Advice: Has Anyone Groomed Themselves to Enter The American Elite?

[Philip Marlowe]

Was listening to an interview of Jerry Murrell, the founder of Five Guys. He was talking about how he still likes to sit on his porch and eat cold baked beans out of the can.

Just be who you are.

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

When it comes to elites, it's important to note that there's a difference between media's perception and reality. You have to find your niche and fit into that niche.

There's the "high society" elite, and then there's the "yeah I'm rich/powerful" elite. The former is more concerned with perception and the latter is more representative of the common man.

Think of it in terms of the richest people you know. You have billionaires like Warren Buffett who drink coke and eat pudding because that's what they like. Then you have high society elite like Bernard Arnault who are always in a suit and attending "elite" events drinking wnie. We know about Warren, yet think about how many countless other billionaires are like him.

Now think of it in terms of politics. You have someone like George W Bush who liked to get drunk, party, and have a good time. Then you have someone like Hillary who invested a lot of time in her life to giving off the perception of being elite. Both chose different paths. Each path was appropriate for each individual.

You have to choose your path.

Always try to fit in whether that be high society or regular folk. When in high society, dress appropriately, use the proper etiquette, don't be a slob. When around more regular folk, don't overdress, or be a snob.

Personally I struggle with that last part of fitting in with high society because I have an intense dislike for fakeness (etiquette, giving a F*ck about stupid shit, etc). In someone like @Kak 's presence I would never be identified as a slob, but my natural inclination is to be at ease, and why I neglect fitting in with high society, yet do a good job of fitting in with the common man elites.

The best piece of advice I can give is for you to be fun to be around and acquire skillsets that allow you to have fun in the presence of other elites.

For example, I hang out with a few nine figure retired men once a month shooting guns. We shoot guns, drink beer, and then shoot the shit. Guns is our excuse for coming together. I always bring the beer regardless of what they have, and do my best to be pleasant company. They talk about their war stories from back in the day. I chip in with my political hatred for a group we mutually hate. It's a pleasant social exchange for all parties, and pays dividends anytime I have a business concern.

In Hong Kong, arguably one of the world's capitals for "high society", I did a horrible job of fitting in with high society, yet a great job of fitting in with the common man elite that was passing through. I attended a conference there. When most people were networking, I was playing hooky with a diamond mine billionaire, playing in a poker cash game. When there was an after party at Peninsula with live piano music and cocktails, I was getting piss drunk with Thai royalty and helping them pick up the few girls that were in LKF on a Tuesday.

You have to find your niche and how to be fun.

Golf is the easiest, but it's not the end all be all. There's other activities that are fun and bonding as well. Cigars, guns, cars, art, philanthropy, religion... that's just a few things you can think about.

Find your niche.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I spend time with people whose company I enjoy.

I don't care if that's a cashier at a gas station or a CEO of a public company.

 

[IGP]

Wow, that's a horrifically stereotypical and insulting assertion...

As someone who grew up poor, I like to think that I -- and many of those I knew who were in similar financial circumstances -- had (and valued) my self-worth.

Not only that, but I know more happy "poor" people than I do happy "rich" people.

I'd rather be happy and poor, than rich and miserable.

 

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[Vigilante]

Not only that, but I know more happy "poor" people than I do happy "rich" people.

I'd rather be happy and poor, than rich and miserable.

I have met very few happy poor people in my life.

 

[IGP]

I have met very few happy poor people in my life.

"Poor" was in quotes, but even so I find that hard to believe.

The majority of the world is not well off, are you telling me they are all miserable?

 

[jon.a]

"Poor" was in quotes, but even so I find that hard to believe.

The majority of the world is not well off, are you telling me they are all miserable?

Start your own stupid socioeconomic thread.

 

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[Vigilante]

"Poor" was in quotes, but even so I find that hard to believe.

The majority of the world is not well off, are you telling me they are all miserable?

I would have no reason or interest to lie to you or anyone else.

This has been discussed Ad nauseam elsewhere and would derail this thread. Search The Forum for concepts like if money buys happiness...

You may find that topic of interest but that is not the purpose of this thread.

This is a super interesting topic.

 

[jon.a]

To get more back on track, when Mrs.jon and I got thrown to the wolves, I did buy us a business etiquette book.

 

[Vigilante]

To get more back on track, when Mrs.jon and I got thrown to the wolves, I did buy us a business etiquette book.

I appreciate attempts to reach the next generation with etiquette lessons and things that are becoming a lost art to the Chipotle generation. Sophistication and etiquette are slowly fading from the United States.

 

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[Guest3722A]

To get more back on track, when Mrs.jon and I got thrown to the wolves, I did buy us a business etiquette book.

Ordering. As someone who's been rough around the edges, I think this is something that would benefit us as well.

 

[Vigilante]

To get more back on track, when Mrs.jon and I got thrown to the wolves, I did buy us a business etiquette book.

Any specific book recommendation?

 

[jon.a]

Any specific book recommendation?

I got this one...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071811265/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

 

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[Guest3722A]

I got this one...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0071811265/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

Done. Thank you.

 

[Philip Marlowe]

Any specific book recommendation?

I really like "Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands". Yes it's primarily a sales book, but mostly it teaches you to be mindful no matter where you are on the planet.

 

[Vigilante]

I really like "Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands". Yes it's primarily a sales book, but mostly it teaches you to be mindful no matter where you are on the planet.

That one I have read

 

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[Kak]

I'm glad to see you guys picking up a few books. I will pick those up too!

I see zero wrong with being able to roll in classy circles. I love being the best self I can be; and while I don't consider myself to be part of some aristocracy, I will admit I enjoy being around the wealth, power and influence.

I can recommend Dress For Success by John Molloy.

 

[Raoul Duke]

Most of the wealthy people I hang out with wear flip flops...

Wasted away again in Margaritaville?

 

[Mattie]

Wow, that's a horrifically stereotypical and insulting assertion...

As someone who grew up poor, I like to think that I -- and many of those I knew who were in similar financial circumstances -- had (and valued) my self-worth.

I think it may be the definition of what you believe is poor, your neighborhood, and geographical location. And I understand some families are on welfare for three or four generations.

I've been in the non-profits. It may sound stereo typical, but I've tried to help people myself. When I moved I gave someone an almost new bedroom set, and watched them use it in a bon-fire.

I gave other people things and watched them. Frankly, when you're conditioned generation after generation, your mindset can be where you don't value materialism and money.

If they valued themselves, they wouldn't be in the streets, stealing, fighting over a few dollars, and in in 2014 and 2016, I lost two of my friends to gun shot wounds over thugs stealing from them.

So, I'm glad your experience was a good one in poverty. For many they are in constant survival mode, they don't have the coping skills, life skills, and all you have to do is look at any neighborhood where their is a lot of violence.

This is a mindset and mentality. And blaming other people for their circumstances. I have one friend right now in the homeless shelter who wants to start a vlog of the experience.

I don't think people really have a clue unless they're associated with non-profits. When I graduated, I had the opportunity to be a parent mentor and go in and train them. That lasted one day, because the grant got cut, and I didn't mind because I understood it was a dangerous job.

In your version of poverty, it may be something completely different. Stereotypical is a word people keep throwing around. When you're speaking of social groups, there's always a label, statistics, and and your reports. I don't make the labels to describe groups, and just because I use a label, doesn't mean all fit in a one size fits all box. The world uses labels, categories, niches, genres to label things in Entrepreneurship.

If you're "Too Sensitive" and "Too Emotional" about labels, emotionally detach yourself from them and don't make them personal about yourself. Those are two more trigger words for you get over, since because they're just words, and if you're polarized by words, and being triggered, that means you still have some inner work to do.

I'm an INFJ and not all about that, but fortunately, it doesn't matter how sensitive, empathetic, understanding, compassionate I am, someone still get triggered by words.

And I can't make everyone in the world happy and watch every word I say to fit every person just right. You can't make everyone happy, write all the most perfect sentences, and people just need to get a "Tough Skin."

If you think INFJ is stereo typical and said it in a nice way, how do you think you'll respond to a dominate Extrovert who gives Zero f's about your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I think this is the point. I talk too people all the time, and "I don't ever understand." I have to laugh because I can only imagine how the dominate Extroverts think and feel when they deal with my personality type, and I am one of them just matured.

I can tell you there is a mindset difference in all three groups and I also was a in-home nurse aide. I can tell you they all differently, and they all think differently, and so best case scenario, go volunteer in a non-profit for a year, and get a different perspective, because if you're just going by your family and your neighborhood, than it's a limited point of view.

You can even see in different forums like I do just in relationships. I have different groups I'm in and you can see a complete difference in my feeds how the different groups think and cope with relationships from low end to the high end. And the way I address those groups are quite different, because I have to adapt and adjust to their mentality, and re-word things so they don't get polarized by me too much. This is a higher consciousness forum, so I shouldn't have to adjust as much in here.

I've been in enough social groups the last 8 years to know the difference in mindset, and of course it's why I come in here, because if I hung out in some of the other one's full time, my mind would get lazy, I would become unmotivated, and just sit back and do nothing but play video games, complain about it all, gossip, and waste my time waiting for life to happen.

I'm not a mean person at all, but I get irritated with people, because everyone loves having fun and a good time, but when life hits hard, they find themselves either sinking or swimming, and have to make a deliberate choice to do something different or get the same outcome.

Sorry, If I trigger you, but that's usually the way it works and I won't be the first or the last. Life is about opposition. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, their perception, their point of view, and experience. It's important to be neutral about these things and understand the world has various belief systems, concepts, and theories. What you believe you conceive ~ Napoleon Hill.

 

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[KLaw]

Golf, charity, doing business, I don't know you just sort of end up there.

It's really not that intimidating and like I said, the upper class is usually less judgy than the the upper middle class. Just wear nice conservative clothing, be professional, courteous, and use proper table manners.

Lmao. Wear dockers and a polo. The uber rich folks I know wear what they want when they want. Know why? Cuz they can. My millionaire a$$ uncle wears raggedy a$$ jeans and a t-shirt on a daily basis. Why? Cuz he can. Lol.
Nothing about being around rich people is intimadating. Change your mind set.

 

[SteveO]

I got into a lot of fights in my younger years. Mostly with the elite crowd at my school or the jocks that thought they were better than everyone else.

Sneakers and basketball shorts.... Will wear jeans when necessary.... Sometimes the slacks come out. Less than once a year.

I personally value comfort over style.

Manners are actions that were made up by those that thought they were better than "burp" everyone else. "Start with the fork on the outside" lol...

 

[Guest3722A]

I have been invited to a grad party this weekend for the son of one of our wealthiest customers. Honestly, I'm an introvert and a loner for the most part. This is the last place I'd want to be. But this very customer has been instrumental in the growth of the business. This guy has put the word out to so many people which led to several more customers. The guy's great and very cool. But it's difficult for me to do this. My girlfriend is the people person. The extrovert. Its her forte and people love her. And she drags me into this stuff (lol)! Ugh.

 

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[Kak]

This thread is becoming a bucket of mashed assholes.

 

[Mattie]

You realize that you just spent LITERALLY ten paragraphs interleaving bragging about how superior you are with insults... I'm not a psychologist, but that leads me to believe that you're the one who has some unresolved self-esteem issues.

Thank you for your input. For the writing, sorry. I'm a prolific writer and communicate every day online. I'll remember to keep it one liners for you.

 

[NanoDrake]

helping them pick up the few girls that were in LKF on a Tuesday.

Man I miss these days... Ending up completely f+** up at the Dragon Eye
What a joyful place HK

 

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[NanoDrake]

I appreciate attempts to reach the next generation with etiquette lessons and things that are becoming a lost art to the Chipotle generation. Sophistication and etiquette are slowly fading from the United States.

The simple gesture of pouring wine into the ladies glass is just absurd nowadays for a lot of people

 

[Mattie]

The simple gesture of pouring wine into the ladies glass is just absurd nowadays for a lot of people

Ah...yes I was reading they like it out of cans now instead of bottles. I'm a hopeless romantic of Generation X. As I stated the other day on another site, "Do we have to change every detail of life even down to the pin drop?" I keep referring back to the aftermath of the 60's when Baby Boomers did the same thing, and hour generation was breaking out on our terms. I think we all go through this phase. Breaking out of the mold, becomes the Wild Wild West in some ways. The day romance is dead, I'll stop being a poet, artist, and literary writer. Until than I'll pour wine out of a bottle, light my candles while I write, and spread the romantic ideals. lol

 

[Vigilante]

The simple gesture of pouring wine into the ladies glass is just absurd nowadays for a lot of people

Unless the lady in question is my wife. Then, you can't pour fast enough.

"She's no lady... she's my WIFE."

 

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[Guest3722A]

Lol

 

[Mattie]

"She's no lady... she's my WIFE."

I'm glad to hear wives still exist in 2018. I was starting to get worried.lol