Your looks have a major impact on your life

[Lights]

Harsh as F*CK but yet I agree. Say you're in a restaurant ordering food and you have the choice of 2 waitresses. One is not so attractive but is the nicest lady in the entire building, and the other is hot as hell but yet has the personality of a brick...who would you want serving you?

My buddies and I continually go to a pizza place and the hotter girls there are the less polite ones. I actually try to go for the ones that aren't as attractive.

Hopefully this won't be something that holds you back.

Let's be honest....
would any normal guy marry an ugly woman or a beautiful woman? (same status in life, same intelligence,
same everything)

No.... lol



and she doesn't look like that because of make up/photoshop
see her live http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCz8R25hlFI

 

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[Jamillah]

That last photo scared me.

 

[Lights]

That last photo scared me.

but she has the sweetest personality ever
....

 

[DeletedUser397]

First off, this stuck out most in your original post...

Mine: Probably a dumb girl, many "friends"... probably a golddigger

If you thought that just looking at the picture of the woman - no offense, but you should really get out more. An assumption like that says a lot about you. For all I know she could be a programmer at Google... have you seen Marissa Mayer?

No, she's not some dumb blonde golddigger... one of the first programmers at Google, and now the CEO of Yahoo. And her looks have nothing to do with it. Because if it was so, there wouldn't be so many jobless, wannabe models, actresses, and singers running around Hollywood. And if your definition of "success" is financial, then by that logic, all pornstars would have to be millionaires and billionaires, which very few are.

A ugly person can't save himself by cleaning his hair and taking some steroids. Please look at this guy, look at him! How can some grooming save him?

They've failed in life. These guys do not possess good genetics.
I expected this kind of reactions though. Social conditioning, people want to believe in a fairytale.

That is really a sad mindset. Very depressing to see you think that way. What about the special olympics? Plenty of "ugly" people - are they all damned to failure?

How have they failed? By what standards? I mean sure, they won't try to be models, but you have no clue whether they are successful or not. Again, success is super subjective. Have you ever seen Carrot Top? That guy is ugly, but famous and rich.

And as you read the rest of my post, I'm pretty sure you'll realize its probably your own preconceived notions of beauty/ugly that hold you back (or anyone for that matter thinking its a factor).

Let's take a look at this guy:


That's the famous Stephen Q. Hawking for all those who don't know.

Or this butt ugly woman:


That's Donatella Versace... yes, the brand Versace.

Besides, the examples you've given are not "ugly" they are abnormal/disfigured. When you compare average people, beauty is subjective but appearance can be improved by taking simple steps such as dressing better, improving hygeine, changing your hairstyle, etc. Confidence can play a role in your perceived looks too.

There's plenty of successful "ugly" people out there. In fact, I'd argue the richest people are uglier than anyone who is pretty/attractive and successful. And here's the richest guy on earth (Carlos Slim Helu):



Of course, it also depends how you define "success" (just as I said about beauty being subjective as well)

P.S. What's with the picture of the white/black babies at the end of your post? Seemed kind of racist... not sure what that's supposed to be implying.

 

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[JAJT]

I had severe acne during highschool. Nobody wanted to talk to me. They made fun of me, they punished me. Nothing that I could do about it.

What the hell. I'll juxtapose this. Here's me, circa high school/college:

- Acne on my face and all over my back.
- Total geek/nerd.
- Not hansom.
- All my friends were geeks/nerds.
- No muscles (120lbs until quite recently).
- Didn't learn/choose to shave until the last year of high school, I looked like an idiot.
- Had a bowl cut hairstyle until college at which point I grew shoulder-length greasy hair.
- Not popular.
- I didn't play sports and was involved in no social events.
- I wouldn't go so far as to say "teacher's pet" but I was certainly a preferred student.

How did this affect my life? Well, I've had girlfriends non-stop from the age of 15 to the time I got married at 25. My longest period of being single was I think 3-6 months, tops. I've always had friends and never had a problem making new friends. In fact, just before college I DUMPED the majority of my closest friends because they were complete assholes who didn't contribute to a positive future. I made entirely new friends rather quickly.

Do looks help in life? Yes. Are they required? No.

All it takes is an amazing attitude and confidence. Also, I learned confidence the hard way - I wasn't born with it. In fact I'm naturally very shy.

 

[splok]

You're crazy if you think looks have nothing to do with success in today's society. Sure, people can overcome difficulties and some areas (like entrepreneurship) are much more accessible to people who aren't physically attractive, but grabbing a few outliers as examples is pointless. The real question would be something more like, "On average, is net worth strongly correlated with attractiveness?"

Consider two things: First, people who are socially conscious enough to optimize their attractiveness (whatever the base level) are likey to benefit from that awareness in many ways (at least in your traditional job environment), especially when directly compared to people who don't care how they look. Second, everyone here should know the difference that confidence can make. Now consider the difference in perspective growing up as very attractive might have compared to it's opposite.

Even if attractiveness is secondary, it is still heavily involved in one's success on average.

 

[theDarkness]

Here's the thing, though: features like height, weight, race, etc. don't have an effect on your chances for 'extraordinary' success; just on your chances for 'ordinary' success.

Love that way of putting it. The effect of looks in social interaction is so superficial that spending any time dwelling on it is just a waste of time. It's just an excuse.

Your looks might make it harder to get your "foot in the door," whether it's dating or whatever else. But once you've got that foot wedged in there, it's all on you. Someone who thinks looks are everything won't engage the other person at this point--because they think they're doomed by their looks--and they wind up wondering why everyone ignores them, or prefers not to hang out with them, or won't sleep with them, whatever.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Not sure if this is relevant to the conversation but...

I just bought a lot of stuff on Amazon. The purchase was through an Amazon Seller Account.

The person behind the company who received my $253.03?

I have no clue what he looks like.

He could have had 1 eye and a broomstick for a leg -- he still received my $253.03 because he offered stuff I wanted.

 

[Kak]

Not sure if this is relevant to the conversation but...

I just bought a lot of stuff on Amazon. The purchase was through an Amazon Seller Account.

The person behind the company who received my $253.03?

I have no clue what he looks like.

He could have had 1 eye and a broomstick for a leg -- he still received my $253.03 because he offered stuff I wanted.

LMAO nice

 

[Silverhawk851]

Not only is your thinking demeaning and potentially massively destructive to your own life, you are destroying other people's self esteem who are on the fence to begin with. Stop questioning your looks and play with the cards you were dealt.

Think of it like this.. Can you change it? NO. So why worry about it?
if YES, then do it and stop worrying about it.

Life is short you only have 700,000 minutes in your life your going to die soon.

do you want to have spent all of that crying about your looks or doing the things you want?
A life wasted on self-hate and being bitter, or enjoying every last bit living up to the fullest travelling the world meeting new people achieveing goals?


Make your choice, I've made mine.

 

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[machin576]

I have no clue what he looks like.

He could have had 1 eye and a broomstick for a leg -- he still received my $253.03 because he offered stuff I wanted.

MJ nailed it. The internet completely levels the playing field.

This thread is pathetic.

 

[EN_VY]

Wow, what a sad mentality.

 

[Mike39]

Watch out the ugly people are getting defensive :smilielol: (I kid, I kid)

 

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[socaldude]

MJ hit it out of the ball park. How are looks a prerequisite to inflicting Value on society?

This centers around one of the paramount principles of The Fastlane: The Universe does not give a shit.

The Universe doesn't give a shit that you have witch nose, its doesn't care that you only have one tooth, it doesn't care what you find boring or fun, it doesn't care that you didn't roll with the popular crowd in high school! WHO CARES!

 

[rc08234]

Yep, it's true.

People treat you differently depending on how you look.

Height, facial symmetry, skin color, voice, weight, blemishes... all of these things have an impact.

My height has had the biggest impact on my life, more so than my race, weight, or facial appearance. I'm somewhere between 5'7 and 5'8 depending on whether it's a good day or not. I've not only been made fun of, but I've been downright disrespected. A lot of girls *say that they* have a height requirement of who they would date, and I'm always beneath it (they actually don't have a hard-and-fast rule: they, much like men, only say that they do to keep the appearance of having standards; I would learn this later in adolescence). Guys don't look at me with the same kind of respect as they do tall people, or even people of so-called 'average' height.

Here's the thing, though: features like height, weight, race, etc. don't have an effect on your chances for 'extraordinary' success; just on your chances for 'ordinary' success. A black person will have a harder time finding a good job than a white person. That's just a fact. However, a black person will not have a harder time establishing a successful business than a white person. Their chances are both equally near 0%.

Looks should never be an excuse. Neither should injuries or disabilities. Yes, there are some things you just can't do if you're in certain situations. But it doesn't take very long to figure out what they are. Go after worthy goals.

Lol bro, I feel you! Try being 5'7 and being a bouncer!! You know how much shit I take??? Girls give me shit all the time for being short, half the time I still [REMOVED BY MOD] It's a shit test, they give you shit and if you throw it back at them you get the nookie. Most of the time I'll say something like oh yeah? well blondes arnt really my type anyway or something like that.

 

[Determined2012]

Looks do have a big impact on people's lives- maybe not in terms of creating value for others or generating revenue, but it surely surely without fail impacts the way other people assess you, treat you, interact with you, and think of you. Everyone, especially women are greatly impacted by the way we look. Starting from our hair, to our lips, to our breasts, to our butts, to the size of our feet (smaller sized feet being considered feminine opposed to big feet).

The way people dress, and the way people groom themselves all play a major part in how we are treated by others. Anyone who doesn't think so is extremely fortunate.

Money and business might not care about how you look but PEOPLE sure do.

This is overly confirmed by the exorbitant amounts of money spent yearly on beauty products and plastic surgery---

 

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[splok]

http://www.gladwell.com/blink/blink_excerpt2.html
In the U.S. population, about 14.5 percent of all men are six feet or over. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is 58 percent.

Sure, challenges can be overcome and there are always exceptions. And sure, no one cares what the person selling stuff on the internet looks like. However, most people still work at jobs where face-to-face interaction with someone is required.

Also, even the exceptions listed aren't really exceptions. They're just areas where different things are important. When you're buying something online, do you think a company might lose sales because of a website that's visibly terrible but functions properly? If you're selling by phone, don't you think that a person's voice matters? When you're dealing with people in-person, appearance matters.

I find it almost literally unbelievable that some people can think that physical attributes don't seriously affect the average human's life experience. Maybe you find the concept distasteful or unfortunate, but to think that it isn't true? I just don't buy it.

 

[Lights]

Beauty matters. Anytime you interact with a human being, your beauty is being analyze.

or looks...

 

[Brander]

put on some skin medication to smooth it out

Care to share?

 

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[Lights]

Care to share?

I'm not a dermatologist.

But he could get Retin A 0.5% to start with, it looks like he has a lot of sun damage to give his leather skin appearance... so I recommend fraxel laser (2 sessions). 3 sessions can cost about 1.5 k

If he's on a budget then buy some TCA chemical peel online at only 25% to start with, and after 3 months of retin a usage. TCA peel can be purchase at $50

He must be on sunscreen, and ideally everyone should use Zinc oxide sunscreen because all the other sunscreens are made from chemicals which causes free radical (which promotes aging).

But I can't tell. I need a bigger picture. Retin A and sunscreen could be all that he needs.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

--- OFFTOPIC

There are a lot of young men on this forum and I just want to remind you, this is a BUSINESS FORUM, not a bar stool at the club.

Please refrain from derogatory statements and have some respect for the ladies that are here.

Thank you.

 

[2KidsinUT]

No doubt beautiful looks are valuable in the offline world... but solid self confidence commands respect in any situation, especially in that first 30 seconds that someone is sizing you up for the first time.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

As I see young guys here, below the age of 25 having to say something about their height,
I just have to drop in these 2 cents:

- Some of you may know I'm into the whole attraction/seduction thing
(planning to do dating coaching at some point), so after extensive research
and all the experience I can tell you one thing - ladies DO appreciate height,
and it CAN make or break your chances with particular lady.

And please ladies on the forum be welcome to comment on my claim.

There are exceptions of course, but generally it's much much better to be taller,
and for many girls you'll be invisible as a potential partner if you're shorter than
them, or even shorter than them in heels.

Why? Well they like to feel feminine, they like to feel you're stronger,
and they want to feel secure and protected. No hard feelings, but that's just
what it is.

So yeah, you can compensate for it with strong aura, personality
and strong body. And also a tall guy can mess his advantage by being goofy/weak.

You sure can get girls taller than you, but your starting position will be better
if you are taller, that's all I'm saying.

- To the young guys (this is just my personal opinion): If you feel bothered by
your height (lack of it), do something about it! It's nice and great to accept yourself,
but if something bothers you and you CAN change it, DO IT. Because while you're young,
you can still grow naturally, so there's a TON of stuff you can do to become taller.

Exercise, nutrition and medical treatments are available, so if you're young and
bothered by it, go do something. You can ignore the facts but they still will be facts.

Ask any girl about the looks of her dream man, one of the features will be "tall"

This is such a pain point for many guys that internet is overloaded with various
"miracle" products, and you know what? Many older guys who can't grow anymore
naturally - go to a super painful and super risky procedure where their bones are
broken and regrown. Crazy! So do something about it while you're young.

This may not be the most popular post, but I have seen time and again shorter
guys being ignored by girls, bullied or just treated with less respect, so this is
post to hopefully help them out.

You'll also find many short guys in the gym bulking up to make up for it,
and some are very successful at it and get their respect.

Please anyone, don't be offended, this is just your invisible friend telling it
like it is, and trying to give helpful advice.

 

[Layna]

I don't know if this is the first thing I should post on and I definitely don't know about the height treatments, but this is an interest of mine, so here goes.

I can say that sociology studies confirm Dutchman's concerns - my core biology class addressed that and I've been mindful of it since. I've even had work done (a tendon in my eyelid shortened so my eyes are even). For me, it helped me have more confidence and increased my happiness for a year or two, but now it's my normal and I take it for granted. Basically it didn't make as big of a difference as I expected, but who knows? Maybe my life has been a little more successful as a result.

From what I've seen, I'm convinced careful grooming has an equal effect to natural beauty, and confidence trumps height. Seriously, confidence is as appealing as looks and success is the best precursor to confidence. Hopefully being here will help you find that success - so go forth and conquer! ;-)

Layna

 

[theDarkness]

Sure, challenges can be overcome and there are always exceptions. And sure, no one cares what the person selling stuff on the internet looks like. However, most people still work at jobs where face-to-face interaction with someone is required.

Also, even the exceptions listed aren't really exceptions. They're just areas where different things are important. When you're buying something online, do you think a company might lose sales because of a website that's visibly terrible but functions properly? If you're selling by phone, don't you think that a person's voice matters? When you're dealing with people in-person, appearance matters.

I find it almost literally unbelievable that some people can think that physical attributes don't seriously affect the average human's life experience. Maybe you find the concept distasteful or unfortunate, but to think that it isn't true? I just don't buy it.

It's not that it flat-out doesn't matter at all. It's just that 1) past a certain degree of grooming/hygiene/dressing well, it's not really something that can really be controlled, and so it is a massive waste of time to fret about it. And then 2), the degree to which it matters is oftentimes almost trivial. Most often those who whine about how much it matters are throwing themselves a pity-party and creating excuses for themselves.

E.g., let's just say that you are uglier than sin. Is there anything that your looks will prevent you from doing that you will regret not having done on the day you die? Really? Maybe you'll never turn heads when you walk into an establishment, or maybe your first impressions will routinely be dismal and people will initially disrespect you for that, but what major goal in life is that preventing? The goal of being 100% loved and admired by everyone everywhere at all times?

 

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[InMotion]

- To the young guys (this is just my personal opinion): If you feel bothered by
your height (lack of it), do something about it!

I would just approach shorter women....lots of petites out there.

 

[Gsuz]

- To the young guys (this is just my personal opinion): If you feel bothered by
your height (lack of it), do something about it! It's nice and great to accept yourself,
but if something bothers you and you CAN change it, DO IT. Because while you're young,
you can still grow naturally, so there's a TON of stuff you can do to become taller.

Exercise, nutrition and medical treatments are available, so if you're young and
bothered by it, go do something. You can ignore the facts but they still will be facts.

Thanks for your post!
It contains a lot of truth and I made the same experiences regarding height and women. The passage quoted above caught my attention. I'm not really small, 175 cm, but I would like to be a bit taller to be honest and seeing that I'm relatively young, 21 years, I was wondering if you could elaborate a bit on that? Or am I too old already? I was not aware of the existence of tons of stuff to do to become taller and this sounds kind of interesting. Do you have personal experience with this? 5 cm or so would be enough. My height does not really bother me, but if there are ways to gain an extra bit, why not?

 

[Lights]

Be 5'7 and taller, and you're gold for me. Just don't be smaller than me, or else I'll feel like a fat pig.

What confuses me when there's fat obese women or ugly women who have expectations on men. Puh-leeeaze you're lucky you even get a date, so appreciate anyone you get.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

I would just approach shorter women....lots of petites out there.

Funny thing is many of them adore taller man. Yeah they look silly together, but short girls love tall guys.

The passage quoted above caught my attention. I'm not really small, 175 cm, but I would like to be a bit taller to be honest and seeing that I'm relatively young, 21 years, I was wondering if you could elaborate a bit on that? Or am I too old already? I was not aware of the existence of tons of stuff to do to become taller and this sounds kind of interesting. Do you have personal experience with this?

Hi, thanks. No personal experience.

I couldn't give specific advice as I'm not qualified nor experienced with it, it would be best to consult a doctor.

As for workout, people say swimming and all sorts of stretching helps. As for nutrition, well, in order to grow
you need to eat properly, and as for medical treatments, there are treatments with growth hormone, and
also by giving your body a great combination of workout/nutrition/sleep you can stimulate production of your
own growth hormone.

Sorry for keeping this super-vague, for any actual advice, and before any action, definitely consult your doctor.
If you look on the internet you'll find a bunch of products and stuff, but don't buy into that.

 

[splok]

It's not that it flat-out doesn't matter at all. It's just that 1) past a certain degree of grooming/hygiene/dressing well, it's not really something that can really be controlled, and so it is a massive waste of time to fret about it. And then 2), the degree to which it matters is oftentimes almost trivial. Most often those who whine about how much it matters are throwing themselves a pity-party and creating excuses for themselves.

I completely agree with #1. It's about making the best of what you have, but so many people don't even bother to do that. A lot of people think looks "shouldn't" matter but end up behaving as if they "don't" matter. It's not about pity and excuses. It's about realizing the reality of a situation and doing what you can to make the best of it.

My problem with #2 is that you'll never really know how much it matters. It's one of those things that affects you throughout your life in 1000 different ways that you don't even notice. Look at the CEO numbers that I posted above. The cumulative effect of a few decades of being the short guy, the tall guy, or the mostly average guy (or whatever you are) has probably affected your life in some pretty dramatic ways.