Control your thoughts

[Kirsov]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing good.
Here is the situation: I want to change my thoughts. I want advices as per your experience and book recommendations if you have any.
Thanks

 

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[RayAndré]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing good.
Here is the situation: I want to change my thoughts. I want advices as per your experience and book recommendations if you have any.
Thanks

Man...this is EXACTLY where I was years ago, so I really relate.
I wasn't able to control my wandering mind...and it liked to wander to all the wrong places.

For me, it was a massive, automatic problem that was affecting everything. So much so that I've gone down so many rabbit holes, changed my psyche and learned so much, that I am fascinated by it - I'm building my business out of everything I've learned.

For you, well I don't know you. If you share more details you can get more specific advice. But for now I'll suggest you start where I started: meditation. Just trust me and start. Make it a habit. If you want to literally change how your mind is working then meditation is where you come face to face with it.

You can try to overwrite it in certain scenarios but eventually those deep beliefs and our past experiences that drive our thoughts will eventually bubble back up...and then you're back to square one.

 

[Kirsov]

Man...this is EXACTLY where I was years ago, so I really relate.
I wasn't able to control my wandering mind...and it liked to wander to all the wrong places.

For me, it was a massive, automatic problem that was affecting everything. So much so that I've gone down so many rabbit holes, changed my psyche and learned so much, that I am fascinated by it - I'm building my business out of everything I've learned.

For you, well I don't know you. If you share more details you can get more specific advice. But for now I'll suggest you start where I started: meditation. Just trust me and start. Make it a habit. If you want to literally change how your mind is working then meditation is where you come face to face with it.

You can try to overwrite it in certain scenarios but eventually those deep beliefs and our past experiences that drive our thoughts will eventually bubble back up...and then you're back to square one.

Thank you for your time.
I practice mindfulness meditation every day. It helps me boost my mood and stay more relaxed, but my thinking stays the same.
Here is an example:
-Thought number 1: I eat food for satisfaction.
-Thought number 2: I eat food for energy.
Thought number 1 is ingrained in my subconscious. What I want to do is that I want to make Thought number 2 be ingrained in my subconscious, overwriting Thought number 1. Now, the result is: Instead of me eating for satisfaction, I eat for energy as this is what my thought is, this is how I am programmed.

Another example:
-Thought number 1: I cannot win big.
-Thought number 2: I win big.
Thought number 1 is the thought which is currently in my subconscious. I want to input Thought number 2 in my subconscious to overwrite Thought number 1.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

Contrary to the title of your thread, it’s not possible to control your thoughts, in fact it’s not even desireable.

Much of your thinking is automatic, simply a reaction to your environment, a selection and processing of relevant information that may be useful for you.

You CAN however develop focus, for example. That is the ability to stay concentrated on one stimuli, without getting distracted by other thoughts or stimuli.

That is what you learn through mindfulness. But as you correctly noticed, mindfulness does NOT change your thoughts.

Now it sounds like one of the things you lack is confidence. Confidence is developed through experience. If you’ve never bench pressed anything, you won’t be confident you can bench press 100kg. Nor should you be confident, because you lack experience.

So you’re never going to feel confident until you gain experience and get good at whatever task you’re dealing with. There is no way to skip the hard work and endurance of tough emotions and get the confidence. The confidence isn’t there at the beginning, it’s the end result of learning a new skill.

I’m confident that I can grow digital agencies. Why? Because I’ve done it for myself and many many other people. The confidence isn’t a result of my mindset or other bullshit, it’s a result of my experience. The first time I did it, I wasn’t confident.

 

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[Chet Shen]

I agree with @Black_Dragon43 and @RayAndré here. Thinking is automated with your current beliefs and biases. You can't control your thoughts as they are affected by your environment e.g. the people around you, the friends you have, the social media you consume, etc.

What you can do however is to develop habits that are positive and good. Meditation is a great example and a habit that you're doing right now, it increases focus and mindfulness but it doesnt really help you CONTROL your thoughts. Workout often as working out does wonders to your mind too. Increases confidence, mental capacity, critical thought etc.

I suggest asking yourself if the environment that you're in is affecting you? Any friends that share the same thoughts as you?

 

[Kirsov]

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[Chet Shen]

Sadly, my environment is bad for sucess. I am not able to move to another location due to lack of money.
Thanks for the reply.

That's not what I mean when I say environment, it's not only the physical places, it can be the people around you too. Elaborate more, what do you mean by your environment is bad for success? Are people being too pessimistic towards life? Are the sun not shining enough? Be a little more specific

 

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[Kirsov]

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[Chet Shen]

No, the weather is fine. It is about the people. They are 'jealous'. They do things to prevent me from doing my things. They are bad influence. They want me to have a low-status life.

How are they doing that? Do you have any examples? How are they preventing you? How do you now they want you to have a low status in life?

Are the people physically stopping you to pursue your dreams? Is it your parents? Coworkers? Friends?

 

[Kirsov]

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[RayAndré]

One thing I DO want to say though - is YES you CAN change the automatic thoughts.

Automatic (negative) thoughts come from old beliefs formed at early ages, mental habits that we thought over and over and over again (for any reason).

And I think, NO you shouldn't live with your mind this way.
I did for along time, until I decided enough was enough. An uncontrollable negative mind is one of the worst most crippling things.
I'm grateful to say I've done the work enough to have changed my internal script.

You CAN change it - BUT, like both @Black_Dragon43 and @Lawtiti mentioned, "mindfulness" meditation will not change your thoughts. You need a better tool than "mindfulness" for that.

 

[JordanK]

Why does the Prime Minister care enough about you to actively try to sabotage your life?