Do I have a fastlane mentality?!?!?!

[DeletedUser394]

I'm in a contentious debate right now, and I'm wondering if I'm seeing this right (as a way of thinking in the fastlane).. Is this one of those scenarios where I (a fastlane member) are talking to two friends with slowlane mentalities? Or am I completely off about what it means to be in the fastlane... THANK YOU

Me: I want to be a multi-millionaire.

Friend 1: Don't. I hate money. It destroys people.

Me: Here's how I look at it... I don't like money either... but I enjoy freedom.

I want loads of money in my life (we're talking in the multi-millions okay?) but I don't want stuff.

Why do I want money? Not because of material possessions...no amount of money can ever buy happiness, but it can buy freedom...and what could anyone desire more than the ability to do what you want, when you want, whenever you want?... See More

Sure... You can have a "job that you love" (job = just over broke) lol... but you have no power! ...Not power in the sense of controlling or dominating other people...but power in the sense that you can truly be in the driver's seat of your own life. For instance..what happens if you are fired from your job?

I can't imagine living or enjoying my life when other people truly are in control. I want to answer to no one but myself. I want do whatever I want to do, help whoever I want to help, and become everything I want to become... and money plays no role in that... the freedom it buys will allow me to accomplish my goals.

That's it lol

Friend 1: Ryan, I don't care about money even after reading that. It destroys people, I've seen it completely change people for no real reason literally right before my eyes.
The only thing I care about in life at all is love, truthfully.
If I end up living in a car with a woman I love, I'd be just as happy as in the Hamptons with a woman I love. Freedom isn... See More't free, but it doesn't cost money. It costs will and determination, the stuff it takes to get to the adventure is half an adventure in itself. If I end up alone, I honestly don't care how much money I have.
I can free climb anything, cliff dive, hike, long distance bike/backpack, anything I want that wont cost anything more than simple living. That's actually my biggest fear, though. Alone forever.

Friend 2: I like what Ryan said, but Dylan you're right, money does destroy people. If I ever came into a lot of money I pray, which I do everyday if this ever happens, that I will still be the same person.

Me: Only the weak minded allow money to control/destroy them. Only the weak rely on material possessions to feel like they themselves are worth something. (I'm sorry but it is true. My parents let money destroy them... they are weak).

I want to give people opportunities I never had.. I want to empower people to live truly great lives, in whatever domains they so choose.

As for being alone. For me, I couldn't care less. I'm strong enough to not need the company of a significant other. It is my friends that support me, and I them. If I can help change other people's lives... I don't care if I go home at the end of the day to no one..because the person I will become as a result, and the friends I will have made are worth more than anything I could ever ask for.... See More

I draw strength of mind from the people around me.. those who are positive and ambitious. I don't need anything more.

Friend 2: So true Ryan. Never thought of it that way.

Friend 1: I also know for a fact you can massively influence people without money at all. Give people hope, draw from them as you draw from them. You don't have to be weak to let money change you, money is a strong hell, you can be weaker than it with being weak yourself in every other way.

Me:

1.2 billion people are right now lacking access to clean water...can we empower them to just build their own wells without the ressources to do so?

900,000,000 people (300,000,000 children) are right now, at this very moment, starving because they haven't had enough to eat today... can we simply inspire them to find food?

Not quite, because they need the infrastructure and the subsequent knowledge to provide for themselves.. but they need that first step.... See More

How could you be strong and let money CHANGE you...key word right there. Only the weak allow outside influences (in this case money) to change who they are at their core. The strong change as a result of who they BECOME.

I have a friend (it's MJ...lol) who lived in virtual poverty for the first years of his life once he moved out on his own. He built a company from the ground up (all the while listening to people who said that his goals were not achievable) and is now a multi-millionaire 10x over... the money wasn't his goal... he's the same guy now as he was before after all.. his goal was to achieve something incredible with his life and experience true freedom.

He lives an extraordinary life. I hope to one day do so as well.

and just to repeat... I DON'T WANT ANYTHING...I don't want a house, I don't want a fancy car... I want to change the world. You are right, you can do that without money...but imagine the possibilities presented if you had both.

and from a simply economic sense... money has no intrinsic value... it's just a piece of paper.. No truly strong individual would let a piece of paper control them even to the slightest degree.

Friend 2: Ryan that is so true.

Me:
thanks Ashley
Don't get me wrong Dylan, I see your opinion as totally valid and I respect it and even agree with it... I simply have a problem when people try and blame money as "evil" and a destroyer of people ...when really it is the people who can't handle the money properly and therefore destroy themselves. People are quick to blame others (or money) for the shortcoming in their own lives but rarely do they accept the blame.

 

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[Rem]

Nothing wrong with money. People are corrupted in most cases anyway with or without money. Money is not the root of all evil but the love of money.

 

[GuestAcct-10]

I wouldn't worry too much about whether you are in the right mindset because as long as you have a goal and you understand the right ways of achieving the goal then chances are you are in the right mindset. The reasons that you want money I think are irrelevant its the way you get it that matters. Although I'm sure others will disagree.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Now my friend called my opinion and examples incredibly flawed. Awesome.

 

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[GlobalWealth]

my first thought is 'you need new friends'. these people are not creating the right environment for you. regardless of what you say, the people you associate with will influence your life. if you want to acheive success, spend time with successful and linkminded people. these people have a skewed sense of morality based on cultural norms.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

The lack of (anything really) seems to be the root of all evil. Makes people desperate.

Money and character have nothing to do with each other. A person with poor character, with or without money, still has poor character.

I have a personal feeling that many who say "money is evil", "money corrupts", or something along those lines. I'm pretty sure they haven't been through the hells of not having money.

Money isn't everything, not having it is.

 

[Runum]

Unless your friends can speak from experience on both sides of the coin, they have been broke and financially wealthy, their opinions are just opinions. My guess is that they have not had money and are using a lot of poor man cliches. You can't change their mind with a war of words but they can certainly bring you down and keep you down to their level. The only way to convince them is to show them and that may not even work. They may then label you as "lucky".

I agree with GW. If your goal is to have a lot of money then you need a different set of friends. I wish you well on your journey.:cheers:

 

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[PaulRobert]

I will post later about this topic because right now I am somewhat in rush.

 

[LightHouse]

I agree with runum and steve. I also agree with your friend that you can empower people without money. My thought is if you really wanted that in your life then you will do/are doing it regardless or whether you have money or not. You don't have to bring clean water to people in Africa, there are plenty of people stateside that could use some empowering(but dont just hand it out, we can see where that has gone in the last year)

 

[Pinnacle]

If you are to keep your friends, they need to read Francisco's Money Speech.

Money is attracted to wealth. Your focus needs to be on producing wealth (a good, a service, etc.) that has value to others. You are most certainly on the right track. There is no shame in making money, but doing it for the right reasons is what sets you apart morally.

 

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[GlobalWealth]

If you are to keep your friends, they need to read Francisco's Money Speech.

Money is attracted to wealth. Your focus needs to be on producing wealth (a good, a service, etc.) that has value to others. You are most certainly on the right track. There is no shame in making money, but doing it for the right reasons is what sets you apart morally.

I was going to recommend Ryan read the whole book (Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand), but refrained for some reason.

 

[PaulRobert]

#1. Money is not the root of all evil. From what I have seen in my life, it is the people behind the money that causes evil. Everyone has money whether it be a hundred dollars or a couple million. But the difference is the character of the person. As Steve states, a person with a poor character will have a poor character if he/she does not change. Money is a tool that can be used to open opportunities; good and bad ones.

#2. Surround yourself with people that support you. Completely cut your relationships with people that are full of negativity. "Money is evil", "Most millionaires are greedy, corrupt, :blah2:" "Most exotic owners that are young are either trust fund babies or in the mob"- All of those types of people that say that; get them out of your life, today! While it is tough sometimes, it will do wonders for you. I have stopped visiting family members and friends that have this type of mentality for 2 reasons: They are always pessimistic nutjobs that will find everything wrong and after leaving their house you will find yourself thinking negatively also.

 

[GlobalWealth]

#1. Money is not the root of all evil. From what I have seen in my life, it is the people behind the money that causes evil. Everyone has money whether it be a hundred dollars or a couple million. But the difference is the character of the person. As Steve states, a person with a poor character will have a poor character if he/she does not change. Money is a tool that can be used to open opportunities; good and bad ones.

#2. Surround yourself with people that support you. Completely cut your relationships with people that are full of negativity. "Money is evil", "Most millionaires are greedy, corrupt, :blah2:" "Most exotic owners that are young are either trust fund babies or in the mob"- All of those types of people that say that; get them out of your life, today! While it is tough sometimes, it will do wonders for you. I have stopped visiting family members and friends that have this type of mentality for 2 reasons: They are always pessimistic nutjobs that will find everything wrong and after leaving their house you will find yourself thinking negatively also.

#1, you need to come to terms yourself with the idea that money is not evil. in reality, the love of money is not evil either. money itself is a tool, a very useful tool that is only created by productive work. those that think money is evil are weak minded individuals who are either easily susceptible to the social mindset of altruism as a virtue, or they are just making excuses for their own inability to produce.

#2, this is basically the computer geek's GIGO principle, garbage in garbage out. only in this case the garbage is your friends. you are going to be influenced by those you associate with. this is completely unavoidable. what isn't avoidable is the choice of who you associate with.

if you want a life of mediocrity, hang out with mediocre friends. if you want a life of success and abundance, hang out with those of the same mindset.

no matter who you associate with, the associations become a major influence on your way of thinking. do you want that influence to be one of negativity and excuses, or one where success minded people feed off one another's energy and propel each other to new heights?

we are all blessed with the power of free will. the choices we make determine our outcome and this is the only thing we truly control. make good choices and you make a good life.

 

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[Rem]

Personally, a true friend won't leave another friend because they have flaws. Keep your friends. Learn to be independent of them though when it comes to money. It shouldn't matter what your friends think of you if they are truly friends. Just remember them when you become wealthy. :smxB:

You need to surround yourself with successful people and books and tools, and that I agree with. But understand your friends and maybe help them if you are strong enough. I would choose friends over money any day.

That's just my opinion.

 

[exon]

here is my experience....

1st- This is best explanation I could ever found:

"One of the most prevalent misconceptions concerning money, relates to its importance. For example, how many times have you heard people say in conversation, “Money isn’t everything.†or “Money isn’t important.†or “I don’t care about money.†Well, the people who say these things might
not care about money, but I’ll bet their car dealer cares about it; their grocer does; and so does the person who holds their mortgage. In truth, there can be no denial of the fact that money is important to any person living in a civilized society. Therefore, to argue that it is not as important as this or that, is absurd." - You Were Born Rich

People for whom money isn't important mostly USE other people and LOVE money that they have because they don't have enough, but You should always LOVE people and USE money. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to burn money

2nd - Why Friends doesn't support you?

They support you in a way they think is the best. They will support you to win but they don't wont you to leave, to be different from them. They wish all the best for you, but most of them think that money is result of luck, good fortune or some illegal activities, so in a good manners they won't support you.

3rd - Fastlane Mentality

Every mentality is programmed in our mind by things, peoples and situations that surround us from the day we've born. Good thing is that we all have choice to change the program. As I know it request a time and hard work. I was so many times in situations where I had very good opportunities but I haven't done anything. I knew that it was good deals, but I just freeze myself. I had knowledge, tools and everything needed but I didn't have right mindset. Something in my head was telling me "Don't do it". Research on "paradigms" helped me a lot to change my mentality.

 

[Runum]

Personally, a true friend won't leave another friend because they have flaws. Keep your friends. Learn to be independent of them though when it comes to money. It shouldn't matter what your friends think of you if they are truly friends. Just remember them when you become wealthy. :smxB:

You need to surround yourself with successful people and books and tools, and that I agree with. But understand your friends and maybe help them if you are strong enough. I would choose friends over money any day.

That's just my opinion.

I do agree that I would choose a friend over money. However, would a true friend keep you down by attacking your dreams. A true friend would support you in all of your endeavors. :cheers:

 

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[Rem]

I do agree that I would choose a friend over money. However, would a true friend keep you down by attacking your dreams. A true friend would support you in all of your endeavors. :cheers:

I would tend to agree. Look at this scenario. A good friend of yours is stuck in a mediocre mentality. He/she grew up thinking after graduation you go to college, get a degree, and go work for someone else making $65,000 to start with benefits. To them this is a great income and you have the ability after working there for many years to move up the corporate ladder and by the time you are in your mid 50's you could be pulling 6 figures if you prove yourself. This is all they know, all they care about and believe that being all you can be is making $90,000 per year and benefits.

This friend wants to know what you are up to and you have sold a few ads online and have a membership site for instance. You are pulling in maybe a couple hundred dollars per month but you see the potential and that in just a few years you could be pulling in $10,000/month. You discuss the scenario to your friend but they don't really get it because they don't know how to turn a computer on and those friends who do go to Facebook and MySpace at the end of each work day discussing how stressed they are as they have a beer or wine or what have you.

Edit to include: They see you sitting at your computer all day hammering away, you aren't working for someone else, you can hardly pay your electric bill, you went to school for 4 years to what..? "play on the computer?" This is unrealistic to them. They see this as being irresponsible and totally unacceptable. So as a true friend need to address the issue since they are working for a large corporation and feel qualified to break the news.

This person will think they are being your friend by telling you that you are being unrealistic. It isn't truly meant initially to bring you down but "true friends help friends see the light". It's like the friend who won't tell his buddy he has a booger hanging out his nose. True friends no matter how devastating will tell your friend the truth. If your fried TRULY believes that you are being unrealistic, whether it be they are not business minded or for some other reasons, they will tell you. This friend might seriously be trying to be the best friend a friend needs but it is the best friend who is not seeing things right because they are only focused on the $90,000/year office job with benefits.

So I am not really disagreeing with you all. I think friends need to support each other, but you also have to understand the nature of friends and how people act in certain situations. Telling Ryan to find new friends is a great piece of advice, but that doesn't mean he needs to drop his old friends. He as a TRUE friend needs to accept them for who they are as they are people too... and all people have flaws and all people have strengths. Find new friends with strengths in the things you need so you can learn, submerge yourself, and have a support base, and at the time keep your old friends.

There are certain friends I have I don't even talk about this stuff with and we just play poker and talk about deer hunting. I have friends who don't deer hunt, but we discuss politics and current events and books we are reading. Other friends I have HATE politics and could care less who is president but they like to discuss wine. So we drink wine and have a good time. I have friends who like to discuss business and investing. A lot of my friends are very optimistic. Others tend to get hurt easily and I help them. Not all friends are there to help you. Sometimes it's not about us. Sometimes it's about them and they are the ones in need of helping. Ditching them to be with cheerleaders is immature and superficial. Facing the storms with your friends is what will make us become better people and excel.

You can pick your friends but sometimes they need help. And you should be there for them. If they don't understand where you are coming from and can't convince them otherwise then that is unfortunate and you will lose a connection with them.

I know my drive comes from within me.

 

[GlobalWealth]

I know my drive comes from within me.

this may be true, but your friends influence you either consciously or subconsciously. and if your friends are not uplifting you and supporting your dreams, they are inevitably a drain on you mentally and emotionally, even if you don't know it.

It took me awhile to learn this and I hope you learn this too. This is also goes for family. I now have some family members I chose not to associate with because they are just a drain on me mentally and emotionally. My life is too short to submit myself to this negativity and I realize it to be a drain on me.

Sure, you may have some negative friends, but you need to severly limit your exposure to them. The sooner you realize the impact the negativity has on your life, the sooner you will realize your dreams.

 

[Rem]

No I agree with most of that. There are people I choose not to associate with for this reason. A lot of them are family members I only see once or twice a year. There are people I could be friends with that I choose not to be friends with.

 

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[Quagzmort]

It really is amazing when you can sit back and look at the outlook of your family and current friends. What drives them, or more specifically, what fears do they let drive them? Once you figure that out you can recognize it in yourself and begin making a change.