that will hire you, but if you learn fast, you can have your own agency with client base in a few years.
Seems like a neat idea. Could you explain why you think event organizing would be good for me?

I have slacker tendencies and electronic addictions but also served in the military, earned a masters, created a long work history and than launched many brands. You really need to find a way to develop discipline or you are going to waste away your entire life. Do what WJK said and get a job even if part time if couldnt hack full, you will get some structure and could save cash for your business. As for 30k a month YT earnings by next year, u are smoking crack. Not trying to stomp on your dreams but focus on being self supportive, develop skills, and work on your phone addiction before you become a video baller.
I don't know if I'm naturally a slacker since I don't like when I waste time, but I grew up on video games and youtube so maybe it's my environment that shaped me.

I'm also not sure if discipline is the main problem. As I said, on regular days I can work and resist distractions no problemo, but at night one bad day, I just pick up my phone and it's like all energy leaves my body and I'm just stuck. I'm putting all my technology in the garage from now on so I won't pick up my phone automatically. Hopefully that works.

I'm considering getting a part time job. I'm a bit hesitant, because if I can get a structured work schedule w/o a part time, I'd have more hours to spend on personal projects. Will think more about this.

Appreciate your help man.
 
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The problem is that you are 18-20 years old with the mindset of a 15/16 year old.

Your parents stopped you at the airport? They can't stop you doing anything once you are an adult. You stopped yourself.

"They can't boss me around anymore"... dude

"I don't wanna leave my parents"

Man, you have extreme comfort in your situation.. why would you want to leave? You get everything provided and have to contribute nothing. You can keep hitting the cheap dopamine because there is no consequence.

If I was you, I'd be embarrassed by what your parents think of you also. The reason they are trying to stop you doing all of this stuff is they don't trust that you can take care of yourself.

A lot of this might sound harsh but I went through the same situation. Parents didn't want me going to bars, driving, moving out, leaving college, starting a business... anything with risk. You know what though.. I don't blame them.. I was lazy AF when I was in high school and engaged in pretty much the same sorta stuff as you. Gaming, sport.. I was also social which you maybe hadn't been as much.. but the point still stands.

I went and done all of these things anyways. It created a lot of turmoil in my relationship with my parents at the time.

4-5 years later I have a good cashflowing business, I have an apartment in the city, I travel a few times every year (they still worry when I travel :D ) and guess what I even went back to do night college online during C0VlD to finish out my degree in a different but similar field.

My relationship is as good as it's ever been with my parents. They love to see me doing well.

Scapegoating your parents for your problems is the biggest mindset challenge you have to overcome. You aren't 15 anymore. Your life is dictated by the choices YOU make.

Just as a follow up too.. I still struggle at times. Once you get off the breadline, have consistent cashflow and savings built up, complacency can creep back in. I could slack off for months and not have it effect my immediate living situation but when you are a business owner nobody is going to fire you or give out if you don't get up in the morning... but 6 months down the road you are going to start losing clients, money and you'll be in a terrible situation.
 

Itizn

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Something along these lines. Moved far away where there weren't any reasonable job opportunities, so I had to be resourceful and act swiftly. You are young, so you likely don't have the life experience to know ways to "survive" long, rough, cash-less periods.

For me I was planning on moving out with small savings and living alone, but that plan didn't work out.
 

WJK

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I know it sounds weird when I say I'm trying to "make the best of my situation", but let me explain.

What happened was 4 months ago, I booked a plane ticket to Las Vegas from Hong Kong and left without telling my parents. I was gonna stay there and work my a$$ off, with whatever meagre savings I had, to succeed.

Doing this meant I'd be forced to succeed, even if I ended up not liking ecommerce, youtube, etc.
Prior to this my parents had never listened to me and I felt powerless: "No gap year!! Make sure you get good grades!! Go to university for 4 years even if you don't want to".

They kept saying stuff like that, making me depressed and unconfident, and eventually I got fed up and left. They caught me at the airport but ever since then the dynamic between me and my parents has shifted. They have no power over me anymore and they basically can't boss me around anymore since I'm staying with my parents VOLUNTARILY. They know I want to leave really bad, so they don't boss me around anymore.

As a matter of fact, I would absolutely move out right now, live in a shitty apartment and eat ramen 24/7 if I didn't feel bad about leaving my parents. My parents are kind of clingy because I'm their favorite child(my mom has literally said this), and this would be the last time I'd ever live with them 24/7. I'd be "leaving the nest".

You are absolutely right when you say that they are "making my life too easy". I've lived a life of too much comfort: great living environment, great education, frequent high end meals, massive safety net, etc., which is why I wanted to move out, live alone, and grow out of necessity. I'm tired of all this "comfort" and stagnation, and I no longer want to be like who I was before.

I have also considered getting a part time job for the structure it would provide, and maybe some extra $ that I may use for my business endeavors in the future. I'm still a little bit hesitant because in my mind, if I can have a structured work schedule on my own projects without needing a part time, I will have many more hours for my projects but correct me if I'm wrong :)
Either you give yourself structure or find an outside source of structure -- like a job. You have the problem that you have been entitled by your parents who are being your enablers. Once you get outside of their sphere, the outside world doesn't give a damn. And it's brutal on people like you. It eats you up and spits you out. And I think from your post that you know that is your weak link.

So, instead, can you change your thinking? You are responsible for everything you do as an adult -- or coming of age. And you're there. You have the perfect situation to really put some gigs on the map for your future. You have a home, food, and supportive parents. Rather than being resentful, can you be grateful? Can you say thank you? Can you get your parents to align with you and be your cheer leading squad? Can you make a realistic plan to create a business or businesses? Can you educated yourself with the skills you will need? Can you turn over a new leaf?

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was country kid with no family backing. I went to a private college with kids who had family backing like you. I sat on the front row and made straight As (9.8 GPA). They did only the MDR (minimum daily requirement) and really didn't try very hard. I was so green eyed (envious) of them and their financial situation. They had their Daddy's credit card. Their Daddy paid for their apartment and their tuition. I didn't have money to eat a lot of those days. I carried 18 units and I worked 32 hours per week. And those other students spent their time making fun of me and trying to bully me. I wasn't like them. And I'm still not.

But, I've always wondered what I could have done IF I had their family backing system. My life has always been a struggle. I have worked all these years 6 or 7 days a week since I was 11 years old. Now I know that all those struggles have really given me a leg up on people who don't have my grit! I met up with a couple of the other students from that college about 20 year later. They were amazed that I was a successful businesswoman. Then they told me that I was just lucky. Go figure.
 

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AceVentures

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Scramble your association with the word "work".

Work is a pretty dull word used by society to wrap such a large portion of human experience.

Try to instead think "awareness" and notice if it changes anything in your experience. Don't "work", just pay attention...

What's happening to you once happened to me too and I can tell you how things evolved for me:

- Start an online business? Go down rabbit hole of learning as much as I can about "online" businesses
-- Oh so things like Amazon FBA? Go down rabbit hole of learning as much as I can
--- Hit some road blocks - make the thing too complex by getting way ahead of myself.
--- Fear hits - the mind makes up an answer "But I don't even like inventory based businesses... "
---- Stop learning about Amazon FBA
----*STOP PAYING ATTENTION FOR A SHORT WHILE*
----- Start feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough - not being "productive" enough - not "working" enough

- With intense emotions of guilt, angst, and more stress - go back at it
-- Start a service based business? Go down rabbit hole of learning as much as I can about "service based" businesses
--- [...]
--- Hit some road blocks -
--- Fear hits - the mind makes up an answer "I should just BUY a business instead... "
---- Make the thing too complex by getting way ahead of myself
----*STOP PAYING ATTENTION FOR A SHORT WHILE*
----- Start feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough - not being "productive" enough - not "working" enough


- With even more intense emotions of guilt, angst, and more stress - go back at it
-- Start a SaaS business? Go down rabbit hole of learning as much as I can about Saas" business models
--- [...]
---- Hit some road blocks
----- Fear hits - the mind makes up an answer "I need to earn a Masters degree in CompSci before I take action "
------ Make the thing too complex by getting way ahead of myself
-------*STOP PAYING ATTENTION FOR A SHORT WHILE*
-------- Start feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough - not being "productive" enough - not "working" enough

Do you see the pattern? I hope so. But let's get to what we learn from this process:

You're not "wasting time"
You're not "being lazy or not productive enough"
Your problem is not that you lack discipline, or that you don't care, or that you're not worthy
In fact, there is no problem at all... How so?

I want to draw your attention to what might actually be happening: you are learning!

With time being a continuum of the moment before and the moment after, in the present moment you notice no change. You notice no immediate change in the individual, because you're the continuity of what just happened, and our human experience of life rarely flips from black to white instantaneously. It is only in retrospect that you might ever notice how the path changed, and how you arrived at where you are now. This requires time, patience, and a resolute love for yourself and the process.

What might be happening, is that you, as Thomas Edison did with many of his inventions, are learning how NOT to get to what you want.

What might be happening, is that you are learning to link the outcome of your current objective with what you might actually want out of life. It's only by imagining, going through the vision, that you might realize what the other side could potentially look like. And it's in reviewing this outlook on life, that you may begin to actually imagine what you DO want out of life, and little by little begin painting that vision in your mind.

What might be happening, is that with a lack of patience and with angst around what you ought to be doing, with angst around thinking you are unproductive and unworthy, you may be limiting your ability to think clearly and to truly use your creative energy. You might be subconsciously circumventing the creative thoughts that EMERGE out of you, by trying to force what they SHOULD be, comparing your endeavor based on what creativity emerges or has already emerged out of OTHER people.

To navigate forward, what you need is clarity. Instead of hopping around ideas with angst, what you can do is start simply by imagining. Yes. No "work" needed. My prescription is to put on some classical music, and just think. You don't need to take any notes, nothing to memorize or remember here, no to-dos at all. Your task is simple: observe your thoughts. Watch them go by:

" Oh did I lock my car"
" Oh creating a YouTube channel though!"
".. oh What about that new Acura I saw on the road, did you see the jerk that was driving it?"
" This is a waste of my time, I need to be... I need to be... I should research more"

Simply watch what thoughts emerge - notice yourself thinking them. Notice that they emerge from within.

Now put a slight intention behind your thinking: "What do I think is cool? What's something I find interesting?"

Simply watch what thoughts emerge - notice yourself thinking them. Notice that they emerge from within.

Now put another slight intention behind your thinking: "What's an act of kindness I can do MORE of? What was that thing I said to the clerk the other day and he smiled so big? How can I be more kind like that?"

Simply watch what thoughts emerge - notice yourself thinking them. Notice that they emerge from within.

Now tell yourself: " If I wasn't scared of anything, if I didn't believe that the world was going to run out, or that my life would be in some tragedy if I didn't do the thing, you know the thing, the work thing, the being productive, working out, eating healthy cause fitness right, what if nothing BAD would happen to you, if you simply allowed yourself to be?"

Ask yourself what if YOUR experience could be ANYTHING you wanted it to be, what could it look like?

Simply watch what thoughts emerge - notice yourself thinking them. Notice that they emerge from within.

From THIS place, you may begin to see clues as to what your intuitive might actually be pulling you towards.
From THIS place, simply pay attention, and let those thoughts become a part of you.
No need to write down what you learned, no need to memorize, no need to go watch Udemy courses on how to pursue the thing you just thought.
Just sit with it, and if you want, you can even "forget" about it and go do something else. Go for a walk. Go hang out with friends. Go tell your mom you love her.

These thoughts, you see, ALWAYS emerge FROM you. Your subconscious will not forget . You can always think them again :)

By being patient with yourself, by being loving to yourself and the ones around you, by trusting yourself and listening to what the voice within you is saying, you will begin to see a path towards the thing you actually want.

By continuing to be loving, and listening to yourself, your mind will begin to present you hundreds, thousands of iterations of what things can look like, how you can get there, and in one of my favorite mental models: how you GOT there in the future. From the perspective of this random future you just thought up, what are you now telling your kids and the ones asking you advice about how you MADE it to where you are? Imagine yourself on a podium of people seeking advice from you, wanting to learn from you, what do you tell them life is all about? What do you tell them, that if they pursue relentlessly, could lead them down your footsteps?

This is where the magic happens - you see from your OWN mind, the universe will begin to manifest your OWN lessons that you need to learn, your OWN path, what you ACTUALLY can be doing, or what you OUGHT to do that manifests from this future.

Here is where you need to be brave: you need to listen to yourself. Despite what others think, what they may say, how your life might change, what you must do is recognize that this voice from within you STEMS from the Universe. Rooted deep in your subconscious, you will never be able to "forget" or "ignore" this thought. Only temporarily drown it with some other thought. Because it stems from within you. What you must begin to do now, is to simply follow along with the vision and the path your mind offers you.

One step at a time.

With awareness.
With love.
With faith.
With compassion.
With patience.
With kindness.
With the recognition that all will be just alright. That you will be just fine. That there is nothing to be afraid of. That your ability to connect with the Universe, and to imagine a new thought, is your greatest strength. And that you will ALWAYS have this ability - so long as you pay attention and listen to yourself.

I promise you, your path will begin to reveal itself to you. You will "dabble" in different ideas less frequently, because with awareness and an intuitive vision, you will more closely iterate on the things you want and don't want. With each iterative step, your science experiment will spiral you closer to manifesting this vision in your mind and your perspective will become more clear.

You will continue to find things you don't want. Or that you thought you wanted very deeply, but that you've now learned you don't want. That is also part of it - as you continue to be a continuum of the last moment, the present, AND the future moment. As your experience unfolds, new thoughts emerge, your perspective will change. Do not be hard on yourself when this happens - know that this might be what learning feels like.

I promise you, if you practice some of these mental models, you will begin to see what you really want. When this happens, you will no longer have to worry about whether you're doing "enough" or being "productive" enough. When you're doing the thing you REALLY want to be doing, every bone in your body will be WILLINGLY doing the thing. You will not feel much resistance, you will simply WANT to be doing the thing, because there is no other thing you could possibly want in that moment, because your vision is now clear, and you are continuously paying attention to what you DO want. This will make something "hard" or something you might label as "work" to be something so natural and easy.

Just pay attention, and your inner creative will begin to serve you, to serve others around you, and to manifest beautiful things in this world. Money will follow, freedom will follow, personal liberty will follow.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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My bad, I guess I'm not "creating a business". I made an attempt at creating a service online but it wasn't for me.

I should've clarified what I meant when I said I was pursuing Youtube. I'll give you an example:
- A channel in my niche blew up from 0 subscribers to 700k in 3 months and made 40k revenue in one month.
- There's a method, it's called Cash Cow Youtube channels, where you create a network of many channels like this then hire a team to run it, which is how the money comes. I am not using Youtube as a marketing channel.
--> with experience and blackhat tricks it's possible to grow a viewership really fast.

You're also right that I'm chasing money so I can attain my dream lifestyle. I'm not sure if I have the right motivation.

This has always been an issue with me. I don't know if chasing money is a good goal or not, as some people have reached great heights with money as a motivator, whereas others say it's a bad motivator... and to be honest, I think it's the simplest motivator in existence(to achieve my dream lifestyle by making a lot of $)

Without "chasing money to achieve my dream life" as a motivator... I'd be totally lost again. I'd have no idea what I want to do in life which scares me. Like, would I need to spend 1-2 years exploring a bunch of different careers to see what sticks? I'd rather start & grind at something right now so that I'll see results soon, but maybe my mindset is wrong?

Fall in love with your customer.

Do stuff that makes their lives better.

Actually give a shit about them.

The money will come.

If you chase a cat, it will run. Same thing with money.

So how do you get a cat to come? Move their food.

Nobody gets into business to be broke. That's a given. We all want financial freedom. But you're COMPLETELY missing the point.

Black hat youtube channels might sound good to you right now... but I'm telling you it will never work out for you.

It's so much easier to care about people and give them products and services they want.
 

SPM_ENT

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Find the real reason you want to do these things. Find your "why." The closer you get to knowing exactly why you want to do something the longer you'll be able to be consistent. "I want to be rich!" Doesn't count.

Also start with small easy to obtain daily habits that make you feel good at the end of completing them. (Atomic habits book or there's a good youtube video that's about 10mins)
 

OMJ

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I've tried to mitigate this by putting my phone and laptop in the garage and taking more breaks every week. I'll see how it goes.
A garage in Hong Kong!

A parking space there costs more than a house in the US and his parents have a garage.

That means he lives in a house.

Not many people live in houses in Hong Kong.


What happened was 4 months ago, I booked a plane ticket to Las Vegas from Hong Kong and left without telling my parents. I was gonna stay there and work my a$$ off, with whatever meagre savings I had, to succeed
Yeah, because there's no distractions in Las Vegas.

Poor little rich kid trapped in a life of luxury, offspring of some of the wealthiest people on the planet.

That's if any of its true.

Probably a bored kid seeking attention.

@Hadrian did he ever join your accountability discord?

What gets me about this forum, is every time there's a post like this, there's an outpouring help and advice.

Yet there's progress threads that go ignored.

The old stock market saying applies here.

Cut your losers quickly and nurture your winners.

This guy's not going to do anything.

It's clear from his forum activity, he only posts on threads he created, all the same theme, help me help me.

Entrepreneurs don't do this, they figure stuff out, they get on with it.

And only when they've tried everything they possibly can and been battered against a brick wall will they stick their hand up and ask for a different perspective.

These people that talk about wanting to be an entrepreneur are dreaming.

You either are one or you're not.

Entrepreneurs see business opportunities without looking.

They don't go searching for ideas, ideas come to them from daily life, whether it's their work, leisure activity, a trip to the store, whatever.
They experience something and they see an opportunity.
That's what entrepreneurs do.

But I digress.

People who are chronically lazy aren't entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs aren't chronically lazy.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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A garage in Hong Kong!

A parking space there costs more than a house in the US and his parents have a garage.

That means he lives in a house.

Not many people live in houses in Hong Kong.



Yeah, because there's no distractions in Las Vegas.

Poor little rich kid trapped in a life of luxury, offspring of some of the wealthiest people on the planet.

That's if any of its true.

Probably a bored kid seeking attention.

@Hadrian did he ever join your accountability discord?

What gets me about this forum, is every time there's a post like this, there's an outpouring help and advice.

Yet there's progress threads that go ignored.

The old stock market saying applies here.

Cut your losers quickly and nurture your winners.

This guy's not going to do anything.

It's clear from his forum activity, he only posts on threads he created, all the same theme, help me help me.

Entrepreneurs don't do this, they figure stuff out, they get on with it.

And only when they've tried everything they possibly can and been battered against a brick wall will they stick their hand up and ask for a different perspective.

These people that talk about wanting to be an entrepreneur are dreaming.

You either are one or you're not.

Entrepreneurs see business opportunities without looking.

They don't go searching for ideas, ideas come to them from daily life, whether it's their work, leisure activity, a trip to the store, whatever.
They experience something and they see an opportunity.
That's what entrepreneurs do.

But I digress.

People who are chronically lazy aren't entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs aren't chronically lazy.
I'm super guilty and hopping on threads like these.

I want to help and contribute but I'm freaking busy so I miss things.

Please direct me to some threads where people are taking action and could use an idea or two? (Not that I'm all mighty, just want to contribute where I can)
 

Antifragile

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@OMJ thank you. I felt something off about these posts, similar to RobertWills stuff - but failed to connect the dots and responded. People jump on troll threads and “help me” threads because it makes us feel good about ourselves by being in a position to provide such responses.

The only benefit here is some of those replies, were actually helpful to other readers. I sincerely enjoyed the reminder to love your client by @Kung Fu Steve
 

spirit

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I think you should productively work on something smaller that you can scale later. For example, maybe a lawn care business. You'll learn a lot and it'll give you a bit more discipline.

@OMJ thank you. I felt something off about these posts, similar to RobertWills stuff - but failed to connect the dots and responded. People jump on troll threads and “help me” threads because it makes us feel good about ourselves by being in a position to provide such responses.

The only benefit here is some of those replies, were actually helpful to other readers. I sincerely enjoyed the reminder to love your client by @Kung Fu Steve

I've asked a lot of questions on this forum, so hopefully I'm not one of those people :clench:.

I am putting everything to use, though.
 

999michaelh

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The problem is that you are 18-20 years old with the mindset of a 15/16 year old.

Your parents stopped you at the airport? They can't stop you doing anything once you are an adult. You stopped yourself.

"They can't boss me around anymore"... dude

"I don't wanna leave my parents"

Man, you have extreme comfort in your situation.. why would you want to leave? You get everything provided and have to contribute nothing. You can keep hitting the cheap dopamine because there is no consequence.

If I was you, I'd be embarrassed by what your parents think of you also. The reason they are trying to stop you doing all of this stuff is they don't trust that you can take care of yourself.

A lot of this might sound harsh but I went through the same situation. Parents didn't want me going to bars, driving, moving out, leaving college, starting a business... anything with risk. You know what though.. I don't blame them.. I was lazy AF when I was in high school and engaged in pretty much the same sorta stuff as you. Gaming, sport.. I was also social which you maybe hadn't been as much.. but the point still stands.

I went and done all of these things anyways. It created a lot of turmoil in my relationship with my parents at the time.

4-5 years later I have a good cashflowing business, I have an apartment in the city, I travel a few times every year (they still worry when I travel :D ) and guess what I even went back to do night college online during C0VlD to finish out my degree in a different but similar field.

My relationship is as good as it's ever been with my parents. They love to see me doing well.

Scapegoating your parents for your problems is the biggest mindset challenge you have to overcome. You aren't 15 anymore. Your life is dictated by the choices YOU make.

Just as a follow up too.. I still struggle at times. Once you get off the breadline, have consistent cashflow and savings built up, complacency can creep back in. I could slack off for months and not have it effect my immediate living situation but when you are a business owner nobody is going to fire you or give out if you don't get up in the morning... but 6 months down the road you are going to start losing clients, money and you'll be in a terrible situation.

Yeah you're right. I try not to blame others but sometimes I still do subconsciously.

I'll probably leave sometime in the near future, when my parents go back to Hong Kong. I'll take it as an opportunity to leave without feeling too guilty.

Either you give yourself structure or find an outside source of structure -- like a job. You have the problem that you have been entitled by your parents who are being your enablers. Once you get outside of their sphere, the outside world doesn't give a damn. And it's brutal on people like you. It eats you up and spits you out. And I think from your post that you know that is your weak link.

So, instead, can you change your thinking? You are responsible for everything you do as an adult -- or coming of age. And you're there. You have the perfect situation to really put some gigs on the map for your future. You have a home, food, and supportive parents. Rather than being resentful, can you be grateful? Can you say thank you? Can you get your parents to align with you and be your cheer leading squad? Can you make a realistic plan to create a business or businesses? Can you educated yourself with the skills you will need? Can you turn over a new leaf?

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was country kid with no family backing. I went to a private college with kids who had family backing like you. I sat on the front row and made straight As (9.8 GPA). They did only the MDR (minimum daily requirement) and really didn't try very hard. I was so green eyed (envious) of them and their financial situation. They had their Daddy's credit card. Their Daddy paid for their apartment and their tuition. I didn't have money to eat a lot of those days. I carried 18 units and I worked 32 hours per week. And those other students spent their time making fun of me and trying to bully me. I wasn't like them. And I'm still not.

But, I've always wondered what I could have done IF I had their family backing system. My life has always been a struggle. I have worked all these years 6 or 7 days a week since I was 11 years old. Now I know that all those struggles have really given me a leg up on people who don't have my grit! I met up with a couple of the other students from that college about 20 year later. They were amazed that I was a successful businesswoman. Then they told me that I was just lucky. Go figure.

I do have a general fear of the "outside world". Not sure where you identified that in my post but it's true.

You bring up a good point with the resentment. I don't feel resentful that often but I'm pretty sure it's probably been subconsciously influencing my behaviour, as you were able to tell from my post. I don't like resenting my parents. They're great parents, yet I still do sometimes. Maybe it's time for me to start practicing gratitude as a daily ritual(something I've procrastinated on for a long time).

I have a solid plan for getting to $30k per month, just need to put in the time & effort to get there now which is what I'm working at.

Fall in love with your customer.

Do stuff that makes their lives better.

Actually give a shit about them.

The money will come.

If you chase a cat, it will run. Same thing with money.

So how do you get a cat to come? Move their food.

Nobody gets into business to be broke. That's a given. We all want financial freedom. But you're COMPLETELY missing the point.

Black hat youtube channels might sound good to you right now... but I'm telling you it will never work out for you.

It's so much easier to care about people and give them products and services they want.

I'm not going to go down the entrepreneur route. Whether it's white hat or black hat videos, I'll probably stick to Youtube since it seems to be the most fun, least risky, and most rewarding.

But you do raise a good point. I think if I focused on creating quality content that I enjoyed personally, my life would be a lot easier
Find the real reason you want to do these things. Find your "why." The closer you get to knowing exactly why you want to do something the longer you'll be able to be consistent. "I want to be rich!" Doesn't count.

Also start with small easy to obtain daily habits that make you feel good at the end of completing them. (Atomic habits book or there's a good youtube video that's about 10mins)
I don't know what my "why" is. Pretty much all I tell myself is that "I want to do something big". Other than that, I'm trying to become rich so I can afford my dream lifestyle. Not sure if that counts as a "why"?


A garage in Hong Kong!

A parking space there costs more than a house in the US and his parents have a garage.

That means he lives in a house.

Not many people live in houses in Hong Kong.



Yeah, because there's no distractions in Las Vegas.

Poor little rich kid trapped in a life of luxury, offspring of some of the wealthiest people on the planet.

That's if any of its true.

Probably a bored kid seeking attention.

@Hadrian did he ever join your accountability discord?

What gets me about this forum, is every time there's a post like this, there's an outpouring help and advice.

Yet there's progress threads that go ignored.

The old stock market saying applies here.

Cut your losers quickly and nurture your winners.

This guy's not going to do anything.

It's clear from his forum activity, he only posts on threads he created, all the same theme, help me help me.

Entrepreneurs don't do this, they figure stuff out, they get on with it.

And only when they've tried everything they possibly can and been battered against a brick wall will they stick their hand up and ask for a different perspective.

These people that talk about wanting to be an entrepreneur are dreaming.

You either are one or you're not.

Entrepreneurs see business opportunities without looking.

They don't go searching for ideas, ideas come to them from daily life, whether it's their work, leisure activity, a trip to the store, whatever.
They experience something and they see an opportunity.
That's what entrepreneurs do.

But I digress.

People who are chronically lazy aren't entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs aren't chronically lazy.

I grew up in Hong Kong. I'm in the US right now.

You must be a wizard because you can understand someone through a small series of posts.

You say I haven't tried anything, but I've been doing exactly that for the past 1.5 years. Coming to others for help was a last resort.

You're right that I ask for help too often. I'll make it a point to give more value to others in the future.

"People who are chronically lazy aren't entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs aren't chronically lazy." I was practically raised on video games. Playing video games all day was what I did since I was 10 years old. It was my escape for 7 years. Do you realize how difficult it is to break free from that? I'm trying my best, but it's not like I'm going to U-turn my lifestyle instantly.

I'm grateful for all the people who've given me advice. I could not come up with any ideas to deal with this inconsistency problem, so everyone here has given me an idea that could potentially fix this problem once and for all. But that doesn't mean you have to resent me because other threads don't get as much attention. You're obviously more experienced than me, but something tells me that your maturity might not be.

You're just a hater, and I'll use you as fuel to my fire.
 

999michaelh

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Mar 20, 2021
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Thanks for all the advice everyone. I've been trying my best to deal with this problem myself but I just couldn't figure it out. I have a lot of new ideas now. New strategies to test out so that hopefully I can get rid of this problem for good.

I'll contribute whenever I can as well, as I take too much value without giving in return - my bad.
 

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