Continue with them or go my own way ?

[Aryeh]

It depends on how you read OP’s message.

It is good to say that you want to hang out with driven, purposeful and disciplined people. Because you feel that you benefit from it and it keeps you feel motivated.

I just don’t like the assumption that “slowlane, sidewalk” = unambitious and hence bad accompany.

You can be a disciplined professional runner who barely support yourself financially.

You can be a doctor or investment banker who has the discipline to clock grueling hours at work without complaint.

In my case they are people without ambition who simply aspire to a quiet and "normal" life, without shocks. The classic script: study, get good grades and find a good job to pay the bills.

 

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[Aryeh]

So what?

MOVE. What country are you moving to? Where are you in that process?

Why are you so focused on them being somehow "lesser"? You decision has nothing to do with "them".

You didn't answer my original question. What are you doing TODAY to move your forward towards your goals?

If you don't have answers to that question, then all this "debate" about "what kind of friends should I have" is just action faking.

Their scripting is not your problem. Their scripting isn't holding you back.

You are holding you back. Get to work.

I'm currently preparing the legal documents to set up an online marketing company, but I'm thinking of moving out. In fact, I've done some research online to get information.
What I want to understand is whether to continue to maintain relations with them or not, given the differences in views.

 

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[Aryeh]

These are not ambitious goals when you compare to like entrepreneurship journals and hustling that is glorified in the start-up space.

But I feel that there is an underestimation of the effort and determination to stay afloat to get a normal life these days.

A standard family of a working couple, two young children, normal paycheck these days with apartment and car loans usually means endless hustling with not enough time to sleep.

Life by nature is hard. Entrepreneurship just add in more sacrifices and difficulty.

The slowlane script (get good grade and find good job) isn’t easy. Try attending night mba classes after work and find time to drink with your boss to suck up to him.

These are life options that you don’t have to convince them and they don’t have to convince you either.

Clearly I know that a normal life has its difficulties as well as a Fastlane life has more. However, the reward in the second case will be greater, and I sincerely do not want to settle for a normal life.

 

[Aryeh]

You can go meet new people without totally shutting out the "old" people.

It was a possibility I had considered but I wouldn't be so sure nor motivated to keep in touch. Between the two groups, surely the "new" ones would be the ones to get more out of.

 

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[GuestR401x3]

In my case they are people without ambition who simply aspire to a quiet and "normal" life, without shocks.

Never burn bridges, if you want to spend more time around people that inspire you do it.

There's nothing wrong with having a good time with friends, even if you have different goals.

Remember Happiness > Money

 

[Mavrick614]

@S.M. hit me up, I went thru a similar struggle and ended up with a group of much more entrprnuerial focused individuals.

It's much easier for me to communicate with them about all facets of life because they understand the struggle and speak the same language. They will also help you over hurdles and overcome problems in a way that others can't.

 

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[woken]

I think OP is not busy enough.

There needs to be a balance. You don’t need to get rid of your friends. If your ambitions keep you busy you’ll have no time to meet up anyways.

 

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[Busy24s]

I hang out with a group of friends. Together we have a good relationship,however they are all either sidewalkers or slowlaners. Their only ambition is to stay and live in their country/region,get a job,get a paycheck.My ambitions (also because I attend this forum) are inevitably different from theirs,and do not match theirs at all.What to do ? Continue with them or go my own way ?

If they are "good people" keep them, however at a reasonable distance. I don't think many people understand how influential friends are. Here below are two hypothetical examples of how you could be influenced.

Example 1: You're working a demanding full time job, and so are your friends. After work they rush home to go and "relax", and on Fridays and weekends they go out clubbing and etc.

Example 2: You're working a demanding full time job, and so are your friends. However, these friends spend their evenings after work learning a new skill/ or actively pursuing ways to advance themselves in their career.

Being honest, do you really think both examples would have the same influence on you?

 

[Providence]

Such an awful cliche.

No wonder successful people are often lonely. Too many people propogate this myth.

First off, the five people you spend the most time with, as an entrepreneur, is often either your family or your employees. So you're the average of 3 kids and a partner? The average of your top employees?

Taken literally, this triteness makes no sense.

Sure, it is great to be in rooms with people smarter or more successful than you. But how much time do you really get with people like that? They've got their own lives too. And it gets harder to do as everyone gets older and more settled.

But people act like Musk, Jobs, Gates, Bezos, and Buffet all hang out with only each other and that's how they got to be so grrrrreat. Puh-lease.

Sure, some people "hold you back", if you let them.

Those same people are often the best ones to "keep you grounded".

It's all perspective. Truly, we can't answer this question for you

If you have real friends, not just "people I hang out with", but I'm talking true blue philos-love level friends, don't cut those people from your life for any reason. Maybe you spend less time while you pursue your dreams, and you'll know they're there for you when they celebrate your successes.

If these are just "friends for now" then so what? What's wrong with having beers with sidewalkers and sharing some laughs?

Ultimately the only one holding you back from your dreams is you.

If you have bigger dreams than your friends what are you doing to pursue them? What action can you take today to make those dreams a reality?

That's what you need to worry about...

Different perspective but true to the Heart, heck i keep a few sidewalks around(not too close) just to know what's happening in dey circles

 

[UlmerHere]

Thanks for the feedback. The problem is that they want to live a let's say "normal" life, not moving from their region, finding a job there and continuing to hang out with the same people. This goes absolutely against my intentions, which would be to go and live abroad and settle there. Moreover, I have the feeling that in this way I could find better people and live more experiences.
I also think that they would not understand or believe in the Fastlane philosophy.

I personally think you overestimate the importance of your friends and surroundings having the same philosophy as you. So you think and act differently from them regarding work, so what? I think it's valuable to try to receive different kinds of quality time from different kinds of people and develop the different aspects of your personality in this way. These aren't supposed to be your work buddies or employees, so who cares if they want to live a slow "normal" life?

 

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