Ever wonder how people end up in dead end jobs at 40?

[Delmania]

I sit here at my desk, and I can feel my life draining from me. I sit in an open office arrangement, so I don't have even have the luxury of privacy. Everyone can see what everyone is doing. When the team I am on mentioned this is not comfortable to our manager, he said he wasn't going back to open walls because that hampered communication and teamwork*. He, however, has a nice corner office with a door closed.

Second, like most Americans, my work is dead to me. Some background, I have a master's in computer science. I know there is a bias towards college here, but for me, it was genuinely worth it. I enjoy programming, and the concepts in computer science tickled my brain because merged together two loves of mine: math and programming. Meanwhile, I waste my life writing "textboxes over data" so a middle-aged divorced woman who micromanages me can fit an arbitrary number each month. Most of my life is wasted in emails, coordinating what should be simple changes. I've tried taking the approach that I am here for a paycheck, but it doesn't work. The stuff I create? Within 5 years is will be useless shit. More crappy software written so some other cog in the wheel can move the ball slightly faster. It's my contribution to helping my company make 3 billion a year, which has been a yearly goal for the past 5.

During a meeting, someone mentioned how we gained 10,000 customers, but lost nearly the same. These people tried to somehow make this relevant to the department I work in, which deals with telephone lines and networking lines. No good, nothing we do is customer facing. Our latest victoly was that we switched from fiber ring network to DWDM, so the bits move slightly faster. Relevant? Hardly. Customers won't care; employees don't give a shit because our proxy blocks any useful sites. The execs? Maybe? They don't care, they're too busy doing whatever the hell they're doing. The email was nothing more than mental masturbation for an achievement which does very little to make anyone's life remotely better.

Every day I come to work is a black hole for me. Will I be here in 5 years? No. I am currently seeking another job at a remote company. However, it will still be another job where someone else will tell me how to use my skills for their benefit.

For many reasons, I am not certain I will ever escape the corporate world.

But you, you reading these pathetic words of wallowing self-pity, can do it**:
* You can live below your means.
* You can work your a$$ off and make something.
* You can get in front of people, engage them, and make a difference in your lives.
* You can take your life by the reins and do what you need to do.

Never get sucked into that addictive drug known as a salary.
Never try to climb the Sisyphean corporate ladder.
Never forgot, your life is worth more than either of those.
Never forgot true wealth is when you are capable of spending your time doing what YOU want to do.
Never forget a few good friends are worth more than all your coworkers combined.

Always remember, if you don't live your life, someone else will gladly live it for you.

* Open offices do improve collaboration and communication, but at the expense of productivity and quality.
** Yes, I have been diagnosed with depression.

 

[Duane]

That was pretty deep and motivating

 

[Vigilante]

As a manager it was tough for me to figure out there are many people out there that actually like being, not just managed but, micromanaged.

Generally, those are clock punchers. Tell me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it... and I will do it. And, if it implodes, it's your fault, not mine. Safety.

Allows them to just do a job and collect a paycheck, like a chimpanzee.

 

[Vigilante]

I'm getting very, very rich reading all this Gold ! I love it ! Thank you !

Hey @Vigilante , so when I read about some company where the owner and/or employees are raving about how they love working at blank...that the 'freedom' is great, the money is good, and they love who they work with...are they just blowing smoke ? Do they gain something by saying these things ?

I think they are sincere.

When I had never had a bar-b-que on a snorkel sail watching whales jump in Maui, I thought my hot dogs at my local beach at a local lake in Minnesota was pretty great.

I had a friend that worked 20 years from Best Buy. He LOVED IT. Loved the company. Loved the flex time. Loved the money. Loved his co-workers.

Then...

they moved him to a new job. Took the flex time away in a corporate cost cutting measure. Laid off many of his peers. Increased the pressure. And finally laid him off.

His opinion is different now.

So I don't begrudge people who either have no other experiences, or are in a position of comfort and happiness.

But you know that ALL bosses/owners will say that, right? What boss/owner says the place sucks, morale sucks, and his workers suck and their business model sucks? To a certain degree, all OWNERS promote the highlights. The owners have much to gain, and in many cases ignore reality.

I talked with someone this week who said he loves his job and never plans to leave it. For all the reasons you mentioned above. For his sake, I hope the management team never changes, is as an "at will" employee he's one human resources decision on a white board away from his opinion changing.

 

[Vigilante]

It's interesting that the study shows a large % of that disconnect employees feel is attributed to poor management (bosses from hell).

I have a number of employees who have been with me for 10 plus years (doing a great job) because their former employers treated them like shit.

And as @GlobalWealth said, those may end up being your best employees... as long as they remember how shitty things used to be. We tend to forget over time. But those that truly appreciate what you do may be the exception, and your best workers.

I always encouraged my best workers to go out there and get MORE for themselves. Not to settle.

 

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[Delmania]

That's funny, I just started my first new job after college as a junior developer, and I was pretty luck to get hired even though I didn't know much about programming to start with. Right now the company is paying me good money to train me and let me learn, and I'd say that like you, I do enjoy working with programming since it's not a brain dead job. I wonder if a couple years down the road when I am finally being good at it, will I be feeling the same as you? This is why I kept telling my friend in the company who works beside me, who also got me this job, that my end goal is not to advance much in the company but to learn programming using this job and make something out my own in the future. Even though our jobs might be draining us, but you can not denial that tech jobs are one of the few jobs that pays good right now and tech skills are one of the skills most suitable to start your own side job at the moment.

You know how to program? Good. Let me introduce you to the other 18.2 million people that can program*. You'd like to make your mark using your programming skills? Good. Knowing how to program makes you valuable. Learning how to market makes you dangerous. There's a trend here to teach you to learn copywriting. Don't bother, you know programming; but you do need to learn to market because before you launch your next great idea, you want to know for sure people will buy it. There are resources aplenty for this. This site is a great one. Coursera has a free course on marketing that first year MBAs take. I recommend it.

However, you are competing with 18.2 other people in this world. That's good for you because 99.9% of them are dark matter developers. They come into their grey cubicles, write some shitty Java code, push it some bloated application server, and watch as some exec's stock options go up 0.001%. But not you. You're on this forum, you need to own this shit. You need to get good at this shit. How well do you know core computer science topics? People spew out you don't need to learn computer science to be a good programmer, and they're right. But you, you don't want to be a good programmer, you want to be a great programmer, because as you start your trek on the fastlane, you're going to work with other programmers, and the more solid your technical understanding is, the more you can drive towards the result you want. Learning to program without know computer is like learning to write copy without understanding how to market or the psychology of persuasion. You'll get good at it, but you won't master it. Sure, you can hire someone to program, but if you read these forums, people have mixed results with that and most fall back to learning to code themselves, because writing and managing software is a complex beast.

Don't stick with whatever language your company uses. Go beyond. Learn languages like LISP, Elixir, Clojure. Languages that challenge your understanding of computation. Branch out in other areas. Systems thinking, philosophy, mathematics. The more you look at other fields, the more crucial connections your brain will make, the more you'll see opportunities where others see nothing.

Learn iOS programming and launch something. Not because people want your shitty app, they don't. Do it because you'll learn how to build and release something without the hand holding of mega corp.

The reason people end up in dead jobs is because they don't own their lives. They are like passengers on a train, watching the world go by and expecing to be taken care of. The concept of working at the same job for 40 years and retiring is a tired old like shoved down our throats. The concept of working your way up the ladder is the same shit with different wrappings. You need to own your life.

In a few years, you had better not understand how I feel, because you better have a successful launch or a job that fits in with your life's purpose. Now back to writing shit forms apps that talk to databases.

* Of course, there is a shortage.

 

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[Vigilante]

Last week, one of my friends told me that his co-worker who wanted to meet me. His co-worker found out what I do and read the 4HWW.

Alright, cool. No big deal. I decided to go with my friend to meet two of his co-workers.

The guy who read the 4HWW started asking questions and was engaged in the conversation. The other guy (I'm not sure why he was there) immediately shut down everything I said. It's cool though...I'm used to that.

He said things along the lines of, "I don't believe that." "I just want to work until I retire so I can work in a shop on a golf course and enjoy myself."

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.


Apparently, he loves golf and couldn't wait for the weekend to get out on the course.

I sat there thinking, "really? Is this real life? I could go to the golf course every single day right now, NOT work in the shop, and spend the rest of my day building my business. Why wait 40+ years?"

Instead, his days look like this: wake up, join morning traffic to "try" to get the work on time, work 9-5 (and then some more, because he's getting those extra overtime hours), join traffic to get home, workout, sleep, repeat for 40+ years.

I let that go. No point in wasting my breath. I'm glad whatever he thinks or does has nothing to do with me.

Here's the rough part.

The rest of the conversation was them going back and forth talking about how bad their jobs are, how bad their bosses are, and how they're looking for a better job somewhere else.

A better job... how can it be better when they're going to have the same conversations after they get it?

It was tough sitting there and listening to that. I couldn't sit still. I needed to get out of there.

I recommended TMF to the guy who had some interest and went on with my life.

If you can't beat 'em...jo...

WAIT

You CAN beat 'em

 

[ddzc]

Last week, one of my friends told me that his co-worker who wanted to meet me. His co-worker found out what I do and read the 4HWW.

Alright, cool. No big deal. I decided to go with my friend to meet two of his co-workers.

The guy who read the 4HWW started asking questions and was engaged in the conversation. The other guy (I'm not sure why he was there) immediately shut down everything I said. It's cool though...I'm used to that.

He said things along the lines of, "I don't believe that." "I just want to work until I retire so I can work in a shop on a golf course and enjoy myself."

I laughed to myself because this guy is around the same age as me (mid 20's) and had his whole life planned out...

...with the climax being able to retire and work at a golf shop.


Apparently, he loves golf and couldn't wait for the weekend to get out on the course.

I sat there thinking, "really? Is this real life? I could go to the golf course every single day right now, NOT work in the shop, and spend the rest of my day building my business. Why wait 40+ years?"

Instead, his days look like this: wake up, join morning traffic to "try" to get the work on time, work 9-5 (and then some more, because he's getting those extra overtime hours), join traffic to get home, workout, sleep, repeat for 40+ years.

I let that go. No point in wasting my breath. I'm glad whatever he thinks or does has nothing to do with me.

Here's the rough part.

The rest of the conversation was them going back and forth talking about how bad their jobs are, how bad their bosses are, and how they're looking for a better job somewhere else.

A better job... how can it be better when they're going to have the same conversations after they get it?

It was tough to sit there and listen to that. I couldn't sit still. I needed to get out of there.

I recommended TMF to the guy who had some interest and went on with my life.

You did your job. You tried to shift their mindset and show them a different path but they refused. I wish I received such a shortcut many many years ago.

I had a similar mindset. I had no idea what opportunities were out there. I thought because I didn't come from a rich family and didn't go to university, I would never make it, not even a 6 figure salary. In college, I remember telling myself these exact words "All I want is to make 60k a year and I'm set for life". After college, it took me a few years to hit that working slow lane jobs and I was like wtf, this is shit.

I then started service based businesses on the side but it only earned me a small amount due to the limited amount of free time I had on evenings and weekends. I knew it wasn't enough. I knew a brick and mortar style business was out of the question due to capital, so I started looking online. I then looked at flippa websites for sale, filtered it down to the guys making over 10k a mth and analyzed. This was back in 2008. I noticed affiliate marketers killing it. I then joined all of the forums, learnt it all including SEO. I saw guys make 20-30k a mth and was blown away. Long story short, from 2008-2013 I did affiliate marketing until it totally collapsed on me in one night and went to $0/mth in revenue. I tried figuring out wtf I did wrong...I then found this forum and read the book. From that moment further, it all made sense. I still have the email I sent to MJ after reading the book and telling him about my affiliate marketing empire which tanked in a single night while I was asleep and thanked him for the book.

It took me YEARS to find this place and another year or 2 to actually read the book and understand all of my faults and failures. This is why I love and respect the youngsers on the forum who have found it here, read the book and are taking action at an early stage in life. They're light years ahead of everyone. All we can do it educate people out there and give them the shortcuts to this place so they can educate themselves on alternative options out there. But at the end of the day, we can't help the folks who are too stubborn in their own ways or too damn lazy to take action and get out of their comfort zones.

 

[Andy Black]

Re-reading the original quotation I still don't like the dark truth contained in that last sentence. It's a peak into the darkness of real regret. Hopefully for some where it is not too late you can benefit from our loss.

There's a short video I made but never published. I was too upset thinking about a really stupid mistake I nearly made. That sentence was my wake up call @Vigilante.

The stupid mistake? I might have missed our 3 year old's first Irish Dance in school because I was on a course 5 miles away in the next village.

Thankfully I ducked out of the course for a couple of hours and was there for when he trooped into the hall shyly looking around to find us in the crowd of parents.

The little smile he tried to hide when he found us is a memory I'll treasure. Money can't buy that.

Money gives us the freedom to spend time with the people we love.

As @LightHouse has said, it gives us the ability to put the first things first.



I've mentioned this before @Vigilante ... you've given your children the start that means they can be there for their own kids. What a priceless gift.

Thank you.

 

[Vigilante]

I have the first three points well and truly covered. It's the last two I tend to struggle with.

I've made myself somewhat indispensable which I'm working towards changing now. And that includes automating and outsourcing.

It's one of the main reasons I'm here. I want to free up my time to pursue other things, but I've fallen into the trap of thinking I'm indispensable.

So key.

When I started this latest company, my WHOLE GOAL was to make something that could operate without me.

The commandment of TIME from the Millionaire Fast Lane.

In order to scale, it can't (usually) be time dependent. A bricklayer only gets paid when he is laying bricks, right?

To me, the commandment of TIME has been critical to me achieving freedom.

It's counter intuitive to old school empire building.

I will ponder more on this later while I am sitting at the horse track.

 

[Vigilante]

It doesn't have to be, however. My grandfather, for example, spent years working as a clothes washer repairmen. When the time came when his services were no longer needed, he wasn't escorted out the door like some thief in the night, the company moved and trained him. He was one of the people who spent 40 years at the same company and retired on a pension. The golden years that is the narrative we grow up with. He was proud to work at the company, and he did his best not to let his actions tarnish the company's name.

This isn't an "us vs. them" situation, meaning employees vs employers. It's, like so many things, a reflection on our society as a whole. Not everyone can be an entrepreneur (although if you're reading this, I hope you are working towards it), some people do need to be employees. Who's going to build the automation systems and artificial intelligence?

However, at some point, during the 70s (I think), companies changed from giving CEOs a regular salary to tying their compensation to stock performance. As such, companies started focusing on short-term results more than building out long-term, sustainable models. That's probably why companies no longer invest much or simply pay lip service to training employees because it takes time to train and no one has that (although they do).

Then you have the me-generation of the 80s, and rise of materialism and consumerism, with people focusing on keeping up with the Jones and a level of narcissism to boot. I recall hearing an article onNPR about how teenagers in the past didn't have the sense of specialness and uniqueness we do today. Most answers indicated that they were well grounded and had a good sense of self. Compare this to today's rampant egoism and belief that everyone is special and destined for greateness...


Bottom line, line so many things, we have seen the enemy, and it is us.

My wife's grandfather spent 40 years with Proctor and Gamble, and retired with a full pension and a gift basket every Christmas.

However, that doesn't exist in any sector of the U.S. economy any more exclusive of government workers. There's no more company pensions, and no more Christmas baskets. It was replaced with at will employment and free agency.

There's no such thing as job security any more, and nobody is going to start now and retire after 40 years with the same company.

Every company refers to their employees as "family" until such a time as you have to let your "family" member go for cost cutting reasons. Employees are just a number on a white board.

Spouses that encourage their other half to stay employed for the perceived "security" W2 employment offers are living in delusion. Companies demand your loyalty, but offer none in return. Nobody is untouchable.

 

[ddzc]

Love this thread and it's a great reminder of why we're all here in the first place...to be free.

I try to educate people on fastlane psychology regularly and people just don't get it, they don't understand a thing I'm saying. They think travelling 2 weeks out of the year is being free, SMH. This is the reason I'm always on this forum, always involved in the local meetups, I need to be surrounding by the people who GET IT!

A cool thing did happen not too long ago..I spoke with an old manager of mine (in his 50s) and he's a huge book reader. I tossed him a link to the millionaire fastlane on amazon and he immediately ordered the audio version. Finally, someone who took immediate action and I truly hope it changes him.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Am I truly free? Hell no. But I enjoy working towards that goal and I determine exactly what I'm going to do everyday. And for that, I am grateful that a young me had the stones to break away from a scripted life.

Sometimes we don't know it, but having the freedom to pursue your freedom is the freedom. (Damn, that sounds like a meme.) Likewise, pursung the dream, is the dream.

 

[Ricko]

This is a brilliant thread. Thank you to the author @Vigilante and those that have kept it alive so that I could stumble across it today.

It is my opinion that the majority of people in dead end jobs do not see their own reality or self worth. In their world they are doing the right thing by the script, they are doing what they were taught to do. They pay their bills, they pay tax, they put money in a crappy pension and they cling to the property ladder with a 90%+ mortgage. They are alive but maybe not living.

Every company that I have ever worked for would have happily kept me there until I died or retired and each company had plenty of people on their books that fit the MO of the shirt guy in the original story.

Each of my past employers paid me just enough to prevent me from going elsewhere and I served their purpose, I did a good job..... The timing was coincidence but each time that I received a promotion in a particular job I would quit shortly afterwards. My manager would always be baffled when I handed in my resignation. I would quit because I have always held an entrepreneurial mindset and these employers were serving my purpose more than I was serving theirs. Once my goals had been achieved then it was time to go! I would call this the golden rule when it comes to the world of employment and I wish that I had held this belief consistently.

I nearly got caught out during my final "job" as I didn't follow my own golden rule. I joined a large corporation at the age of 22 to gain domain experience for my business idea and also so that I could leverage borrowings against a nice salary to execute another business idea.
They placed me in a pair of splendid golden handcuffs and the golden rule went out the window.
- Every year I got a "great" bonus and pay rise.
- They paid all my pension contributions and sent me a statement every year showing how rich I'd be at 65 if I served them for another four decades.
- They lent me an awesome car.
- They let me work from home.
- They got me the latest iPhone.
- They gave me free shares every year.

If I left then I would lose the lot, suddenly my business plans didn't seem so attractive! But I'd already got plenty of domain experience and bought a house, done it up and flipped it for a tidy profit (business idea 2). So despite growing up with an entrepreneurial mindset, I had started wondering towards the slaughterhouse in the slow lane. Forsaking my own golden rule.

Thankfully in 2017 the company had a shocker but I did not, my results were great. Due to the overall group results, the company started making layoffs and therefore couldn't justify looking after its top performers. My annual pay rise was less than 2% and my bonus did not compare with my results...… I experienced the most entitled and self centred, spoilt brat F U event in existence and promptly quit at the age of 31 to pursue my original plan.

I nearly ended up as a miserable employee even though it went against everything that I believed in. It happens very easily. People would argue that this wasn't a dead end job but I would argue that it was. The speed that you drive down a dead end road doesn't change the fact that the road is dead at the end.

How do people end up in Dead End jobs at the age of 40?

They never took the first step towards their goals. They either took a step in the wrong direction or never took a step at all.

I hope that one day I can help people to take their step. But I also hope that I can empower my employees to fly the nest.

 

[Unknown]

What a freaking nightmare...

 

[Vigilante]

The whole country sympathizes with the guy Vig describes in the OP. There are political movements that shake the world built on this very story.

Almost everybody envies with the guy in the dead end $100/hr job (and most political movements attack this guy), but all that really changes is the clothes don't suck and the house and car is nicer.

Wow what a solid post. Sobering. I read your last sentence like three times. Speed+.

The nice part for readers of this forum is you are the chance to break the cycle.

 

[Vigilante]

Absolutely. We even see them here on the forum every day.

If you're not doing what you're wired for you can get away with it for a while, decades even. As we age we lose physical resiliency. I think around 40 is when your body starts to tell you in ways impossible to ignore because no longer can body and mind repair itself in spite of itself.

There's one poster on the forum I know personally.

He circled the date on the calendar, and operated on auto pilot for several months until he hit the exit date.

 

[Vigilante]

It all depends on what you want out of life.

There was another thread in which I wrote about the fat, smoking nurse who was in the same place as she was a year prior when I visited my office there.

Some people are fine with that. Some people settle. And capitalism requires it.

I got hammered for pointing out the obvious, but not everyone is going to press on to freedom.

 

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[Vigilante]

Well, you will be adding me to that list above soon enough.

There'l be another bleary eyes schmuck (just like me) finally making the connection, and you'll be telling him:

@Nicko last spotted running through the streets of Paris with no pants on, but damn, he's happy !!

That's exactly why these archived threads and progress threads are so important. Go back to the 1Peter thread. The guy is dead, but what he learned lives on. We can read his thoughts, archived here. Before you take your pants off... you record the road map here and other people who come behind us can discover how you did what you did.

Look at the @biophase ecommerce threads
Look at the @SteveO threads
Look at the @Likwid24 threads
Look at the @ChickenHawk thread
etc...

all breadcrumb maps.

 

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[Vigilante]

Those people do have the freedom of choice, and they still choose the slowlane. However, one small thing that did bother me about the book and to a certain extent is the negativity associated with traditional employment. Some people do that, and live very rich and happy lives.

Yeah, it's not for everyone. That's consistent with my point. Not everyone can pass through the eye of the needle, although MJ made the opening much larger. Some people are content to just be the workers. That's OK. Totally cool for them. No judgment necessary. There's more out there to find, but not everyone will find it. And that's what I mean when I say that the world still needs ditch diggers, also.

However, to be intellectually honest, you must pair that with surveys that tell us that 70% of people are NOT content with their lot in life, or their job/whatever. So as much as we like to raise a defense for the wall flowers, contentment with status quo does not represent the majority.

 

[Vigilante]

I printed this out, and am leaving it at the desk of someone who stomps to the clock, and wastes their life on candy crush. I think we all know someone who can use this.

Take caution to make sure you engage with compassion. Offer a hand up. Might be better as a discussion over lunch.

 

[Premixedd]

I just quit a sales job today. Place had me feeling the same as the guy described in the original post... I have been in that position far too many times, and yet I am only 25 years young. Funny because this sales job was selling what I am most passionate about, yet it still ended up bringing me back to that hollow feeling of working a dead end job. I have about $5 to my name right now, a one month old son, and a soon to be wife that relies on me as the main source of income. Am I scared? Hell yes i am, but thats what makes us or breaks us right?

Don't be afraid to take steps people, your dreams won't become reality just sitting in one spot, even if its spending your days on this computer. Get out and take some action! A good friend of mine who passed away some years ago once told me, "Do at least one thing every day that scares you."

 

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[Andy Black]

It is a lie I allowed myself to believe and delusional to think that you can recover or pay forward any lost time.

There's only going to be one third grade Christmas concert, one age 10 first soccer practice, and one first dance you get to take pre-pictures for. You don't get any do overs when you voluntarily let other things take priority over moments you can't get back.

I have two grown children. I would sacrifice nearly anything I have to be able to go back in time and make different decisions than the ones I made in their early childhood. I convinced myself I was sacrificing on their behalf – but in reality what I was sacrificing was them.

I struggled to write that last sentence.

This hurts to read again.

Please please please, if you’re reading this and have kids: Wake up! Remember why you’re doing this.

 

[Mckenzie]

Bump.

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.”
― Nassim Nicholas Taleb

 

[Andy Black]

Thank you for writing this @Vigilante

 

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[hellolin]

Well I think I'm on the right path to discover it for myself.

This year has been a total shitstorm for us and this weak I think it just reached its peak (let's hope I'm not too optimistic here).

As I said in my introduction post (almost 2 years ago, damn!) I moved back home to live with my mom and grandmother. So did my cousin.
Both our lives were in pretty bad shape at the time but we fought back. He managed to beat his addiction to alcohol and drugs, and gave up his criminal past. I've beaten my gambling addiction.
This house was always a kind of fort Alamo for our family. My mom helped other family members get back on their feat when they needed it countless times.

In marsh, my "father" sued my mom (who got divorced in 2014) to get the house and throw us out. He has a decent income and no alimony to pay to her, he's got his own place, but it's not enough for him apparently.
We'll know early november if we still have a house or if we'll be homeless, for good this time.

Business wise I've been spinning my wheels for a year. Nothing seems to pick up, probably because I have nothing more to give than what's already available out there. I tried the ebook route even though I'm a poor writer which is probably the cause of my demise. Launched a hand car-washing business for exotics and high end cars. Failed. Lawn mowing business? You guessed it. Failed. Looks like I suck at building idiot proof businesses.

I feel more like a wantrepreneur than an entrepreneur. Most of those attempts were just me trying to build myself a better job anyway.

The third major catastrophy happened this week as I was in belgium with my cousin looking for a foodtruck for sale. Milkshakes we're my next target. Yes I know... another job. Some low life idiot broke into my car and stole his tablet. No big deal I said. Let's just go signal it to the cops.

After giving our identities at the police station, they ask my cousin to follow them in an office. What's the matter I asked. "Nothing" they said, "just something to check with him, it will take a few minutes"
An hour later they come out saying they're putting him in jail. Turns out his past came back after him. He had been put on trial without even knowing and got sentenced this september to 40 months of incarceration. He told them he lived in Luxembourg with us 3 years ago but they pretended he left no address and they couldn't find him in belgium so they didn't even leave him a chance to defend himself during the trial. wtf. They'll find you in the middle of the north pole if you owe 50$ to the government but won't move their a$$ if you need to defend yourself in court.

I had to drive back 150kms (93miles) home with a broken window on my car and crying all the tears in my body. I was lost and didn't know how to announce my 85 year old grandma that she probably wouldn't see one of her grandsons for the next three years. This must have been the single hardest moment in my life.

I don't know what to do anymore. I have no debt but won't hesitate to go 30k in the red to get him out or at least get him a reduced sentence even though we lost one third of our income overnight.

The fear of ending like that guy you described chills me to the bone Vigilante. I dropped out of high-school so I've got virtually no chance to find a decent paying job unless I go back to school (even so). I'm not the smartest guy in town neither. My attempts at building a business is the stuff jokes are made of. And now I'm torn between getting in debt to save a man I consider like a brother or keep my money in case we lose our home.

I've really got to fix my mindset right now.

I'll be 29 in a few months but I feel like I just aged 20 years in a year.
I used to dream of Ferrari's, Lambo's and mustangs. Now I don't care anymore. All I want is freedom and safety for my family. They are all that matters to me.

This Al pacino speech sounds really fitting.

Tl,dr: Life is a box of chocolates.

p.s: Firstly, i'm sorry for bringing back an old thread.
Secondly I'm sorry if this post looks like i'm lamenting myself (Oh! Poor me!) but it feels good to get this off my chest.
And finally, if the bad english in this post causes sudden blindness, please for god's sake don't sue me!

Keep going bro, I am 29 as well. From the outside I look good, just graduated college with no debt, almost had a good job, but then a back surgery set me back many years that I had to move back to my Mom's place. But look at this way, we are only 29, life is still a long way to go, heck MJ didn't make his first million until like 30s or something, so we still have many chances. Just start working to get rid of your problems, little by little.

 

[Vigilante]

Not cool referring to a post in the paid section....

Just echoing the same concept in another one of my ramblings.

My daughter is at school today, and maybe sick. My wife left them my cell phone number.

If she is sick, I go pick her up. I don't have to check with anyone, tell them I am leaving, or have them use my PTO.

Pretty much all my time is PTO. I won't punch out.

 

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[Supa]

It's crazy how many employees at the company I work for seem to love their job. Behaving and talking like it's their own company.. Actually as an employer those employees are good to have, I would not want an employee like me to work for me to be honest. I do the job I am paid for, of I'm done earlier I work on my business.. But I don't understand the employees who act like their job is the most important thing in their life.

 

[Bouncing Soul]

A lot of employees think that.

Until the company sees it differently.

There's no such thing in most places as job security. It's a myth. It's a false security, wrapped in a blanket of limited income.

Soon after I left my company they laid off 200 non-manufacturing people. Almost all were highly educated, highly compensated people, who were let go only to juice short term results to sell the company. The company still actually needs them. Some of them had worked there for more than 30 years, and many are probably never going to work in tech again due to their combo of age/pay/over-specialized skills.

They did severance packages, but so what? What is 6mos of pay and a year of health insurance compared to the fact they now have to start over with perhaps totally antiquated skills and too many gray hairs for most hiring managers?

 

[Vigilante]

When I say gone, I mean gone from the box(office) I'm sitting in now.

I can literally remember a day when I was happy that I graduated to a large cubicle with a window. I had arrived.