Lex DeVille's: 15 Days to Freedom - Make Money Copywriting in 15 Days or Less

[TheGrind]

Here's why you have to be different and better. Why you can't just produce the same crap.

Copywriting is the most populated category of freelancer on UpWork.

Clients have a lot to choose from. And all these freelancers want your gigs.

This is also why it's wise to depart UpWork as soon as you're ready.

Also why you need to niche down. Pick a field and specialize if you wanna get found.

View attachment 13262

I agree in niching down. What I did is rather than specialize in a field (that'd get boring for me) I chose to only write sales letters and VSLs and be known for that. It makes sense because my best work is sales letters and I genuinely enjoy writing them.

Stand out or you won't succeed.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[arfadugus]

Day 9 Challenge
​

1. Close your eyes and imagine selling your first product or service. If you're already selling something, then imagine taking it to the next level. Get a solid picture of what that will look & feel like, and what you'll do with all the extra money you'll have when you achieve it!

2. Help someone without asking anything in return. After today's lesson you may start to understand that everything is an exchange of energy, and nothing ever goes without return. Just because you don't ask for something in return doesn't mean you don't get something in return.

3. Take some action you've been avoiding. Maybe you've waited to build a profile, or maybe you're afraid to contact clients. Maybe you're afraid to pick up the phone and call someone. Whatever it is, just do it.

4. Write 5 creative headlines that MAKE THEM STOP.

5. Write 3 paragraphs of copy utilizing some of the tools from today's lesson.

​

"Vegan Diet on a Budget, Meals in 10 Minutes or Less!"
"Caffeine and Energy? Hint, It's Just an Illusion"
"Healthy Vegan Diet, Experts Say."
"Minimalist 6 Pack Abs, Take the Short Cut."
"Dieting Without Splitting Hunger, Tips and Tricks."

GUMMY BEAR METEOR!​

We have found what you are looking for, the only problem is that there is only one of it's kind.
Found in a rare meteor, this new element has the power to transform solid metal into Gummy Bears instantly. We have named it, Gummanite.
Your Gummy Bear Factory will never be the same.
Top scientists have studied the element and have found that the gummy bears taste 5 times better than all other leading brands and is safe and healthy to eat.

We have done you the favor of testing our samples out with your customers. Here's what these gummy enthusiasts had to say.
Karen from Oklahoma says, "These taste out of this world! I want some more!"
Dave from Utah says, "The flavor is absolutely amazing, this should get an award!"
Lex says, "So Juicy! Sign me up!"

Positive reviews were so common that we ended up having to close the study because people kept coming back for more! Instead of selling you gummy bears that you can sell to other people, we understand the need to cut out the middle man. We are going to offer you our only Gummanite. You will be able to make countless gummy bears to sell with ease. Can you smell $$$$$?

There is a meeting to auction off Gummanite on October 10th at the Los Angeles Modern Auction Center at 6 pm.

Meet us there and bring your best investors.

Thank you.

 

[arfadugus]

Day 10 Challenge
​

1. Answer the questions and try the exercises above if you haven't already done so.

2. Help someone in some way. Solve a problem for them. Ask nothing in return.

3. Take action on something you've been procrastinating on, or putting off.

4. Write 5 headlines that are very specific - targeted toward a niche audience.

5. Write a short 2 to 3 paragraph, persuasive product description (not a sales letter).

​

"Quit Caffeine Easy"
"Stop Caffeine Withdrawl!"
"Caffeinism and Your Depression."
"Fake Benefits of Your Daily Jolt!"
"Energy All Day!"

"Overgrowth Super Health Bars"

Have you ever looked at an ingredients list? Do you know exactly what all of those ingredients are?
Chances are, if you are like me, you don't. Yet we still put that mystery matter into our bodies.
Who know's what that is doing to our body!?

With Overgrowth Nutrition Bars, you know exactly what you are putting into your body. Our whole foods based bars only include natural ingredients.
Simple, whole food ingredients, will make you sure about eating them. Why take the risk of doing anything else?

Mouth watering flavors will leave you satisfied for hours. You can pick delicious blueberry, Savory Huckleberry, or Tart cherry for a zing! Leave the guilt behind. Fiber, antioxidants, protein, healthy fats and starches are the name of the health game. And that is what overgrowth bars will give you!

 

[arfadugus]

Day 11 Challenge​

​

1. Write a 2 to 3 paragraph short story about a product that explains how it came into existence. How was it born from a need. How did it manifest from a problem.

2. Write 3 mind blowing headlines that would make someone want to read your story.

3. Help someone and ask nothing in return.

4. Take one action you've been putting off. Seriously, just do that shit now!!!

5. Take a moment to yourself, calm your mind, and review your vision.

6. Remember your life metaphor and integrate it into your vision.

1.

I GREW UP WITH A DESTINY TO BE AVERAGE. MY GRADES WERE C’S AND D’S IN HIGH SCHOOL. I NEVER HAD ANY TALENTS. AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WAS A DRUG ADDICT FOR 4 YEARS WITH NO DIRECTION IN LIFE, NO PASSION, NO GOALS.

I WASN’T THE MOST ETHICAL PERSON AND I WASN’T HEADED TOWARD ANYTHING GOOD.

BARELY AVOIDING 90 DAYS IN JAIL I HAD TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND. AND THAT’S WHAT I DID. I QUIT DRUGS, I QUIT CIGARETTES, I GOT A RIPPED BODY. I BEAT POWERLIFTING PERSONAL RECORDS, I STARTED JIU-JITSU, AND TEACHING MYSELF PIANO AND GUITAR.

I WORKED WITH A SPECIAL NEEDS KID FOR 5 YEARS. I READ 200 BOOKS AND LEARNED A LITTLE BIT ABOUT EVERYTHING. I COMPLETELY ALTERED MY DESTINY AND I ENJOY THE PRESENT MORE THAN EVER AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE FUTURE.

NOW I WANT TO HELP OTHERS LIKE ME FIND DIRECTION AND START KICKING a$$ AT LIFE.​

2.
"From Shithead to Fithead, I'm Here to Teach You How!"
"Started From the Bottom Now Let's Go to the Top!"
"How an Average Joe Became a Bad a$$"

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[arfadugus]

.Day 12 Challenge
​

1. Write 5 headlines that target both pain & pleasure.

2. Write 2 paragraphs of copy that utilize storytelling & metaphors to speak to both audiences (pain & pleasure).

3. Do something for someone without asking anything in return.

4. Take action toward something that gives you pleasure, or away from something painful. Make sure it moves you toward your goals.

5. Get a clear picture of your vision in your mind and just focus on it for a few minutes at the start of your day. Focus on accomplishing it. See yourself from the present moment as if you've already achieved that vision.

​

1.
"Fix Back Pain Fast and Get On With Your Life!"
"Kill Insomnia and Start living With This One Simple Trick"
"Finally Get Out of Debt and be Financially Free!"
"Thirst Be Gone! Fill Your Taste Buds With Delight!"
"Quit Working for That Guy and Buy a Lamborghini!

2.
Imagine you are in a room. There is a bum in the corner staring you down as if you were a big old pile of cold hard cash. There is a rude lady talking loudly on her phone and you can't hear your own thoughts because of it. There is a toddler throwing a tantrum, creating such a frenzy, while his mom mentally zones herself out, ignoring the beast. You are late for an important business meeting. Your stress level rises.

Leave the room, get in your car. You head into a never ending river of traffic. You start to get irritated. You sit back in your seat. You need to calm yourself down. You take a deep breath and crank up some tunes. Suddenly a vast euphoria piles over you, like you are floating in space. One of your favorite songs is on and it sounds like you haven't heard it for ten years. You start to sing a long. Then the next song is just as good!

Suddenly you are at you meeting. 5 minutes early! That deep breath! That music! This is the power of meditation that will change your life.

 

[arfadugus]

Alright. Not posting my challenge responses for the rest of the days. But I'm still going to do them. Going to immediately craft my Upwork profile and start working on getting gigs. Thanks Lex this has been a great help! You are an inspiration!

 

[arfadugus]

Just finished my first copywriting job! Wrote a 780 word brochure for a farm/ school for young adults with developmental disabilities. And guess what?

I used the techniques I learned here to actually sell myself and get the gig.

Who would have thought? Do this challenge guys. You have NOTHING to lose and $$$$$$$ to gain! This thread should be GOLD

Keeping up this momentum. I'll post my progress and hopefully inspire you guys to take this challenge.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Lex DeVille]

Caught a glimpse of Y.O.U. focus on my coconut water today.

Funny, I had like 10 different brands to choose from.

All coconut water...literally the only ingredient is coconut water.

Which one did I choose?

The one that used Y.O.U. six times, barely touched the word "we" and never "I".

 

[Jon L]

Cut that statement from your dictionary right now. Never say it again.

You did the best you could based on where you're at. In time you'll learn and grow.

Never discount your own work when you do the best you can.

And if it's not the best you can do...don't use it. Do better.

Just do your best. That's how you form the process if you wanna be a pro.

this is sooo true. Nothing has held me back more than the combination of perfectionism and discounting my current abilities.

 

[arfadugus]

Filled out my profile On Upwork and Posted The job I just did. Here's my profile summary.

You need to grab the attention of millions of fancy little penguins to get sales NOW.

You want those furry little guys to bring you their nicest shiny black pebbles. They dragged their asses through an ice cold TORNADO blizzard to find you these precious stones.

You want to prove your ultimate product's VALUE and get your little fancy a$$ customers to BUY.

Am I getting close?

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a sketchy ferocious Sea Lion. They eat your baby penguins. You wouldn't want that. Your penguins really don't want that.

Those Communist Sea Lions don't understand what your little penguins desire! I do. I will make them hungry so you can give them yummy fish. And then THEY will give you their fancy pebbles to thank you.

I'm a Ninja copywriter straight from the ANTARCTIC. It doesn't get more underground than that. You won't fine these skills anywhere else. (Unless approved by yours truly)

Visual persuasion- take your readers on a journey down a yellow brick road leading straight to your castle.

Access penguin central and Peripheral route thinking processes- Statistics for bigger purchases and examples for smaller.

Penguins will like you!- Make them like you, get more sales. Easy peazy.

Get it from the experts!- Experts say that getting an expert to back up your product is the way to go.

Compare and blow competition out of the water.- why not say what your competitor does good? Then tell your customer why you are even better!

Take advantage of customer commitment laws- People like to be consistent, lets take advantage of that.

Repetition Repetition Repetition- Ingrain your product into their little penguin heads.

Keep them reading with rhetorical questions- Think that is a good idea?

Offer length for strength- get lazy Penguins to cough up their hard earned pebbles.

Testimonials- for social proof.

SIMPLIFY

Customers want benefits!- tell them what's in it for them!

Scarcity for those who want what they can't have! (btw my time is limited to contact me before your competition does.)

PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS

Avoid common copy errors- don't do this.

Specificity- make them visualize eating your fish

Use the right fonts!

Am I asking the right questions?

OPTIMAL picture recommendations

Long copy is PROVEN- I won't be lazy

Online response wizard
_________________________________________________________________________________

Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GuestUser155]

Filled out my profile On Upwork and Posted The job I just did. Here's my profile summary.

You need to grab the attention of millions of fancy little penguins to get sales NOW.

You want those furry little guys to bring you their nicest shiny black pebbles. They dragged their asses through an ice cold TORNADO blizzard to find you these precious stones.

You want to prove your ultimate product's VALUE and get your little fancy a$$ customers to BUY.

Am I getting close?

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a sketchy ferocious Sea Lion. They eat your baby penguins. You wouldn't want that. Your penguins really don't want that.

Those Communist Sea Lions don't understand what your little penguins desire! I do. I will make them hungry so you can give them yummy fish. And then THEY will give you their fancy pebbles to thank you.

I'm a Ninja copywriter straight from the ANTARCTIC. It doesn't get more underground than that. You won't fine these skills anywhere else. (Unless approved by yours truly)

Visual persuasion- take your readers on a journey down a yellow brick road leading straight to your castle.

Access penguin central and Peripheral route thinking processes- Statistics for bigger purchases and examples for smaller.

Penguins will like you!- Make them like you, get more sales. Easy peazy.

Get it from the experts!- Experts say that getting an expert to back up your product is the way to go.

Compare and blow competition out of the water.- why not say what your competitor does good? Then tell your customer why you are even better!

Take advantage of customer commitment laws- People like to be consistent, lets take advantage of that.

Repetition Repetition Repetition- Ingrain your product into their little penguin heads.

Keep them reading with rhetorical questions- Think that is a good idea?

Offer length for strength- get lazy Penguins to cough up their hard earned pebbles.

Testimonials- for social proof.

SIMPLIFY

Customers want benefits!- tell them what's in it for them!

Scarcity for those who want what they can't have! (btw my time is limited to contact me before your competition does.)

PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS

Avoid common copy errors- don't do this.

Specificity- make them visualize eating your fish

Use the right fonts!

Am I asking the right questions?

OPTIMAL picture recommendations

Long copy is PROVEN- I won't be lazy

Online response wizard
_________________________________________________________________________________

Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require.

I've read a bunch of your posts in this thread and you're very passionate about copywriting. Haven't found anyone else like it.

First things first: Not everyone can make the distinction that penguins = customers; pebbles = money; sea lion = other writers; maybe make the distinction a bit more concrete.

Second: Don't curse if you're not going to follow through with a certain facade. If you're being cute in your writing and you use curses for synonyms, it just looks like a kid is writing it. If you're acting tough and macho, it can be pulled off. There are a few other frames to act out, but cute is not one that works well for the majority of the population (think of the high-pitched Alvin and the chipmunks cursing).

Third: "Am I getting close?" I wouldn't use a question. They came here to look for a copywriter, they know what they're looking for and you KNOW you can give them exactly what they need.

Fourth: You add a lot of extra descriptors that don't make sense. Use as simple and as brief language as possible. "Communist Sea Lions" that doesn't make any sense. They're selling their services for money, they're most likely capitalist. "TORNADO blizzard," there aren't tornadoes in Antarctica. As well, there aren't sea lions. There are, however, seals and they eat penguins.

"Get it from the experts!- Experts say that getting an expert to back up your product is the way to go." Expert, expert, expert. Synonyms, find some. "Professionals, experienced copywriters, etc."

Also, play around with different dividers (your hyphens). The one's you're using aren't really that pleasing to the eye and they just look like bad sentences.

I also believe that you should think about wrapping up your hook (theme of penguins) and not let it bleed into your REAL copy. It catches the eye, but it can get cumbersome to read.

Like always, fix up the spelling and grammar. This is important, if your summary isn't 100% clean, you're gonna lose a lot of guys who think you can't pay attention to detail.

Just some thoughts. Happy hunting!

 

[arfadugus]

I've read a bunch of your posts in this thread and you're very passionate about copywriting. Haven't found anyone else like it.

First things first: Not everyone can make the distinction that penguins = customers; pebbles = money; sea lion = other writers; maybe make the distinction a bit more concrete.

Second: Don't curse if you're not going to follow through with a certain facade. If you're being cute in your writing and you use curses for synonyms, it just looks like a kid is writing it. If you're acting tough and macho, it can be pulled off. There are a few other frames to act out, but cute is not one that works well for the majority of the population (think of the high-pitched Alvin and the chipmunks cursing).

Third: "Am I getting close?" I wouldn't use a question. They came here to look for a copywriter, they know what they're looking for and you KNOW you can give them exactly what they need.

Fourth: You add a lot of extra descriptors that don't make sense. Use as simple and as brief language as possible. "Communist Sea Lions" that doesn't make any sense. They're selling their services for money, they're most likely capitalist. "TORNADO blizzard," there aren't tornadoes in Antarctica. As well, there aren't sea lions. There are, however, seals and they eat penguins.

"Get it from the experts!- Experts say that getting an expert to back up your product is the way to go." Expert, expert, expert. Synonyms, find some. "Professionals, experienced copywriters, etc."

Also, play around with different dividers (your hyphens). The one's you're using aren't really that pleasing to the eye and they just look like bad sentences.

I also believe that you should think about wrapping up your hook (theme of penguins) and not let it bleed into your REAL copy. It catches the eye, but it can get cumbersome to read.

Like always, fix up the spelling and grammar. This is important, if your summary isn't 100% clean, you're gonna lose a lot of guys who think you can't pay attention to detail.

Just some thoughts. Happy hunting!

Omg Thanks for such a thorough breakdown. Didn't see so many things that seem so obvious now. I will get betterrrrrrr.

 

[Brian C.]

Day 1 Challenge

Anxious to get going, I vacuumed every room in my parents' house and watered their plants. Doesn't put me in the realm of sainthood, but it will make their lives just a bit easier. Forget you.


Day 2 Challenge

1. Your Business Can Save the World (Organic Packaging)
2. Less Words - MORE SALES (My copywriting services)
3. Save Trees and Use Paper (Post Consumer Recycled Paper)
4. Bring Wealth into Your Life (Fastlane Forum)
5. Surround Yourself with Wealth (Fastlane Forum)


The best thing about starting with little to no experience is that you can only get better.

While doing this exercise, an Amazon related podcast recommended going to Fiverr to find a Copywriter for product descriptions. Plenty of opportunities/antelope out there.

Glad I found this thread, and of course, thank you for providing immense value as always @SinisterLex

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Brian C.]

For the sake of redundancy, I decided to omit the preceding challenges for the day in this post.


Day 3 Challenge

​

If you could save the world, would you? Would you do your best to ensure a safe future for you and your loved ones - for generations to come?

You and your business CAN help save the world.

Consider this. Utilizing post-consumer recycled packaging, you and your business aid in reducing harmful pollutants. Using our recycled packaging that otherwise ends up incinerated, in landfills, and in our oceans, you not only serve your customers and yourself, but the entire world.

Do your part, and utilize our packaging for your business TODAY. We offer a wide spectrum of recycled packaging products - suitable for all of your business needs. From corrugated boxes to flexible crates - we provide it all - without harming the world we all know and love.

Imagine how you will benefit, and imagine how we will all gain.



Day 4 Challenge

Last night, I completed the necessary tax information on my Upwork account and tweaked my bio. I also took some quizzes to add more credibility to my account.

Now, it's time for action.

I am going to apply for 4 or 5 copywriting gigs and see what happens.

The "I don't think I have enough experience" mentality is no longer in effect. I'm going to get my first gig.

 

[Lex DeVille]

For the sake of redundancy, I decided to omit the preceding challenges for the day in this post.


Day 3 Challenge

​

If you could save the world, would you? Would you do your best to ensure a safe future for you and your loved ones - for generations to come?

You and your business CAN help save the world.

Consider this. Utilizing post-consumer recycled packaging, you and your business aid in reducing harmful pollutants. Using our recycled packaging that otherwise ends up incinerated, in landfills, and in our oceans, you not only serve your customers and yourself, but the entire world.

Do your part, and utilize our packaging for your business TODAY. We offer a wide spectrum of recycled packaging products - suitable for all of your business needs. From corrugated boxes to flexible crates - we provide it all - without harming the world we all know and love.

Imagine how you will benefit, and imagine how we will all gain.

Your opening sentence is good.

The question is good and gets them wondering (that's the first step in engagement and guiding them with your words). The sentence is a bit long. How might you shorten it for the same effect? Where might you add a line break so the first sentence looks short and easily digestible?

There's a good strong Y.O.U. focus throughout and I think your message speaks to the right audience. It won't reach everyone because some people don't care about saving the world. But for those who do care, they'll listen, at least through the first paragraph.

The body could be stronger. Saving the world is only the first benefit. What else does your customer get? Maybe it's a clearly defined benefit or maybe it's something more passive like a feeling. How will they feel about themselves when they use your product? You don't have to directly state it if you can show them with your words (such as with a story).

You don't want to have them "imagine" the benefits. You want to show them with descriptive language that creates a picture in their mind.

Day 4 Challenge

Last night, I completed the necessary tax information on my Upwork account and tweaked my bio. I also took some quizzes to add more credibility to my account.

Now, it's time for action.

I am going to apply for 4 or 5 copywriting gigs and see what happens.

The "I don't think I have enough experience" mentality is no longer in effect. I'm going to get my first gig.

Apply to 1.

Spend 4 to 5 hours on 1 single application. Hell, spend all day if you have to.

A lot of people sling applications at clients like darts at the bar, but that's not the way to go. Become like a heat-seeking missile and search through pages of clients if you have to until you find one that speaks to you.

You're looking for THE ONE out of all of the rest that isn't shit. THE ONE you know you can over deliver on. THE ONE that isn't going to try and cheat you or pay you practically nothing or not value your work.

When you find THE ONE, take your time and do it right...

Because THE ONE can be THE ONLY ONE you need for a long long time.

When you find the right client you can easily get good feedback, higher pay, and referrals.

I mean you gotta figure 80% of the clients on Upwork pay $50 to $100 for limited work. They don't know what a copywriter is and they don't value their service.

But every once in a while a new client shows up, or a client that highly values freelancers. Those people pay more, and they know to pay with ongoing terms, or to make the arrangement otherwise valuable for you so you'll stick around.

If you search for the right client, you can potentially have ongoing work for a long time. And since most people are just copywriting to earn money for another business, that can be really valuable for you.

While everyone else is busy constantly applying for $50 or $100 fixed gigs and earning $500 a month if they're lucky, you can hone in on that one single client who pays you $500 or $1000 or whatever on a monthly basis because you spent a F*ckton of time doing it right.

Then you can spend the rest of your time finding more THE ONEs and getting them to you.

Then you create an income and can grow as you please, or just fund whatever else you want to do.

Make sense?

 

[Brian C.]

Your opening sentence is good.

The question is good and gets them wondering (that's the first step in engagement and guiding them with your words). The sentence is a bit long. How might you shorten it for the same effect? Where might you add a line break so the first sentence looks short and easily digestible?

It's amazing how mistakes appear glaring when proper guidance is applied.

If you could save the world, would you?

Would you do your best to ensure a safe future for you and your loved ones?

I imagine the line break would better apply your STOP principle. Makes it a bit easier to digest as well.

It won't reach everyone because some people don't care about saving the world. But for those who do care, they'll listen, at least through the first paragraph.

That's an excellent point. I never looked at it that way. I realize that statement serves as a major generalization - which I've been taught can be disastrous in writing. Thanks for pointing that out.

The body could be stronger. Saving the world is only the first benefit. What else does your customer get? Maybe it's a clearly defined benefit or maybe it's something more passive like a feeling. How will they feel about themselves when they use your product? You don't have to directly state it if you can show them with your words (such as with a story).

You don't want to have them "imagine" the benefits. You want to show them with descriptive language that creates a picture in their mind.

Lex, you are scaring me man.

I've seen that last statement: "show not tell" written over my papers for the majority of my educational career. I've improved, sure, but I find that to be the most difficult challenge in writing.

I'm glad you pointed that out, despite the flashbacks of my authoritarian 10th grade teacher.

It's something I think can always be improved upon, at least for me personally.

Apply to 1.

Spend 4 to 5 hours on 1 single application. Hell, spend all day if you have to.

A lot of people sling applications at clients like darts at the bar, but that's not the way to go. Become like a heat-seeking missile and search through pages of clients if you have to until you find one that speaks to you.

You're looking for THE ONE out of all of the rest that isn't shit. THE ONE you know you can over deliver on. THE ONE that isn't going to try and cheat you or pay you practically nothing or not value your work.

When you find THE ONE, take your time and do it right...

Because THE ONE can be THE ONLY ONE you need for a long long time.

When you find the right client you can easily get good feedback, higher pay, and referrals.

I mean you gotta figure 80% of the clients on Upwork pay $50 to $100 for limited work. They don't know what a copywriter is and they don't value their service.

But every once in a while a new client shows up, or a client that highly values freelancers. Those people pay more, and they know to pay with ongoing terms, or to make the arrangement otherwise valuable for you so you'll stick around.

If you search for the right client, you can potentially have ongoing work for a long time. And since most people are just copywriting to earn money for another business, that can be really valuable for you.

While everyone else is busy constantly applying for $50 or $100 fixed gigs and earning $500 a month if they're lucky, you can hone in on that one single client who pays you $500 or $1000 or whatever on a monthly basis because you spent a F*ckton of time doing it right.

Then you can spend the rest of your time finding more THE ONEs and getting them to you.

Then you create an income and can grow as you please, or just fund whatever else you want to do.

Make sense?

Makes a lot of sense. Great advice Lex. Thank you.

One precise, accurate, premeditated shot with Sniper Rifle at 500 yds vs. Five sporadic and scattered shots with a Pistol at 500 yds.

I know what I would choose.

Time to make that one shot count.

EDIT: And thanks for the recommendation on Ca$hvertising. Looking forward to reading it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Brian C.]

Day 6 (Take Some Action that You've Been too Scared to Take)

Last night, I submitted my cover letters for two-long term job opportunities.

I'm familiar with both related industries, and the possibility of long-term work drew me in.

After reading through your threads @SinisterLex and watching your Youtube videos, I have a completely new mindset and strategy in regard to freelancing.

There are SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES. It's insane. Way more than I ever could have possibly imagined.

It's all about finding something that genuinely interests me - a job where I can add real value, preferably long-term.

For example, one of the jobs I applied for involved content writing for entrepreneurship and life strategy in addition to E-Mail copy. That's something I can get excited about - I love that shit.

I set my rate at $5 per hour, which I recall is where you started. It will be easy to over-deliver at that valuation given the opportunity.

Sometimes, I think about my competition and who is really out there. A bit unnerving at first, but when I realized my competition lacks a similar mentally - a mentality based on selflessness with the will to overcome knowledge barriers - that fear subsided.

It's bizarre. I thought freelancing was all about being a strong copywriter, but now I believe it's more mindset than anything.

At least it is for me in the beginning stage. If I end up writing copy for Coca-Cola, maybe that thought process will change.

 

[arfadugus]

I've read a bunch of your posts in this thread and you're very passionate about copywriting. Haven't found anyone else like it.

First things first: Not everyone can make the distinction that penguins = customers; pebbles = money; sea lion = other writers; maybe make the distinction a bit more concrete.

Second: Don't curse if you're not going to follow through with a certain facade. If you're being cute in your writing and you use curses for synonyms, it just looks like a kid is writing it. If you're acting tough and macho, it can be pulled off. There are a few other frames to act out, but cute is not one that works well for the majority of the population (think of the high-pitched Alvin and the chipmunks cursing).

Third: "Am I getting close?" I wouldn't use a question. They came here to look for a copywriter, they know what they're looking for and you KNOW you can give them exactly what they need.

Fourth: You add a lot of extra descriptors that don't make sense. Use as simple and as brief language as possible. "Communist Sea Lions" that doesn't make any sense. They're selling their services for money, they're most likely capitalist. "TORNADO blizzard," there aren't tornadoes in Antarctica. As well, there aren't sea lions. There are, however, seals and they eat penguins.

"Get it from the experts!- Experts say that getting an expert to back up your product is the way to go." Expert, expert, expert. Synonyms, find some. "Professionals, experienced copywriters, etc."

Also, play around with different dividers (your hyphens). The one's you're using aren't really that pleasing to the eye and they just look like bad sentences.

I also believe that you should think about wrapping up your hook (theme of penguins) and not let it bleed into your REAL copy. It catches the eye, but it can get cumbersome to read.

Like always, fix up the spelling and grammar. This is important, if your summary isn't 100% clean, you're gonna lose a lot of guys who think you can't pay attention to detail.

Just some thoughts. Happy hunting!

How's this?
"Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!"

You need to grab the attention of millions of fancy little penguins (your customers) to get sales NOW.

You want those furry little guys to bring you their nicest shiny black pebbles (money). They dragged their tails through an ice cold blizzard to find you these precious stones.

You want to prove your ultimate product's VALUE and get your little fancy customers to BUY.

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a ferocious seal (bad copywriter). They eat your penguins. You wouldn't want that. Your penguins really don't want that.

Those seals don't understand what your little penguins desire! I do. I will make them hungry so you can give them yummy fish (your product). And then THEY will give you their glimmering pebbles to thank you.

I'm a Ninja copywriter straight from the ANTARCTIC. It doesn't get more underground than that. Keep your penguins near by for life and thrive on a constant stream of precious stones!

WHAT DO YOU GET?

You won't find these skills anywhere else. (Unless approved by yours truly)
Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY:

Visual persuasion: take your readers on a journey down a yellow brick road leading straight to your castle.

Access customer central and peripheral route thinking processes: Statistics for bigger purchases and examples for smaller ones.

Customers will like you: Make them like you, get more sales. Easy peazy!

Get it from the experts: Professional copywriters say that getting an authority to back up your product is the way to go.

Compare and blow competition out of the water: Why not say what your competitor does good? Then tell your customer why you are even better!

Take advantage of customer commitment laws: People like to be consistent, lets take advantage of that.

Repetition Repetition Repetition- Ingrain your product into your customer's heads.

Keep them reading with rhetorical questions: Do you think that is a good idea?

Offer length for strength: Get buyers to cough up their hard earned bills.

Testimonials: For social proof.

SIMPLIFY

Customers want benefits: Tell them what's in it for them!

Scarcity: For those who want what they can't have! (Btw my time is limited to contact me before your competition does.)

"PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS"

Avoid common copy errors: Don't do this.

Specificity: Make them visualize using your product.

Use the right fonts!

Am I asking the right questions?

OPTIMAL picture recommendations

Long copy is PROVEN: I won't be lazy

Online response wizard
_________________________________________________________________________________

Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require.

Contact me now!

 

[GuestUser155]

Fair warning: I've got the flu. Whatever nuance is present in your copy will likely be lost on me.

This is going to get real nitpicky and no holds will be barred --

How's this?
"Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!"

It's plain and to the point, but it's redundant. I'm hiring a copywriter exactly because I want my customers to buy, what makes you different? This title doesn't catch the eye.

My personal belief is that titles are the thesis of your copy. You've got that down.

Here's a checklist I just discovered from Made to Stick (a must read):
Is it simple?
Is it unexpected?
Is it concrete (can your reader picture it in their head effortlessly)?
Is it credible? (it's difficult to isolate this in a title, so you may skip this if you wish)
Is it eliciting emotion?
Is it telling a story? (can be left out in titles)

Now add a few more elements to really catch the eye. "Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!" sounds like UpWork is advertising its new copywriter category.

You need to grab the attention of millions of fancy little penguins (your customers) to get sales NOW.

Ok, you're going in the right direction. Maybe make need stick out more.

Get rid of fancy, how the hell are penguins fancy? It's a cutesy word and it doesn't help in the slightest to paint a picture in my head. Are you making the mental leaps that: penguins look like they're wearing tuxedos, tuxedos are fancy, thus penguins are fancy?

I like the parenthesis explanation. Inelegant, but it works.

Also, why do I need to grab their attention? I, as a client, understand what it means, but it doesn't elicit an emotion in me.

"Yes, I know I have to." But again, it's redundant. Unless you're trying to elicit an emotion from me: Fear of missing out, fear of falling behind, fear of losing to competitors, etc.

You want those furry little guys to bring you their nicest shiny black pebbles (money). They dragged their tails through an ice cold blizzard to find you these precious stones.

I like furry. I don't like "nicest shiny." Find one descriptor. Shiniest is fine.

Why did their work their assess of to give me their money?

You want to prove your ultimate product's VALUE and get your little fancy customers to BUY.

Get rid of "little fancy," you're still sounding like a little kid.

Get rid of ultimate, it has no meaning in this context.

Tell me why I want to prove anything. Don't tell me I have to do shit if you're not giving my self-entitled a$$ a reason.

Yead, I know I want my customers to buy, but remind me why.

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a ferocious seal (bad copywriter). They eat your penguins. You wouldn't want that. Your penguins really don't want that.

Ferocious is not the word you want to describe your competition with. Find something that undermines them.

My competition is going to eat customers? What?

This extended metaphor is becoming too unwieldy. Cut it down or add the client in there somehow.

An example: The client is a penguin researcher and he needs someone to get penguins to his research center. You're a master penguin baiter, you'll be able to attract them so he can tag them and they can come back for more. Unlike your competition, that DOES bring penguins back, but they're dead and the other penguins start to take notice and avoid the area at all costs (because of bad copy). No repeat customers.

This metaphor is ridiculous, change it up. If you spent a lot of time working on it, it's time to let go.

Those seals don't understand what your little penguins desire! I do. I will make them hungry so you can give them yummy fish (your product). And then THEY will give you their glimmering pebbles to thank you.

Now, this part of your spiel works well. You know what the customers want and you can push them to buy.

I'm a Ninja copywriter straight from the ANTARCTIC. It doesn't get more underground than that. Keep your penguins near by for life and thrive on a constant stream of precious stones!

Ninja in this context makes no sense. I know you're trying to flaunt your mastery, but find a more relevant title. Eskimo Masterclass would make more sense (even though they're not in the antarctic). Don't use that title, find one that works better (don't use eskimo masterclass either it was a joke).

I don't believe I need an underground copywriter. I need one with a proven track record that can get shit done and get it done well. I don't need an amateur.

Second sentence is good. Maybe change it around to "Keep your penguins around for life."

WHAT DO YOU GET?

You won't find these skills anywhere else. (Unless approved by yours truly)
Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY:

Don't need the parenthesis, your audience can likely read through the lines and understand that you're the one providing all of these skills.

Perhaps move the "you won't find these skills anywhere else" near the bottom. Two lines can get cumbersome.

As for the points, try and keep the descriptors before the colon brief. If they're all over the place in length it just becomes harder to read.

This is part 1, because I have to go and I feel like I've been rambling on.

If someone more experienced than me can point out if any of this is in the right direction (or if I completely missed the ballpark) that would be fantastic.

Again, I have the flu and I don't know how well I can judge your copy. If any of this doesn't make any sense feel free to disregard it.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[arfadugus]

Fair warning: I've got the flu. Whatever nuance is present in your copy will likely be lost on me.

This is going to get real nitpicky and no holds will be barred --



It's plain and to the point, but it's redundant. I'm hiring a copywriter exactly because I want my customers to buy, what makes you different? This title doesn't catch the eye.

My personal belief is that titles are the thesis of your copy. You've got that down.

Here's a checklist I just discovered from Made to Stick (a must read):
Is it simple?
Is it unexpected?
Is it concrete (can your reader picture it in their head effortlessly)?
Is it credible? (it's difficult to isolate this in a title, so you may skip this if you wish)
Is it eliciting emotion?
Is it telling a story? (can be left out in titles)

Now add a few more elements to really catch the eye. "Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!" sounds like UpWork is advertising its new copywriter category.



Ok, you're going in the right direction. Maybe make need stick out more.

Get rid of fancy, how the hell are penguins fancy? It's a cutesy word and it doesn't help in the slightest to paint a picture in my head. Are you making the mental leaps that: penguins look like they're wearing tuxedos, tuxedos are fancy, thus penguins are fancy?

I like the parenthesis explanation. Inelegant, but it works.

Also, why do I need to grab their attention? I, as a client, understand what it means, but it doesn't elicit an emotion in me.

"Yes, I know I have to." But again, it's redundant. Unless you're trying to elicit an emotion from me: Fear of missing out, fear of falling behind, fear of losing to competitors, etc.



I like furry. I don't like "nicest shiny." Find one descriptor. Shiniest is fine.

Why did their work their assess of to give me their money?



Get rid of "little fancy," you're still sounding like a little kid.

Get rid of ultimate, it has no meaning in this context.

Tell me why I want to prove anything. Don't tell me I have to do shit if you're not giving my self-entitled a$$ a reason.

Yead, I know I want my customers to buy, but remind me why.



Ferocious is not the word you want to describe your competition with. Find something that undermines them.

My competition is going to eat customers? What?

This extended metaphor is becoming too unwieldy. Cut it down or add the client in there somehow.

An example: The client is a penguin researcher and he needs someone to get penguins to his research center. You're a master penguin baiter, you'll be able to attract them so he can tag them and they can come back for more. Unlike your competition, that DOES bring penguins back, but they're dead and the other penguins start to take notice and avoid the area at all costs (because of bad copy). No repeat customers.

This metaphor is ridiculous, change it up. If you spent a lot of time working on it, it's time to let go.



Now, this part of your spiel works well. You know what the customers want and you can push them to buy.



Ninja in this context makes no sense. I know you're trying to flaunt your mastery, but find a more relevant title. Eskimo Masterclass would make more sense (even though they're not in the antarctic). Don't use that title, find one that works better (don't use eskimo masterclass either it was a joke).

I don't believe I need an underground copywriter. I need one with a proven track record that can get shit done and get it done well. I don't need an amateur.

Second sentence is good. Maybe change it around to "Keep your penguins around for life."



Don't need the parenthesis, your audience can likely read through the lines and understand that you're the one providing all of these skills.

Perhaps move the "you won't find these skills anywhere else" near the bottom. Two lines can get cumbersome.

As for the points, try and keep the descriptors before the colon brief. If they're all over the place in length it just becomes harder to read.

This is part 1, because I have to go and I feel like I've been rambling on.

If someone more experienced than me can point out if any of this is in the right direction (or if I completely missed the ballpark) that would be fantastic.

Again, I have the flu and I don't know how well I can judge your copy. If any of this doesn't make any sense feel free to disregard it.

Seems like a good analysis. What is your experience? This is harder than I thought No worries. Gotta keep improving a little bit at a time.

 

[Rethagos]

Day 2 | Technique Lesson 1
Make Them STOP!

View attachment 9416​

Stop signs share an important message worth exploring. When we see a stop sign, we know what to do. We stop. But why? What specifically makes us stop?

Forget the fact that we've been trained for more than a century to stop at red, octagon-shaped signs. Instead, let's consider the deeper message. Let's think about what the word S.T.O.P. actually does.

The word STOP triggers something in our mind. That something is fear. On a deeper level, it's our survival instinct. STOP taps into our desire to live. If we blow through a STOP sign then we're at much greater risk of death by car accident, and that's something we want to avoid.

STOP also triggers very powerful emotions. When we see a stop sign, we instantly process the following:

If I don't stop it could get my whole family killed.

If I don't stop I could be responsible for the death of someone else.

If I don't stop I could wreck my car, and lose (insert any number of things here).
​

Now let's look at how this message applies to copywriting, and how we can use it. STOP is a short, 4 letter Headline in all CAPITAL LETTERS, almost always printed in bold. It taps into our basic desire to live, and the emotions surrounding the negative impact of our actions if we ignore it, and it almost always gets our attention.

STOP signs exist for 1 reason - to make us STOP! When we stop we can think. When we think we can observe. When we observe, we take in more info that helps us decide if it's safe to proceed, and this is exactly what your headline must accomplish!

The first goal of your headline is to make them STOP!

If a prospect doesn't stop, they won't think, and they won't proceed through your text. That means they won't buy anything either. So the first technique of copy that sells is a headline that makes them STOP!

How do I make them stop?

This is where desire & emotion come into play. Now, some books will tell you that you have to tap into desire, and others say you only need emotion. Both can work alone, but they work way better together.

But before they can work at all, you have to tap into the right desire & emotion.
​

To do that you MUST change your perspective. You have to think in terms of them, not you. By shifting your perspective you can ask questions that gain clarity about what your prospects really want, instead of assuming you know what they want.

Let's look at how two popular books accomplish this.

"The Automatic Millionaire" & "The Millionaire Fastlane "

Two very different books that are both top-sellers. One sells the idea of saving coffee change, while the other sells the idea of starting a business. So, why don't either of these books mention anything about saving money, or starting businesses in their headline?

Because the reader doesn't desire those things, and doesn't connect emotionally either!

Instead they had to get inside their reader's mind and ask the right questions.

Who am I? (Target Market)
Young, 18 to 30 year olds, primarily male.

What do I want? (Desire)
Fast money, fast cars, to not have to work for money or riches. Freedom from jobs.

Why do I want it? (Emotion)
Money, & super cars will make me powerful & seductive.

What if TMF used this headline instead:

Get Rich by Starting a Business and Failing a Lot.

Would you have stopped? Would you have opened the book? Would you have read the first line? Would you have still dedicated your entire life to making this shit work no matter what? Would you even be here right now?!

Probably not, because the headline doesn't speak to you personally. It doesn't tap into your desires or emotions. It doesn't give you a reason to care.

A lot of psychology goes into your headline, but you don't have to spend 10 years learning about it to be effective. All you have to do is ask questions from the prospect's perspective and figure out what they really want. Then find a way to write it in your headline.

Now that you know that your headline's ultimate goal is to make them STOP by tapping into desire & emotion, let's check out some ways you can enhance your headlines.

1. If it's 3 words or less, use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
----- "INSTANT CASH LOANS"

2. If it's more than 3 words, Only Capitalize the First Letter of Each Word, Following Basic Grammar Rules.
----- "Big Johnson's Beer & Liquor if We Don't Have It, We'll Get It!"

3. If you can tap into desire / emotion & be creative, then your headline will have more power.
----- "Unleashing the SUPER Ideavirus - Ideas that Spread, Win"

4. Length is based on the headline's goal. If you need it processed fast, then use less words.
----- "How to Win Friends & Influence People"

5. Get rid of extra words. Every word must have a purpose.
----- "Here's How You Can Switch Gears, Downshift, & Drive Into the Millionaire Fastlane .
vs. "The Millionaire Fastlane " - Way less words. Way more impact.

6. If you can add subtle influence to your headline, such as a CTA, you'll add power.
----- "NOW! Get a FREE Animal Tail Butt Plug with Every Vibrating Prostate Massager!"

^
(Now, that's a deal you can't pass up!)
​

You don't have to be a copywriter to get good at writing headlines. All you need is practice. Take your time, and give every product, website, or cover letter serious thought. It may take you 2 hours to come up with something, but when you get it right it works pretty much every time.

Remember, Your #1 Goal is to MAKE THEM STOP!​

Day 2 Challenge​

1. Help someone. Do it without asking for anything in return. Just like yesterday.

2. Come up with 5 to 10 products / services / or something else you want to sell. Give serious consideration to the questions above. Figure out the customer's deepest desire. Figure out the emotions they want to experience. Then write 5 to 10 headlines utilizing what you've learned, that MAKE THEM STOP!

If you're feeling brave you can post your headlines in this thread for others to critique. But no pressure.

Now that you know the first & most
important element of all copy
you can move on to Day
3 - Influence Lesson
1​

Day 2 CHALLENGE – 5 to 10 products/services/whatever to sell + 5 headlines to make the buyers STOP

So, here’s my selection of 5 things to sell. I will break down those in terms of short description, target market, main benefit, perceived result (desire), targeted emotions.

Note: I am not going to write headlines/paragraphs/any of that sort about ANY product I didn’t break down in this fashion. And the maximum pace I’m going to introduce new product ideas is 1 per 3 days. Reason: focus. It’s better to make 5 products sell really well than 30 products not so well. Trial and error is the way here.


Product #1. Bluetooth Headphone Earbuds & Sleep mask combo – BlindEars™ (rough name idea)


For whom? Mostly creative/intellectual workers, or anyone that has hard time sleeping due to outside stimuli

What does it provide? Comfortable rest even in the noisiest of neighborhoods

Why would he buy it? To forget about restless nights and stay on top of his game.

Emotions: control, comfort


Product #2. The Emergency Cookbook (a fictional book (for now) about low-budget meals)


For whom? Students, people in-between jobs, recently fired or on financial downswing

What does it provide? Monthly sustenance for pocket change

Why would he buy it? To get by at the lowest of budgets without the humiliation of digging in garbage cans for food

Emotions: resourcefulness, assurance


Product #3. Laptop assigning service (you could in some universe make money through it via affiliating with stores selling those)


For whom? Indecisive, not tech-savvy laptop buyers

What does it provide? A choice of laptops according to one’s needs, budget, lifestyle

Why would he use it? To not throw money in the trash can and ensure the best choice within minutes

Emotions: clarity, satisfaction


Product #4. Search engine for free online lectures

For whom? Students, ambitious people who happen to have no money or no trust in $50k seminars

What does it provide? Knowledge at fingertips

Why would he use it? To save boatloads of time perusing the web, going to college, and maybe even save money on courses

Emotions: resourcefulness, focus, efficiency


Product #5. Rooftop insulation protection from pests and small animals


For whom? Specific market – people living in rural/green areas, with their houses’ roofs insulated with wool. Those can be susceptible

What does it provide? Effective protection of roof insulation lasting for years

Why would they buy it? To save thousands on roof reparation

Emotion: property-related protective instinct (for a lack of better words)


Now it's time for...

Headlines.

#1. Screw Your Noisy Neighbors – BlindEars™

#2. The Emergency Cookbook – When Your Income is Cut in Half

#3. Find Your Perfect Laptop in MINUTES

#4. Get Smart, Get Efficient, Get Ahead - For FREE

#5. Your Roof Insulation Needs Safety Too!

 

[Snoophek]

Damn you @SinisterLex , you motherfucking wizard.

4. Figure out what the 1 action is that you've been putting off and do it. If you're trying to get freelance gigs and are afraid you don't have experience, submit your cover letter and see what happens. If you're thinking of cold calling local shops to pitch websites, then do it, and get real results. Whatever 1 thing you've been putting off due to fear, or lack of motivation, or whatever else, just F*cking do it.

As soon as I read that, I knew what had to be done. And I didn't want to do it so badly...
I started to come up with reasons why I can't, why not now, why I'd better do it tomorrow.

You see, since I remember, I've had a driving phobia. I'm not kidding you. When I was little my mum hit a pillar on the road. And my seat belt was not fastened. Spitting blood into the sink is one of my earliest memories.
I passed my driver license test after 4 tries - it was so stressful for me, that I had random nosebleeds during that period of time. Later I put my license into the drawer, never to be used again. Well, apart from driving to the gym, which is 2km away from my house.

I knew what had to be done. I literally started shaking and after a few minutes had to take a huge shit...
I repeated your words religiously.

Fear can not stop you from taking action.
Fear can not stop you from taking action.
FEAR CAN NOT STOP YOU FROM TAKING ACTION IF YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE ACTION.

Still shaking, I hopped into the car and drove to the University. Just like that, 30-minute ride.

And you know what? I was just fine.

Neither did I get killed, nor did I kill somebody.

My biggest fear was dealt with in a whim.

Because I took action.

PS. You can laugh, but it was seriously a HUGE deal for me. Is the fear completely gone? Of course not. It's far from it. But now I know I can beat it.
PSS. I also messaged a girl I liked, we got a coffee and it went from there. 3 years no relationship. Took me 1 F*cking day to change that. But it's really nothing compared to the car issue...
PSSS. YOU'RE A F*ckING WIZARD LEX

Thank you so much, you change lives man.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SuperDuper]

I'm new to this, any feedback welcomed.

Day 2 Challenge

Stop Living Frugally and Start Living Your Dreams!
-Business Course

Increase Your Brain Power by 1000% !
-Brain Supplement

Become Fearless and Unlock Your Limitless Potential !
-Confidence Seminar

Learn the Secrets to Pick Up 10s!
-Pick Up Artist Seminar

Shortcut Your Way to a Lean, Sexy, and Fit Body That Make Heads Turn!
-Weight Loss Program

 

[arfadugus]

Fair warning: I've got the flu. Whatever nuance is present in your copy will likely be lost on me.

This is going to get real nitpicky and no holds will be barred --



It's plain and to the point, but it's redundant. I'm hiring a copywriter exactly because I want my customers to buy, what makes you different? This title doesn't catch the eye.

My personal belief is that titles are the thesis of your copy. You've got that down.

Here's a checklist I just discovered from Made to Stick (a must read):
Is it simple?
Is it unexpected?
Is it concrete (can your reader picture it in their head effortlessly)?
Is it credible? (it's difficult to isolate this in a title, so you may skip this if you wish)
Is it eliciting emotion?
Is it telling a story? (can be left out in titles)

Now add a few more elements to really catch the eye. "Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!" sounds like UpWork is advertising its new copywriter category.



Ok, you're going in the right direction. Maybe make need stick out more.

Get rid of fancy, how the hell are penguins fancy? It's a cutesy word and it doesn't help in the slightest to paint a picture in my head. Are you making the mental leaps that: penguins look like they're wearing tuxedos, tuxedos are fancy, thus penguins are fancy?

I like the parenthesis explanation. Inelegant, but it works.

Also, why do I need to grab their attention? I, as a client, understand what it means, but it doesn't elicit an emotion in me.

"Yes, I know I have to." But again, it's redundant. Unless you're trying to elicit an emotion from me: Fear of missing out, fear of falling behind, fear of losing to competitors, etc.



I like furry. I don't like "nicest shiny." Find one descriptor. Shiniest is fine.

Why did their work their assess of to give me their money?



Get rid of "little fancy," you're still sounding like a little kid.

Get rid of ultimate, it has no meaning in this context.

Tell me why I want to prove anything. Don't tell me I have to do shit if you're not giving my self-entitled a$$ a reason.

Yead, I know I want my customers to buy, but remind me why.



Ferocious is not the word you want to describe your competition with. Find something that undermines them.

My competition is going to eat customers? What?

This extended metaphor is becoming too unwieldy. Cut it down or add the client in there somehow.

An example: The client is a penguin researcher and he needs someone to get penguins to his research center. You're a master penguin baiter, you'll be able to attract them so he can tag them and they can come back for more. Unlike your competition, that DOES bring penguins back, but they're dead and the other penguins start to take notice and avoid the area at all costs (because of bad copy). No repeat customers.

This metaphor is ridiculous, change it up. If you spent a lot of time working on it, it's time to let go.



Now, this part of your spiel works well. You know what the customers want and you can push them to buy.



Ninja in this context makes no sense. I know you're trying to flaunt your mastery, but find a more relevant title. Eskimo Masterclass would make more sense (even though they're not in the antarctic). Don't use that title, find one that works better (don't use eskimo masterclass either it was a joke).

I don't believe I need an underground copywriter. I need one with a proven track record that can get shit done and get it done well. I don't need an amateur.

Second sentence is good. Maybe change it around to "Keep your penguins around for life."



Don't need the parenthesis, your audience can likely read through the lines and understand that you're the one providing all of these skills.

Perhaps move the "you won't find these skills anywhere else" near the bottom. Two lines can get cumbersome.

As for the points, try and keep the descriptors before the colon brief. If they're all over the place in length it just becomes harder to read.

This is part 1, because I have to go and I feel like I've been rambling on.

If someone more experienced than me can point out if any of this is in the right direction (or if I completely missed the ballpark) that would be fantastic.

Again, I have the flu and I don't know how well I can judge your copy. If any of this doesn't make any sense feel free to disregard it.

I think I'm just going to ditch the penguin thing lol

 

[arfadugus]

Fair warning: I've got the flu. Whatever nuance is present in your copy will likely be lost on me.

This is going to get real nitpicky and no holds will be barred --



It's plain and to the point, but it's redundant. I'm hiring a copywriter exactly because I want my customers to buy, what makes you different? This title doesn't catch the eye.

My personal belief is that titles are the thesis of your copy. You've got that down.

Here's a checklist I just discovered from Made to Stick (a must read):
Is it simple?
Is it unexpected?
Is it concrete (can your reader picture it in their head effortlessly)?
Is it credible? (it's difficult to isolate this in a title, so you may skip this if you wish)
Is it eliciting emotion?
Is it telling a story? (can be left out in titles)

Now add a few more elements to really catch the eye. "Hire a Copywriter That Gets Your Customers Buying!" sounds like UpWork is advertising its new copywriter category.



Ok, you're going in the right direction. Maybe make need stick out more.

Get rid of fancy, how the hell are penguins fancy? It's a cutesy word and it doesn't help in the slightest to paint a picture in my head. Are you making the mental leaps that: penguins look like they're wearing tuxedos, tuxedos are fancy, thus penguins are fancy?

I like the parenthesis explanation. Inelegant, but it works.

Also, why do I need to grab their attention? I, as a client, understand what it means, but it doesn't elicit an emotion in me.

"Yes, I know I have to." But again, it's redundant. Unless you're trying to elicit an emotion from me: Fear of missing out, fear of falling behind, fear of losing to competitors, etc.



I like furry. I don't like "nicest shiny." Find one descriptor. Shiniest is fine.

Why did their work their assess of to give me their money?



Get rid of "little fancy," you're still sounding like a little kid.

Get rid of ultimate, it has no meaning in this context.

Tell me why I want to prove anything. Don't tell me I have to do shit if you're not giving my self-entitled a$$ a reason.

Yead, I know I want my customers to buy, but remind me why.



Ferocious is not the word you want to describe your competition with. Find something that undermines them.

My competition is going to eat customers? What?

This extended metaphor is becoming too unwieldy. Cut it down or add the client in there somehow.

An example: The client is a penguin researcher and he needs someone to get penguins to his research center. You're a master penguin baiter, you'll be able to attract them so he can tag them and they can come back for more. Unlike your competition, that DOES bring penguins back, but they're dead and the other penguins start to take notice and avoid the area at all costs (because of bad copy). No repeat customers.

This metaphor is ridiculous, change it up. If you spent a lot of time working on it, it's time to let go.



Now, this part of your spiel works well. You know what the customers want and you can push them to buy.



Ninja in this context makes no sense. I know you're trying to flaunt your mastery, but find a more relevant title. Eskimo Masterclass would make more sense (even though they're not in the antarctic). Don't use that title, find one that works better (don't use eskimo masterclass either it was a joke).

I don't believe I need an underground copywriter. I need one with a proven track record that can get shit done and get it done well. I don't need an amateur.

Second sentence is good. Maybe change it around to "Keep your penguins around for life."



Don't need the parenthesis, your audience can likely read through the lines and understand that you're the one providing all of these skills.

Perhaps move the "you won't find these skills anywhere else" near the bottom. Two lines can get cumbersome.

As for the points, try and keep the descriptors before the colon brief. If they're all over the place in length it just becomes harder to read.

This is part 1, because I have to go and I feel like I've been rambling on.

If someone more experienced than me can point out if any of this is in the right direction (or if I completely missed the ballpark) that would be fantastic.

Again, I have the flu and I don't know how well I can judge your copy. If any of this doesn't make any sense feel free to disregard it.

Ok here's my 3rd or fourth attempt to please you! lol Kinda just cut out the fluff.

"Let's Get Your Cash Flowing "

You need to grab the attention of your customers to get sales NOW.

You want them to bring you their money. They worked hard for it,

You want to prove your product's VALUE and get your customers to BUY.

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a bad copywriter. They could destroy your reputation. Not to mention you'd be throwing away money.

They don't understand what your customers desire! I do. I will make them realize that they crave your product. And then THEY will give you their money to thank you.

I'm a copywriter that understands basic advertising principles. Keep your customers near by for life and thrive on a constant stream of income! You won't find these skills anywhere else.

WHAT DO YOU GET?

Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY:

Visual persuasion: Take your readers on a journey down a yellow brick road leading straight to your castle.

Access customer central and peripheral route thinking processes: Statistics for bigger purchases and examples for smaller ones.

Customers will like you: Make them like you, get more sales. Easy peazy!

Get it from the experts: Professional copywriters say that getting an authority to back up your product is the way to go.

Compare and blow competition out of the water: Why not say what your competitor does good? Then tell your customer why you are even better!

Take advantage of customer commitment laws: People like to be consistent, lets take advantage of that.

Repetition Repetition Repetition- Ingrain your product into your customer's heads.

Keep them reading with rhetorical questions: Do you think that is a good idea?

Offer length for strength: Get buyers to cough up their hard earned bills.

Testimonials: For social proof.

SIMPLIFY

Customers want benefits: Tell them what's in it for them!

Scarcity: For those who want what they can't have! (Btw my time is limited to contact me before your competition does.)

"PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS"

Avoid common copy errors: Don't do this.

Specificity: Make them visualize using your product.

Use the right fonts!

Am I asking the right questions?

OPTIMAL picture recommendations

Long copy is PROVEN: I won't be lazy

Online response wizard
_________________________________________________________________________________

Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require.

Contact me now!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[GuestUser155]

My brains back to normal size -- and I like the copy.

Not perfect, but I like it a lot.

Ok here's my 3rd or fourth attempt to please you! lol Kinda just cut out the fluff.

"Let's Get Your Cash Flowing "

You need to grab the attention of your customers to get sales NOW.

You want them to bring you their money. They worked hard for it,

You want to prove your product's VALUE and get your customers to BUY.

Title pops out well.

Money and cash are dirty words. It's a little thing, but think about who your market really is.

Are they more composed of people trying get money from their customers or are they looking for something else? (Pro-tip: Revenue is a cleaner version of cash)

It might also relay that you're only in it for the money and not for the craft -- by association of the words you use. I'm not saying you need to change it, just keep it in mind.

Change the wants to needs to create urgency.

Is the comma after "it" purposeful? If so, I don't see why.

Don't make the serious mistake of hiring a bad copywriter. They could destroy your reputation. Not to mention you'd be throwing away money.

They don't understand what your customers desire! I do. I will make them realize that they crave your product. And then THEY will give you their money to thank you.

I'm a copywriter that understands basic advertising principles. Keep your customers near by for life and thrive on a constant stream of income! You won't find these skills anywhere else.

These are good.

Enunciate the dichotomy, in the first line, between you and other copywriters, like you did in the second one. Ex. They don't ... I do.

Can't see a reason for "they" being emphasized.

Theys and them get confusing too. Might want to isolate the "they"s into just "other copywriters" to make a you vs. them.

Ex. Other copywriters don't understand what your customers desire. I do! I will make them realize that they crave your product."

Maybe: "And then they will thank you with their money."

Exaggerate up your skill -- no one hires guys with just the "basics." Advanced is a better word.

"near by for life" - not a common English phrase. Try: "I'll keep your customers coming back for life so you can thrive on a constant stream of income!"

WHAT DO YOU GET?

Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY:

Visual persuasion: Take your readers on a journey down a yellow brick road leading straight to your castle.

Access customer central and peripheral route thinking processes: Statistics for bigger purchases and examples for smaller ones.

Customers will like you: Make them like you, get more sales. Easy peazy!

Get it from the experts: Professional copywriters say that getting an authority to back up your product is the way to go.

Compare and blow competition out of the water: Why not say what your competitor does good? Then tell your customer why you are even better!

Take advantage of customer commitment laws: People like to be consistent, lets take advantage of that.

Repetition Repetition Repetition- Ingrain your product into your customer's heads.

Keep them reading with rhetorical questions: Do you think that is a good idea?

Offer length for strength: Get buyers to cough up their hard earned bills.

Testimonials: For social proof.

At this point you can start using big words in the first part of your sentences (before the colon) and then break it down into something a child could understand (after the colon). This is one of the times buzzwords are acceptable.

"WHAT DO YOU GET" and "Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY" are basically the same thing, just reiterated. Think about which one works better and ditch the other one (or even create a whole nother one).

Think about switching up the "visual persuasion" description. Currently, it's a bit convoluted.

"Access customer central and peripheral route thinking processes" - Too long.

"Customers will like you" - Not a "proven tactic." However, "Leverage Reciprocity Principles" and "Capture Customer Appreciation" are.

Remove easy peazy. "Simple" would be better.

"Get it from the experts: Professional copywriters" - Can't do that, champ. You just burned the copywriter bridge earlier in this. Perhaps: "Professional Credibility" and then work from there.

"Compare and blow competition out of the water" - Too long. Also, try to keep descriptions to one sentence.

"Take advantage of customer commitment laws" - Too long.

"Repetition, Repetition, Repetition:" - Fixed*

"Keep them reading with rhetorical questions:" - The first four words belong on the other side of the colon. I.e, they're describing and not a title.

"Offer Length for Strength" - Remove offer. Remember that these are the main subjects and should be kept as brief as possible.

Keep in mind that what you're doing is a pseudo bullet-point list. That means no punctuation.

SIMPLIFY

Customers want benefits: Tell them what's in it for them!

Scarcity: For those who want what they can't have! (Btw my time is limited to contact me before your competition does.)

"PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS"

Avoid common copy errors: Don't do this.

Specificity: Make them visualize using your product.

Use the right fonts!

Am I asking the right questions?

OPTIMAL picture recommendations

Long copy is PROVEN: I won't be lazy

Online response wizard
_________________________________________________________________________________

Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require.

Contact me now!

"SIMPLIFY" - I get what you're doing. If you're adamant on going this route it'd be better if you made everything above technical jargon and everything below super super simple (and understandable).

Think about using another emphasation technique than just all caps. It can get confusing with the "WHAT DO YOU GET?"

"Scarcity: ... (Btw my time is limited...)" - I like what you're going for. Don't use SMS language, but keep it casual with a lot of contractions (you'll, you're, etc). Try to make it flow a bit better too.

"PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS" - Think about what I said about emphasation.

"Avoid common copy errors: Don't do this." - This is a given, it's your job.

"Specificity: Make them visualize using your product." - Grammar is a bit lacking. But, you want to change the descriptions into something like "I'll make them visualize." It better conveys that you're the one giving them value.

"Use the right fonts!" - Too simple. They'll think you just started.

"Am I asking the right questions?" - "I don't know. You've only asked two and I've forgotten them already."

"OPTIMAL picture recommendations" - You could bundle this with "fonts" and some other digital techniques into a new list.

"Long copy is PROVEN:" - Yeah, as long as you can hook them in.

"I won't be lazy" - This shouldn't be stated unless your contrasting your services to others, with specific examples.

"Online Response Wizard" - Have no idea what this is. Explain or scratch it.

"Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require." - Too convoluted, especially that last part.

"Contact me now!" - Think about changing the wording into more actionable terms in your favour. As in, "Book me now!"

Just a few things I've found. But, don't spend all of your time perfecting your description. As long as it's good, you can start getting hired.

 

[arfadugus]

My brains back to normal size -- and I like the copy.

Not perfect, but I like it a lot.



Title pops out well.

Money and cash are dirty words. It's a little thing, but think about who your market really is.

Are they more composed of people trying get money from their customers or are they looking for something else? (Pro-tip: Revenue is a cleaner version of cash)

It might also relay that you're only in it for the money and not for the craft -- by association of the words you use. I'm not saying you need to change it, just keep it in mind.

Change the wants to needs to create urgency.

Is the comma after "it" purposeful? If so, I don't see why.



These are good.

Enunciate the dichotomy, in the first line, between you and other copywriters, like you did in the second one. Ex. They don't ... I do.

Can't see a reason for "they" being emphasized.

Theys and them get confusing too. Might want to isolate the "they"s into just "other copywriters" to make a you vs. them.

Ex. Other copywriters don't understand what your customers desire. I do! I will make them realize that they crave your product."

Maybe: "And then they will thank you with their money."

Exaggerate up your skill -- no one hires guys with just the "basics." Advanced is a better word.

"near by for life" - not a common English phrase. Try: "I'll keep your customers coming back for life so you can thrive on a constant stream of income!"



At this point you can start using big words in the first part of your sentences (before the colon) and then break it down into something a child could understand (after the colon). This is one of the times buzzwords are acceptable.

"WHAT DO YOU GET" and "Here are proven tactics to get your customers to BUY" are basically the same thing, just reiterated. Think about which one works better and ditch the other one (or even create a whole nother one).

Think about switching up the "visual persuasion" description. Currently, it's a bit convoluted.

"Access customer central and peripheral route thinking processes" - Too long.

"Customers will like you" - Not a "proven tactic." However, "Leverage Reciprocity Principles" and "Capture Customer Appreciation" are.

Remove easy peazy. "Simple" would be better.

"Get it from the experts: Professional copywriters" - Can't do that, champ. You just burned the copywriter bridge earlier in this. Perhaps: "Professional Credibility" and then work from there.

"Compare and blow competition out of the water" - Too long. Also, try to keep descriptions to one sentence.

"Take advantage of customer commitment laws" - Too long.

"Repetition, Repetition, Repetition:" - Fixed*

"Keep them reading with rhetorical questions:" - The first four words belong on the other side of the colon. I.e, they're describing and not a title.

"Offer Length for Strength" - Remove offer. Remember that these are the main subjects and should be kept as brief as possible.

Keep in mind that what you're doing is a pseudo bullet-point list. That means no punctuation.



"SIMPLIFY" - I get what you're doing. If you're adamant on going this route it'd be better if you made everything above technical jargon and everything below super super simple (and understandable).

Think about using another emphasation technique than just all caps. It can get confusing with the "WHAT DO YOU GET?"

"Scarcity: ... (Btw my time is limited...)" - I like what you're going for. Don't use SMS language, but keep it casual with a lot of contractions (you'll, you're, etc). Try to make it flow a bit better too.

"PROVEN HEADLINE GRABBERS" - Think about what I said about emphasation.

"Avoid common copy errors: Don't do this." - This is a given, it's your job.

"Specificity: Make them visualize using your product." - Grammar is a bit lacking. But, you want to change the descriptions into something like "I'll make them visualize." It better conveys that you're the one giving them value.

"Use the right fonts!" - Too simple. They'll think you just started.

"Am I asking the right questions?" - "I don't know. You've only asked two and I've forgotten them already."

"OPTIMAL picture recommendations" - You could bundle this with "fonts" and some other digital techniques into a new list.

"Long copy is PROVEN:" - Yeah, as long as you can hook them in.

"I won't be lazy" - This shouldn't be stated unless your contrasting your services to others, with specific examples.

"Online Response Wizard" - Have no idea what this is. Explain or scratch it.

"Get the job done right, get it done fast, and most importantly, get the fat stacks of cold hard ca$h that you do so require." - Too convoluted, especially that last part.

"Contact me now!" - Think about changing the wording into more actionable terms in your favour. As in, "Book me now!"

Just a few things I've found. But, don't spend all of your time perfecting your description. As long as it's good, you can start getting hired.

Lol I guess I'll go with one more revision. I'm just sick of taking stupid Upwork tests and failing haha What is your experience with writing? You seem pretty knowledgeable. I appreciate you putting so much time into helping me. Thank you!

 

[GuestUser155]

Lol I guess I'll go with one more revision. I'm just sick of taking stupid Upwork tests and failing haha What is your experience with writing? You seem pretty knowledgeable. I appreciate you putting so much time into helping me. Thank you!

Been writing for a few years doing odd jobs here and there.

Upwork is terrible tbh. When you can, get out.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[arfadugus]

Been writing for a few years doing odd jobs here and there.

Upwork is terrible tbh. When you can, get out.

Yea I've read that a bunch of times in the forums ha That's the plan! Still need a few jobs on upwork though to get some refferals

 

[Rethagos]

Day 3 | Influence Lesson 1
The Butterfly Effect
We can never truly know the real impact of our words.​

“Influence is inevitable.” – Unknown​

Some of you may think this quote ridiculous. Maybe you read it and say, “Inevitable? No way. I read Robert Cialdini’s book, and there’s no way I can be influenced now.”

But you are wrong.

Influence happens constantly. Consistently. All around us, all the time. It happens to us, and there’s not a damn thing we can do to stop it. Need proof? Stay awake until you fall asleep. Prove that you can’t be influenced by fatigue, and I’ll never write again.

I can make that statement with confidence because I know that you can be influenced, just as I can be influenced, and just as every other person can be influenced.

But this lesson isn’t about the fact that every single one of us can be influenced.​

It’s to help you understand that every action you take, whether physical, mental, verbal or written, influences others, yourself, and the future as you know it.

That’s great, but how does it apply to copywriting?​

This could very easily breach the realm of mindset, but this isn’t a mindset lesson, so let’s narrow it down to the words we write.

When was the last time you gave extreme consideration to how your words would be received?

Recall the last time you posted on this forum. Did you spend hours thinking about how people would respond? Did you wonder if your post would help someone instantly?

And did you also spend hours thinking about how people 5 years from now would be impacted when they read it? Or did you simply post it without much thought at all?

What if something you say today triggers a powerful chain of events leading to another Fastlane member’s freedom 3 years from now? How would that make you feel?​

That’s the big picture with influence. That’s how it works. What we write today influences others long into the future, and we can never truly know how far that influence extends.

That’s why every word we write MUST have a purpose.​

Influence is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it's always positive. If your writing sucks, or if you blindly write without structure, rhyme or reason, then your copy will negatively impact everyone who reads it for many years to come. But, if you write with intent, always moving toward a specific outcome, then you can practically guarantee you'll have a positive effect.

Good copywriters always keep influence in mind. They know it's not black & white. They know that just because a prospect doesn't buy today doesn't mean he won't come back tomorrow. That's why we always write every single word with a purpose.

Good copy doesn't just drive the sale today.
It plants seeds that drive sales tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day after that.​

Alright, enough lecture.

Let's read some kick-a$$ example phrases that'll unlock your mind and
open doors to worlds you never imagined possible!

Influential Words that Sell Today

All of these words & phrases are commands that drive action and
influence your prospect to take the next step.

Buy Now.
Click here.
Join.
Get It.
Subscribe.
Submit.


Influential Words that Sell this Week

All of these words & phrases are commands that
influence your prospect by setting a deadline or
invoking the principle of scarcity.

Offer Ends Friday.
Offer Valid thru Friday.
Offer Good While Supplies Last.
Respond by Friday if You're Interested.
My schedule Fills by Friday.
Call Before Friday.
Order by Friday and Get [insert something here].
There's only a few slots left.
These tacos won't last long.
They're going fast!


Words that Influence Long Into the Future

These words & phrases are called idea seed planters. They
plant seeds of thought that grow either throughout the
length of your copy, or over a period of time with
repeat exposure.

Consider this.
Think about it.
Consider it.
Give it some thought.
Ponder it.
Mull it over.
Consider your options.
Maybe it's right for you.
What's the worst that could happen?
Imagine how you'll benefit.
Imagine what you'll gain.
Just imagine it.
Sleep on it.
Just
do
it​

There are way more phrases than this.

This is just a small sample of some of the words you can use to influence your prospects, readers, clients, & customers.

Influence is what copywriting is all about.

It's about taking the influence that's going to happen anyway, and giving it direction. It's not about manipulating people. It's about helping customers reach the outcomes they want, and also reaching your own outcomes at the same time.

Everyone should benefit.

To ensure your copy always packs the most powerful impact possible, write with the intent of influencing people throughout all concepts of time whether it's right now, this week, or 10 years in the future.

And always seek to have a positive impact on others.

Day 3 Challenge
​

1. Help someone. Solve a problem for someone. Do it without asking for anything in return just like yesterday, and just like the day before. Remember, it doesn't have to be something epic. Just something that impacts them positively in some way.

2. Write 5 new headlines that MAKE THEM STOP, and tap into your prospects desires & emotions.

3. Using your product or service, or something you make up, write a paragraph or two to your target customer utilizing the influential phrases you learned in this post. Consider using all 3 types of phrases for maximum impact, and remember to write with intent. Find ways to show how your product helps your customer while driving them toward the action you want them to take.

Do this before reading the next lesson, or don't keep going forward.

Now that you know that influence is inevitable you can
start writing copy with intent & purpose so you can
achieve your desired results in the shortest
time possible. Always write for positive
outcomes. That's it for this lesson.
When you're ready, continue
on to Day 4 - Mindset
Lesson
2​

Day 3 CHALLENGE


New Headlines:

#1. This Will Solve All Your Bedtime Problems – BlindEars™

#2. Eat Healthy & Slash Your Spending - The Emergency Cookbook

#3. Laptop Tailored To YOUR Needs – Get One in Few Easy Steps

#4. Why Spend on Tutors? Free Lectures Prepared by Experts!

#5. Your Roof Insulation Won't Last Long Without This!


And the paragraphs:


Are you fed up with sleeping amidst all this noise? Hitting the snooze button for the twentieth time? If so, you’re in luck – we’ve got the product just for you!
Our BlindEars™ will LIBERATE you from all noises and lights when you need it the most! For once you’ll get the rest you deserve and recharge your batteries as never before! Just imagine the benefits The spring in your step, the spark in your eye, the envy of colleagues and the soar of your performance throughout the day! Buy now while supplies last!