Whats the Best Place on Earth for Self Improvement ?

[BetterWays]

My situation in life:

Positive:

-made enough money to support my lifestyle for the next 10 years
-22 years old
-traveled the world the past 3 years
-working out in the gym regularly, doing sports like martial arts
-handling business online, takes very little time while making good profits
-not afraid to go anywhere in this world , have no ties



Negative:

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)
-feelings of hate , sadness and revenge took over my mind the past 1.5 years
-feel triggered easily/ very aggressive /hateful
-feel like people want to harm me
-lacking confidence
-dont know where I belong to in this world
-dull/uninterested towards engaging with society, rather sit in front
of computer
-little interest to talk to people
-very little contact to family, basically raised myself cause parents are clueless
about life, worker drones


Conclusion :

it feels like I neglected my social/self development the past years
social awareness/intelligence , confidence everything related to this topic...
making good money with my business online is great but it did not change
me as a person.
I need to change the way I think about myself and get over mental issues,
I became more aware of my negative thinking patterns the past weeks...


Question:

what are the most beneficial things/activities in this world you would
recommend to a person who is seeking self acceptance/confidence... ,
personal growth in any type of way?

 

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[Young-Gun]

"Anywhere you go, there you are."

The outside surroundings don't matter.

I've learned a lot of tricks to deal with anxiety and panic attacks, which started in my late 20s.
It's different from you, but similar idea - your mind and ego are struggling with each other, for whatever reason.

Try silent meditation for 5 minutes at a time to start. Your only goal is to PREVENT THOUGHT for 5 minutes. Every time you have a thought, simply observe the thought from afar, then let it go. Empty your mind. Realize that "YOU" are not "your mind."
In fact, "your mind" is NOT under your control right now.
Surprising, but true.

This exercise will be VERY uncomfortable at first, but it will help you immensely.
5 minutes a day, every day, for 3 weeks. Come back and let me know how it feels.

Just know that your mind will put up every obstacle you can image, to prevent you from actually meditating.
Your mind doesn't want you to lose this suffering.

You'll tell yourself, "This is boring." "This is a waste of time." "This won't help me." "Meditation is stupid." "This is hippy shit." "What's the point."

Push past, and try the meditation exercise. Give it 3 weeks and let us know how it goes.

 

[BetterWays]

"Anywhere you go, there you are."

The outside surroundings don't matter.

I've learned a lot of tricks to deal with anxiety and panic attacks, which started in my late 20s.
It's different from you, but similar idea - your mind and ego are struggling with each other, for whatever reason.

Try silent meditation for 5 minutes at a time to start. Your only goal is to PREVENT THOUGHT for 5 minutes. Every time you have a thought, simply observe the thought from afar, then let it go. Empty your mind. Realize that "YOU" are not "your mind."
In fact, "your mind" is NOT under your control right now.
Surprising, but true.

This exercise will be VERY uncomfortable at first, but it will help you immensely.
5 minutes a day, every day, for 3 weeks. Come back and let me know how it feels.

Just know that your mind will put up every obstacle you can image, to prevent you from actually meditating.
Your mind doesn't want you to lose this suffering.

You'll tell yourself, "This is boring." "This is a waste of time." "This won't help me." "Meditation is stupid." "This is hippy shit." "What's the point."

Push past, and try the meditation exercise. Give it 3 weeks and let us know how it goes.

thx

'Anywhere you go, there you are'

I prefer living in a nice place with good people over a shithole with lots of crime,
this would influence my desire to go out and do stuff but I understand what you are trying to say.


yes I started meditation again a month ago but not regularly, most of the time between 5 to 20 mins
but I did not see a difference once I stood up and went out.

maybe it needs more time and discipline to see results..?

 

[JamesDB]

It's true you can only find peace within yourself but being in a sunny place surfing and focusing on yourself might help a bit more than being in NYC and partying hard all day long.
While meditation helps, you also need to know and understand yourself, what's your purpose in life, what are you living for. If you don't know who you are and what you are living for, you can be a billionaire but still a side walker of life.
It might be not a topic for the public, pm me if you really want to work on youself.

 

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[QueueQueue]

Push past, and try the meditation exercise. Give it 3 weeks and let us know how it goes.

I have to second meditation. During my early 20's I used to be a more anxious person and had a lot of issues with insomnia (I used to dread going to bed knowing I would be up all night with a busy mind). I got into meditation and ever since then I rarely have problems falling asleep (even when I go long periods without actual meditation). I, in general, am able to quiet my mind better in times where my mind is busy and have a general better sense of well-being. I have always been really into self-improvement, and aside from working out consistently, meditation has had the biggest impact. Highly recommend. I was skeptical at first, as it seems liked BS spiritual nonsense, especially back then before it was becoming more main stream and heavily studied scientifically. Now, I am a strong advocate for it. Just do it for 5 minutes a day. Look up "5 minute guided meditation" on YouTube and you will find tonnes of stuff to get started with.

 

[Mattie]

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)
-feelings of hate , sadness and revenge took over my mind the past 1.5 years
-feel triggered easily/ very aggressive /hateful
-feel like people want to harm me
-lacking confidence
-dont know where I belong to in this world
-dull/uninterested towards engaging with society, rather sit in front
of computer
-little interest to talk to people
-very little contact to family, basically raised myself cause parents are clueless
about life, worker drones

This is easy to do with various tools, it just depends on what works for you. If you're an Entrepreneur you will learn these skills in whatever you do. It pushes you to face every emotion, feeling, thought, and fear. It will trigger every inner wound from childhood and past romantic relationships. When you have you conquer your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, you can conquer just about anything in the world. There are plenty of threads already in the forum that cover books, videos, and experiences with other Entrepreneurs. Take the time to use the forum search, and sift through different threads.

 

[Waspy]

The monasteries in Tibet.

Coming back as a vigilante superhero is optional.

 

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[paulyh]

Here are my two cents. Try visiting / moving to somewhere like a surf town, ski town, rock climbing zone, mountain biking area etc for a while. Why I say this is that the people who live there, do so for a purpose other than earning a living or thay they were born there. They live there to pursue their chosen passion surrounded by like minded people. This attracts a certain type of person generally, who has left the worker drone / conformist life to have fun. It sounds to me that what you need most right now is to have fun! Don't be so serious. You have the huge advantage of an independent income stream to allow you to goof off for awhile. Learn a new sport or refine an existing one in one of these places. People are usually happy to share their passions. Of course there are always some cliques and dooche bags around but what else is new. Get out in nature, go hiking, get as far away from the city as you can. You will find that meditation and healing will come more easily when you remove yourself from existing patterns and habits. Yes, in the end you are stuck with yourself and changing your location will not solve the problems in your mind; but it cant hurt.

As a side note, try teaching a few people you meet how to earn money online. They will most certainly help you out in return.

Extreme brain hack: Take some LSD. The ego cannot survive a good trip down the rabbit hole.

Cheers

 

[jsk29]

-lacking confidence

Also, most of my friends who were depressed were in that state because they weren't taking action on what they truly wanted out of life.

But if you're accomplishing what you've wanted and still feeling like crap I recommend seeking professional help.

I've realized clinical depression isn't a matter of "manning up" and it's a serious condition.

 

[Harti]

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)
-feelings of hate , sadness and revenge took over my mind the past 1.5 years
-feel triggered easily/ very aggressive /hateful
-feel like people want to harm me
-lacking confidence
-dont know where I belong to in this world
-dull/uninterested towards engaging with society, rather sit in front
of computer
-little interest to talk to people
-very little contact to family, basically raised myself cause parents are clueless
about life, worker drones

These are all emotional issues. Here are 3 excellent resources, all of them help you remove those. See what resonates most with you:

Michael Brown - The Presence Process (very spiritually oriented)
David R. Hawkins - Letting Go (spiritually oriented, scientific concepts and language)
Douglas J. Tataryn - The Bio-Emotive Framework (pure science)

You might want to observe your wish to running away from your current circumstances. This is understandable yet nothing but a fruitless attempt to run away from your feelings. Once you treat those, you're going to feel peaceful, independently of your environment.

Congrats on your success so far!

Best,
Harti

 

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[AFMKelvin]

My situation in life:

Positive:

-made enough money to support my lifestyle for the next 10 years
-22 years old
-traveled the world the past 3 years
-working out in the gym regularly, doing sports like martial arts
-handling business online, takes very little time while making good profits
-not afraid to go anywhere in this world , have no ties



Negative:

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)
-feelings of hate , sadness and revenge took over my mind the past 1.5 years
-feel triggered easily/ very aggressive /hateful
-feel like people want to harm me
-lacking confidence
-dont know where I belong to in this world
-dull/uninterested towards engaging with society, rather sit in front
of computer
-little interest to talk to people
-very little contact to family, basically raised myself cause parents are clueless
about life, worker drones


Conclusion :

it feels like I neglected my social/self development the past years
social awareness/intelligence , confidence everything related to this topic...
making good money with my business online is great but it did not change
me as a person.
I need to change the way I think about myself and get over mental issues,
I became more aware of my negative thinking patterns the past weeks...


Question:

what are the most beneficial things/activities in this world you would
recommend to a person who is seeking self acceptance/confidence... ,
personal growth in any type of way?

I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have my own income stream but I just can't seem to want to be around people.

So here are some things that help me in dealing with myself.

As already mentioned meditation works and so does working out.

Secondly surround yourself with life. Buy some plants and water them everyday. Get a dog and take care of it. That way you feel like you are needed by another living being.

Thirdly get off any drugs that includes coffee and sugar. Do your best to reduce the amount you consume of each, until you no longer use them.

Fourth step is to stop masturbating to porn if you do. Porn disrupts your dopamine receptors. Don't stop completely but gradually.

Fifth learn to forgive people. We have all have felt betrayed at one point or another. People don't mean to hurt you they just do things selfishly. When they do harm they are thinking about themselves not personally as a way to harm you. It just seems that way from your perspective.

Lastly find your passion. Sign up on meetup.com and find groups to be a part of. You already have enough money to live a comfortable life. So now live a passionate life.

 

[StompingAcorns]

Kudos for your realizations. That's the hard part.

You've got an awful lot of positives - what's stopping you from deciding what life you want to create and then going for it?

As to your question: search Youtube for binaural beats, or look at Centerpointe's Holosync. It's much easier than meditation, with faster results. I also highly recommend their course, Life Principles Integration Process. (No affiliation - simply a big fan!) They will teach you how to stop thinking about what you don't want and start thinking about what you do want. I believe their approach works well for highly analytical minds like yours and mine.

Good luck!

 

[MetalGear]

Check out the Insight Timer app, it is free and will walk you through guided meditations. The Power of Now is also a great book. Everyone has their self interest at heart in one way or another, and so do you. However, not everyone is malicious and it is important to remember that.

 

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[Mac]

Read Be Here Now by Ram Dass

 

[RayofLight00]

Hey brother, hope all is well. Courageous thread, thanks for creating it.

Brother, I feel you on some of those negative emotions because I've been there. With dedication and being learned you can step back from your emotions and truly analyze your self and the root cause of why your experiencing the things you have.

Don't talk to your parents? Why not? Mom and dads are seldom perfect but that's no reason to keep them at a distance. That's the only mom and dad you'll ever have! No interest in society? Try buying a meal for a less fortunate person or even an acquaintance. Hope that warm feeling inside sparks interest.

You have a lot to give friend, don't let it all evaporate by keeping to yourself. Invited to a party/event but refuse to go? Challenge your self by going anyway. Great for confidence and mental toughness. Simply deciding to raise your hand at someone passing your way is an amazing first step towards smashing some mental barriers you have.

As your brothers in fastlane have mentioned, nature and having a pet CAN really do wonders. I've had seven dogs, a cat, parakeet and a monkey. Believe me, a dog would lay down its life for you if need be. Trust in animals brethren. Then, when your more open, trust in people.

To answer your question, I would recommend you sit somewhere real quiet, preferably in the solitude/quiet part of a forest/park/beach and ask yourself: 'What kind of person do I want to be? Will these feelings of fear serve or hinder me? Will these negatives define the real me?'.

You are what you choose to be brethren, don't let situations or past affairs stop you from becoming the best possible human being you were meant to be. Give your best, you'll get back the best.

Thanks for allowing me to share bro. Here are some book recommendations:

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh

Peace

 

[Sanj Modha]

Inside your head. Conquer your mind and you will conquer your world.

 

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[Chef]

yes I started meditation again a month ago but not regularly, most of the time between 5 to 20 mins
but I did not see a difference once I stood up and went out.

maybe it needs more time and discipline to see results..?

My friend, meditation is all about finding peace in this day to day life. Relaxing to a point where your mind's volume is dramatically decreased, the voice that was once there doesn't bother you any more. All you have is your other senses, you feel your breath, you hear sounds, you FEEL your surroundings and overall you are put in a state of pure bliss. In fact you quite quickly learn how to shift gears when your brain starts running on gibberish mode, you begin to be aware of this very moment and if you're gonna start watching yourself getting more into meditation, dealing with those moments becomes easy as auto-pilot.

Meditation is relaxation! Best wishes!

 

[MitchM]

"Anywhere you go, there you are."

The outside surroundings don't matter.

I've learned a lot of tricks to deal with anxiety and panic attacks, which started in my late 20s.
It's different from you, but similar idea - your mind and ego are struggling with each other, for whatever reason.

Try silent meditation for 5 minutes at a time to start. Your only goal is to PREVENT THOUGHT for 5 minutes. Every time you have a thought, simply observe the thought from afar, then let it go. Empty your mind. Realize that "YOU" are not "your mind."
In fact, "your mind" is NOT under your control right now.
Surprising, but true.

This exercise will be VERY uncomfortable at first, but it will help you immensely.
5 minutes a day, every day, for 3 weeks. Come back and let me know how it feels.

Just know that your mind will put up every obstacle you can image, to prevent you from actually meditating.
Your mind doesn't want you to lose this suffering.

You'll tell yourself, "This is boring." "This is a waste of time." "This won't help me." "Meditation is stupid." "This is hippy shit." "What's the point."

Push past, and try the meditation exercise. Give it 3 weeks and let us know how it goes.

Good advice as far as meditation goes. I find it interesting that you said "'YOU' are not 'your mind.'" I would disagree with this in the sense that you are "your" mind, just not only a mind. I put "your" in quotation marks because of one fundamental fact: the "you" that you feel is controlling your thoughts is just another thought that bubbles up within the mind. It is actually a pattern of thinking that arises over time due to the way that the mind assimilates feedback.

Essentially, it is because the "you" that attempts to control thoughts is one of the very thoughts that you are trying to control that you have no power over them. I may not be explaining this clearly, but I highly recommend checking out Become What You Are, The Wisdom of Insecurity, and the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts. These books were extremely beneficial to me in my personal development during my teenage years.

 

[MitchM]

My situation in life:

Positive:

-made enough money to support my lifestyle for the next 10 years
-22 years old
-traveled the world the past 3 years
-working out in the gym regularly, doing sports like martial arts
-handling business online, takes very little time while making good profits
-not afraid to go anywhere in this world , have no ties



Negative:

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)
-feelings of hate , sadness and revenge took over my mind the past 1.5 years
-feel triggered easily/ very aggressive /hateful
-feel like people want to harm me
-lacking confidence
-dont know where I belong to in this world
-dull/uninterested towards engaging with society, rather sit in front
of computer
-little interest to talk to people
-very little contact to family, basically raised myself cause parents are clueless
about life, worker drones


Conclusion :

it feels like I neglected my social/self development the past years
social awareness/intelligence , confidence everything related to this topic...
making good money with my business online is great but it did not change
me as a person.
I need to change the way I think about myself and get over mental issues,
I became more aware of my negative thinking patterns the past weeks...


Question:

what are the most beneficial things/activities in this world you would
recommend to a person who is seeking self acceptance/confidence... ,
personal growth in any type of way?

It's interesting reading your post, as I am 21 and basically the inverse of your situation. I have had no real success with making money (yet), but I do feel that I am on my way.

Don't feel run down by the fact that you are not "spiritually" or socially developed. You've created a situation for yourself that will allow you to put your focus where it counts. For me, I have always been very social and interested in philosophy, so this is an area that I feel capable of giving solid advice.

RSD, or Real Social Dynamics, is a fantastic place to start. Sure, they teach pickup, but the content over the last two years has really moved beyond that. Instead of finding tricks to manipulate girls into sleeping with them, what RSD Tyler has really spearheaded is "inner game," which allows you to become a person capable of getting women without canned lines or anything of that nature. What is interesting is how much of a journey it really is to develop inner game. It requires a lot of action taking and a lot of feedback and letting go.

A lot of negativity often exists as a coping mechanism, or sometimes it can just be learned patterns of thinking that over time you become more and more entrenched in. Thankfully, you are only 22 so you can put all of this behind you before long.

RSD Tyler, Julien, and Max are all great people to pay attention to. Also, check out books by Alan Watts and maybe Ekhart Tolle if his jargon doesn't bother you.

This may be a good video to start with:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OVZ9xk1B-o


I just picked it by title as it has been a while since I've seen it and have watched all of his videos. Anyways, I hope that is a good starting point and if you enjoy it check out more of his videos that are related to your circumstance. Also, don't be turned off by some of the click-baity titles. He does it on purpose and openly admits it. PM me if you want to talk, I'm sure we could both teach eachother something!

 

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[RyHi]

Keep in mind that at 22 your pre-frontal cortex is still developing. Some of this may gradually fade away with that growth.

As far as meditation, consider a device like Muse. It can help you improve meditation and derive benefit from it.

Another thing might be to take a missions trip or some similar trip where you spend time just helping others in need. Helping others is one of the best ways to get out of the downward spiral of focusing on self alone (which tends to lead to depression).

Sent from my LG-H918 using Tapatalk

 

[Limitless4Life]

Don't 'should' on yourself or others (pun intended) and accept reality/others for what it is, not how you wish it to be. Who are you to determine the way things 'should be' anyway? You're not a god.

Bonus: if you have a ton of negative thoughts in your head, transfer them out of your head onto paper. Throw it in the trash and go about your day. Rinse and repeat.

 

[AndrewNC]

I have a paid marketplace advertisement on this forum where I will take care of all these issues for you. If you are seriously interested in solving these things...my email can be found on that thread here. Normally I don't like to plug myself on threads outside of the marketplace, but I am doing this because you are obviously struggling and I'm confident that I can help with everything you listed. Reading books or reading around for this stuff will take years (if you ever find an answer). Based on what you said, it will take more than a single session, so my email is there if you're interested.

-lost trust towards people, have negative attitude towards society
(bad business partners made me lose trust in people, serious stuff happened..
incredible stressful)

Ask yourself this question: In the time before these events happened, you had a different outlook on trust, didn't you? The trust levels you have for the world are not absolute and it was some event in your life which triggered this (business partner, serious stuff, etc.).

Your unconscious mind keeps a perfect recollection of every memory and emotion which you have ever experienced in your entire life. In your example, when your business partners did something to you, there was an emotional imprint/scar left in your subconscious.


Now, whenever you're about to face a circumstance that reminds you (in any way) of a time where you have to trust people, you feel this emotion and it blocks you.

The important thing to understand is that it's not the circumstances which are the problem - it's important to do due diligence, etc. - but it's the emotions you feel which cause you this struggle. There will come many times in the future where this lack of trust will hold you back from not only feeling how you want to feel, but also it will limit some potential opportunities you may miss out on in business/relationships/etc.

The good news...

There is a reset switch.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with computer servers or not.

Basically, once a week I create a backup of all my files on my website. This way, if my website gets hacked, I can go to the backup files, upload those to my server, and my website will be in the perfect condition it was in before the hack.

Your mind/emotions are the same way and every instance of your life, you can get to that reset so you're good as new.

In the time before the Significant Emotional Event happened, you were in the mental/emotional state where this was not a problem (See image above).

So how do we get you there?

Step 1 - Elicit Your Timeline

In your unconscious mind, time is not real, and it is always the present moment. The only way we tell the difference between past and future is how we store our memories on your timeline.



There are two common timelines:

1. Your past is behind you and your future is in front of you.
2. Your past is to your left and your future is to your right.

• Past - To begin, think of something that happened in the past (1 week-3 months ago). Something that is easy to remember and you have a clear picture of that event. When you think of where this memory is stored, do you feel/see it coming from behind you? From the left? Or somewhere else?
• Future - Next, think of an event in your future. Something you'll do next week or next month. When you bring up a picture in your imagination, is that memory storied in front of you? To the right? Or somewhere else?

Step 2 - Think of the unwanted emotion or problem.

If this is your first time doing this exercise, think of something small (if the thought of the event will bring up a lot of emotions, don't do this on your own).

Step 3 - Float Up Above Your Timeline

Imagine floating up above yourself, looking down at where you are right now. When you have a pretty clear picture of this, imagine floating all the way back in time to whatever event was the root cause of this problem.

The important thing to understand here is this: Your unconscious mind thinks in pictures and symbols. DO NOT try to "think" of the event. Instead, allow yourself to float over whatever event comes up in your awareness.

Step 4 - Extract Any Positive Lessons or Learnings

There's all the negative stuff attached to that event.

But there's also a positive lesson or learning to take away from it. Perhaps that event allowed you to learn something that helped you in the future, or shaped your life in a way where you help others. Whatever positive learnings you take away from that event - hold onto those.

Step 5 - Float an hour before any chain of events leading up to that event.

In the time before that emotional event (or the events leading up to it), this unwanted emotion didn't exist.

To get to that reset switch, Imagine floating an hour before the event, and this time floating down into your body.

• See through your own eyes, seeing as if it's an hour before the event right now.
• Hear what you were hearing, hearing it as if it's happening right now.
• Feel the emotions, feeling them as if it is an hour before the event right now.

As you feel the emotions an hour before any chain of events leading up to that event, ask yourself "Where are those unwanted emotions now? Are they gone?"

The answer will be yes. (If it's not, perhaps there was another event before this...this happened from time to time with people I've worked with.)

Step 6 - Float back up on your timeline.

Floating high above your timeline, float above the event, looking down - and notice how the unwanted emotions are gone.

Float back above your timeline towards the present moment, holding onto the positive emotions from an hour before the event. And "sprinkle" the positive lessons/learnings down on your timeline to yourself on all areas between that event and the present moment, throwing those learnings like a bowling ball into the indefinite future.



Step 7 - Come back to the present moment now.

Notice how the limiting behavior/emotions are gone.

Here's a private video of me demonstrating it:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3nnhiORJ8g


Here's a book that goes deeper into the topic: Amazon

Either way - a lot of the things you mentioned are caused by emotional imprints built up inside your subconscious. The resources listed in previous posts are good, but doing things like this is a much quicker way to get to where you want to be.

 

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