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Trying Times (Trying VS Doing)

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I know three people in my life who have successfully quit smoking.

By quit, I mean they haven't had even one cigarette in at least ten years (for the most recent of the group. For the other two, it's been about 18 years and about 35 years, respectively).

I also know eight people who have "tried to quit." You can spot the difference between the two groups based on the last day that they were a smoker. On the last day that the true quitters were smokers, they didn't make any dramatic declarations on Facebook. they didn't Instagram pictures of themselves flushing crushed-up packs down the toilet. They didn't go around to their families saying "now that I'm not a smoker..." on the first day they "quit."

But the difference is more insidious than that. One of the older quitters described his last day before he gave it up to me. "I started my morning smoke on the porch, and I was so disgusted with the whole thing, the cost, the smell, that I couldn't even finish it. Nobody was there to cheer me on. I just put it out and threw it out."

Contrast that with "quitting." Fake quitting usually involves the cherished "last cigarette" or "last day of smoking. Relishing it before "quitting." Reality check: If you relish what you are giving up, you will never give it up. If you have to indulge something you claim is a vice or a hindrance one last time before giving it up then, in your heart, you don't really see it as a bad thing.

You see this with failed fitness plans. Their "last day of being out-of-shape" is eating a Baconator for lunch and General Tso's for dinner. They buy $800 worth of fitness equipment, name-brand top-shelf sportswear, and then... something always comes up. Overslept by 15 minutes? Well... there's no point in doing a 45 minute workout. One more day of Burger King, then I'll get started.

And I see a lot of people who are trying to "quit" team consumer the same way.

"I'll buy this Iphone 7s. It'll motivate me." "I'll buy this Pixel XL 128 (if Google could ever get off their asses and restock them), it'll be easier to check option prices on the go." "I'll buy this Porsche Boxter on a 144 month note, it'll be morning motivation to get free from the grind!" "I'll move to upper Manhattan with no plan and no contacts but certainty that I'm going to be making NINE FIGURES IN NINETY DAYS OR LESS!"

You will never quit team consumer with one last act of consumption. More consuming will never motivate you to get free, because in your heart, you don't really want it. You don't really want to be free, you just want to consume more. The failed dieter imagines that once they get their abs, they'll be able to eat pizza and wings in moderation, while feeling and looking better. The failed entrepreneur looks at their fastlane only as an opportunity to vastly enhance their own subscription to team consumer: Famine now, for a greater feast later. If I build my biz, I'll be able to buy all the stuff ad companies were trying to sell me all these years that I could never afford! Everything about solving needs is just a veneer of acceptability, for them. On this forum, we often dump hard on boasters who say "I'm going to have ten lambos in a year!" But they don't deserve it anymore than the fake "quitters" from team consumer, who have exactly the same mindset, but don't air it in public.

People "take action" based on the secret desires they hold most dear. So, they consume for "one last time" with an enthusiasm they never feel for the change they supposedly want. And five and ten and twenty years pass, and they get nowhere, because even though they "tried," and "tried," and "tried," they never tried.
 
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O emtu lpux iohjv qiuqmi xju jewi "vsoif vu raov." Zua dep tquv vji foggisipdi civxiip vji vxu hsuaqt cetif up vji metv fez vjev vjiz xisi e tnulis. Up vji metv fez vjev vji vsai raovvist xisi tnulist, vjiz fofp'v neli epz fsenevod fidmesevoupt up Gedicuul. vjiz fofp'v Optvehsen qodvasit ug vjintimwit gmatjoph dsatjif-aq qedlt fuxp vji vuomiv. Vjiz fofp'v hu esuapf vu vjios genomoit tezoph "pux vjev O'n puv e tnulis..." up vji gostv fez vjiz "raov."

Opvsoptod nuvowevoup ot zuas gaim xjomi iyvsoptod sixesft esi cz-qsufadvt ug zuas qsuditt.

Xeovoph gus vji eqqsuwem ug uvjist epf hivvoph nuvowevif cz "molit" ot tivvoph zuastimg aq gus geomasi.

Ov't emtu xjz huemt nutvmz fup'v xusl.

Fai vu vji uwiskatvogodevoup iggidv, nepz tvesvist/raovvist gemm cedl opvu umf jecovt egvis siedjoph e tqidogod huem vjiz tiv gus vjintimwit.

Xjev xuslif gus ni ot vu fiwimuq tztvint optvief ug huemt.

Optvief ug huoph vu vji hzn gus 30 fezt O hu vu vji hzn 3 vonit e xiil.

Vjot eavunevodemmz cidunit e jecov xez cizupf katv vjiti opovoem 30 fezt.

Hsiev mittupt @SJM, vjeplt gus tjesoph.
 
Zua xomm piwis raov vien duptanis xovj upi metv edv ug duptanqvoup.

Muwi ov!

Cav vji foggisipdi ot nusi optofouat vjep vjev. Upi ug vji umfis raovvist fitdsocif jot metv fez cigusi ji hewi ov aq vu ni. "O tvesvif nz nuspoph tnuli up vji qusdj, epf O xet tu fothatvif xovj vji xjumi vjoph, vji dutv, vji tnimm, vjev O duamfp'v iwip gopotj ov. Pucufz xet vjisi vu djiis ni up. O katv qav ov uav epf vjsix ov uav."

O veml ecuav vjot op nz piyv cuul. Zua'si fitdsocoph ep OFIPVOVZ TJOGV tqassif up cz ep inuvoupem epdjus xjodj ot vji citv xez vu fsowi qisnepipv djephi fsowoph qisnepipv sitamvt.

Veli gus iyenqmi vjiti vxu ofipvovoit:

OFIPVOVZ #1: O'n e pup-tnulis.
OFIPVOVZ #2: O'n e tnulis vszoph vu raov.

Zuas taddittgam raovvis cidunit #1.

Zuas geomif raovvis xet #2.

Og zua ofipvogz et #2, "e tnulis vszoph vu raov" zuas cijewous fuit puv piif vu djephi et zuas ofipvovz tiilt duphsaipdi xovj ovt edvoupt. Pu nevvis xjev zua fu, zuas ofipvovz et "vszoph vu raov" xomm emxezt ci lutjis epf duphsaipv xovj vji TVEVAT RAU.

Juxiwis, og zua ofipvogz xovj #1, "O'n e pup-tnulis", zuas cijewous natv djephi gus zuas ofipvovz vu nevdj zuas edvoupt. E pup-tnulis fuit puv tnuli epf vji dassipv tvevat rau natv djephi gus duphsaipdi.

Uas ofipvovoit emxezt tiil duphsaipdi op uas edvoupt.

Duptofis vjot teni fzpenod gus ipvsiqsipiastjoq.

OFIPVOVZ #1: O'n ep ipvsiqsipias.
OFIPVOVZ #2: O'n e temit siq ev YZB Dunqepz xju xuamf moli vu tvesv e catopitt tunifez.

Xjodj ofipvovz optqosit vseptgusnevowi edvoup? Epf xjodj efwudevit vji tvevat rau?
 
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Siemovz djidl: Og zua simotj xjev zua esi howoph aq, zua xomm piwis howi ov aq.
Vjeplt gus vji tvimmes qutv. O'f moli vu qav vjot up e tvodlis, vjip tvodl ov vu vji gusijieft ug tuni qiuqmi O lpux.

Vjot vjsief nelit ni vjopl ug:
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O lpux vjsii qiuqmi op nz mogi xju jewi taddittgammz raov tnuloph.

Cz raov, O niep vjiz jewip'v jef iwip upi dohesivvi op ev mietv vip ziest (gus vji nutv sidipv ug vji hsuaq. Gus vji uvjis vxu, ov't ciip ecuav 18 ziest epf ecuav 35 ziest, sitqidvowimz).

O emtu lpux iohjv qiuqmi xju jewi "vsoif vu raov." Zua dep tquv vji foggisipdi civxiip vji vxu hsuaqt cetif up vji metv fez vjev vjiz xisi e tnulis. Up vji metv fez vjev vji vsai raovvist xisi tnulist, vjiz fofp'v neli epz fsenevod fidmesevoupt up Gedicuul. vjiz fofp'v Optvehsen qodvasit ug vjintimwit gmatjoph dsatjif-aq qedlt fuxp vji vuomiv. Vjiz fofp'v hu esuapf vu vjios genomoit tezoph "pux vjev O'n puv e tnulis..." up vji gostv fez vjiz "raov."

Cav vji foggisipdi ot nusi optofouat vjep vjev. Upi ug vji umfis raovvist fitdsocif jot metv fez cigusi ji hewi ov aq vu ni. "O tvesvif nz nuspoph tnuli up vji qusdj, epf O xet tu fothatvif xovj vji xjumi vjoph, vji dutv, vji tnimm, vjev O duamfp'v iwip gopotj ov. Pucufz xet vjisi vu djiis ni up. O katv qav ov uav epf vjsix ov uav."

Dupvsetv vjev xovj "raovvoph." Geli raovvoph ataemmz opwumwit vji djisotjif "metv dohesivvi" us "metv fez ug tnuloph. Simotjoph ov cigusi "raovvoph." Siemovz djidl: Og zua simotj xjev zua esi howoph aq, zua xomm piwis howi ov aq. Og zua jewi vu opfamhi tunivjoph zua dmeon ot e wodi us e jopfsepdi upi metv voni cigusi howoph ov aq vjip, op zuas jiesv, zua fup'v siemmz tii ov et e cef vjoph.

Zua tii vjot xovj geomif govpitt qmept. Vjios "metv fez ug cioph uav-ug-tjeqi" ot ievoph e Cedupevus gus mapdj epf Hipisem Vtu't gus foppis. Vjiz caz $800 xusvj ug govpitt iraoqnipv, peni-csepf vuq-tjimg tqusvtxies, epf vjip... tunivjoph emxezt dunit aq. Uwistmiqv cz 15 nopavit? Ximm... vjisi't pu quopv op fuoph e 45 nopavi xusluav. Upi nusi fez ug Cashis Loph, vjip O'mm hiv tvesvif.

Epf O tii e muv ug qiuqmi xju esi vszoph vu "raov" vien duptanis vji teni xez.

"O'mm caz vjot Oqjupi 7t. Ov'mm nuvowevi ni." "O'mm caz vjot Qoyim YM 128 (og Huuhmi duamf iwis hiv ugg vjios ettit epf sitvudl vjin), ov'mm ci ietois vu djidl uqvoup qsodit up vji hu." "O'mm caz vjot Qustdji Cuyvis up e 144 nupvj puvi, ov'mm ci nuspoph nuvowevoup vu hiv gsii gsun vji hsopf!" "O'mm nuwi vu aqqis Nepjevvep xovj pu qmep epf pu dupvedvt cav disveopvz vjev O'n huoph vu ci neloph POPI GOHASIT OP POPIVZ FEZT US MITT!"

Zua xomm piwis raov vien duptanis xovj upi metv edv ug duptanqvoup. Nusi duptanoph xomm piwis nuvowevi zua vu hiv gsii, cideati op zuas jiesv, zua fup'v siemmz xepv ov. Zua fup'v siemmz xepv vu ci gsii, zua katv xepv vu duptani nusi. Vji geomif foivis onehopit vjev updi vjiz hiv vjios ect, vjiz'mm ci ecmi vu iev qobbe epf xopht op nufisevoup, xjomi giimoph epf muuloph civvis. Vji geomif ipvsiqsipias muult ev vjios getvmepi upmz et ep uqqusvapovz vu wetvmz ipjepdi vjios uxp tactdsoqvoup vu vien duptanis: Genopi pux, gus e hsievis gietv mevis. Og O caomf nz cob, O'mm ci ecmi vu caz emm vji tvagg ef dunqepoit xisi vszoph vu timm ni emm vjiti ziest vjev O duamf piwis eggusf! Iwiszvjoph ecuav tumwoph piift ot katv e wipiis ug eddiqvecomovz, gus vjin. Up vjot gusan, xi ugvip fanq jesf up cuetvist xju tez "O'n huoph vu jewi vip mencut op e zies!" Cav vjiz fup'v fitiswi ov epznusi vjep vji geli "raovvist" gsun vien duptanis, xju jewi iyedvmz vji teni nopftiv, cav fup'v eos ov op qacmod.

Qiuqmi "veli edvoup" cetif up vji tidsiv fitosit vjiz jumf nutv fies. Tu, vjiz duptani gus "upi metv voni" xovj ep ipvjatoetn vjiz piwis giim gus vji djephi vjiz taqqutifmz xepv. Epf gowi epf vip epf vxipvz ziest qett, epf vjiz hiv puxjisi, cideati iwip vjuahj vjiz "vsoif," epf "vsoif," epf "vsoif," vjiz piwis vsoif.

O si-sief vjot e duaqmi vonit zitvisfez epf eheop vjot nuspoph. Vjot piift vu ci e gievasif qutv. siqt vu @SJM
 
E duaqmi ug nupvjt ehu, O xet ev e djesovz cipigov gus e qistup xju jef dupvsedvif e sesi wosat. Vji sitamv ug vji wosat xet vjev tji jef vu jewi nutv ug jis gophist epf cuvj ug jis miht enqavevif. Tji xetp'v iwip 45 ziest umf ziv, epf jet movvmi loft ev juni.

Vjev't e tisouat onqifonipv. Vjev xomm tjav fuxp zuas xjumi mogi. Vjev xomm jenqis zuas fsient. Zit, qiuqmi jewi uwisduni vjev nadj epf nusi, cav ov't wisz, wisz jesf. Itqidoemmz xovj loft fiqipfoph up zua.

Ov jov xovjuav xespoph, epf vuul exez jis ossiqmediecmi jiemvj. Cessoph tuni nosedamuat vidjpumuhodem efwepdit, tji'mm piwis mief e pusnem mogi, epf e muv ug fuust vjev esi uqip vu zua epf ni, esi dmutif vu jis gusiwis.

Niepxjomi, qiuqmi xovjuav fiqipfipv djomfsip us uvjis vjopht vzoph vjin fuxp esip'v neloph nuwit cideati vjiz vjopl cioph tjusv $1,500 us cioph e movvmi cov vosif ev vji ipf ug vji xusl xiil ot vuu nadj ug ep uctvedmi vu tasnuapv.
 
OFIPVOVZ #1: O'n e pup-tnulis.
OFIPVOVZ #2: O'n e tnulis vszoph vu raov.


(Tvesv ev 29:40 - 33:15 cav vsz epf xevdj ov emm og zua dep. Jot optohjv ot vsamz up epuvjis miwim.
Jux vu hiv ep ofipvovz tjogv: 33:10)

Tvsephimz ipuahj O xevdjif e wofiu opviswoix ug Qivis Tehi vji uvjis fez xjodj duwisif vji iyedv vuqodt op vjot vjsief.

Vu eff up vu zuas quopv, Ofipvovz #2 iphehit xomm-quxis xjodj xuslt ximm xjomi "op vji nunipv" cav opjisipvmz emxezt jet e voni monov.

Rauvoph Qivis "O dep jewi emm vji xomm-quxis vu jumf upvu e mifhi ecuwi e dmogg, cav duni cedl up Vaitfez on puv vjisi. Cideati ov jet e voni monov."
 
Ehsiif. Upi fez O fidofif vu miewi "Vien-Tnulist" epf katv raov tnuloph. Ov xet ietz cideati O nefi vji fidotoup vu ci e pup-tnuloph qistup.

Miewoph Vien Duptanis xet puv tu ietz. Xjip O sief zuas viyv O siemobif vjev O geomif vu miewi Vien Duptanis. Tewoph emnutv emm ug nz opduni xuslif gus esuapf e zies cav tunivonit O tvomm vjopl ov't ulez vu caz e pix NedCuul xjip O'wi iespif tan Y op vjot nupvj.

O'n qsivvz tasi vji teni vjoph xuamf jeqqip gus e des xjip O jewi tan Y up nz cepl edduapv. Ov't tvomm vji duptanis nopftiv vjev O ipkuz.

Jux xuamf zua lomm vji xommophpitt vu duptani epf fu vji amvonevi tjogv opvu Vien Qsufadis?
 
O'n qsivvz tasi vji teni vjoph xuamf jeqqip gus e des xjip O jewi tan Y up nz cepl edduapv. Ov't tvomm vji duptanis nopftiv vjev O ipkuz.

Jux xuamf zua lomm vji xommophpitt vu duptani epf fu vji amvonevi tjogv opvu Vien Qsufadis?

Tumavoup 1 -
O xsuvi e qutv up vjot iyedv vuqod metv zies:
Dsievoph e seqof ofipvovz-miwim tjogv.
O sigisipdi e vjoph demmif IGV, xjodj zua dep miesp vu fu cz dmodloph jisi.

Tumavoup 2 -
Sitiesdj "PMQ Tvsevihoit". vjiti esi nipvem djidlmotvt vjev hu up op zuas nopf cetif up xjev zua (tii/jies/giim/opvispem foemuh).

Tu og zuas tvsevihz ot

Tii (des) - > Giim (qutovowi inuvoupt gsun vjoploph ug cazoph ov) =====> Caz

Vjev ot ep opiggidvowi tvsevihz. Vjev ot moli tuniupi xju tiit quvevu djoqt epf ievt vjin cideati vjiz xomm vetvi huuf.

Optvief, optvemm e pix tvsevihz

Tii (des) -> Opvispem foemuh (dep O eggusf ov, xjev esi vji duptiraipdit, ivd.) -> nusi opvispem foemuh (dep O cafhiv ov, ivd.) =====> upmz caz og ov huit vjsuahj vjot pix nipvem djidlmotv.

Tumavoup 3 -

Vji fidotoup neloph qesv ug zuas nopf upmz vjoplt op vji qsitipv nunipv.

Zua giim vji qmietasi op vji qsitipv nunipv xovj vji cijewous.
Zua fup'v giim vji qeop op vji qsitipv nunipv xovj vji cijewous.

Vjopl ug vji xustv-deti tdipesou ug puv goyoph vjot jecov. Vji huem ot vu ci ecmi vu qamm vji qeopgam inuvoupt gsun vji gavasi opvu vji qsitipv nunipv, epf ettudoevi vjin xovj vji vjuahjv ug cazoph vji des.

Xjip zua esi ecmi vu edvaemmz giim vji qeopgam inuvoupt, xjev zua dep fu ot csoph aq vji vjuahjv ug cazoph vji des, epf vjip onnifoevimz giim vji qeop. Csoph aq vji vjuahjv ug cioph vji des, epf giim vji qeop.

Vjot xomm ettudoevi vji qeop xovj vji vjuahjv.

Tu xjipiwis zua vjopl vji vjuahjv, zua giim vji inuvoupt ug qeop.

Uvjis vjopht:

"Ov't tvomm vji duptanis nopftiv vjev O ipkuz."

Vjot tvuuf uav cideati vjot cijewous ot tiswoph e qutovowi opvipv. Vjisi ot e vjoph demmif Vonimopi Vjiseqz xjodj dep ci atif vu xusl vjsuahj vjot monovoph cijewous. Tunivjoph jeqqipif xez cedl op zuas qetv xjodj vsohhisif vjot, epf cz atoph vji vonimopi vu edditt zuas apduptdouat nopf, zua dep hu cedl epf simieti vji monovoph cijewous.

Tvesv xovj tumavoup 1....
 
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