Critique My eBook Sales Page!

[PEERless]

I am running an adwords campaign along with some light word-of-mouth. The site is only two months old, so I was proud of my 665 total visits. But it's my first try at this, so my expectations are skewed.

The content is pretty static, as it's not associated with a 'blog or anything. Maybe I'll get some help with my adwords ad.

 

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[mtnman]

What about traffic? I know about your paid traffic, but what about organic?

Find a few long tails for a common problem your book will assist with and hit'em hard.

A linked network supporting your cause wouldn't hurt either in the future. A Wordpress blog will work fine, with the right theme.

WP blog- you can write pages/posts that lead to different sales pages that appeal to different markets. Your incoming links can link to your homepage or individual pages/posts for targetted results that appeal to a different set of values.

Or, interactive copy might work well ( I think I sent you a link for a program that creates the forms and runs the script for that a while back) where your copy goes into a series of questions or plays on certain motivators (emotions) that the prospect selects, which then directs them to a relevant sales page. Two/three step process, kind of like what you have now.

Link love to your blog....

^^sn's - squidoo, del, digg, linkshare, kabootle, this list is long and these aren't all of them...

Propeller.com
Slashdot.org
Digg.com
Technorati.com
Del.icio.us
Stumbleupon.com
Twitter.com
Reddit.com
Tagza.com
Fark.com
Newsvine.com
Furl.net
swik.net
Connotea.org
Sphinn.com
Blinklist.com
Faves.com
Mister-wong.com
Spurl.net
Netvouz.com
Diigo.com
Backflip.com
Rawsugar.com
Bibsonomy.org
Folkd.com
Linkagogo.com
Indianpad.com
Plugim.com
Myjeeves.ask.com
Buddy Marks
Connectedy
MyLinkVault
Google Bookmarks
Jumptags.com
Fetch
OYAX
A1 Webmarks
Bookmark Tracker
myVmarks
Mixx.com
Wirefan.com
Danogo.com
Links Marker
Symbaloo
Ximmy
Health Ranker
Ka-Boom-It.com


^^maybe some article writing...

Ezinearticles.com
Articledashboard.com
Goarticles.com
Articlecity.com
Easyarticles.com
Articlealley.com
Articlebiz.com
Ideamarketers.com
Articlecube.com

^^Vid's have high pr, so record a couple -

Sclipo
Sumo.tv
Youtube
Google
Dailymotion
Blip
Metacafe
Yahoo
Facebook
Myspace
Vimeo
Revver
Veoh
Vsocial
Photobucket
Putfile

(mass submission could be a good idea, but do the big boys manually...youtube, google, etc)

^^ Landers, opt in, RSS


Build a link funnel with the above, all leading back to your blog.

Why not your main website? The blog is the beast, the powerhouse, whereas your main site should be considered with more care and precision. The purpose of the blog is to find the traffic, and get in front of it. Have you ever tried stepping in front of a freight train? Just as in life, you may only get one shot to make the correct decision.

Then, you delicately use that power to sort your incoming traffic by needs. Teaser content for each tail that sorts the target incoming traffic will gladly link to the appropriate presentation for your product. In short, same product, twelve different ways to market it and presentations. Each, crafted carefully, will appeal to a certain genre of your market.

This way, people have searched for that tail already, so they have the desire, you give them the solution, make things exciting with the benefits (it's about their luck, NOT YOURS!). That should pull like a mofo compared to a generic "wanna be lucky?" page.

 

[mtnman]

I forgot about Grazr too. Stick your feed in there and below for some long tails, and you should be golden.

Friendfeed.com
Lifestream.fm
Editaste.com
Profilactic.com
Feedraider.com
Feedage.com
Feedfury.com
Rrss2.com
Feedest.com
Bloglines.com
Feedshow.com
Letsprove.com

 

[PEERless]

WOW! The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know. I will be decoding some of the above for a while now, but I know how much time and value you just gave me. THANK YOU! Rep+

 

[Allthingznew]

Just a heads up: The word "luck" in your title is cut off in both Safari and Firefox Mac browsers.

 

[PEERless]

Thanks. No idea how to fix it, but thanks...

 

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[PEERless]

I'm no longer protective of this idea. Anyone know how to move it out of the private speedway, so I can get more feedback?

 

[Beepers]

Hi

I looked at your sales page. I'll try and be gentle...
The trouble is you have:

Not put yourself in the position of an unlucky person.
You have no proof.
You have no guarantee.
No testimonials.
No free bonuses.
Not created any value.
No PS - 2nd most widely read factor on a sales page

Sell me on the benefits to be had by buying your book.
Your headline does not intrigue me enough to make
me want to read on.

80% of an ad's success is the headline.

Interesting subject though. Is there a market for this?

cheers mark

 

[PEERless]

THANKS VERY MUCH for the detailed analysis! I will begin phasing in your suggestions through split testing right away. Rep+.

 

[PEERless]

In response...

Not put yourself in the position of an unlucky person. True. I was too busy trying to sound like an expert on luck. I need to think about what the unlucky person wants to hear.
You have no proof. Will my own lucky stories help. What if I give away too much of my book content?
You have no guarantee. Should I add a money back guarantee if my readers don't suddenly get lucky?
No testimonials. I have those two quotes with pictures of pretty girls at the bottom.
No free bonuses. What should I add? A bookmark?
Not created any value. Can I dollarize the benefit?
No PS - 2nd most widely read factor on a sales page Yikes. I don't know that that is.
Interesting subject though. Is there a market for this? I think so. I am chasing the readers of The Secret, etc. Also getting lots of interest from card players.

 

[Beepers]

Hello Peerless

True. I was too busy trying to sound like an expert on luck. I need to think about what the unlucky person wants to hear. Yes you need to think how an unlucky person thinks.

Will my own lucky stories help. What if I give away too much of my book content?
No they won't. You need to write as if YOU were unlucky so the person can relate to your story. And then you made this chance discovery which made you lucky overnight.
So the reader thinks if he can do it so can I.

Should I add a money back guarantee if my readers don't suddenly get lucky?
Definitely.

I have those two quotes with pictures of pretty girls at the bottom.
You need quotes like
I was unlucky all my life until I read this book. Since then I've won the lottery etc
That type of testimonial.

What should I add? A bookmark?
Add some bonus reports.
How to win at cards or some public domain books.

It's interesting you've got card players biting. Perhaps you should JV with online poker websites....

cheers mark

 

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[yveskleinsky]

Should I add a money back guarantee if my readers don't suddenly get lucky?
Definitely.

I came across a site the other day where many of the members were tracking law of attraction type money that had entered their life. All they had to do was receit some sort of mantra several times, look at it every morning and concentrate on the Universe giving them money. The site's goal was to get over $1m in intentioned money. I really found this approach to be excellent marketing for the site. Members were posting how much they found, and if they thought their intention had worked. (On a quick side note, I did not do the exercise, but later that day I was driving down the street- and there was money just blowing down the street! There were some other people standing around but no one else seemed to notice. I hopped out of my car, turns out it was only $3, but still $3 blowing down the street- kinda weird. If I had done the exercise, I would probably place some sort of stock in his message. Since I didn't, I had to chuckle as think about how many times random money crosses your path. ...Found change in the sofa, a rebate check for your car insurance, etc.)

Point being, I think you could do something similar on your site. This way you'll get tons of credibility and can circulate your message fast, as people like to take a challenge and feel part of a group- not like they are stupid for believing your message.

..I wouldn't offer a refund of anykind, as luck is subjective.

How's everything coming by the way?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Here's a free white paper that concerns salesletters, particularly of Ebooks ... it is quite a long read and makes a few points, but it highlights one item you should be using to increase conversion.

http://www.successdoctor.com/books/deathofthesalesletter.pdf

 

[PEERless]

What should I add? A bookmark?
Add some bonus reports.
How to win at cards or some public domain books.
...Perhaps you should JV with online poker websites....

They'll aready get a free chapter (which is free for me). I can't be throwing in somebody else's stuff for free. What'll happen to my margin? Also, what does do PS and JV mean?

I came across a site the other day where many of the members were tracking law of attraction type money that had entered their life...I wouldn't offer a refund of anykind, as luck is subjective.
How's everything coming by the way?

Was it Steve Pavlina's Million Dollar Experiment? I like it. I may model it! Things are good, thanks for asking. I feel good about the value of my content, now I'm adding some plot to make it a fun read.

it highlights one item you should be using to increase conversion.

LOL. Thanks for the suspense. It made me click... now I'm wading through 51 pages.

 

[PEERless]

MJ, you made me feel really old-fashioned. I just printed that white paper out!

 

[PEERless]

Beepers, have a look at my new and improved sales page. I have added the following:
-Narrative that I was really unlucky until I learned the big secret,
-A money-back guarantee,
-3 awesome bonuses (excel spreadsheets, awesome bookmark, and a consulting session) plus my free chapter

Still working on phasing in the other suggestions you and MJ had. Lemme know if there's anything on the new page that's really turning you off.

 

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[Beepers]

Hi Peerless

Well your second version is better.
However you need to get rid of your first sentence.
Order LUCK-STRUCK

You should not be asking for the order so early on a sales page.
It's like "Here's my product. Buy it"
Which of course is what you want. But you can't do that.

You gotta seduce your customer FIRST. Show empathy. Be a friend to them.
In other words use some damn foreplay.

How to Take Control and Create your own
Your actual headline above is incomplete. I guess you're missing the word Luck.
On it's own it's not a bad headline. A How to...headline is always good.

However you can add some intrigue and curiosity to your headline for sure.

Remember you only have 4/5 seconds before your reader hits their BACK button.

Now your story is good. But you need to go into greater detail.

get rid of your phone number. people ain't going to phone you up. Why? Because they're terrified they're going to be sold to.
Why should I give you my email address? Bribe me!

Your intro. Needs to be smoother and more in tune with the reader. You've got to enter the conversation going on in your prospect's mind.

Your writing needs to be more emotional. People buy on emotion. Then justify with logic.

Also

CONGRATULATIONS!
You have taken the first step toward improving your luck and becoming Luck-Struck!
​

You are probably familiar with the saying:​

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."​

-Seneca the Younger, Stoic Philosopher, 1st Century A.D.​

To have good luck, you have to be prepared, and you have to find opportunities...
Luck-Struck will change your life by​

so there you go

cheers mark

 

[yveskleinsky]

I really, really like what you've done to your site.

 

[Beepers]

Oh yeah

You don't have any bullets to fascinate me either.

eg off the top of my head...

One little known five word sentence which when you think about last thing at night
gives you lucky money the next day. You'll be amazed at the 'lucky' results the first time you use this secret technique.

see what I mean peerless?

You want to drive your reader 'mad' with frustration because he wants to know wht that secret sentence is.

cheers mark

PS people will buy purely on the strength of one bullet.

 

[Jorge]

Red buttons! Don't forget that!

 

[Dejan M]

Here are some basics for writing sales page/letter:

12-Step Foolproof Sales Letter Template

 

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[Allthingznew]

With the Mac as a large and growing segment of the population, if I were you I'd find someone who could help make sure it looks right to all your Mac visitors too. Sorry, I don't know how either, other than to make adjustment on a Mac and look at the pages in Window too. Just a thought to put on your to do list.

 

[yveskleinsky]

++rep Beepers. GREAT response- your ideas are so right on!

Oh yeah

You don't have any bullets to fascinate me either.

eg off the top of my head...

One little known five word sentence which when you think about last thing at night
gives you lucky money the next day. You'll be amazed at the 'lucky' results the first time you use this secret technique.

see what I mean peerless?

You want to drive your reader 'mad' with frustration because he wants to know wht that secret sentence is.

cheers mark

PS people will buy purely on the strength of one bullet.

 

[PEERless]

Hi Peerless Well your second version is better. However...

Beepers: WELCOME to the forum, and THANK YOU! You are going to accelerate quickly with thoughtful, helpful posts like that! I hope we can return the favor for you. I will begin adding your new suggestions today.

I really, really like what you've done to your site.

Thank you. I have been getting some great help!

Red buttons! Don't forget that!

LOLZ. OK... I'll try to figure that out.

Here are some basics for writing sales page/letterhttp://www.businessknowhow.com/marketing/salestempl.htm

Thanks!

With the Mac as a large and growing segment of the population...

I'll get there when I can. Mac-users are 12.8% of my visitors. (Yay, Analytics!)

Anyway, thanks you all. THIS FORUM IS AMAZING! :thankyousign:

 

[PEERless]

Also, do you guys like 2-page setup? I like the idea of getting the prospect to start saying "yes" to small things before being thrown into my whole pitch.

...Or should the landing page BE the sales page to keep the "funnel" as wide as possible?

 

[PEERless]

The article Dejan M posted was amazing. I am trying to incorporate all twelve steps in my page, though steps 1 and 2 are on the landing page now.

 

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[Beepers]

News Flash: Life is NOT Fair!
​

Luck Drives Your Life!​

Peerless

The above is not a headline. It's a statement. It does not offer the reader a reward for reading. It does not arouse my curiousity. So you've instantly lost your reader. Never to return again.
Try something along the lines of

How an Unlucky Kid From Idaho Seperated Himself From The Herd And Discovered The One Big Secret which Can Automatically Make You Lucky With Money, Women, Business and Life.​

You'll be amazed how quickly and easily your luck changes
using this simple secret....

Now do you see you've added intrigue, drama, there's a benefit to the reader.
Try writing your headline now.

Google the 100 best headlines.


cheers Mark

 

[Dejan M]

The article Dejan M posted was amazing.

It really is. I´m writing my sales letter directly according to the article. :smx9:

 

[PEERless]

Thanks again guys.