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Can I Have Friends ?

JPDeCarvalho

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I'm wondering here if it's possible to build a business and have friends .
I see many entrepenours saying "HUSTLE". Gary Vee says " close your eyes for 10 years and just work". I was thinking... if I have to work for 5 years in order to be rich , losing my friends , not having experiences with girls , not partying ... I don't know if it's worth anymore...


PS: I'm 18 years old ...

Update : Thanks for the feedback ! I decided that I'm not going to left my relationships behind ( family and friends) , BUT I'm not going to give up either . I can totally do both . I have 24 hours in a day , seven days a week . That's it ! Thanks again .

For the ones who think that you should not have friends & relationships , what are you gonna do with your money if you don't have friends? lol Hapiness is only real when shared , fortunatelly it's possible to manage the time( sleeping less and other resources) in order to have balanced life !
 

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Rawseed

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No one can prioritize your life for you. You have to figure out what's most important to you.

When I was 18 years old, an older gentleman told me "Boy, you'll lose lots of money chasing women, but you won't lose any women chasing money."

I didn't listen to him. I wish I had. He was right.

That being said, I'd recommend you wake up two hours early and work your a$$ off on your business. Two hours of focused 'Deep Work' a day. Then you can spend the rest of the day being a teenager.

Do it before you go to school or work. Give your best two hours everyday to your Fastlane Business.

PS: Please don't take offense to my above quote. Boy can easily be changed to girl. And women can easily be changed to men.
 

Rawseed

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Also, partying can be market research. People love to talk. So, listen to them. Their problems and wishes are your opportunities.

Just don't count that 'market research' time as part of your two hours of 'Deep Work'.
 

Fastlane Liam

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I think its good for developing social skills,

I take what Garyvee says with a pinch of salt,
He didn't have friends/partying because he was working his a$$ off. Its the result of working his a$$ off - not the other way round

He didn't cut out everything first before ever doing any work

Im sort of guilty of this type of thinking, hope you can learn from it.
 

Brian Suh

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Your younger years are a very imperative and influential part of your life. How you spend your 20's will determine the rest of your life. If you love what you do, putting in the work won't be a problem. Fun, girls, and partying can distract you from the important things in life and life will then degenerate into the process of finding that other dopamine hit instead of the process of facing reality and doing the hard painful work in order to get you to where you want to be.
Sure, partying at your friends house with a bunch of girls is cool. You know what else is cool? Partying with a bunch of victoria secret models up in the clear blue waters of greece with other successful cool people when you are in your early 30's because you put in the time to put yourself into that position. You think thats impossible? Not at all. Put in the work now and make yourself into a F*cking kickass person and this world is yours, son. Take your pick.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Listen...

Life is not so black and white.

Just because you're FOR something doesn't mean you're automatically AGAINST something else.

I know lots of people who have a job, a business, a relationship, and kids... and they still travel and have a great life!

I know other people who have a business only and are constantly lonely... some people have a relationship and wish they didn't have to "sacrifice" their relationship for something they really want to do...

These are all just stories we tell ourselves.

Are you going to live the story or man up and start living your life?

You really can have it all.
 

WJK

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When I was very young (in the early 1970s), I went to the Fashion Institute in Los Angeles. The other girls made fun of me because I worked and I went to school. They partied and had a good time. I met a couple of them around the time I was 40. I was successful, and they were in trouble. They had married "Mr. Right," and I had built a career. At the mid-life moment, their husbands were running off with the office bimbo or someone younger. They had kids, bills and no prospects. Each told me how lucky I was to have a good career. I didn't slap them up-side their heads, but I sure thought about it. Life will teach you what you need know, right or wrong, no matter which side of the coin you choose.
 

JohnZ123

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Not everyone can make the sacrifice it takes to achieve the fastlane. Here is some things you need to clarify and know.

Are you afraid of being lonely? Entrepreneurship itself is a very lonely journey. You're essentially a minority among the human population. Majority of people are slowlaners or sidewalkers and will not be able to relate to your journey.

Do you have any true friends? True friends meaning friends who'll support you through the worst times and genuinely be happy for good things happening in your life. Most "friends" or acquaintances wouldn't do that. The reality is when you're working 12 to 14 hour days you're not going to have time to devote to a social life if you're actually working. That means all the time spent partying or meeting a lot of women will be allocated to building a business.

The fact you're discouraged by the sacrifice it takes means you aren't ready to build a successful business. Reality is going to slap you hard when you're putting only a couple hours a day on your business and your competitors are kicking your butt.

Note, if you're still motivated to start a business then pull the trigger as soon as possible. I started my e-commerce businesses when I was 19. You're 18 and you have plenty of time to make mistakes and learn from it.
 

MTF

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I've always been an outsider and never enjoyed partying and any other low-value ways of spending time as a teenager (smoking, drinking alcohol, etc.). I didn't have your typical teenager experience, didn't go to parties, didn't have any experiences with girls until 21 or so, and didn't make any permanent friends at high school (I lost contact with all of them because they were only my "school" friends).

Do I regret it?

Not at all.

I worked for 8 or so years before I finally built a profitable business and now, still young, I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. That's what the Fastlane is about.

I don't care that I didn't get drunk on a weekly basis, that I didn't smoke weed, or that I didn't have sex with countless drunk girls. Who cares. None of this stuff compares with the freedom money gives you. It's absolutely worth the sacrifice. Let me make it super clear to convey how awesome it is: I'd rather be impotent than be a wage slave you're almost guaranteed to become if you prioritize partying over education and productive endeavors like most young people do (and then ask for handouts, complaining they can't make a living).

Remember that most people are most energetic, productive, and creative between 18 and 30 (you can absolutely still crush it if you're older, but generally speaking, it's just easier when you're young and your body has an incredible capability to recover).

Also, as @Kung Fu Steve says, it's not like you need to choose between those two things. As a teenager, I still spent time with certain friends and have memories other than work. I just didn't participate in any stuff that negatively affected my productivity.

Don't believe fake gurus saying that you need to work 24/7 because it's unrealistic. Get your most important tasks done in the morning and no matter what you do in the afternoon, you'll still progress. Note that regular partying doesn't really fit with this lifestyle because you need to have energy in the morning.

if I have to work for 5 years in order to be rich , losing my friends , not having experiences with girls , not partying ... I don't know if it's worth anymore...
I don't want to sound harsh, but this part sounds like you aren't clear with your priorities and have an entitlement mindset ("I need to put in actual work to have an awesome life? Screw that"). If you aren't sure whether it will be worth it, then perhaps you aren't mature enough or just need to experience how much it sucks not to have money and then you'll realize that what teenagers obsess about isn't important.
 

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SoftStone

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Read (or better yet, listen to) "Be Obsessed Or Be Average" by Grant Cardone. It talks about being obsessed with ALL areas of your life, not just one.

As if you could spend your whole day just working on your business. Either you will get nothing done because you'll lose focus after too many hours or engage in action-faking.
 
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Kak

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masterneme

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I agree with @Rawseed you don't have to give up your life, block some time EVERY SINGLE DAY and focus it on building your fastlane.

It doesn't matter how much time you put at first but do something every day. Something like what? Literally anything!

Here is the thing, you'll build the habit of working on your fastlane, it will become second nature and you'll do it effortlessly. When this happens it will be harder to NOT hustle than doing it.

And then YOU will have the chance to take the decisions you're asking us to make for you. Your environment will react to your actions and will give you the feedback you need.

BUT you need to do something every day, it will compound over time.
 

NateKruse

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I’m working mandatory overtime at my Slowlane job this Saturday morning and saw this. I thought it was fitting for this thread. FC5777BF-2391-49B4-8FF8-56872ABB7F6E.jpeg
Maybe if you slowdown just enough to travel in a group of people with similar speeds, you can travel quickly together.
 

SMH

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Partying, drugs, alcohol etc. isn`t fun for me so I don`t feel like I`m losing anything. You sure can have friends, as @sparechange said you have seven days in a week. Taking some time to spend a while with your real friends wouldn`t be harmful, just set your priorities straight(partying and then being broke like the most people shouldn`t be the way).
 

Process

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Don't completely forgo the party scene. Just go every once in a while. (monthly) Don't get involved in the drinking and smoking excessively part of partying.

Focus on the people watching and meeting new people. You can usually meet a few other positive and like minded people.

Basically you want to be able to mingle. It's a very useful ability for entrepreneurship. You'll also get a feel for how others perceive the world, which is very useful.
 

I AM THE SENATE

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I'm wondering here if it's possible to build a business and have friends .
I see many entrepenours saying "HUSTLE". Gary Vee says " close your eyes for 10 years and just work". I was thinking... if I have to work for 5 years in order to be rich , losing my friends , not having experiences with girls , not partying ... I don't know if it's worth anymore...


PS: I'm 18 years old ...

You can have friends. You just need to spend more time on the right things than hanging out and partying. You're at an age where friends tend to hang out together a lot. At my age, I'm lucky to see my friends a few times a year. So don't neglect your friends now. Life may push you guys apart later.
 

Kak

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I retract my previous statement. You can’t have friends, and let me tell you why....

You need to want it more than you want friends. Talking yourself out of it before you even begin is a bad sign. The truth is, most entrepreneurs can have friends, but if you lean this hard on other people that you even needed to ask this question, you need to decide what is more important to you. Playing grab a$$, or building an empire.

If you so choose to build an empire... You’ll make real friends along the way. Not party, clueless, grab a$$ friends either.
 

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million$$$smile

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@JPDeCarvalho, We all need friends.

But try to realize that there are different chapters in life. Each chapter seems to create a new set of friends for the most part.

Very few keep the same set of friends that they had in grade school. The same can be said in high school and again when one settles down and gets married. If you kept the same friends that you went out and partied with after you got married and continued doing the same thing, your relationship with your significant other would most likely be affected in a negative way.

The same goes when you create a business or grow into a new lifestyle.

People change. So do relationships. Look for people in life that you can 'ride the river with' People that have your back when needed. People that you can trust. People that will understand you that you are on a mission and accept you doing that.

Also understand that most around you have the slowlane mentality. Accept that, but recognize that their priorities may not be on the same wavelength as yours.

Search out those that at least accept your mission and will encourage you in that endeavor.

Figure out your priorities and it will help you to decide who you really want your friends to be.

Look for those that have the qualities that will be there for the long run, not just for a short chapter in your life.

Real friends are like fine wine. They age well and are highly regarded.
 

Mattie

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I'm wondering here if it's possible to build a business and have friends .
I see many entrepenours saying "HUSTLE". Gary Vee says " close your eyes for 10 years and just work". I was thinking... if I have to work for 5 years in order to be rich , losing my friends , not having experiences with girls , not partying ... I don't know if it's worth anymore...


PS: I'm 18 years old ...
I think the answer is your 18. This is the prime time you go to college, university, get some kind of training, skills, and you get your feet wet, and figure out what you like or don't like in career and jobs. This is where you usually are establishing friendships, and usually by the end of the next four years, you go off your separate ways. Usually, than you decide if you want to be single all your life or get married and have a family. At the same time, you may start Entrepreneurship, focus on where you're going in life financially. It's quite different for everyone, so I can understand you're concern with your friends. Some people have life long friends forever. Others have short-term friends. There's no definite structure of how it works for you.
 

Maxboost

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Here is a simple solution for you. Only party with other entrepreneurs....problem solved..
 

better

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Good for you for even thinking about this at your age.

I strongly recommend making friends that are successful because the advice "you are the sum of the 5 people you see the most " has been completely accurate for me. Being around the right people can motivate you, give you advice, and even push you to be a better version of yourself.
 

Siberia

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I'm wondering here if it's possible to build a business and have friends .
I see many entrepenours saying "HUSTLE". Gary Vee says " close your eyes for 10 years and just work". I was thinking... if I have to work for 5 years in order to be rich , losing my friends , not having experiences with girls , not partying ... I don't know if it's worth anymore...


PS: I'm 18 years old ...

Update : Thanks for the feedback ! I decided that I'm not going to left my relationships behind ( family and friends) , BUT I'm not going to give up either . I can totally do both . I have 24 hours in a day , seven days a week . That's it ! Thanks again .

For the ones who think that you should not have friends & relationships , what are you gonna do with your money if you don't have friends? lol Hapiness is only real when shared , fortunatelly it's possible to manage the time( sleeping less and other resources) in order to have balanced life !

Friendship is a parallel dimension of emotional and affective completion of the life.

A comfort zone in which to find shelter and satisfaction when needed.

A natural thing that accompanies us in a discreet way and not to be confused with the friendships interested in business.

In the business there are no friends.

Entrepreneurial solitude, the ability to stay as long as possible out of one's comfort zone is the entrepreneurial DNA.
 

FriscoJP

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NOTHING worth chasing comes from balance or moderation, whether in work or personal life. (This is discussed in The ONE Thing) Truly excellent relationships, for example, take incredible amounts of work. So do excellent businesses, excellent physiques, or incredible travel stories. (You wouldn't hear about the time I ate "truffles" and almost shat myself biking 25 miles up the Dutch coastline if I was also trying to work for 4-5 hours a day while visiting Amsterdam)

This is where routines become SO critical. Ray Dalio (Principles) talks about designing your life as if you were overseeing yourself; so clearly define your goals and then think how you can best create a routine of 14-16 hours (i.e. 1 day) that will incrementally approach that. Every day looks roughly like this for me:

6-8: Personal business.
8:30-11:30: Job.
11:30-1:00: Gym.
1:00-5:00: Job.
5:30-8:00: Personal Business.
8:00-Bed: Dinner, reading.

I avoid happy hours like the plague. I never go out to eat.

On weekends I replace all of the job time with more personal business time and some extra reading to clear my mind mid-afternoon. This gives me 30-40 hours per week of personal business time on top of my full time job. But 2-4 days per month (depending on tiredness) are purely for me. Friends, partying, whatever else. I get entirely away from my routine to keep from burnout and also to put ample effort into simply remaining a functioning human.

After 10 months of sticking to routine I went on a 3 1/2 week adventure around Europe with two of my best friends, entirely leaving my life at home and living out of a backpack. I gave 100% of myself to that experience and it was life-changing.

Now I am 100% back into my routine, because I know it is what will push me toward being able to immerse myself 100% into adventures and other things that require freedom for longer and longer periods.

Keep perspective of what you're working towards, and get entirely unbalanced in your pursuit of it. Become entirely unbalanced in your recovery from that in your personal time. But IMO, to try to live the traditional "balanced" life does nothing but slow down your journey. When there's no guarantee of tomorrow, I'm not willing to live without a sense of urgency.
 

Rich Wood

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My closest friends are the ones I am in business with. I've found as I get older (getting married, having a child), that my friend scene has diminished, but those I have business relationships with stays strong. I invest with my friends, travel for board meetings with my friends, and deal making trips with my friends, and enjoy life with my friends. I think of my clients as friends, and value the relationships I have with them. I take interest in their lives, and am sincere in my approach.
One of the cool things I get to do with my friends - 3 - 5 buddies from grad school, is because we all invest in the same companies, we get to have off-sight business discussion trips, which may include recreational activities such as skiing, surfing, mountain biking, and other fun things that my wife and young children don't enjoy.
Friends are a big part of your life. They watch out for you, provide true and at times helpful guidance, and doing things with others is always better than going at it alone.
I will honestly say though that I have maybe five really close friends, and I am good with that. I know and love a lot of people, but having a couple of close friends will help you have a life full of fun adventures.
 

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