How you WIPE your WINDSHIELD? #rant

[EL_00]

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Many people may not agree with me, but if your family is dragging you down, leave your family. Their blood relationship gives them no right to take advantage of you, or use you for their own motives.

Blood might be thicker than water, but it isn't thicker than the 500 miles of distance you put between them and you.

Just my opinion which I know in other cultures, might seem way off.

 

[DHunter30]

I know I’m new here but suppose I may start somewhere when its relevant, I’m that guy who walked away from my parents because it came to a point where you know nothing good comes from the relationships and that they do more damage when you hang around than letting go, your health and time are more important above all.

Make a new start for yourself, place yourself first for once and let them know why you’re doing what you’re doing and if they don’t respect you’re decision to better yourself as a result of their lack of responsibility then that should further fuel you to do what you need to for yourself.

I made a new start for myself and truthfully I’m better off for it, I have a stable household, a happy family and a beautiful daughter, I know if I was still hanging around my family I would have none of that.

but yea buddy health and time, prioritise those and you’ll find your way.

 

[Einfamilienhaus]

It sounds like your mom is putting her responsibilities on you while you are not getting the same support from her as your sister. That sounds like a toxic relationship. May I ask you about your cultural background?

 

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[Antifragile]

Many people may not agree with me, but if your family is dragging you down, leave your family. Their blood relationship gives them no right to take advantage of you, or use you for their own motives.

Blood might be thicker than water, but it isn't thicker than the 500 miles of distance you put between them and you.

Just my opinion which I know in other cultures, might seem way off.

Cultural norms are just another script.

As any script, it’s hard to recognize it as a script, let alone change.

That’s why what you say may be unpopular.

The way I see it, kids don’t make a choice to have parents. It’s not children who are responsible for adults. Same with siblings. We don’t choose to have siblings.

As a parent, I’m 100% responsible for my family. Any “dad” that walks away from such responsibilities is a weak man.

But the OP is a child, a grown person, an adult… but a child. Meaning: take care of yourself. Like that rule we are tough as lifeguards: make sure YOU are safe first, then go on saving others.

"The most important factor in survival is neither intelligence nor strength but adaptability"
-Charles Darwin

 

[Shono]

Many people may not agree with me, but if your family is dragging you down, leave your family. Their blood relationship gives them no right to take advantage of you, or use you for their own motives.

Blood might be thicker than water, but it isn't thicker than the 500 miles of distance you put between them and you.

Just my opinion which I know in other cultures, might seem way off.

I’ve heard you hint towards this vein of thinking in the past. Have you spoken in length about this and where you get your perspective from? I try not to think of it anymore, but family can be the biggest hindrance, and usually the most toxic will use the blood is thicker than water type of spiel.

 

[Mikkel]

After the age of 18, you are an adult with a clean slate. You have family, but you are not responsible for anyone but yourself. If you choose to have a family, that is your responsibility. It is not your responsibility to take care of your mother or siblings.

You are also enabling detrimental behaviors. Your mom should have a job(barring some sort of serious health condition). Your sister should 100% have a job. No excuse. Your younger brother is the only one who may or may not have a job. At some point you will have to cut them off from your money, all you are doing right now is making them more dependent on you. They might struggle at first, but it will be best for both you and for them in the future. You can give them a 1-month warning so they have time to find jobs.

If you are living in the house, you should pay your fair share for rent, food, etc. You should not be carrying the brunt of the rent though. 3 people are capable of working, you should pay 1/3(maybe 1/4) of the rent. If you move out, that is your money and your money only.

 

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[Wombat]

I know I’m new here but suppose I may start somewhere when its relevant, I’m that guy who walked away from my parents because it came to a point where you know nothing good comes from the relationships and that they do more damage when you hang around than letting go, your health and time are more important above all.

Make a new start for yourself, place yourself first for once and let them know why you’re doing what you’re doing and if they don’t respect you’re decision to better yourself as a result of their lack of responsibility then that should further fuel you to do what you need to for yourself.

I made a new start for myself and truthfully I’m better off for it, I have a stable household, a happy family and a beautiful daughter, I know if I was still hanging around my family I would have none of that.

but yea buddy health and time, prioritise those and you’ll find your way.

Yep, similar story here. Now married with two children. Very proud I've been able to give the kids a stable, loving and supportive home even though i had no experience of that - the crap I went through has stopped with me and not infected them.

OP, you can't help those who wont help themselves even though they are capable of action (assuming there'sno medical issue). It feels cruel to say no, but trying otherwise just keeps them weak and reliant on you. Once you've protected yourself it might be possible to re-open communication on your terms. I wish you strength.

 

[realbillperry]

At the risk of generalizing, my experience is that family will treat you worse than they treat friends or even strangers out in public. Because they "know" they can get away with it.

In your case, I think it's a matter of setting boundaries with mom and sis. And ENFORCING them. Train them how to treat you properly. Especially if you're the sole income source. They should be treating you like a F*ckin king.

 

[JordanK]

OP is going through a tough time but he'll graduate in September and it looks like his sister is graduating soon too.
His income should increase significantly if he goes into a professional job rather than his current low paid job and tutoring. His sister should also end up working at this point so his hardship should be over.

We don't know enough about OP's background to say for certain that his family are the problem. He mentioned that his mother has raised them alone, she's probably done 20+ years alone working to pay for them to survive.

I think Biophase's thread on purchasing a home as soon as possible applies here. Once OP has his professional job he should start trying to save as quickly as possible. Once he purchases a home, he can decide whether he wants his mother/family to live with him or not. But at least it'll be on his terms and the money will be going towards paying down of the mortgage rather than lost on rent. He can still help his family with shelter then too if he so wishes. A win-win.

With the exception of MJ who included a line on his own self awareness at the bottom of his post. It is kinda weird other people talking about "cultural norms, are just another script" then witness 10 posts where people vomit out scripted American cultural norms as though they are the enlightened ones, with zero self awareness.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I’ve heard you hint towards this vein of thinking in the past. Have you spoken in length about this and where you get your perspective from? I try not to think of it anymore, but family can be the biggest hindrance, and usually the most toxic will use the blood is thicker than water type of spiel.

You can't control who your family is. You can't control where you are born.

But you can control how to deal with these circumstances. Culture is a master at producing "sacred cows" -- states of being that are thought to be untouchable, when in fact, you can decide to do something about it. One such sacred cow is family; i.e., "Oh, that's my alcoholic dad and abusive brother, I can't abandon them. I can't move away."

No, you can.

You are not the product of your circumstances, you are a product of your decisions.

Family doesn't need to be blood, they can be friends, colleagues, partners, and other people who SUPPORT you and don't drag you down.

 

[Matt Sun]

This is something I've learned myself the hard way and it's that there is an hability called "SAY NO" and it's a muscle and you should train and use it ofter or it atrophy.

If you don't see any point on living you are waaay past the limit where you should've started saying NO.

It also bounds with the need to be liked by others. And we all need it, if nobody likes you probably you die a horrible death, but other people liking you can't be the top priority ever... and some people won't ever like you no matter what you do.


So just say NO. Practice it, it starts feeling great.

I think "FU money" is also "NO!" money.

Saying NO can mean freedom.

 

[EL_00]

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

Thank you for the support,
Just to add few things

- my background is Asian, worse a female. My mom has raise us alone for 10 years now, and she did sacrifice everything except us. You need to understand it is a hard choice while the easy exit there to sell us and married again after.
- I did graduate in 2023, and still cannot find a job. Yes a laughable
- since 16-20, I live on a dorm from scholarship. But covid make me return to hometown, since then I work along the school.
- mom expectations of me just a few but so hard with my low paying job. Just pay the bills, and later support my bro college tuition. So I do need to find a professional job soon.
- but this damn city don't open for a high professional job, while a day train distance from here is full of job opportunities. I need a month rent, a ticket, and water fasting to find any job there to last. But yes I cannot save while the expenses is bigger
- idk how many times we fight, please help ask your other child to pay 5050? Can't you track what you spend? Can't we settle for less? I did tutoring to save but idk why the expenses is getting bigger. We just fight and mom think I'm egoistic to want to live by myself "get rid that thinking, who do you after? Your father"
- so it click to me, this past 4 years I have limited myself cause I stick with that kind of mindset. "Just follow the flow" "if mom not agree, nothing good will happen" "your friends success now, but you haven't because you need to support family. It will be your lesson later" later, later, later, what did I wait for? I think 4 years is enough.
- my burden is mom keep fulfill consumptive behavior of my siblings, while I'm here scraping for saving and bills. It's not fair to waste my youth, for what? My bro's private tuition? My sis's new skincare? My life is so laughable

I'm drowning but idk which side is the surface or the bottom

 

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[The-J]

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

They are choosing beggars. It's up to you to tell them "if you want me to support you, you're going to need to follow these boundaries. Sis, you need to get a job. I don't care what it is, and you have to give some of that to Mom. Mom, I'll help you out, but I will not give you money just because you ask."

And if they can't do that... leave. Everyone in your life will say you're an a**hole but consider that people with loser mentalities tend to flock to others with similar mentalities, and those people calling you a**hole are assholes themselves.

 

[Kevin88660]

Alright, I have 1 single mom (52), 1 sis (23), 1 bro (16)

I (24) graduate in sep 23, and working 2 jobs to pay the bills (2500) for the entire family. The one I used to call Dad, pay like 300 a month through my sis. But this whole time she never tell anyone and spend it on her friends

I used to have saving from scholarship, but the expenses always more than the income, more after mom stop working. So it is 0 now.

So I'm stuck in a city with low paying job (1500) and side hustle tutoring (500). Even when I want to save for me to move up, the money will run out cause I'm the main source of income.

I don't ask for much, just my sis to work (your r 23 not a baby) and pay half the bills. Nope. She graduated and prepare for her big day celebration and need $ from Mom. And mom like always spend the money that was supposed to be rent for her, and if not enough rant to me for $. Her favorite quote "what else do u want?this is our life, just keep going"

Gosh, it's vicious cycle that I think it will be better to die tomorrow. why should I live? For my mom, siblings to live? For what?

If I move out, mom expect me to pay the same, but when I move out I need the $ for my rent too. I could help the half, but your other childs need to work to help to mama. If not we'll, I will be branded like my dad who runaway - a coward.

So yeah, I want to listen other people story here? Why u keep living? How you WIPE your windshield? If you think I'm pussy I'm welcome, just give me something/clue/going to work the next goal

Your mom and sister can easily do some part time job. You have three adults who are in the working age range.

Your family’s issue is an extreme low labor participation rate.

Who owns the house? I assume the 2.5k bill has no rent component inside.

You need to be thick and not taken hostage by other people’s opinions.

Give them an ultimatum.

Blood is thicker than water but money is thicker than everything else.

 

[Johnny boy]

Flip the roles.

You have a son. Is it your job to provide for your son or is it his job to provide for you?

No shit, it’s your job to provide for your son.

You would be an entitled a**hole to demand your own son take care of you when you are working age.

Okay, it’s settled, your family is a bunch of assholes.

The next step is to not argue with them at all. Retards are REALLY good at emotionally arguing, complaining, blaming, hating.

So just smile, say nothing, leave quietly, don’t even tell them why. Just walk out. Block their numbers.

They’ll hate you because they are entitled a**hole leaches. Entitled a**hole leaches always hate it when they can’t be a parasite anymore. Expect them to drag your name through the mud. Expect them to track you down and send hate mail.

They are wrong and you don’t owe them anything. You are living in psycho land and need to move.

By the way, I have never met your sister and already hate her. Entitled little piggy.

lil bro is 16, he can work. The children yearn for the mines.

Sis can work. Screw her.

Mom can work. Big piggy is lazy.

You make 1500 a month at your job? That’s around $70 a day. YOU are lazy too.

There’s tons of jobs that pay way more if you’re not a stupid lazy person. You are doing a low skill job because you’re lazy.

Here’s your prescription:

Wake up early every day and do your pushups. Eat clean foods like eggs and meat. No sugar or alcohol.

Go get a better job where you have to actually work. Make some real money and don’t be a pussy. You make weak a$$ money because you are lazy.

Better job, make more, save up two months for your family. Move out, leave everything behind or move out when no one’s there. Give momma her 2 month runway and tell her bye, then leave and expect them to hate you. Have no emotions and just gtfo.

Live alone, bust your a$$, don’t be around any more losers, hold yourself to a high standard, change your habits, and build a great life for yourself.

Become a great man, find a great woman, have great kids and be nothing like your old family. Make a new one and do it the right way.

 

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[JordanK]

Flip the roles.

You have a son. Is it your job to provide for your son or is it his job to provide for you?

No shit, it’s your job to provide for your son.

You would be an entitled a**hole to demand your own son take care of you when you are working age.

Okay, it’s settled, your family is a bunch of assholes.

The next step is to not argue with them at all. Retards are REALLY good at emotionally arguing, complaining, blaming, hating.

So just smile, say nothing, leave quietly, don’t even tell them why. Just walk out. Block their numbers.

They’ll hate you because they are entitled a**hole leaches. Entitled a**hole leaches always hate it when they can’t be a parasite anymore. Expect them to drag your name through the mud. Expect them to track you down and send hate mail.

They are wrong and you don’t owe them anything. You are living in psycho land and need to move.

By the way, I have never met your sister and already hate her. Entitled little piggy.

lil bro is 16, he can work. The children yearn for the mines.

Sis can work. Screw her.

Mom can work. Big piggy is lazy.

You make 1500 a month at your job? That’s around $70 a day. YOU are lazy too.

There’s tons of jobs that pay way more if you’re not a stupid lazy person. You are doing a low skill job because you’re lazy.

Here’s your prescription:

Wake up early every day and do your pushups. Eat clean foods like eggs and meat. No sugar or alcohol.

Go get a better job where you have to actually work. Make some real money and don’t be a pussy. You make weak a$$ money because you are lazy.

Better job, make more, save up two months for your family. Move out, leave everything behind or move out when no one’s there. Give momma her 2 month runway and tell her bye, then leave and expect them to hate you. Have no emotions and just gtfo.

Live alone, bust your a$$, don’t be around any more losers, hold yourself to a high standard, change your habits, and build a great life for yourself.

Become a great man, find a great woman, have great kids and be nothing like your old family. Make a new one and do it the right way.

I think OP is a woman not a man.

Is OP even living in the US?

 

[Johnny boy]

I think OP is a woman not a man.

Is OP even living in the US?

I need to pay better attention haha

 

[Bounce Back]

I need to pay better attention haha

The spirit of the post remains though!

 

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[random_username]

OP, maybe start by talking to each of your family members 1 on 1. I'm not sure from which Asian country you are, so I don't know how direct you can be because of saving face. But start with talking to them honestly. Explain to them what is the problem, as calm as you can be. If they are your actual family, they will show effort to figure this out together. Maybe this is the wake up call they need. If they are not understanding, and you get the feeling they are taking advantage of you, you can take the more dramatic steps. There will probably be some crying involved, probably not a single conversation. You can prepare yourself for those conversations by writing it out in advance so you know what you want to say.

If they show no interest in helping you after you explain them the situation, then the decision is already made for you. Plan you exit quietly, don't tell anyone, and just do it when the time comes. You cannot save anyone if you don't save yourself first.

Also please keep in mind that some of the comments above are coming from American people who will never truly understand the level of how f*cked up things can get for the rest of the world.

I know this is hard situation, and feels terrible right know, just know that some time in the future you will be proud of yourself how early in life you started taking care of people. I honestly wish you all the best.

 

[Bounce Back]

Also please keep in mind that some of the comments above are coming from American people who will never truly understand the level of how f*cked up things can get for the rest of the world.

I will say generally there is truth to this part in regards to poverty levels but the emotional side of this type of thing is super common in America too where there is no moral guidance/systems for a lot of the country and even less social fabric. Even then as someone who grew up in a trailer park with broken/fighting/family drama I can say this stuff is alive and well in the good ol' USA too - abusers/parasites are everywhere.

 

[random_username]

I will say generally there is truth to this part this type of thing is super common in America too where there is no moral guidance/systems for a lot of the country and even less social fabric. Even then as someone who grew up in a trailer park with broken/fighting/family drama I can say this stuff is alive and well in the good ol' USA too - abusers/parasites are everywhere.

I have no doubt there are bad situations in USA. But would you rather experience that situation of being poor and in a bad household in USA or almost any other country in the world? That's all I'm trying to say.

 

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[Bounce Back]

I have no doubt there are bad situations in USA. But would you rather experience that situation of being poor and in a bad household in USA or almost any other country in the world? That's all I'm trying to say.

I personally cannot say and don't want to hijack the thread. I think if you look at videos of fly over country like Appalachia in the USA the type of poverty/messed-up family stuff here has a certain more depressing feeling. You are minutes away from some of the richest people in the world and in some cases go to school alongside people who have no clue what the life you live is like. It breeds a level of guilt from a young age/outcast feeling. It isn't a scrappy hustle optimistic sort of poverty which you see in for instance new immigrants to the USA which I feel is why a lot of times they catapult past the previous lower class folks here - it's all mental.

Again I am sure the above social class contrasts repeats in other countries to - my point is not to say the USA is worst/better, etc... its that what the other commenters were getting at that you kinda called out is that there is a universal concept here that transcends where you were born. The flavor of how you experience it may be different or more difficult but you can face it anywhere.

 

[JordanK]

To add to these points above. In some other countries there can be structural things that hold families together that they don't have in the US.

I'll post a few examples, in Muslim majority countries if the woman tries to leave the family home with the children the court/system is more likely to rule in favor of the man. Opposite of the west.

In many cultures your job will be heavily associated with your father and sometimes the head of the family will manage finances for the entire extended family even into adulthood.

If you leave your family you may never be accepted again in your hometown or within your religion.

Many parents have large families because there is no pension system so they rely entirely on their kids to fund their elderly years.

In Ireland, my country, for example, its a country of 5million people. About 4million native and 1mill foreign born. Everybody is connected to everybody at a distance of 1-2 connections. Walking out on your commitments to family would have you seen as unreliable for certain job positions, even renting/leases in certain parts of the country.

There is a reason why so many millions of people are flooding across the border into the US and why so many took boats/planes to move there over the years. Leaving entirely behind their life before.

*** I just wanted to add as well. It doesn't mean the US system is better or other countries are wrong. It's just different. The individualistic society might improve your life when times are good but there is no societal barriers if you start falling. In western countries we see a lot of elderly people dumped into nursing homes or one thing I noticed in the streets of NYC was so many elderly homeless people. Not as common elsewhere.
OP's family may have cultural expectations that they are fulfilling their roles (or scripts) whereas we see it as manipulative/hostile as it doesn't conform with the individualist script of move out and take care of yourself from 18.

 

[EL_00]

I finally told my family that I want to move on. I really don't have much money left, only 400. I'm trying to find cheap rent around my current job, that at least could last a month.

I first ask my mom to move with me, along with my bro. I just want to move away from my sis, but my mom don't wanna.

And as expected my sis don't wanna by herself too, they bring up I am like my father who run away and bring up that I got scholarship because of them. U see I do feel regret taking that scholarship, it's my fault that I got education while they have to pay for their rent alone.

So yes, I'm trying to be selfish and make my own decisions. Cause so far my mom has made it for me. And it comes to my head, and her decision based on what best for her family not me alone.

 

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[MattR82]

I have a very lazy mother who grew up wealthy. When my grandfather passed away when I was 16 I was the go to. Putting as many miles distance as possible worked for me. At least a 3 hours drive. A 6 hour flight was even better lol.
Some people will never do anything if you keep doing it for them. Once they have to do it for themselves, they will.

We have a much better relationship now, and if any funny stuff is tried I don't do my monthly check up call for a few months. Works well

 

[EL_00]

I have a very lazy mother who grew up wealthy. When my grandfather passed away when I was 16 I was the go to. Putting as many miles distance as possible worked for me. At least a 3 hours drive. A 6 hour flight was even better lol.
Some people will never do anything if you keep doing it for them. Once they have to do it for themselves, they will.

We have a much better relationship now, and if any funny stuff is tried I don't do my monthly check up call for a few months. Works well

Well I think you are correct in min 3 hours drive, cause my mom will still act the same if our distance only 30 minutes.

Will take that into consideration. Thank u