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33 year old "retires early" eating bugs and shopping at the landfill...

MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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My best attempt at a Babylon Bee style article.

As I mentioned on the INSIDE, The Millionaire Fastlane website was recently redesigned.

As such, I satired a FIRE success story.


Enjoy!

I had a blast doing it.

1672940410837.png

1672940354509.png
 
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Robdavis

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"As an assistant manager for a car rental agency, Peter knew he had to stretch his $52,000 salary to meet his millionaire goal in one decade."

I laughed so hard at this....
Thanks for writing this MJ.
 
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jdm667

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"The answer struck me like lightning," Peter whacked himself on his head in demonstration. "I was having trouble sleeping because the chirping crickets outside were driving me nuts."

I lost it here, because I knew where it was headed. So good.
 

jdm667

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MitchC

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“And if you hang your dirty clothes out in the rain, you don't have to do laundry.”

How the F*ck do you come up with this

Also I checked out the new homepage, really nice!
 

heavy_industry

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This is pure comedy. :rofl:

The visual appearance and formatting of the article makes it even more hilarious. And the crickets in the first photo are the cherry on top.

I guess FIRE is the appropriate name, because they just got ROASTED. :fire:
 
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MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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How the F*ck do you come up with this

That's how fanatically crazy many of these people are... and they are promoted everywhere.

1672950429416.png
 

Rörik

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Fun story, but it's sad how real it is. I have a friend who is not that far from this though, and he hates his life, and still sticks to the idea that it will bring him more opportunities in the future.
 

MitchC

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MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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Haha..saw the article via Facebook, @Kung Fu Steve shared it. I must confess, I even thought for a minute it was a real story (shame) :). Great writing!

Like a lot of Babylon Bee stories, culture and satire is now close to reality.
 

Kevin88660

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My best attempt at a Babylon Bee style article.

As I mentioned on the INSIDE, The Millionaire Fastlane website was recently redesigned.

As such, I satired a FIRE success story.


Enjoy!

I had a blast doing it.

View attachment 46637

View attachment 46636
I know some real life cases of aggressive penny pinching strategies currently used by real people.

1)occupy seats with leftover food in cafe to pretend to have bought food so as to occupy the seat to use for work for whole day.

2)go for church/temple that offer free food

3) exploit free return policy to get good clothes for important events

4) get free step counting watch to qualify for free shopping vouchers by doing 10k steps a day. Shake your hands non-stop to cheat to hit the 10k.

5) Keep your student pass (despite graduating after ten years) to qualify for student meals.

6) Renting out EVERY extra rooms for money to live with two family of strangers.

7)more general ones are being credit card experts in points accumulation and booking holiday tickets one year in advance for cheap fare.

These do not mean that they are frugal in every aspects. They could steal use the latest version of iphone.

They could eat in a high end buffet meal, but always start with clayfish, salmon and red wine to go for highest cost items to achieve a fastest breakeven point.

The criminal ones should not be discussed.

These are not used by poor people but by people with upper middle class income who are mentally obsessed money grabbing hacks.
 
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Last edited:

garyfritz

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Your Bee article is great, MJ! :rofl:

But FWIW I hang out occasionally in Early Retirement & Financial Independence Community, a FIRE community full of people who don't look ANYthing like your bug-eating boy. They're more interested in investing and LBYM (living below your means) than most people, but they're not living in rusted-out trailers. In addition to FIRE and investing topics, they have lots of threads on travel, second homes, living in other countries, cruises, new cars, expensive hobbies, etc. They even have an ongoing "Blow That Dough" thread for people whose retirement accounts are growing faster than they can spend it.

It's not Fastlane, but it's definitely not insect cuisine either. It works very well for them.
 

monnffffiiiiiii

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Oct 16, 2022
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I have written a popular article against FIRE on Medium, but I don't think we should make fun of them.

These people have time. They're not entirely free, but they have time.

Something 99% of people will never get.

Not everyone is smart enough to build a company and/or make millions.

We should respect people's efforts at getting out of the rat race.

Making fun of them is no better than the group of jack dudes making fun of the skinny newbie at the gym.
 

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