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A Note for People Seriously Struggling

WJK

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I came to this thread because I was feeling low: I've taken action over the last couple of weeks and no-one has replied and am unclear what to do next. I called two universities (basically Ivy League equivalent in Europe; one is my alma mater and I was research assistant to a professor at the other). The proposal was to work together on this idea - shout out to @LateBloomer for the suggestion :) - neither has replied! It's only been 10 days and it's exam season here so I don't know if that's the reason for the delay but the proposal was a sound one and my email was simply suggesting a quick meeting to discuss!

Anyway, I agree with this - I come from a very humble background and money was an issue. Debt was also to be avoided at all costs; I still carry that mentality with me and it's even affected my approach to business/producing my own idea - I want to do it alone and sell to someone; if I can at all help it I don't want an external investor because I would be 'indebted' to them (this is different to 'I'll have to give away equity'). However, the original poster should speak to the companies (student debt I imagine is broadly non-negotiable) but the stuff he got into debt to buy that was unnecessary - those companies. It is ALWAYS worth speaking to them - be nice, negotiate terms (e.g. lower interest, waiver of late payment charges etc.). It's good practice for stuff you'd have to negotiate for your own business further down the line anyway. On the very rare occasion that I suffered a late payment charge with Amex for example, I always called and they always refunded the late payment charge and interest! Seriously, at that level of debt, every little "negotiating down" will help - I'm sure there is a tonne of advice for free on the internet about strategies to manage your debt/consolidated to relief the stress as much as possible whilst being realistic about what you have to do. Good luck!
Keep that mindset. No debt & living close the bone will keep you out of the poor house.
 
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FastNAwesome

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I’m deciding to be in the fastlane.

Doesn't it feel great to re-claim responsibility for your life/situation, and with it, the power to change it as well?

Nothing to add to lots of great advice here.

Just want to wish you much luck in your endeavors. It really starts with the mindset, and with the decision. Own your life. And shape it how you want.

At one point, I was -$1,200,000 with no income. I fixed it. You're starting out +1,090,000 better than I was.

Always a bucket of cold water and a great reality check.

Although things are going well, this always shakes me up, and moves me to do better and more.

Thanks for sharing that story. I love that podcast.
 

Thomas Baptiste

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This represents me so well right now. It's really all about choices man, everything you do everyday is a choice. We chose to have mentalities that dictated how we should behave and the actions we should take in our lives. Choosing the FastLane isn't easy, but it's sure to reap bigger/better benefits than anything else out there.
 

BigShaw

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juba.hadjal

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I was doing some reflection today about where I am and where I’m headed. These two places are very, very different.

I never talk about this with close friends, let alone almost complete strangers. Between student loans and credit card debt I’ve got 110k racked up. Yes, six figures of almost entirely unjustified debt.

Scary, right? I know some people with more, but not many, unless they have a mortgage or a business loan.

But here’s the thing; it doesn’t bother me any more. I used to have crippling anxiety, losing sleep and having restricted confidence with women. I used to be on a date and feel like I was wasting the girl’s time because I knew she would ultimately run from my financial troubles. I was allowing the debt to poison every aspect of my life. It made decisions for me. It became one of the largest parts of my identity.

MJ’s books got my proverbial ship (because lord knows I don’t have the real one yet) sailing in the right direction. But that wasn’t enough. For the impact of his powerful words to take hold I had to actively pursue inner change. This involved looking at my own inner beliefs and understanding why I’m living my life like a victim. What I ultimately discovered was that I was living as though I was a victim to the world. I was not. The world only allows people to become victims if they choose to do so - I was a victim to my own decisions. This is a critical distinction. I decided that college was a great choice with the information I had, even though it wasn’t. I decided the things I bought on credit were “necessary”, even though they weren’t. In aggregate, I made a collection of decisions that showed I alone decided to be a sidewalker.

So what’s different now?

I’m deciding to be in the fastlane. The world is not going to tell me whether or not I can do this. I’m deciding that I will do this. Now that this life decision is made (and make no mistake, this is a LIFE drcision), it makes a lot of other decisions very easy; where I spend my money, where I spend my time, and who I do and do not listen to. I embarked on this shift about two years ago, and I’m just now seeing a business idea begin to come to fruition. On the outside I’m still the same debt-ridden desk jocky with a predictably mediocre existence. But in private, when I lock myself in my room and do the real work, I am a millionaire butterfly in its cocoon. I am grinding 20x harder than I do at my job to learn and bring a revolutionary product to life. No person, family or otherwise, will disrupt this. I’ve detached friends and family members who exerted even an ounce of negative energy towards me, and I don’t need them back.

To thosevwho feel like victims, stop telling yourself a shitty story and wake up. You are only a victim to your own ignorance and lack of will. If you live in a free country, there are no excuses. It is simply about what you believe, and what you’re willing to do.

“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

- William Ernest Henley
Hello there, I can't relate about debt but I can understand your struggles. I live in france and we have another relation to debt and consumption.

Life is all about the choices we make. I chose to be a victime as well, finding exuses and not taking action. Mental masturbation is really tough. I now 29, married and I have two children.

My situation is shitty and we live out 1200€ a month. The moment you feel your dreams are getting away is frightening. I failed at three businesses and I keep bragging about my dreams to become a millionaire to people who don't want that for me.

The saddest thing that motivate me the most is making my mother happy and see her again. Almost 5 years now, and I am starting to feel ashamed to return to my country to see my family.

We will make it buddy :) get a gripp and be patient.
 

masterneme

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The latest research shows that business partnerships have a 70% failure rate.

Compare that to the overall business failure rate (which includes partnerships), of 50% in 5 years and 70% in 10 years...and you have the exact same probability of success.

According to some statistics the chances of getting pregnant are even lower than that, yet here we are...
 
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Fox

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Little late to this thread.

I never cared about "starting business stats". If you look at anything else in life you most likely failed your a$$ off before you had any success too:
- riding a bike
- cooking a meal
- talking to girls
- driving a car
- creating good relationships

"70% of people burn their first meal" < who cares. Maybe it works first time, maybe it doesn't, but if you want to learn to cook you just keep going till you got it.

Same with business. Some people have it click first time and some don't. It doesn't matter > start again and keep going. No debates, statistics, or forum responses are going to change that.

The only reason the starting business stats get used is people like to justify why they gave up or why they didn't even start. You would never use those type of stats for one of the 1000 crucial life skills you already have mastered. Its only when the stakes are higher that people want something to fall back on.

I really don't get your replies @GoGetter24. There are 100s of super detailed execution threads on here. There are also some excellent mindset and motivational threads. You will need both.

While you are debating the fine details someone else is taking action and getting results.
 

Vigilante

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I have taken to asking "What does the @Fox
Little late to this thread.

I never cared about "starting business stats". If you look at anything else in life you most likely failed your a$$ off before you had any success too:
- riding a bike
- cooking a meal
- talking to girls
- driving a car
- creating good relationships

"70% of people burn their first meal" < who cares. Maybe it works first time, maybe it doesn't, but if you want to learn to cook you just keep going till you got it.

Same with business. Some people have it click first time and some don't. It doesn't matter > start again and keep going. No debates, statistics, or forum responses are going to change that.

The only reason the starting business stats get used is people like to justify why they gave up or why they didn't even start. You would never use those type of stats for one of the 1000 crucial life skills you already have mastered. Its only when the stakes are higher that people want something to fall back on.

I really don't get your replies @GoGetter24. There are 100s of super detailed execution threads on here. There are also some excellent mindset and motivational threads. You will need both.

While you are debating the fine details someone else is taking action and getting results.

I have taken to asking "what does the @Fox say?" because if I can figure that out (or read it from him directly) I can usually find the right answer.
 

Fox

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I have taken to asking "What does the @Fox


I have taken to asking "what does the @Fox say?" because if I can figure that out (or read it from him directly) I can usually find the right answer.

Ha someone is going to quote that crazy music video now.

I get where is he coming from cause when you are starting you want proof/stats etc but it ultimately is pointless. I still get that sometimes but (as others has said already) it will come down to mindset either way. If you are someone who will hit it first time or 100th time you still need the mindset to keep going and make it happen.

I always think of the guy who created "Dollar Shave Club". He got his first 1,000 customers going door to door selling his product. Thats not 1,000 doors > its 1,000 sales. Imagine the brutal rejection that required. That is the mindset you need.
 
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Vigilante

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Ha someone is going to quote that crazy music video now.

I get where is he coming from cause when you are starting you want proof/stats etc but it ultimately is pointless. I still get that sometimes but (as others has said already) it will come down to mindset either way. If you are someone who will hit it first time or 100th time you still need the mindset to keep going and make it happen.

I always think of the guy who created "Dollar Shave Club". He got his first 1,000 customers going door to door selling his product. Thats not 1,000 doors > its 1,000 sales. Imagine the brutal rejection that required. That is the mindset you need.

My son recently put himself into a position where he has no option but to succeed. It doesn't mean he won't struggle... but taking a page from Kyosaki (who he hasn't read and I generally don't quote) he's put himself into a scenario where he has a nut to cover and has to figure out how to make it happen. Standing still isn't a great option.

There's a great line from the Jerry McGuire movie, when he is copying off his manifesto at kinkos (with apologies to the ladies here for the course language) :

 

masterneme

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I always think of the guy who created "Dollar Shave Club". He got his first 1,000 customers going door to door selling his product. Thats not 1,000 doors > its 1,000 sales. Imagine the brutal rejection that required. That is the mindset you need.
alec-baldwin-glengarry-glen-ross.jpeg

"It takes brass balls to sell <anything>".
 

Counter

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I appreciate your guts that you shared your story with us. I think it is a wrong approach to start a business with the borrowed amount. You can lend money for your business but only when it becomes mature unless you will never get success at any cost. Stay blessed!
 
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Fastlane Liam

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You're shifting topics here. I said I don't care about statistics because I don't care what others have done as a group. (individuals I care about...groups of people generalized into a statistic? Not so much)

Not sure what that has to do with your new questions here.

But, I'll answer.

Of course I care how long it takes to make my goals in life.

But my goal isn't to "get rich" (been there, done that. I was "rich" by most people's definition by age 25)

My goal is autonomy and freedom, money is just a means to that end.

My goal is to build a business that allows me to keep the autonomy and freedom I already have, and also increase my wealth to pay for continuing freedom and autonomy in my old age. (I'm 36, but I've seen enough to realize that old age/doctors/medical bills will very quickly erode my autonomy unless I can pay to remain in control)

My next goal will be to maintain my current goal, while building a legacy (I have an idea of what that will look like, but I don't care to share it)

So the business steps I take are more concerned with divorcing my time from the process than anything else.

As for other costs, I greatly enjoy the process and struggle of business (quite addicted to it), so no, I don't really care.
Sorry this is off topic but it fits it so well, Patrick Bet David (youtuber) said theres 4 Layers to Earning Money, and you seemed to have hit them all and in order - which is very fascinating to me. Congrats on your successes.

Layers:

Survival
Status
Freedom
Purpose
 

AllanB

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I totally agree with @GoGetter24 in this thread.

How can you seriously compare getting abs and succeed in business?
- To get abs, you have to do physical exercises, the result is guaranteed. All you need is willpower.
- To succeed in business, you need to work very hard, be smart and persistent. And nothing is guaranteed. You can do business for 15 years with all the possible efforts and get no result.

The difficulty level is just incomparable.

Excellent post: A Note for People Seriously Struggling
 
Last edited:

LynetteP

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However, in your defense you would make an excellent professor of Entrepreneurship. Perhaps Academia might be your true calling.
LOL- but I can tell you right now he couldn't get that job at the business school at UT-Austin! They only give it to real entrepreneurs, even back when I was there.

I hope one day he realizes how patient everyone was with him on this thread, and if he actually listens, is someday in a position to extend the same kindness to others.
 
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