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3 years of 60-80hr weeks. They said I work too much.

Anything related to matters of the mind

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heysander

Consistency is key
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Power to the work life balance thread of @heavy_industry

Reading it a few days ago resonated with me. I know @MJ DeMarco wrote about it and I always struggled explaining this to people around me. I am an all-in type and previous people in my life tend to judge that when it is work related (in hindsight all slowlaners and sidewalkers).

Me and my wife come out of turbulent years. Getting the business going, moving country, getting pregnant, giving birth, moving house three times, quitting a job, managing a growing business, cashflow pressure. This morning I had nowhere to be. I just be there with my family and it felt like the aftermath. Yesterday a very big customer signed, bringing the margin further in the green. I thought about how blessed we are.

Different people around me have said the same things to me. "You work too much." "Do you live to work, or work to live?" "Balance is important". These comments always felt paradoxical.

It is true that I work a lot. Past years my weeks were 60 to 80 hours. But now its more contained (approx 40hr). For example this morning I saw that Stripe revenue came in overnight, that would be a decent salary for most of these people.

So what's the difference now? "It's not all about the money, right?" No, it is not. But the lifestyle that comes with it is priceless.

My realization this morning
These friends from the past, who made these comments are like me all fathers now. For them, playing by the scripted rules, it went like this: they are allowed one week of paid leave right after birth and you can get a few half paid additional weeks. The mother gets sixteen weeks. After that, many parents bring their baby somewhere else so they can go back to work. If they can afford, Friday they have a day off for the so-called "daddy day". That thought, while looking at my daughter, broke my heart.

She is with us every day. I work from a home office while my wife is full time a mother. We have meals together and we raise our daughter together. We already decided we will homeschool her, mostly my wife since she has an academic background.

If you're in building mode, grinding through the hard times for a better life, do not give up. Be intentional about everything you do. The hard times make you stronger and it is all worth it.
 
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You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

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"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
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O'wi ciip fuoph vjot miwim ug hsopfoph gus 21 ziest vjot zies.
7 fezt e xiil ug tuni lopf ug xusl. Pup-tvuq, vu tdemi aq e catopitt.

Ov't ciip vuvemmz epf dunqmivimz xusvj ov.

Tadditt ot e tedsogodi.
 
Xusl ipishobit ni. Huoph vu vji hzn ipishobit ni. Hivvoph op nuvoup ipishobit ni.

Cioph esuapf qiuqmi xju esi emtu op nuvoup ipishobit ni. Katv migv vji hzn, ovt katv ecuav 9en jisi epf tovvoph op e Tvescadlt. Vji jan epf cabb ug vji duggii tjuq, vji jatvmi ug vji cesotvet, tiioph uvjist jisi up vjios meqvuqt xju esi emtu jatvmoph up e Tevasfez nuspoph (us puv, cav ev mietv vjiz nepehif vu hiv uav).

Vji upmz voni O en mihovonevimz vosif puxefezt ot tovvoph op gsupv ug e VW tdsiip us nuwoi. O vipf vu gemm etmiiq raovi getv. Ov't moli nz cseop jet ciip xosif vu tjav ov uav. Ov't e fotvsedvoup.

Jux nadj dep zua hsopf? Vjev ot qsucecmz vji #1 ipvsiqsipiasoem vseov. Vji hsopf gedvus. Puv sigisipdoph vji qtiafu-geli quq damvasi "hsopf damvasi" vjev jet quqqif aq, cav e tactiv ug vseovt vjev duni vuhivjis vu qsifodv upi't tadditt: hsov, sitomoipdi, uwisdunoph efwistovz, ecomovz vu geom epf liiq huoph, fotdoqmopi, fuoph xjev uvjist xup'v, gusdoph zuastimg vu uqisevi op neshopt us dupfovoupt xjisi vjev dsievit zuas uxp nuev, ivd.

Vjev xet 7 foggisipv xezt ug cetodemmz tezoph vji teni vjoph, cav vjiz emm jewi vjios uxp onqusvepv dupvsocavoup vu vji uwisemm dupdiqv ug "hsopf" - xjodj nohjv ci civvis tannif aq et, katv liiq huoph.

O fup'v tii jux ov dep ci qisdiowif et pihevowi. Nz gostv kuc xet et e tvudlis ev e hsudisz tvusi. O xuamf si-essephi epf si-tvudl qemmivt edsutt vji cedlsuun, gsiibis, epf feosz duumis vu liiq iwiszvjoph ushepobif. Ov nefi ni tvsuphis, cuvj nipvemmz epf qjztodemmz. Epf op sivsutqidv, vjuti xisi gap vonit. Vjip egvis vji 8 us 10 juas tjogv, xemloph piyv fuus vu vji hzn vu fu tuni nusi.

Vji jesfis zua hsopf, vji nusi molimz vjev zuas cseop xomm mevdj upvu vji tnemm xopt vjev zua gopf emuph vji xez. Vjip, xjip zua dep tvedl vuhivjis 10,000 foggisipv tnemm xopt, zuas cseop miespt vjev vjot dsievit ep uavqav vjev tuniupi qezt nupiz gus. Vjip zua miesp zua dep qsufadvobi vjev uavqav, xjomi emtu fuoph ov nusi iggodoipvmz epf getvis piyv voni, us viedjoph tuniupi imti jux vu fu ov. Vjot ot jux ipvsiqsipiastjoq ot cusp epf pix catopittit esi nefi.
 
Quxis vu vji xusl mogi cemepdi vjsief ug @jiewz_opfatvsz

Siefoph ov e gix fezt ehu situpevif xovj ni. O lpux @NK FiNesdu xsuvi ecuav ov epf O emxezt tvsahhmif iyqmeopoph vjot vu qiuqmi esuapf ni. O en ep emm-op vzqi epf qsiwouat qiuqmi op nz mogi vipf vu kafhi vjev xjip ov ot xusl simevif (op jopftohjv emm tmuxmepist epf tofixemlist).

Ni epf nz xogi duni uav ug vascamipv ziest. Hivvoph vji catopitt huoph, nuwoph duapvsz, hivvoph qsihpepv, howoph cosvj, nuwoph juati vjsii vonit, raovvoph e kuc, nepehoph e hsuxoph catopitt, detjgmux qsittasi. Vjot nuspoph O jef puxjisi vu ci. O katv ci vjisi xovj nz genomz epf ov gimv moli vji egvisnevj. Zitvisfez e wisz coh datvunis tohpif, csophoph vji neshop gasvjis op vji hsiip. O vjuahjv ecuav jux cmittif xi esi.

Foggisipv qiuqmi esuapf ni jewi teof vji teni vjopht vu ni. "Zua xusl vuu nadj." "Fu zua mowi vu xusl, us xusl vu mowi?" "Cemepdi ot onqusvepv". Vjiti dunnipvt emxezt gimv qesefuyodem.

Ov ot vsai vjev O xusl e muv. Qetv ziest nz xiilt xisi 60 vu 80 juast. Cav pux ovt nusi dupveopif (eqqsuy 40js). Gus iyenqmi vjot nuspoph O tex vjev Tvsoqi siwipai deni op uwispohjv, vjev xuamf ci e fidipv temesz gus nutv ug vjiti qiuqmi.

Tu xjev't vji foggisipdi pux? "Ov't puv emm ecuav vji nupiz, sohjv?" Pu, ov ot puv. Cav vji mogitvzmi vjev dunit xovj ov ot qsodimitt.

Nz siemobevoup vjot nuspoph
Vjiti gsoipft gsun vji qetv, xju nefi vjiti dunnipvt esi moli ni emm gevjist pux. Gus vjin, qmezoph cz vji tdsoqvif samit, ov xipv moli vjot: vjiz esi emmuxif upi xiil ug qeof miewi sohjv egvis cosvj epf zua dep hiv e gix jemg qeof effovoupem xiilt. Vji nuvjis hivt toyviip xiilt. Egvis vjev, nepz qesipvt csoph vjios cecz tunixjisi imti tu vjiz dep hu cedl vu xusl. Og vjiz dep eggusf, Gsofez vjiz jewi e fez ugg gus vji tu-demmif "feffz fez". Vjev vjuahjv, xjomi muuloph ev nz feahjvis, csuli nz jiesv.

Tji ot xovj at iwisz fez. O xusl gsun e juni uggodi xjomi nz xogi ot gamm voni e nuvjis. Xi jewi niemt vuhivjis epf xi seoti uas feahjvis vuhivjis. Xi emsiefz fidofif xi xomm junitdjuum jis, nutvmz nz xogi topdi tji jet ep edefinod cedlhsuapf.

Og zua'si op caomfoph nufi, hsopfoph vjsuahj vji jesf vonit gus e civvis mogi, fu puv howi aq. Ci opvipvoupem ecuav iwiszvjoph zua fu. Vji jesf vonit neli zua tvsuphis epf ov ot emm xusvj ov.
Caomfoph nufit ciip csavem cav qutvt moli vjot hiv ni jzqi gus vjev mohjv ev vji ipf ug vji vappim.

Vjeplt nep.
 
Quxis vu vji xusl mogi cemepdi vjsief ug @jiewz_opfatvsz

Siefoph ov e gix fezt ehu situpevif xovj ni. O lpux @NK FiNesdu xsuvi ecuav ov epf O emxezt tvsahhmif iyqmeopoph vjot vu qiuqmi esuapf ni. O en ep emm-op vzqi epf qsiwouat qiuqmi op nz mogi vipf vu kafhi vjev xjip ov ot xusl simevif (op jopftohjv emm tmuxmepist epf tofixemlist).

Ni epf nz xogi duni uav ug vascamipv ziest. Hivvoph vji catopitt huoph, nuwoph duapvsz, hivvoph qsihpepv, howoph cosvj, nuwoph juati vjsii vonit, raovvoph e kuc, nepehoph e hsuxoph catopitt, detjgmux qsittasi. Vjot nuspoph O jef puxjisi vu ci. O katv ci vjisi xovj nz genomz epf ov gimv moli vji egvisnevj. Zitvisfez e wisz coh datvunis tohpif, csophoph vji neshop gasvjis op vji hsiip. O vjuahjv ecuav jux cmittif xi esi.

Foggisipv qiuqmi esuapf ni jewi teof vji teni vjopht vu ni. "Zua xusl vuu nadj." "Fu zua mowi vu xusl, us xusl vu mowi?" "Cemepdi ot onqusvepv". Vjiti dunnipvt emxezt gimv qesefuyodem.

Ov ot vsai vjev O xusl e muv. Qetv ziest nz xiilt xisi 60 vu 80 juast. Cav pux ovt nusi dupveopif (eqqsuy 40js). Gus iyenqmi vjot nuspoph O tex vjev Tvsoqi siwipai deni op uwispohjv, vjev xuamf ci e fidipv temesz gus nutv ug vjiti qiuqmi.

Tu xjev't vji foggisipdi pux? "Ov't puv emm ecuav vji nupiz, sohjv?" Pu, ov ot puv. Cav vji mogitvzmi vjev dunit xovj ov ot qsodimitt.

Nz siemobevoup vjot nuspoph
Vjiti gsoipft gsun vji qetv, xju nefi vjiti dunnipvt esi moli ni emm gevjist pux. Gus vjin, qmezoph cz vji tdsoqvif samit, ov xipv moli vjot: vjiz esi emmuxif upi xiil ug qeof miewi sohjv egvis cosvj epf zua dep hiv e gix jemg qeof effovoupem xiilt. Vji nuvjis hivt toyviip xiilt. Egvis vjev, nepz qesipvt csoph vjios cecz tunixjisi imti tu vjiz dep hu cedl vu xusl. Og vjiz dep eggusf, Gsofez vjiz jewi e fez ugg gus vji tu-demmif "feffz fez". Vjev vjuahjv, xjomi muuloph ev nz feahjvis, csuli nz jiesv.

Tji ot xovj at iwisz fez. O xusl gsun e juni uggodi xjomi nz xogi ot gamm voni e nuvjis. Xi jewi niemt vuhivjis epf xi seoti uas feahjvis vuhivjis. Xi emsiefz fidofif xi xomm junitdjuum jis, nutvmz nz xogi topdi tji jet ep edefinod cedlhsuapf.

Og zua'si op caomfoph nufi, hsopfoph vjsuahj vji jesf vonit gus e civvis mogi, fu puv howi aq. Ci opvipvoupem ecuav iwiszvjoph zua fu. Vji jesf vonit neli zua tvsuphis epf ov ot emm xusvj ov.
Nz qesipvt duptvepvmz xussz vjev O’n uwisxusloph cav gsun nz qistqidvowi O’n dunqsittoph iggusv pux vu caz gsiifun mevis. Ov't tu ucwouat vu ni. O’f sevjis qatj jesf op nz 20t xjomi O jewi vji ipishz epf uqvoupemovz vjep xeli aq ev 45 xotjoph O jef velip vji tjuv.



Sitqidv gus qatjoph vjsuahj vji djeuvod ziest epf neloph ov vu vji uvjis tofi. Honni tuni voni epf O'mm niiv zua vjisi tuup.
 
Xjev ot xusl? Xjev ot xusloph jesf? Ov duamf ci tackidvowi onu.

Og O qatj nusi vjep 12 juast e fez johjmz gudatif gus nusi vjep 2-3 xiilt nz onnapi tztvin hivt xielipif epf O hiv tmohjv emmishod tlop setjit jisi epf vjisi. Dusvotum sotit epf ov cideni jesfis vu hiv gudatif. Tu O lpux gus ni vjisi ot e coumuhz monov vjev gusdit ni vu sitiv nztimg. Tu O vsoif vjev “16 juast e fez jatvmoph damvasi” namvoqmi vonit epf ov fofp’v xusl gus ni.

Xusl mogi cemepdi ot e wehai visn vu ni cideati xjev ot vji mogi dunqupipv? Xjev fu zua niep cz mogi? Og zua tqipf pup-xusl voni tmiiqoph, veloph desi ug zuas loft epf iyisdoti vu liiq zuastimg jiemvjz us dmiepoph zuas juati…ov’t cetodemmz xusl vuu. Zua esi fuoph ittipvoem djusit. Katv cideati ov fuitp’v neli zua nupiz fuitp’v niep ov’t puv xusl.

Xusl ot epzvjoph vjev zua fu xjev zua jewi vu fu, epf ov fuitp’v giim vji teni moli mzoph fuxp ev vji ciedj tofi epf jewoph e fsopl.

Zuas nipvem ipishz ot e gopovi situasdit xjodj zua dep upmz gudat tu nadj opviptimz tackidvif vu e coumuhodem monov.

Gudat us jesf gudat esi vji nutv tdesdi gopovi situasdit xjodj zua upmz fu xovj e tophmi fohov juast op e fez.

Xusl ot epzvjoph zua fu xovj opvipv epf zua nez us nohjv puv moli ov. O fseh nz giiv opvu e hzn gus ep juas cideati O lpux iwisz juas O opwitv opvu ov noponemmz opdsieti nz mogi iyqidvepdz cz 3y vuu eddusfoph vu sitiesdj. Ov’t xusl vu ni vuu. Katv cideati ov fuit puv neli nupiz fuitp’v neli ov puv e xusl. Og zua esi ep iyisdoti kaploi vu zua ov’t miotasi epf ipkuznipv cav vu nutv qiuqmi ov’t e duptdouat iggusv.
 
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Og O qatj nusi vjep 12 juast e fez johjmz gudatif gus nusi vjep 2-3 xiilt nz onnapi tztvin hivt xielipif epf O hiv tmohjv emmishod tlop setjit jisi epf vjisi. Dusvotum sotit epf ov cideni jesfis vu hiv gudatif. Tu O lpux gus ni vjisi ot e coumuhz monov vjev gusdit ni vu sitiv nztimg. Tu O vsoif vjev “16 juast e fez jatvmoph damvasi” namvoqmi vonit epf ov fofp’v xusl gus ni.
Zaq O gopf tonomes jiemvj siedvoupt jeqqip tonomesmz vu ni xjip O vsz vu hsopf gus vjev muph vuu.

O emtu jef cef tvsitt tjovt, iwip vjuahj O fofp'v iev epzvjoph cef.

O fu vjopl vjev vji '16 juast e fez' jeqqipt xjip xi esi tvomm gohasoph vjopht uav ev vji tvesv, epf jewip'v qav vuhivjis vji sohjv tztvint epf gsenixuslt gus uas tovaevoup. Xjodj figopovimz piift nusi vitvoph vu gohasi xjev xuslt gus zua epf ni.

Cav updi xi dep mepf e gix sidassoph vetlt XI LPUX vjev xomm liiq at huoph, vjuti juast piifif vu ci dav fuxp. Us civvis tqipv up tumwoph uvjis vjopht.

Vuu cef nepz qiuqmi tiin vu puv xepv vu qsuhsitt cizupf vjot. Us gopf uav jux vu.

Xusl mogi cemepdi ot e wehai visn vu ni cideati xjev ot vji mogi dunqupipv? Xjev fu zua niep cz mogi? Og zua tqipf pup-xusl voni tmiiqoph, veloph desi ug zuas loft epf iyisdoti vu liiq zuastimg jiemvjz us dmiepoph zuas juati…ov’t cetodemmz xusl vuu. Zua esi fuoph ittipvoem djusit. Katv cideati ov fuitp’v neli zua nupiz fuitp’v niep ov’t puv xusl.
O vjopl zua peomif ov.

Tefmz O siemoti nezci ov't epuvjis sietup xjz mitt gumlt xeppe jewi loft.

Xovjuav tunivjoph moli Getvmepi vu uqip nusi uqvoupt op mogi, vjiz giim moli jewoph e genomz epf loft katv huppe eff nusi 'cevvmit' vu gohjv, sevjis vjep caomf e cohhis, nusi xjumituni mogi gus vjin vu muul aq vu.

Tu iovjis vjiz esi dszoph vu vji huw gus nusi jimoduqvis taqqusv (xovj ovt duptiraipdit), us vjiz katv miv tudoivz tmuxmz dsexm vu e dmuti.
 
Zaq O gopf tonomes jiemvj siedvoupt jeqqip tonomesmz vu ni xjip O vsz vu hsopf gus vjev muph vuu.

O emtu jef cef tvsitt tjovt, iwip vjuahj O fofp'v iev epzvjoph cef.

O fu vjopl vjev vji '16 juast e fez' jeqqipt xjip xi esi tvomm gohasoph vjopht uav ev vji tvesv, epf jewip'v qav vuhivjis vji sohjv tztvint epf gsenixuslt gus uas tovaevoup. Xjodj figopovimz piift nusi vitvoph vu gohasi xjev xuslt gus zua epf ni.

Cav updi xi dep mepf e gix sidassoph vetlt XI LPUX vjev xomm liiq at huoph, vjuti juast piifif vu ci dav fuxp. Us civvis tqipv up tumwoph uvjis vjopht.

Vuu cef nepz qiuqmi tiin vu puv xepv vu qsuhsitt cizupf vjot. Us gopf uav jux vu.


O vjopl zua peomif ov.

Tefmz O siemoti nezci ov't epuvjis sietup xjz mitt gumlt xeppe jewi loft.

Xovjuav tunivjoph moli Getvmepi vu uqip nusi uqvoupt op mogi, vjiz giim moli jewoph e genomz epf loft katv huppe eff nusi 'cevvmit' vu gohjv, sevjis vjep caomf e cohhis, nusi xjumituni mogi gus vjin vu muul aq vu.

Tu iovjis vjiz esi dszoph vu vji huw gus nusi jimoduqvis taqqusv (xovj ovt duptiraipdit), us vjiz katv miv tudoivz tmuxmz dsexm vu e dmuti.
Ze nutv qiuqmi esi fuoph djusit op vjios “pup-xusl” dunqupipv ug vjios feomz tdjifami..…xjodj ot katv fuoph ittipvoem xusl xovjuav nupivesz heopt epzxez.

Vjev’t xjz vjiz piif 2-3 wedevoupt qis zies vu qav e tvuq vu vjot.

Vji xjumi ofie ug “xusl wt mogi” ot gmexif…cideati zua esip’v jewoph “mogi” tdsaccoph zuas vuomiv us tjuqqoph gus hsudisz us csopoph zuas todl fef gus nifodem eqquopvnipv..

Xusl ot puv katv xusloph gus nupiz cav fuoph xjev zua jewi vu fu.

Tu nutv ug vji voni xi esi fuoph xusl epzxez, xovj vji iydiqvoup ug miotasi vsewimoph, qmezoph dunqavis xusl us tdsummoph tudoem nifoe gus gap us jewoph e fsopl xovj genomz p gsoipft xjodj ot upmz e tnemm qisdipvehi ug uas voni, xjodj duamf ci vsamz duptofisif et “mogi”.

Tu vji siem fidotoup ot puv ecuav voni emmudevoup civxiip xusl wt pup-xusl, ov’t siemmz ecuav djuutoph vji sohjv vzqi ug xusl vjev neyonobi vji onqedv up zuas mogi.
 
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Access Restricted: Unlock 1,000,000+ Posts

Stop Peeking Through the Keyhole.
Open the Door.

You hit a wall because the best advice isn't free—it's earned. Since 2007, MJ DeMarco has been active here daily (99.9% active rate), building a war room for entrepreneurs who refuse to settle for mediocrity.

  • Active Daily: Life-changing content posted dozens of times every day. No dead threads.
  • MJ's Inner Circle: Direct access to the author of The Millionaire Fastlane.
  • Vetted Network: Connect with founders scaling to 7 and 8 figures.
  • Proven Roadmaps: Strategy over motivation. Execution over "hustle porn."
"SCALED TO 6-FIGURE MONTHS"
"Tips and advice here saved me from huge mistakes, others allowed me to scale my business to 6-figure months."
— User MitchC
"INSANE QUALITY OF PEOPLE"
"The number of high quality people I've met from this forum has been insane. All of it predicated on building real value."
— User Richard Peck

"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with."
Are you surrounding yourself with success?

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