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Building relationships

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LeoistheSun

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I heard somewhere that the quality of the life you live, is based upon the quality of relationships you have.

That being said, I certainly feel a lack despite my so called 4000 contacts on LinkedIn and 100 (those were pruned) on Facebook.

I'm looking at it the wrong way. #'s dont mean jack. You still gotta go out in the world or reach out to others.

I know we got some relationship "connectors" on this forum, I'd love to hear how you build relationships with others.

The two books I can think of (that help) are:
-Never eat alone
-Build friends and influence people


 
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Dunkafelics

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What are you doing to build relationships outside of social media? I ask because I am in the process of building outside of my social circle as well. That quote was from Tony Robbins FYI ;)

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jodichaffee

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Aug 29, 2017
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I heard somewhere that the quality of the life you live, is based upon the quality of relationships you have.

That being said, I certainly feel a lack despite my so called 4000 contacts on LinkedIn and 100 (those were pruned) on Facebook.

I'm looking at it the wrong way. #'s dont mean jack. You still gotta go out in the world or reach out to others.

I know we got some relationship "connectors" on this forum, I'd love to hear how you build relationships with others.

The two books I can think of (that help) are:
-Never eat alone
-Build friends and influence people



While it’s most important to focus on our actual, personal relationships, I think this also applies to the media we consume. We build relationships with the authors and influencers we choose. They will work on our mindset if not support us through the process. I’m a stay-at-home-Mom trying to build an online business so I’m only surrounded by my family and what I see online. However, I read a lot of business books, watch videos, and interact with my favorite influencers on social media. They don’t know me personally but I am familiar with them. They are inspiring me in how I think and act. I am learning about ways to meet people of more quality who are inspiring and supportive because there are opportunities provided by these influencers.
Hope that makes sense.


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LeoistheSun

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TBH, the one thing I have learned is people are interested in themselves. Everyone seems to know this, yet nobody utilizes this information.

Before I got my SaaS software idea, I was asking business owners what their biggest problems were. But I didn't ask it directly. It was more "tell me about your business", "what are the things you enjoy most?", "what about the things you enjoy least?" and thats how I used this tactic to find ideas.

I wonder if its really this simple:
- Get them to talk about themselves
- Do something that helps them get to where they want to be (utilizing the info)
- Stay in contact
- Repeat

But for me, social media feels like the easy way out. Yet I feel like I dont know how to use it.
 
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Olimac21

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What helps is to have a tribe (friends, family, coworkers,etc) interested in ONE activity/idea. If you manage to find 4-5 people who have similar points of views and context to meet up on a regular basis I can assure you after a while you will become closer.
 

Andy Black

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How do you build relationships?

Give thanks. Literally. Say thanks and explain why it helped you. Good things will happen.

Ask people how things are going. That’s my standard hello to everyone. “Hey. How’s it going?”.

Take a genuine interest in people, because they’re genuinely interesting. Every single person is unique and with their own story. Treat people like they’re special and they’ll show you why they’re special.

Maybe check out the 700+ PMs thread in my signature. (Especially the video in post 20.)
 

LeoistheSun

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Ask people how things are going. That’s my standard hello to everyone. “Hey. How’s it going?”.

You're in Ireland right?

Its so standard here in the USA, that phrase "hows it going" that it means very little. I suppose I want to go way beyond that and connect with others.

I mentioned having those 4000 connections on LinkedIn, I need to prune them heavily (who has value, who doesn't). But how to create meaningful relationships with the rest?

Also my friend sent me this Reddit link. I haven't read it yet.

How to stop being lonely and make friends. 10 principles that transformed my ability to make meaningful friendships over the years. Very long but I hope it helps someone. • r/socialskills
 
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Andy Black

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You're in Ireland right?

Its so standard here in the USA, that phrase "hows it going" that it means very little. I suppose I want to go way beyond that and connect with others.

I mentioned having those 4000 connections on LinkedIn, I need to prune them heavily (who has value, who doesn't). But how to create meaningful relationships with the rest?

Also my friend sent me this Reddit link. I haven't read it yet.

How to stop being lonely and make friends. 10 principles that transformed my ability to make meaningful friendships over the years. Very long but I hope it helps someone. • r/socialskills
It’s the same in Ireland. Depends how you say it I supposed. Do you look someone in the eye, nod and say it? Or do you keep your head down and hope they don’t answer? Do you think there’s no value in saying hello and meaning it, unless it’s someone of “value”? Because that will come across.

I have about 10,000 connections on LinkedIn. I personally find LinkedIn a spam fest so rarely log in. Are you sure pruning people who have no value to offer is the way to go? My whole point earlier is that everyone has value to offer, and it’s up to you to find it. Go in with that attitude and people will open up to you.

I went for a walk this morning and said Hello in one form or another to half a dozen people. Got talking to someone who told me about the Facebook page of the local running club. I messaged that page and they messaged back with the time they go for a run on a Saturday morning.

When I turn up next week I’ll say hello to folks and strike up conversation. I’ll look people in the eye and ask them how they’re doing. I’ll likely end up running with a couple people and will chatter to them.

I suspect it’s easier than you think it is to build relationships.

Don’t overthink it. Check out post 20 in the 700+ PMs post in my signature.

There’s also an earlier one where I reply to someone about how to give without expectation (post 5).

EDIT: I just put that 5th post into a thread here:
 
Last edited:

BigRomeDawg

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1 great relationship with an awesome person is way better than many avg relationships with avg ppl

That’s why we choose spouses and best friends and business partners right?

You don’t need books just show up where the ppl like u or ppl where u want to be hang out and be friendly

Meet ups, conferences


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