Everyone is asking me for money...

[DeletedUser394]

How am I supposed to share my successes with people, if all it does is come around and bite me in the a$$?

I want to tell my stories with friends and family because I'm proud of what I accomplish and because I want to inspire them in turn... instead it's just leading to resentment and people expecting handouts.

In the past few days I've had friends ask me for money for a variety of reasons. I say no (politely). All I get in return is vitriol. 'Dude, why the **** not, I was with you that night you made $x, so why can't you help me? Am I not important enough for you?' 'Dude, I thought we were friends, and you say no when I need a favor?' 'Hey, I really need xyz, so can you lend me $xyz? I don't know when I can pay you back, but I promise I will... one day!'

I lent some money to a family member after a sob story about needing money to buy pet food for the pets... the hell do you have pets for if you can't feed them? It made me very uncomfortable and I don't want to do it again. Money and friends/family do not mix well.

People are expecting me to pay for them when we're out and about too. I'm responsible for me, no one else!

I'm really frustrated right now, and I just had to vent this in the private forum.

LOL, it's getting lonely out there and I'm not even rich yet, not even close!

 

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[DennisD]

Speaking of which, I need14K for a world changing business investment
Also, I NEED 13 cartons of cigarettes and beer. For real man, I work so hard at McDonalds and I deserve it.

For real: that sucks.
Whenever I get any significant amount of money I keep it a secret... although if I ever make a million I'll want to share that with people... idk how to do it.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Whenever I get any significant amount of money I keep it a secret... although if I ever make a million I'll want to share that with people... idk how to do it.

Yeah I'm pretty sure I have no choice but to do this also.

 

[jon.a]

We have a note on the refrigerator that says "it's okay to say no."

 

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[snowbank]

In the past few days I've had friends ask me for money for a variety of reasons. I say no (politely). All I get in return is vitriol. 'Dude, why the **** not

These are not friends. These are people several years from now you will have wished you cut ties with earlier.

Do it now.

 

[Vigilante]

God for bid you ever lose your money… You will have the opportunity to see everybody scatter

 

[OzGrinder]

Yep. Get rid of these 'friends'. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. Choose wisely.

God for bid you ever lose your money… You will have the opportunity to see everybody skatter

Yes, but not before they revel in your failure... Most people love to see you fail, they hate to see you succeed.

 

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[LightHouse]

Maybe because you show around what you do have? You put it out there, on facebook, on this forum (avatar and username) what type of people do you expect to attract like that?

 

[DeletedUser394]

Maybe because you show around what you do have? You put it out there, on facebook, on this forum (avatar and username) what type of people do you expect to attract like that?

That's very true.

The username portion though has history behind it from back on the rich dad forums. I was a kid back then, so I became richkid

I totally get what you're saying, I need to tone it down in public. No doubt I brought it on myself. At the same time though, there have been certain friends that have been extremely supportive which is nice as well.

 

[LightHouse]

That's very true.

The username portion though has history behind it from back on the rich dad forums. I was a kid back then, so I became richkid

I totally get what you're saying, I need to tone it down in public. No doubt I brought it on myself. At the same time though, there have been certain friends that have been extremely supportive which is nice as well.

Yeah I know you aren't that young anymore, and don't take this as I am putting you down as younger. But you will look back at old photos or things you did online when you are older and will probably be embarrassed. I have done it, the things i used to post and do on forums, i had screenshots of things that captured those times.

Also, this board always has people putting down rappers and people who flaunt their wealth or faking it before you are making it, this is sort of the same thing. Nothing good comes out of people knowing you have expendable cash.

 

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[DennisD]

But you will look back at old photos or things you did online when you are older and will probably be embarrassed. I have done it, the things i used to post and do on forums, i had screenshots of things that captured those times.

I look back on some things I wrote YESTERDAY and am embarrassed.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Yeah I know you aren't that young anymore, and don't take this as I am putting you down as younger. But you will look back at old photos or things you did online when you are older and will probably be embarrassed. I have done it, the things i used to post and do on forums, i had screenshots of things that captured those times.

Also, this board always has people putting down rappers and people who flaunt their wealth or faking it before you are making it, this is sort of the same thing. Nothing good comes out of people knowing you have expendable cash.

I got rid of most of the pictures of cash stacks and what not (including the avatar here).. it was pretty stupid in hindsight! Just was proud and needed some validation I guess.

 

[LightHouse]

I got rid of most of the pictures of cash stacks and what not (including the avatar here).. it was pretty stupid in hindsight! Just was proud and needed some validation I guess.

You don't need validation dude, you know you can make money. Take money out of the number 1 priority in your life, it will be much more fulfilling and much more fun! Good luck with it all.

 

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[tamo42]

It's the old saying a out the difference between being poor and being broke. Broke is a monetary condition, but poor is a dtate of mind

It's sad to say, but the mindset of poor people is toxic.

 

[Kak]

Yeah I'm pretty sure I have no choice but to do this also.

Bullshit. You have zero obligation to these leeches. Cut them out of your life, they are shitty people. No real friend will sit around and ask you for money and not feel ashamed.

Dennis, a million dollars is not sharing amount. Maybe 1-200k of philanthropy if it keeps coming in...

F*ck people who demand you give them money. F*ck people who mandate it through government.

"No thanks, I already gave to my foundation...... did I mention I'm on the board of directors?... F*ck off."

 

[GuestUser8117]

I'm not even in the middle class and I give money often. Kind people are thankful if you do it and that's a good feeling. But there are shitty people who just want your money and don't care about you. I wonder if it happens as well to those who are more wealthy.

 

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[amp0193]

I read a book this summer by Ruby Payne called "A Framework for Understanding Poverty" in an effort to better see where my students are coming from (I teach at a Title I school).

She discusses how each class of society: poor, middle-class, and rich all have different "hidden rules" that are unspoken, but are believed by the people in those classes. One of the hidden rules for those in poverty is that when someone gains wealth suddenly, they are expected to share it. I know some people in this thread are quick to jump down the throats of your friends, but the reason people act the way they do can be pretty complex.

The book is a quick read that I found to be pretty fascinating and eye-opening.

 

[Kak]

Actually sounds very interesting.

 

[Operation_OPM]

I want to tell my stories with friends and family because I'm proud of what I accomplish and because I want to inspire them in turn... instead it's just leading to resentment and people expecting handouts.

Major mistake!!! Bring up sport's, movies, world events..even religion and politics(BEST DEFLECTORS)...but never.....EVER....:nonod::nonod:TALK:nonod::nonod: ABOUT YOUR MONEY!!:eusa_naughty:

You'll inspire people better by BEING who they want to matriculate to.

 

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[amp0193]

You'll either inspire them, or more likely, break ties with them if you continue talking about your success.

The other key point from the book that I wanted to mention is that the author says in order "to move from poverty to middle class or middle class to wealth, an individual must give up relationships for achievement". Most will not be pleased with your gaining of wealth.

 

[Kak]

Turn it around on them. "Actually, I was about to ask you for money, I have this pretty sweet ground floor opportunity for you to invest in." Lol

 

[Sir Ingenious]

I think you still have a trouble saying "No" or otherwise, you wouldn't be posting this.

Whatever state of mind you're in, ignore it. Simply focus on saying "No."

If anyone can't accept your "No" then it's on them, not you.

And that problem is deeper than just money.

 

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[Rickson9]

How am I supposed to share my successes with people, if all it does is come around and bite me in the a$$?

I want to tell my stories with friends and family because I'm proud of what I accomplish and because I want to inspire them in turn... instead it's just leading to resentment and people expecting handouts.

What is the purpose of sharing your success with others? Unless an individual is asking you to share the method behind your success, you're generally assuming that they care.

In the past few days I've had friends ask me for money for a variety of reasons. I say no (politely). All I get in return is vitriol. 'Dude, why the **** not, I was with you that night you made $x, so why can't you help me? Am I not important enough for you?' 'Dude, I thought we were friends, and you say no when I need a favor?' 'Hey, I really need xyz, so can you lend me $xyz? I don't know when I can pay you back, but I promise I will... one day!'

I lent some money to a family member after a sob story about needing money to buy pet food for the pets... the hell do you have pets for if you can't feed them? It made me very uncomfortable and I don't want to do it again. Money and friends/family do not mix well.

People are expecting me to pay for them when we're out and about too. I'm responsible for me, no one else!

I'm really frustrated right now, and I just had to vent this in the private forum.

LOL, it's getting lonely out there and I'm not even rich yet, not even close!

Unfortunately, you kind of asked for what you're getting.

Every day is a new lesson.

 

[Calgary]

Richkid,

We're the same age. I've offered to connect with you before when you were in Calgary. In my experience, never share how much money you have or what you make or what kind of a deal you scored. It can sometimes come off as arrogant and others may lower their opinion about you.

For instance, when I had a Range Rover last year, lots of people were impressed that I was able own one at a young age. Although it was a used one, it didn't look dated at all. When I informed my peers about what it was worth, they were not impressed at all. Lesson learned there was that wealth is or can be an illusion.

One of my best friend's in business (own company that's scaling quite well right now) and he's the only one I only discuss with about anything business and money related. It's because he understands and knows better to ask about money. Everyone else, I don't discuss about money because when you don't have it, they'll laugh at you. When you do, they'll try to take it from you or make you look bad.

As for posting on the internet, think about how you will come across as from other people's perspective and maybe you'll think twice before posting it or posting at all. There were a number of times when I wanted to post something but decided not to because I didn't think having a stand was worth it.

My 2 cents.