Why do we focus on the 1 negative thing?

[Tommy92l]

I heard someone say that - If you walk into a room and look at the ceiling, there could only be one tile out of place, and that's the one you focus on the entire time.

Or something like that.

Why is it, that when we receive tons and tons of great comments and support, we focus on the one negative one?

 

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[Dom117]

Because the negative one will ultimately make you more money than the positive ones?
No, I guess it's a numbers thing, if all you recieve is negative and then 1 positive comes up, you will focus on the positive one.

 

[AroundTheWorld]

I recently read a book: The Whole-Brain Child - 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind.

While the intended audience is people that work with children on a regular basis, it is actually a great read for any human....

It talks about what is actually happening in your brain when you focus on something, or when an event happens. There is something in there about "synapses that fire together stay together" or something along those lines. AND, every time a synapses fires, you are strengthening that portion of your brain.... (making the association / memory / thought actually, physically, stronger in your brain)

When you hear, "what you focus on grows" it is quite literally very true. When you focus on something, you are making the synapses fire in your brain associated with that thought or memory, and that is actually becoming stronger in your brain.

The great thing about the human mind / human psyche is self awareness.

You think something or focus on something
You become aware that you are thinking it or focusing on it
You CAN CHANGE what you think about or focus on!

AWESOME!

 

[tincho1492]

I'm reading a book called 'The Carisma Myth' and one of the things it talk about is how to handle negative thoughts.

1. Destigmatize. Understand that we all have negative thoughts from to time. Imagine all the people in the world (including those you admire) having this exact feeling at this very moment.

2. Neutralize. What you're thinking may be not necessarily true. It's just a thought.

3. Rewrite Reality. If you're feeling angry at someone, try to imagine possible scenarios of why he/she is behaving in that way.

Hope it helps.

 

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[tafy]

I watched a program about how dogs became to look so different and theres something in it about how the human brain works and that people would choose the one pup in the litter that looks unique or different. Sounds weird right? People are striving to be different and will focus on the thing that is different.

You say focus on the negative but its not true, people focus on the exception or on whats different. Like a bunch of stars you would focus on the brightest, girls you focus on the prettiest, puppies you focus on the black pup from a litter of white puppies. It also works on negative like you said, you notice the broken tile, a small stain on someones white t-shirt etc

 

[beatgoezon]

I could be due to our need for perfection.

When you're new to criticism, you usually end up taking things personally. You just have to get used to focusing on the good things and ignoring the bad ones.

Learn to accept that all people won't appreciate what you create. All that matters is that you're getting better and you're actually doing something worth while. Appreciate the imperfection...