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thechosen1

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The discussion about motorcycles is too true.

You might be the best biker in the world but it only takes one distracted driver to rear end you at a red light and end your life forever! I don’t trust others enough to hop on the bike.

I’m also a strong believer in guns and I do go hunting occasionally but I am VERY picky on who I hunt with or go shooting with. It only takes one careless person in the group to turn a great experience into a nightmare!
 
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Manfern

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Interesting story, I don't think it's a choice problem though, because what right choice can be when you are drunk?
It's simply bad discipline, normal reasonable person will avoid driving in this condition,
gave keys to sober person or hide it.

This summer my friend got into a car crash after drunk driving and injured himself badly, now he is with a scar for whole head and he deserves it, so is the guy from the story, it's harsh and it's just reality:)

Even bad choice can be valuable if you learned the lesson from it, many people will blame someone else or external conditions to avoid feeling bad.

This book will change your life and helps to get on right track cause it's possible to live well without alcohol and other painkillers(I'm sober for 4 months now)
 
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Cool_Llama

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This ultimately led to me selling my motorcycle and replacing with a street legal side x side. There is no margin for error and too many idiots on the road. One negligent 7 seconds and you're dead. At least in a car, you can walk away with some bumps and bruises. A motorcycle, you likely won't.
No joke.

I was traveling to Florida from Texas and I saw a horrible crash with one of the parties being someone in a motorcycle.

It wasn't a pretty scene.
 

BestDayYet

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I lost a friend due to an accident. He was driving while texting with his smartphone. He was only 17…

I am guilty of text driving - sometimes with my kid at the back...

This thread is the perfect reminder of how STUPID and CARELESS I have been.

I promise to do my very best to remember the D.A.R.E. concept every time I am behind the wheel.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I promise to do my very best to remember the D.A.R.E. concept every time I am behind the wheel.

Excellent. Then this thread is doing its job.

This chapter in your book hit home for me. In my industry, there are parties, social events, alcohol. I don't mind a few cocktails over networking. But one too many can have a life-altering impact, for not only me but also for someone's loved one. One night after coming home late on the train I was walking to my truck. I was "fine" so I thought and only a mile from my house. But I remembered the chapter in your book and walked home instead.

Tim, this truly means a lot to me. Probably moreso than, "I read fastlane and made $10M!!" -- who knows what such a small, powerful decision (walking home) has led to, or I should say, not led to.
 

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For those of you wondering how you can possibly help, this is a GoFundMe on behalf of the victim's family left behind:


They are almost to their goal.
 

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Mattie

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I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Amen.. I agree 100%. Many people don't think about how one choice can impact not just one person's life, but many people's lives. I'm sorry, to hear about the situation. I hope the person, and two families get through this in a positive way. It's a difficult situation to be in.

It is definitely a wake up call. I do believe often, people don't understand why I make choices the way I do, but I always try to make smart choices the best of my ability at the time. We have to make tough choices sometimes. This is not always about personal desires, wants, or needs, and bit of self-discipline. It does only take one time, and things can get out of control and end up in a bad situation.

We always have a choice to participate or not participate in certain activities, environments, and certain situations.
 

Omsubedi

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It is tragic how many people never think of consequences of their actions. Thank you MJ for the text you sent. Without the text with the direct link I would have never found it. I acted to your call, and now they have exceeded their goal.
 

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quicksort

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Family member was involved in a head-on collision with a drunk driver who was driving in the wrong lane. Damaged face, one heel shattered, some vertebrates shattered.

Will never walk properly. Will always be reliant on painkillers with awful side effects to try to dull some of the constant pain they've had for years and will have for the rest of their life.

The drunk driver walked away with a broken finger.

Some things aren't just asymmetric downsides for you but for other people.
 

Osterlie

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I write this with a heavy heart.

It has come to my attention that a forum member with some pretty good post history was recently involved in a tragedy that resulted in the death of innocent person due to this person's alleged negligence. In short, alleged drunk driving and driving the wrong way on a freeway. The result of this poor decision was someone was killed, and this person arrested and possibly charged with some serious offenses.

In short, many lives have been destroyed due to ONE POOR DECISION.

While it is difficult for me to write this post, it needs to be done because it just might SAVE LIVES. And if it saves lives, it will save a lot of other lives from the tragedy and turmoil that will certainly follow -- not just for the victim and his family, but the person who made the poor choice.

This was a topic in my recent book and had its own chapter.

I called it a Downside Asymmetric Risk Event... how 1 bad choice can erase 100s of good choices, and irrevocably change your life forever. And others.

I'm going to post the chapter here for your reading.

Again, I wasn't sure if I should post this but then thought, if this thread can SAVE ONE LIFE (and many others) then it is worth it.

D.A.R.E stands for "Downside Asymmetric Risk Event" -- here is the chapter.



As for who this is, I will NOT post this person's real name or username simply because it won't change what happened. If that information is important to you, you are welcome to seek your own channels for that information. Please don't post it here, news reports, or anything else. Again, it won't change what happened and put things back to normal.

Bottomline, our actions and their consequences can extend to other people beyond ourselves. THINK before you ACT. When I think about this incident and how many lives that will never be same, you truly learn to respect the gravity of our choices.

A truly sad, devastating, and tragic situation.

Be smart people, stay safe, and learn how to spot DAREs that can fire because of ONE bad choice.... one day it might save your life, or someone else.


EDIT: Here is a link to the memorial fund for the victim. If you feel it in your heart, please donate a few dollars.

Hmmm. Really sad…
 
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theag

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I have zero respect and sympathy for drunk drivers. Hope the piece of shit gets what he deserves.

And yes, this linkage was approved by me. The original post has been edited to include as well...
Just fyi, although well intended, with the information in that link it takes about 20sec to find out the real name and another 10sec for the username on the forum.
 

Ing

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I ve been driving about 4 million km in my life. Still about 50k a year. I often drive fast and I had some drives with alkohol. So I know all aspects of that drive - theme.

At a point I decided to change the Porsche to a SUV. A good decision!

Driving with alkohol is shit!
Driving fast depends. Not every fast driver is more dangerous than a slow driver without practice.
Driving fast without much driving practice is as bad as driving with drugs/alkohol.

Dont justice the driver without knowing the exact facts!

and stay allways cool and friendly!
 

Black_Dragon43

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Wow how sad... driving, like all of life is dangerous. That doesn't mean not to drive (and I say this as someone for whom driving is almost the only phobia I have left lol), IMO, but it does mean that one should be as careful as possible when doing it. Drunk driving is extremely foolish.
 

Antifragile

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Just fyi, although well intended, with the information in that link it takes about 20sec to find out the real name and another 10sec for the username on the forum.

Yup. Not entirely sure the reasons for secrecy, it is a fact and with a victim name, is now public knowledge. It happened… things are never going to be the same. It’s a lesson to all of us, a reminder to many.
 

theag

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Yup. Not entirely sure the reasons for secrecy, it is a fact and with a victim name, is now public knowledge. It happened… things are never going to be the same. It’s a lesson to all of us, a reminder to many.
I agree with the secrecy. This thread shouldn't be about the person who did this (or even the victim, as sad as it is), but about the message. And its a pretty important one.
 

socaldude

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Here is something that might help someone. You need a preventative system in your mind.

You can actually simulate your action or response to any stimulus in your mind. It’s just a matter of your creativity and discipline. A kind of prima facie stimulus response system.
 

thechosen1

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I feel sorry for both victim and driver... I'm sure the driver feels an incredible amount of guilt right now and to me, that would be very hard (it was an accident, after all). I agree that we should try to keep that info private if possible.
 

SteveO

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I agree with the secrecy. This thread shouldn't be about the person who did this (or even the victim, as sad as it is), but about the message. And its a pretty important one.
Didn't intend to keep this secret. Just wanted to let a couple things play out first.
 

CaptainAmerica

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My first husband ran to the store a mile away to get the paper during Sunday dinner at his parents house. It was only a mile, and a Sunday, so he didn’t wear his seat belt.

He survived, barely, with a personality-changing TBI. I lost my husband, and the entire trajectory of my life was tossed around like a paper boat for awhile.

I’m kind of a seatbelt freak now.
 

Boogie

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A guy who used to work for me called me once at 3AM crying that he had just been notified by the police that his sister had died.

When the facts came out, she had just finished college. She had been heads down all through school so she and her friend went out to celebrate getting through.

She crossed over into incoming traffic. She, her friend, and all the members of a Mexican family in a pickup truck died. I think there were 6 in the truck.

He told me the impact was so great that the two vehicles were fused together and all of them probably died on impact.

My employee ended up inheriting her kids. She was divorced and her ex was a piece of sh*t. When he found out she was gone, he tried to drain her bank accounts.

It's tough. I think a lot of people don't even know how drunk they are when they get behind the wheel. They let themselves get past the point of reason before stopping.

I don't drink very often, but when I do, I stop at 2 or 3 beers. No exceptions. Then if it's at a bar (my friend owns a craft beer bar) or a family home and I am driving, I stay there and talk or watch TV at least 2-3 hours after that to make sure I have no issues. I also down a couple sodas or water during that time as well. If it has to be less time then that, then my wife will come get me. I've just known too many people who have either died or been pretty ripped up in their accidents.

As someone mentioned earlier in the thread, we avoid travelling on holidays, particularly after typical drinking hours. It hit home the most when I was at my wife's parent's house when we were dating. Two older couples were out partying for St. Pats day and drove off the road into my brother-in-law's car at the end of the driveway.
 

thechosen1

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No, an accident implies that nobody was at fault. This was very much someone's fault after an idiotic decision to pilot a vehicle after ingesting intoxicants.
No, I just mean it was not intentional killing. It does not excuse the actions. I just meant that the man did not go out and kill someone on purpose... I am sure he feels very, very guilty right now and I just hope he's not being pushed towards a ledge by this discussion.

Also, I believe justice will be served...He will likely have a very harsh sentence. Which is appropriate, because this is horrible. I just... Feel sorry for him too. Even though it was his fault. Hard to explain.

Sometimes people do things intentionally to cause harm - evil things - and other times, people do careless things.

Doesn't excuse the choices of course.
 
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NajTheDon

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I remember when I used to text and drive quite a bit, one thing that always got me to stop was remembering Mj's story about him racing (if I'm not mistaken) and how one bad decision could cost you & or someone else's life. Every time I get that urge to grab my phone I remember that. Thank you.
 
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Antifragile

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No, I just mean it was not intentional killing. It does not excuse the actions. I just meant that the man did not go out and kill someone on purpose... I am sure he feels very, very guilty right now and I just hope he's not being pushed towards a ledge by this discussion.

Also, I believe justice will be served...He will likely have a very harsh sentence. Which is appropriate, because this is horrible. I just... Feel sorry for him too. Even though it was his fault. Hard to explain.

Sometimes people do things intentionally to cause harm - evil things - and other times, people do careless things.

Doesn't excuse the choices of course.
I know exactly what you mean and think the same way.

1. Drinking and driving is not excusable. I do not condone drinking and driving. Do not do it, ever, period.
2. One horrible choice does not define the whole person. We are not defined by one or two actions. No matter how severe the outcome. And yes, of course, the pain and suffering of the family, friends of the victim is intolerable. This act is unforgivable and the person will have to suffer the consequences of this act. I am just saying try (if you can find it in you) not to judge another human by one action. There is more to him (and all of us) than that.

Use this as an example of what not to do. This isn’t just some bad business decision. This costs a life and impacted many other lives forever! Do something in your circle of influence to ensure this doesn’t happen to anyone you know. Yes, including you.

And if you can find it in yourself (especially friends of this person, who I do not know) try not to judge. Get the full story and even then, remember that none of us are perfect.

I repeat, I do not condone this act and this type of behaviour, just shining light into another corner.
 

Ronak

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I don't know the details or specific context, but another thought comes to mind, particularly relevant to this forum: success or perceived success is a major intoxicant. When you start getting "high" on it, you feel like you're on top of the world and invincible. Hence, the poor actions of some executives, celebrities, etc. It's important to stay grounded in failure. Much more important and difficult to do the same in success.
 

KindRibEye

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That never occurred to me. Not that I’m ever out that late, but I’ll bear it in mind in future.

It's good advice.

I'll add that even sober people on the road at 3 AM are not driving with the full skill and attention that they would have at 3 in the afternoon.

My dear wife got hit twice by tired drivers once upon a time when she was working late shifts are the hospital. Both incidents between 3 and 4 AM.
 

Red

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No, I just mean it was not intentional killing. It does not excuse the actions.
I got'cha. Thanks for clarifying & sorry for jumping to angry conclusions on you. I'm a bit reactive to this story because I've lost a lot of people prematurely in this life... some of them due to others negligent & careless actions. I'm trying to keep a level head about me, but it's honestly challenging in regard to this story. But that's on me.
 

SteveO

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It's good advice.

I'll add that even sober people on the road at 3 AM are not driving with the full skill and attention that they would have at 3 in the afternoon.

My dear wife got hit twice by tired drivers once upon a time when she was working late shifts are the hospital. Both incidents between 3 and 4 AM.
I worked third shift many years ago. Found that the best time to sleep was on my way home.
 

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