This discussion did not go over to well...

[dknise]

My girlfriend of 3 years and I have been having a lot of issues. There's a lot of actions she's needed to do to fix some problems in our relationship that she hasn't done.

I'm an extremely productive person. She keeps up with the Kardashians while I have my laptop out and work. It annoys her. Why? I have no, freaking, idea.

Today she had on a True Life show where a guy was starting a graphic design business that required 100+ hours a week of his time and his unemployed gf wanted him to stop working so much to spend more time with her. Listening in the background as I worked... I was thinking "I totally feel for that guy haha." Sure enough, my gf brings it up that that's her and how me and him have issues.

I decided I'd show her a Kevin O'Leary video I posted in another thread:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUW7GvCJPsA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

His advice is literally, dump the girl, focus on your business. Not bad advice imo.

If I had to choose between lying around watching E! entertainment, keeping up with the Kardashians, 10 kinds of wedding shows, and staring at the ceiling, or working on my business, I would work on my business. Apparently my option makes me an a$$, I don't think so.

Because we're already having issues... what would you do in my situation? She's already not been a good girlfriend for more reasons than I want to get into on this forum, and I don't want to throw a minute of my time away on pointless stuff when I could be productive. I think the tone of this post will tell you which direction I'm pushing in.

Thanks guys.

 

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[nzerinto]

Sounds like you are just looking for validation to do what you are already going to do....so get a move on!

 

[TheTruth]

I posted a very thorough and in-depth piece on another thread that correlates exactly to your situation:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/relationships/42466-should-i-just-forget-about-3.html

It's the last post, check it out.

 

[Runum]

Are you asking us for permission to split up with her?

 

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[Kak]

Wow. My gf is watching the kardashians as I type this. Reality TV shit makes her happy. I on the other hand do not watch any TV at all. She would never make me choose between my business and her. Good luck to you.

 

[Lights]

Dump the girlfriend.

It hurts but it's like a bandage. You'll get over it by next week. Love is like a nice meal. Money is for real. Find someone who will be there when the money is gone, and if she'll be there when the money comes.

 

[Mr.Dietsch]

just depends if your ok with a having a gold digger or not. I myself have standards, and expect my woman to be independent. I would drop that girl like a bad habit.

 

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[The-J]

Sounds like you already know what you need to do.

Girlfriends are great. I love mine. They can either be a huge hindrance or a huge help. Yours sounds like a hindrance (although I'm sure you love her very much if you've been together for 3 years).

If you want to go about it, tell her that you have to put all your time into the business. She'll be pissed. Let her be pissed. Just remember: you're going up, up, up, and she'll still be watching reality TV.

 

[dknise]

I posted a very thorough and in-depth piece on another thread that correlates exactly to your situation:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/relationships/42466-should-i-just-forget-about-3.html

It's the last post, check it out.

Great insight! I totally agree with you on it. I've balanced my life pretty well... balanced it 100% in the start up category. Yes I still hit the gym for an hour+ a day, but you can be damn sure my tablet is right there with me as I read up on how to solve problems I've run into. That quote by Cuban at the end was perfect.

So here's another question, where are all the entrepreneurial ladies at who are just as motivated and determined as we are? I know there's some on the forum so I hope one of them reads this and chimes in.

What I don't get is that in a relationship, it's me ignoring her if I don't do what she wants to do like watch Four Weddings all day. Why doesn't she say "hey, what needs to be done on your project, is there anything I can work on with you?" My girl's still in school for nursing and I literally have to push her sometimes like her dad to write her papers or do her reading. I'm the first to suggest it and the first to walk her through any math problems. I just don't get why she doesn't do the same?

Are you asking us for permission to split up with her?

Not permission, no, just opinion from a sense of what choices to make to become successful. Is my situation a distraction that needs to be eliminated?

Wow. My gf is watching the kardashians as I type this. She knows better than to tell me not to work tough. Good luck to you.

Man I hear you... kills me inside sometimes haha.

 

[dknise]

Dump the girlfriend.

It hurts but it's like a bandage. You'll get over it by next week. Love is like a nice meal. Money is for real. Find someone who will be there when the money is gone, and if she'll be there when the money comes.

Haha I read your thread from you and the guy you were dating a while back! Cold, heartless, cut throat and to the point, the exact type of girl most of us on the forum need. She's here when the money isn't, but sounds like she's going to bitch and moan while the money comes in.

just depends if your ok with a having a gold digger or not. I myself have standards, and expect my woman to be independent. I would drop that girl like a bad habit.

I'd probably end up buying a mid 90's honda civic to drive around for the first 6 months of a new relationship with money involved.

If you want to go about it, tell her that you have to put all your time into the business. She'll be pissed. Let her be pissed. Just remember: you're going up, up, up, and she'll still be watching reality TV.

I think it's like TheTruth's Mark Cuban quote:
When my g/f told me that it's either her or my business, I turned around and asked her "what was your name again" ~ Mark Cuban

 

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[The-J]

Any girl that says 'It's either me or your business' is not a girl you want to be with. Plain and simple.

 

[PopEmersen]

DUMP HER DUMP HER DUMP HER......in 6 to 12 months if you haven't, you will look back and say "WTF? Why didn't I move on when I had the chance." It happened to me, please dump her.

 

[Runum]

27 years of marriage. Many hair brained ideas, many biz ideas, lots of auto racing and expensive habits. One child among us. Several careers. Some serious disagreements.

She never put me in any position to have to choose between her or something else I want to do.

 

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[Rickson9]

My girlfriend of 3 years and I have been having a lot of issues. There's a lot of actions she's needed to do to fix some problems in our relationship that she hasn't done.

Why would somebody need to "fix" themselves to be with anybody? Is/was this relationship based on some sort of trial basis?

I'm an extremely productive person. She keeps up with the Kardashians while I have my laptop out and work. It annoys her. Why? I have no, freaking, idea.

Because you are not spending time with her. You're working. I would be upset as well.

You guys should break up. You're wasting each other's time.

Good luck.

 

[sal]

She keeps up with the Kardashians while I have my laptop out and work. It annoys her.

Having someone close to me watching the Kardashian's regularly would annoy me tbh...

She's already not been a good girlfriend for more reasons

So what your really saying is she's only around for that thing between her legs?
I would leave her, baggage is too mainstream. :smash:

 

[TheTruth]

What I don't get is that in a relationship, it's me ignoring her if I don't do what she wants to do like watch Four Weddings all day. Why doesn't she say "hey, what needs to be done on your project, is there anything I can work on with you?" My girl's still in school for nursing and I literally have to push her sometimes like her dad to write her papers or do her reading. I'm the first to suggest it and the first to walk her through any math problems. I just don't get why she doesn't do the same?

That's the thing though, you are missing her whole point.

She doesn't want you watch those shows with her, she just wants you to be present when you are with her. If you spend 10 hours with your girl but all of those hours are with you in front of the computer, then she will feel distant.

Your #1 problem is that you are not present with your girl.

It all goes back to feminine and masculine energy. You should read up on this subject a bit to get a greater understanding-it would help you out with these exact situations. (PM me if you want me to throw you some good material for starters)


Also, you are taking in only your viewpoint on life. Just because you are a "go-getter" and want to build a successful business does not mean she does.


I learned through a lot of pain that the only way to live is to accept others for what they want to be, otherwise you will always have conflict(as you are always judging someone in some way).

Have you shown her what the fastlane is and does she know about your goals? If not, do so and see if she is willing to take a different path. If you did, then you need to step up as a man and move on, because your situation will never change and you will have wasted your time and her's.

 

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[Kak]

27 years of marriage. Many hair brained ideas, many biz ideas, lots of auto racing and expensive habits. One child among us. Several careers. Some serious disagreements.

She never put me in any position to have to choose between her or something else I want to do.

Great post!!

 

[TheTruth]

Great post!!

I'm in that kind of mood...

 

[Rickson9]

Different people and/at different stages of the relationship have time-spent-together needs. Each person has a different threshold. When it drops below this threshold, then there is a problem.

It is clear that your threshold is much lower. That is, you don't require as much time interacting with your gf. This difference will eventually break the relationship or somebody else will inevitably come along that will give her what she needs.

Either way, the problem will resolve itself, with or without your intervention.

 

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[Lights]

Haha I read your thread from you and the guy you were dating a while back! Cold, heartless, cut throat and to the point, the exact type of girl most of us on the forum need. She's here when the money isn't, but sounds like she's going to bitch and moan while the money comes in.

----

I doubt I'm the type most guys need on this forum, at least right now. I'm not ready for commitments yet, until I am rich myself.

When I fall in love with the right guy, he will need to be perfect in my eyes. I don't plan on doing those yr-long relationships again, nor get involve with love for a long time. It's an investment, and life is too short to be with someone not "perfect". Of course, by perfect I don't mean perfect in a everyday way, perfect to me would be someone around my age, someone who has the same hobbies, and someone moderately good-looking, and similar social status.

 

[dknise]

27 years of marriage. Many hair brained ideas, many biz ideas, lots of auto racing and expensive habits. One child among us. Several careers. Some serious disagreements.

She never put me in any position to have to choose between her or something else I want to do.

Sounds like you have a true partner in crime in life! Congrats.

Why would somebody need to "fix" themselves to be with anybody? Is/was this relationship based on some sort of trial basis?

@TheTruth too, this will give some insight why I'm not fully "present" and focus on my business.
I guess you could say the last half a year has been a "trial" period. I gave her the world for the first two years of our relationship and she decided to cheat. I was part of her family, there everyday, dinner with them all the time, holidays, etc. She cheated over jealousy issues with other girls being interested in me that I had no connection with what so ever. Since I cut her out then, she's kept me from her friends, family, hid her facebook, and hasn't done any of the things to show me she wants to be a part of my life again. I bring up these problems every 2 weeks, she promises to "fix" them meaning bring me over to her place, hang out with her friends, etc, but never goes through with it. She basically completely ripped me from her life and I'm reciprocating with focusing on work. I didn't include these details because I'm looking for strictly a good for business perspective on relationships.

So what your really saying is she's only around for that thing between her legs?

Funny thing! She's been trying to get me in the sac for about two months now but I'm not having it. I know I'm a guy but I'm not down to get between the sheets with someone who isn't holding up their half of the relationship. It's the least sexy thing a partner could do and if she thinks "fixing" stuff between us is to spread her legs, that's what screwed up our relationship in the first place hahaha.

 

[sal]

Funny thing! She's been trying to get me in the sac for about two months now but I'm not having it. I know I'm a guy but I'm not down to get between the sheets with someone who isn't holding up their half of the relationship. It's the least sexy thing a partner could do and if she thinks "fixing" stuff between us is to spread her legs, that's what screwed up our relationship in the first place hahaha.

I guess you need to break it to her then...
I'll leave this here Shawnecannon will break up with your boyfriend / girlfriend in a star wars trooper mask for $5, only on fiverr.com

 

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[Rickson9]

In order to save you some agony (or at least help save you from future agony), it is impossible to "fix" a character trait in a partner that you find unappealing.

You can disagree and try it, but it won't go very well. But I understand the need to try.

Some people can be told that the stove is hot, but they still need to get burned to figure it out anyway. This happens in investing as well - some people just have the overwhelming urge to burn their money.

Good luck!

 

[dknise]

I guess you need to break it to her then...
I'll leave this here Shawnecannon will break up with your boyfriend / girlfriend in a star wars trooper mask for $5, only on fiverr.com

:smilielol:

That's priceless! Lights! That's what you shoulda done! At least he would have laughed a little when the time came! haha

 

[dknise]

In order to save you some agony (or at least help save you from future agony), it is impossible to "fix" a character trait in a partner that you find unappealing.

You can disagree and try it, but it won't go very well. But I understand the need to try. Some people can be told that the stove is hot, but they still need to get burned to figure it out anyway.

Ah yes... something I have blamed myself repeatedly for the last 3 years. I can't even count the number of guys we've had fights over since we started dating. The first time I caught her in a lie about texting some guy was the first week we dated. *facepalm* Any girl who pulled that before and I cut them off like they were dead to me haha. Don't know why I let myself get burned so much this time. =p

EDIT: It's not a crime at all to text the opposite sex while dating. It is a mis-deed when it involves some seriously flirting / sexting and any lying about it to your partner.

 

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[Lights]

:smilielol:

That's priceless! Lights! That's what you shoulda done! At least he would have laughed a little when the time came! haha

He took it quite well actually. I'm over it though.It's part of my past.

He just given me his guitar a couple of weeks ago. And told me I can come back anytime I want. I can still live there lmao. But I told him straight up, "I don't want to hurt you again so I cannot commit to that".

 

[dknise]

He took it quite well actually. I'm over it though.

He just given me his guitar a couple of weeks ago. And told me I can come back anytime I want. I can still live there lmao.

Hahaha that sounds like a nightmare! Dont' do it!

 

[dknise]

So... just fb creeped a pic that shows her throwing a party at her house this summer that I wasn't at. Definitely what I was afraid of, and I'm 99% sure she cheated again. Shouldn't have given it another chance, now I'm feelin the burn.

 

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[road_runner]

every minute lost with her is a missed change to meet new suitable one, i am sure you realize this

 

[Lights]

Cheaters are disgusting people. Not for the fact that they cannot commit to the person they love, but for the fact that they will play around with STDs. I never cheated on my boyfriend, I may had flirted with guys online (who are usually out of state), but that's about it... it was just for fun. Sex is something you can only do with people you want to be in a long-term relationship. It's like you have no respect for your body, and the body of your lover. I rather live without a permanent life threatening STD then have a million dollars. You wouldn't believe how scared of STDs I am. I tell guys straight up, no sex, except long term relationships.
I went to dates with guys who were married men a couple of yrs ago. It's just gross. I wouldn't see them again after that. I find a lot of men disgusting in all honesty. I'm sure there's disgusting women out there too.

If you think she cheated then just drop her like a hot potato. It's not like you're married to her. Dump dump dump.

I rather be in a platonic relationship with an asexual then with a cheater. STDS no joke