I know three people in my life who have successfully quit smoking.
By quit, I mean they haven't had even one cigarette in at least ten years (for the most recent of the group. For the other two, it's been about 18 years and about 35 years, respectively).
I also know eight people who have "tried to quit." You can spot the difference between the two groups based on the last day that they were a smoker. On the last day that the true quitters were smokers, they didn't make any dramatic declarations on Facebook. they didn't Instagram pictures of themselves flushing crushed-up packs down the toilet. They didn't go around to their families saying "now that I'm not a smoker..." on the first day they "quit."
But the difference is more insidious than that. One of the older quitters described his last day before he gave it up to me. "I started my morning smoke on the porch, and I was so disgusted with the whole thing, the cost, the smell, that I couldn't even finish it. Nobody was there to cheer me on. I just put it out and threw it out."
Contrast that with "quitting." Fake quitting usually involves the cherished "last cigarette" or "last day of smoking. Relishing it before "quitting." Reality check: If you relish what you are giving up, you will never give it up. If you have to indulge something you claim is a vice or a hindrance one last time before giving it up then, in your heart, you don't really see it as a bad thing.
You see this with failed fitness plans. Their "last day of being out-of-shape" is eating a Baconator for lunch and General Tso's for dinner. They buy $800 worth of fitness equipment, name-brand top-shelf sportswear, and then... something always comes up. Overslept by 15 minutes? Well... there's no point in doing a 45 minute workout. One more day of Burger King, then I'll get started.
And I see a lot of people who are trying to "quit" team consumer the same way.
"I'll buy this Iphone 7s. It'll motivate me." "I'll buy this Pixel XL 128 (if Google could ever get off their asses and restock them), it'll be easier to check option prices on the go." "I'll buy this Porsche Boxter on a 144 month note, it'll be morning motivation to get free from the grind!" "I'll move to upper Manhattan with no plan and no contacts but certainty that I'm going to be making NINE FIGURES IN NINETY DAYS OR LESS!"
You will never quit team consumer with one last act of consumption. More consuming will never motivate you to get free, because in your heart, you don't really want it. You don't really want to be free, you just want to consume more. The failed dieter imagines that once they get their abs, they'll be able to eat pizza and wings in moderation, while feeling and looking better. The failed entrepreneur looks at their fastlane only as an opportunity to vastly enhance their own subscription to team consumer: Famine now, for a greater feast later. If I build my biz, I'll be able to buy all the stuff ad companies were trying to sell me all these years that I could never afford! Everything about solving needs is just a veneer of acceptability, for them. On this forum, we often dump hard on boasters who say "I'm going to have ten lambos in a year!" But they don't deserve it anymore than the fake "quitters" from team consumer, who have exactly the same mindset, but don't air it in public.
People "take action" based on the secret desires they hold most dear. So, they consume for "one last time" with an enthusiasm they never feel for the change they supposedly want. And five and ten and twenty years pass, and they get nowhere, because even though they "tried," and "tried," and "tried," they never tried.
By quit, I mean they haven't had even one cigarette in at least ten years (for the most recent of the group. For the other two, it's been about 18 years and about 35 years, respectively).
I also know eight people who have "tried to quit." You can spot the difference between the two groups based on the last day that they were a smoker. On the last day that the true quitters were smokers, they didn't make any dramatic declarations on Facebook. they didn't Instagram pictures of themselves flushing crushed-up packs down the toilet. They didn't go around to their families saying "now that I'm not a smoker..." on the first day they "quit."
But the difference is more insidious than that. One of the older quitters described his last day before he gave it up to me. "I started my morning smoke on the porch, and I was so disgusted with the whole thing, the cost, the smell, that I couldn't even finish it. Nobody was there to cheer me on. I just put it out and threw it out."
Contrast that with "quitting." Fake quitting usually involves the cherished "last cigarette" or "last day of smoking. Relishing it before "quitting." Reality check: If you relish what you are giving up, you will never give it up. If you have to indulge something you claim is a vice or a hindrance one last time before giving it up then, in your heart, you don't really see it as a bad thing.
You see this with failed fitness plans. Their "last day of being out-of-shape" is eating a Baconator for lunch and General Tso's for dinner. They buy $800 worth of fitness equipment, name-brand top-shelf sportswear, and then... something always comes up. Overslept by 15 minutes? Well... there's no point in doing a 45 minute workout. One more day of Burger King, then I'll get started.
And I see a lot of people who are trying to "quit" team consumer the same way.
"I'll buy this Iphone 7s. It'll motivate me." "I'll buy this Pixel XL 128 (if Google could ever get off their asses and restock them), it'll be easier to check option prices on the go." "I'll buy this Porsche Boxter on a 144 month note, it'll be morning motivation to get free from the grind!" "I'll move to upper Manhattan with no plan and no contacts but certainty that I'm going to be making NINE FIGURES IN NINETY DAYS OR LESS!"
You will never quit team consumer with one last act of consumption. More consuming will never motivate you to get free, because in your heart, you don't really want it. You don't really want to be free, you just want to consume more. The failed dieter imagines that once they get their abs, they'll be able to eat pizza and wings in moderation, while feeling and looking better. The failed entrepreneur looks at their fastlane only as an opportunity to vastly enhance their own subscription to team consumer: Famine now, for a greater feast later. If I build my biz, I'll be able to buy all the stuff ad companies were trying to sell me all these years that I could never afford! Everything about solving needs is just a veneer of acceptability, for them. On this forum, we often dump hard on boasters who say "I'm going to have ten lambos in a year!" But they don't deserve it anymore than the fake "quitters" from team consumer, who have exactly the same mindset, but don't air it in public.
People "take action" based on the secret desires they hold most dear. So, they consume for "one last time" with an enthusiasm they never feel for the change they supposedly want. And five and ten and twenty years pass, and they get nowhere, because even though they "tried," and "tried," and "tried," they never tried.
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