Travelling the World at 21 - Making the right decisions...

[MagicMystery]

<div class="bbWrapper">-been traveling the world since im 20<br /> first europe then america<br /> -financing it by E-Commerce (taking me 2 hours a day on average)<br /> <br /> Im very introverted to strangers and <br /> extroverted to people I know<br /> <br /> one of my goals for traveling was to learn to open up and become a socializer<br /> (good skill for future business)<br /> <br /> result after 1.5 years:<br /> Im still as closed up as I was before /<br /> even tough I learned many things about life.<br /> <br /> what challenges can i put myself into to get over myself?<br /> <br /> <br /> met some people that I came closer to but I just dont feel like staying anywhere...<br /> something is always making me run to another place...<br /> <br /> separating from close people I met during travels is the hardest thing for me...</div>

 

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[Tiago]

<div class="bbWrapper">I think you have to dig deeper about why you are introverted, then build up from that.<br /> <br /> Do you dislike people?<br /> Do you distrust people?<br /> Would you rather spend time alone enjoying yourself?<br /> Are you anxious?</div>

 

[MagicMystery]

<div class="bbWrapper">Do you dislike people? <br /> yes mixed feelings when looking at strangers<br /> <br /> Do you distrust people? <br /> Incredible distrust to everyone , always think im getting used<br /> <br /> Would you rather spend time alone enjoying yourself?<br /> Thats the easiest thing for me.<br /> <br /> Are you anxious?<br /> yes always on electricity, in the back of my head<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ok I get it - i knew these things but Im not entirely sure how to completely overcome these habits.<br /> <br /> Im going to New York in a couple days... any specific things I could do there to deconstruct and rebuild myself?</div>

 

[Fox]

<div class="bbWrapper">Pick an activity you are passionate about and met people through that activity. <br /> <br /> Maybe its business, computers, climbing, surfing - whatever, being around people who are also into the same interests as you is a very natural and fast way to develop some great friendships and of course conversation. <br /> <br /> I dislike superficial conversation but can talk for days about the things that I truly love.</div>

 

[LateStarter]

<div class="bbWrapper">There&#039;s nothing wrong with being an introvert so don&#039;t be ashamed of it. Still, as you&#039;ve noted, it&#039;s worth being able to be more extroverted in certain settings. I&#039;m an introvert myself and here&#039;s what&#039;s worked for me.<br /> <br /> I started my own consulting business and it helped me to get out of my comfort level a bit. Being forced to talk to strangers to make deals happen isn&#039;t easy but the trial by fire element made me get a lot more comfortable with it very fast. I&#039;m unpolitical and speak my mind which is also a mixed blessing. At the boardroom table I have the confidence to speak my mind and stand behind my convictions. I have become a &#039;business extrovert&#039;. Still, I have a hard time making small talk and networking for it&#039;s own sake. <br /> <br /> In my head, I&#039;m thinking that it&#039;s all fake chit chat about bullshit I really could care less about. To get through this there are a couple of techniques I use. I tend to encourage other people to talk about themselves (family is an easy starter for most). I find that I give shorter, surface level answers so that I can turn the tables and bounce any life questions back at them. It&#039;s still not easy. The worst is when you&#039;re face to face with another introvert. Nothing but awkward silence and short answers. In those situations I tend to excuse myself more quickly and move on or rope in a friendly extrovert to draw out some conversation (my wife is great for that). <br /> <br /> Generally I try to get through the necessary fluff quickly and start discussing things that or of more interest to me...usually business. Pick people&#039;s brains about what they do, how they got started, general info about their industry/business (challenges, pros/cons, etc).<br /> <br /> I also tend to I take myself too seriously. I don&#039;t know why, it&#039;s just part of my nature. Something you may want to try why travelling around is being someone else. I don&#039;t mean impersonating someone you know, but instead make up another persona and pretend to be that person. If you take yourself too seriously then by being someone else there&#039;s no need to be so serious about &#039;you&#039;. It kind of creates a buffer of safety to separate your &#039;real life&#039; from your discussions, particularly when you distrust people. Obviously it&#039;s best if you never see these people again, so don&#039;t get too friendly with them, but use it as a tactic to start getting more comfortable with talking to people, approaching people, and increasing your confidence.</div>

 

[Silverhawk851]

<div class="bbWrapper">Dealt with alot of this when training people to do sales Door-to-door.<br /> <br /> Just force yourself to look like an idiot and talk to 10 people a day, randomly.<br /> Have a good attitude, relax, and just chat.<br /> Comment or question on a common ground, object, situation. <br /> <br /> Then just ask questions. Comment. question. Comment, question.<br /> <br /> In a few minutes you&#039;ll actually get interested and it&#039;ll flow naturally.<br /> <br /> In the end you&#039;ll realize everyone is just worried about themselves,<br /> nobody cares about if you think you look like a fool or not. <br /> <br /> Stop being in your own feelings and thoughts,<br /> and try to see what they are feeling in their shoes, what they are thinking about,<br /> etc. <br /> <br /> Eventually it&#039;ll just come natural to you,<br /> It&#039;s called Rapport.<br /> <br /> Mess up a few times, look like an idiot.<br /> Gotta fail to grow <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /></div>

 

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[HOVLane]

<div class="bbWrapper">&quot;wherever you go, there you are.&quot;</div>

 

[The-J]

<div class="bbWrapper">You need to start loving people for who they are, rather than loving them for what they mean to you.<br /> <br /> Be genuine, don&#039;t put up big walls between you and strangers, and just focus on having fun and living life.<br /> <br /> Trust them before they trust you. Don&#039;t be afraid of getting burned, because most people will not burn you. Some will, but most won&#039;t. Statistically speaking, it makes no sense to fear getting burned, no?<br /> <br /> You said you&#039;re going to New York. NYC is one of my favorite places to be. If you haven&#039;t been, you&#039;ll be shocked at how friendly people are there. NYC has a reputation of being a &#039;cold&#039; city but it&#039;s really not, compared to your typical European city. You&#039;d also be shocked at how easy it is to make lifelong connections there. Talk to everyone you meet and ask them about themselves. <br /> <br /> Go catch a Broadway show and talk to people in line. Go to a comedy lounge in the Village and sit with a group of strangers. Go to one of many &#039;long line&#039; restaurants and talk to people there. Head down to the NYU area and go to the clubs there (Webster Hall what&#039;s up?! rofl) Catch a show at MSG for a band you&#039;ve never heard of. <br /> <br /> And get out of your head and into the world, man! You sound European rofl (no offense to Europeans, but y&#039;all are a bit closed off!)</div>