After Selling His Startup For $25m People He Barely Knew Started Calling...

[Kak]

I wouldn't put that stuff on Facebook. I want to let them all think I'm unemployed and poor. Even family on holidays "what the hell is it you do again?". I kind of want a 1000 dollar old crap car for thanksgiving just to keep them from asking questions. Most people don't have a clue and I like it that way. I'm doing this for me not the Facebook cred.

I never put vacation pictures, new cars or any info like that on Facebook.

I'd probably tell you guys though because you all are on similar journeys.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

If I get a big beautiful home it will be in a gated community for a reason

Lived in one for years. Don't be fooled. A "gated community" means HOA. HOA means freaking snooty assholes who have nothing better to do other than to harass their neighbors because the bush is not trimmed to 5 feet, or the side wall is one shade of gray too dark. As someone who likes to be left alone, who likes to be in control, who likes NOT to be told what to do, that the "gated community" is the worse thing of all. It took me over a year to find a house because the top priority in my search was not to be a part of a bloodsucking HOA. Just something to think about...

 

[Rickson9]

I sold my startup for $25.5 million on Monday just after 2:23 p.m. Pacific Time.

Selling the company, Perfect Audience, to Marin Software took six months of writing carefully worded emails, meeting secretly in cafés, and pacing around the streets of San Francisco’s SoMa neighborhood after dark.

In the end, I sold Perfect Audience—a software platform which helps small businesses buy online ads—on a phone call on which I barely said anything at all. Our lawyers conferred with their lawyers.

...

One thing that did cut through the exhaustion was a task I’d been anticipating for more than six years: writing the Facebook post in which I announce to friends, former friends, frenemies, ex-girlfriends, college roommates, future wives, and family members that I was not in fact an obscure failure but a new, minor footnote in the annals of Silicon Valley startup successes.

Writing it was easy. I’d had six years to plot it in my head. I kept it simple and tried to strike the right mix between “Aw yeah!” and “Aw shucks!” No one likes a sore winner. I pushed it live and watched as over 400 comments rolled in.

Meanwhile my phone buzzed across my desk as it received text messages from people I’d not heard from in years. The middle school crush. The Sunday school teacher. The startup friends from Chicago. At last!

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-i-sold-my-startup-for-255-million-2014-6

 

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[rogen]

Whatever floats his boat.. IMO it wasnt great idea to boast about it, hes now bombarded with wannabe-friends. I would just keep it all to myself, they would find out anyways and it would feel better to meet former schoolmates in some random place and If they would ask you "so what are you doing?" - "not much, sold a company, now Im just touring the world".. Look on their face would be priceless

 

[Kak]

If I got my payday for my years of hard work... you bet your a$$ I'd post it on facebook.
I think about that every day,

It's not for the attention, it's for all the people who told me "get a real job".
For all the friends working as assistant manager in a mcdonalds looking down on me for "not having a job".. talking to ME with pity in their voice!

Even now, living on my own, making a full living off of freelance and consulting work, I still get talked down to.
Met with crazy stares and uncomfortable silence as people hold back their snide remarks when I tell them I can't go to their party because I'm working on my business.
It's met with PITY. Friends and family alike.

I know it's not very gentlemenlike, but I look forward to the day I can I can boast.

Maybe it's different for the guys who are already quite a few years into their success...
or maybe it's a difference in personality...
or maybe you're not just surrounded by as many assholes as I am.

'Coming out' as a success and putting the people who pity me "in their place" is something I think about often...
and I'd totally be willing to put up with deadbeats asking me for money in order to do it.



I'm not in a position where this is a problem, but I've thought about this.

The same thing I'd do if an employee or a child asked me for money...
I'd make them work for it.

That way you don't need to feel bad no matter the outcome.
If they truly need the money but aren't willing to work for it then F*ck them... it's their own fault and they're just asking for handouts.
If they're willing to work for it, then you get something done for you that you probably would have paid someone for anyways.

To me, this doesn't sound like you have your reasons right. Those people's opinions literally don't matter. I don't care to impress people I don't like.

If I got an exotic car it would be because it was something I wanted. If I go on vacation to a really cool place it is because I wanted to do that. If I get a big beautiful home it will be in a gated community for a reason, because it's for me. I have no interest in gaining the approval of people on my Facebook friends list. In fact the day things get truly real, I'll probably totally delete it. I've already deleted linkedin.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

They typically ask how that's going and I say "it's going all right".

"Hanging in there" I found is nice, modest answer. That's my default.

 

[Vick]

im just gonna buy an island. its easier.

 

[Kak]

I don't think I've ever agreed with Denis until now



They don't matter to you, your world is not everyone's. Learn to accept right or wrong, we all do things for our own reasons and you don't get to decide if my reasons are 'right'.

If you think it is 'right' to let the opinions of others have a hold on you like that then by all means, be weak and continue on.

I'll maintain the fact that Facebook flaunting BS is counterproductive. The ability to prove someone else wrong is absolutely the wrong reason to build a business. You need to want it for you.

 

[Paleo]

That's good. I have families and relatives in different parts of the world and the US. Had I been in your shoes I'll have family members coming out of the woodworks, like long lost uncles and aunts, distant cousins, probably a twin separated at birth.

How would you guys respond to a family member asking for money for whatever reason and they know that you have the cash but you are reluctant to give them?

"Sorry, but all my money is tied up in investments right now"

 

[ZCP]

@DennisDuty when you go this route, you give them control over you........ They are not worth that energy......

 

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[Kak]

"Hanging in there" I found is nice, modest answer. That's my default.

I think I have my new one now LOL.

What do you do? Consulting work. How is that? Hanging in there.

Done.

 

[Kak]

But what I don't quite understand, and this goes to @Kak as well...
WHY does that give them power over me?

Honestly, I'm not into that "power over you" and other blah blah psychology terms. My point is to always make sure you are doing things for the right reason. Someone on this forum once asked someone who was considering a Ferrari. "Would you still want it if you were the last person on earth?" That struck a note with me, my answer to that question needs to be yes before I do it.

Make it about no one but you. It's a simpler way to live.

 

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[100k]

LOL people from his kindergarten that he hasn't heard from in 30 years are calling him LOOOOL

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Do none of your family own your books MJ?

I have a tiny family. Can count em on one hand and they have read the book. My "hanging in there" response is usually to strangers, sometimes friends.

 

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[DennisD]

If I got my payday for my years of hard work... you bet your a$$ I'd post it on facebook.
I think about that every day,

It's not for the attention, it's for all the people who told me "get a real job".
For all the friends working as assistant manager in a mcdonalds looking down on me for "not having a job".. talking to ME with pity in their voice!

Even now, living on my own, making a full living off of freelance and consulting work, I still get talked down to.
Met with crazy stares and uncomfortable silence as people hold back their snide remarks when I tell them I can't go to their party because I'm working on my business.
It's met with PITY. Friends and family alike.

I know it's not very gentlemenlike, but I look forward to the day I can I can boast.

Maybe it's different for the guys who are already quite a few years into their success...
or maybe it's a difference in personality...
or maybe you're not just surrounded by as many assholes as I am.

'Coming out' as a success and putting the people who pity me "in their place" is something I think about often...
and I'd totally be willing to put up with deadbeats asking me for money in order to do it.

How would you guys respond to a family member asking for money for whatever reason and they know that you have the cash but you are reluctant to give them?

I'm not in a position where this is a problem, but I've thought about this.

The same thing I'd do if an employee or a child asked me for money...
I'd make them work for it.

That way you don't need to feel bad no matter the outcome.
If they truly need the money but aren't willing to work for it then F*ck them... it's their own fault and they're just asking for handouts.
If they're willing to work for it, then you get something done for you that you probably would have paid someone for anyways.

 

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[splok]

you don't get to decide if my reasons are 'right'.

He gets to have an opinion on whether or not your reasons are productive... If you don't want your positions critiqued, then don't post them publicly.

Besides, it's a pretty easy thing to check. Is spending energy worrying about the opinions of others really helping you to get where you want to go? if so, then great! If not...

 

[Nathan Douglas]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but HOAs usually charge a fee as well. That's how they pay for maintenance to the gate, security, pool, etc. So, not only will they bitch about your yard not getting mowed in a timely manner, they will charge you a monthly to do it. I know for a fact that you always pay for HOA when you own a condo/apartment, I'd think gated housing communities aren't much different.

I do my own mowing, but I was out of town for 1 little week and when I came back I had 2 letters in my mailbox from the HOA saying If the lawn wasn't mowed I would be fined. Oh get this, and they took a picture of the side of my house showing the "messy" lawn. I am going to start mowing the lawn at night now, twice a week. >

 

[RHL]

One thing that did cut through the exhaustion was a task I’d been anticipating for more than six years: writing the Facebook post in which I announce to friends, former friends, frenemies, ex-girlfriends, college roommates, future wives, and family members that I was not in fact an obscure failure but a new, minor footnote in the annals of Silicon Valley startup successes.

This idea ranks just slightly behind Hitler's turning on Stalin and Ala ad-Din Muhammed killing Genghis Kahn's emissaries in the universal spectrum of poor life choices.

I hope he likes 5th cousins hitting him up for new driveways or pitching him shitty Android app ideas, because he's going to be dealing with that every day until he dies.

 

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[Kak]

Something that really helped me with this ^^

The circle of influence discussion in the seven habits of highly effective people. It makes a good case for focusing those worthless thoughts elsewhere.

http://www.breakoutofthebox.com/circle.htm

 

[D11FYY]

Very wrong, I am allowed to decide whatever the hell I want to. If you think it is 'right' to let the opinions of others have a hold on you like that then by all means, be weak and continue on.

I'll maintain the fact that Facebook flaunting BS is counterproductive. The ability to prove someone else wrong is absolutely the wrong reason to build a business. You need to want it for you.

Exactly I dont want the fancy cars or anything anymore.
I just want to feel free. Successful enough to be Free enabling me to do what I want when I want by no means does it have to be flashy. If i wanted to go on a holiday tomorrow I could but still have to come back and face the shit when i got back. Reason would be nice to have investments which made passive income.
I watched a documentary of David Beckham last night traveling through Brazil he has all the money, fame and success that some people could only dream of. But when he reached the amazon where people didn't know how successful he was or who he even was for that matter. He finally felt free something he says he hasn't in years but these people didn't treat him any different. so it doesn't matter what opinions people have of you for driving a piece of shit or Rolls Royce it really doesnt matter but if you feel content with yourself then that is all that really matters! imo

 

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[jon.a]

Which brings up the question... I can afford the Beemer but I don't want to spend money yet while I build the business. BUT what happens if I make a sales call for my SaaS thing and pull up in my current humble ride? Would that shoot me down before I even start?

Do you really think that your prospect is standing by the window watching what you drive up in.
Park around the corner and walk.

 

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[PeeVee]

I think I have my new one now LOL.

What do you do? Consulting work. How is that? Hanging in there.

Done.

This had me dying. Funny shit. You are probably saying it with a semi-frown face. Getting that pat on the back: "It will be ok kiddo things will look up" Lmao

 

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[Kak]

This had me dying. Funny shit. You are probably saying it with a semi-frown face. Getting that pat on the back: "It will be ok kiddo things will look up" Lmao

Funny thing, I have business cards that just say "consulting" on them. No business name, no business email, no office phone.

Cell and personal email only.

 

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[Rickson9]

Wow that is awful. I certainly don't want to be in a situation like that. I hadn't thought about it.

I wonder if renting in an area like that with would be different since they are complaining to the landlord and it is his problem if his fence isn't the right color for instance.

If the landlord is fastlane, they would be complaining to the property manager and the landlord would probably not hear about it

 

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[RogueInnovation]

"sorry guys, I tried to double up by going to vegas and I put it all on black. So false alarm, anyone got a job for me?"

"I still accomplished a lot though, and aim to build up again, so am celebrating with burgers at mine if anyone wants in let me know"

The best kind of confidence doesn't prove itself to anyone.
I've noticed that as I get better, I actually care very little about millions etc.
Cuz if you have an efficient system, then who cares.

 

[D11FYY]

I wouldn't put that stuff on Facebook. I want to let them all think I'm unemployed and poor. Even family on holidays "what the hell is it you do again?". Most people don't have a clue and I like it that way. I'm doing this for me not the Facebook cred.

I never put vacation pictures, new cars or any info like that on Facebook.

I'd probably tell you guys though because you all are on similar journeys.

That is the best way even with family no doubt if some family financial trouble would arise you would be 'expected' to bail them out.
Lol what do you tell them Kak when they ask what is it you do?
I've not even got Facebook people used to love themselves and with endless narcissistic selfies on mine constantly was actually a pain in the arse. Reading about their weekends, their kids last fart and 419 days until their holiday. Deleted.

 

[GuestUser113]

I wouldn't put that stuff on Facebook. I want to let them all think I'm unemployed and poor. Even family on holidays "what the hell is it you do again?". I kind of want a 1000 dollar old crap car for thanksgiving just to keep them from asking questions. Most people don't have a clue and I like it that way. I'm doing this for me not the Facebook cred.

I never put vacation pictures, new cars or any info like that on Facebook.

I'd probably tell you guys though because you all are on similar journeys.

That long lost uncle comes out from F*cking nowhere. That you didn't know that existed. Your parents forgot to mention. Because he was a drunk, or whatever reason. "Hey, Johnny!! Can you spare a few grand? I have this opportunity that I wish to pursue."

 

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[Kak]

Lol what do you tell them Kak when they ask what is it you do?

I tell them I own a few businesses. They typically ask how that's going and I say "it's going all right".

Every time....

I should come up with something better.

 

[D11FYY]

At least your not lying kak lol.

"Hanging in there" I found is nice, modest answer. That's my default.

Do none of your family own your books MJ? Lol I dare say if you played the modest card and one of them read upon your success it would be a bit of a shock to them.

 

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[Kak]

I got an invitation to some class reunion not too long ago. I laughed and deleted it.