These days...

[RisingStars]

Hello forum,

So I wanted to ask what you do on "these days" where everything goes wrong
Today:
-I got my first neutral review on my ebay account. Was my fault, still hurts.
-My paypal Account got blocked because I reached a big revenue (I think 10k in the last month, not that bad but I have to sent them data.
-->Main Problem: The account is runned by my dad. I have a license to run a company (In germany only for 18 year olds allowed to run a company, I am 17. )
Paypal dont accept that so my dad created the account. Have to submit data I dont have on my dads name.
Still 1300€ on the account.


I was the whole day sad as F*ck. I started the business 1 month ago and it really satisfys me.
First time I make "real" money.
Still 2500€ left in stuff to sell.

The whole day I just sit infront of my computer and watching the same youtube videos again and again.

Thinking about quotes like "Life aint about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward" dont really help.
I never felt so depressed for a month or so.

Just to many hits in a row after such a short time.

Lost 600€ some days ago (basically got stolen, but it was again my fault dont want to go into detail with the circumstances)


It was the first sign of success, even if it was only 2k this month, I was busy, had to do stuff after school not sitting around gaming. If paypal blocks my account I go out of it with NOTHING. (started at 3k)

Any advice what to do?

 

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[Mattie]

Sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Welcome to your first setback and challenge.

Take a break and enjoy yourself.

Everyone has down days, that's normal. Even the guys on here that pretend they are invincible have shitty days.

I'm down anywhere from $15,000-$20,000 this past week. It's no problem.

If everything is in your dad's name, can't you just send in the documents?

 

[BlakeIC]

you will recover, with ebay requiring a paypal that pushed me away from them (well that and the blacklist)

 

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[BlakeIC]

you will recover, with ebay requiring a paypal that pushed me away from them (well that and the blacklist)

 

[RisingStars]

Thank you all for your posts.
I feel a bit better now

Take a break and enjoy yourself. - GumpyCat

What do you mean by that exactly? what do you do on your setbacks?

 

[Damage Inc.]

Viewing the problems as a learning experience is a useful strategy in my opinion. Whatever mistake you made to get the neutral feedback, commit it to memory and don't make it again. Furthermore, have you done everything in your power to make it right? Apology, refund, partial refund, whatever it may be? If you can make the customer happy they can send a feedback update. I think you will feel better if you try everything in your power to fix the problem. And if it doesn't work, you know you tried and did the right thing.

As far as the personal info on your dad, why can't you ask him for it? The same thing happened to me and the solution was as simple as calling up with my social #. From the time that the issue arose to the time I fixed it was about 15 minutes. Whatever information they need on your dad I'm sure there is a way for you to get it or a work around. Just see your problems and solutions as another part of the process, another step in creating a successful business. These problems are only a big deal if you let them be. Hope this helps.

 

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[Digamma]

You are 17 and you're already making money online, like serious money. These are solvable hiccups.
Just take a day off, kick back and realize how much ahead you are for your age. Then demolish them.

 

[randomnumber314]

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor Frankl

Especially in business, you should expect that there will be bad days, there will be problems, there will be challenges. These events can be perceived as bad, and you can choose to perceive them as negative. OR you can choose to accept them as a learning opportunity, and make changes to prevent repeats in the future.

So what will you do differently in the future to ensure that PayPal (who is notorious for screwing sellers) doesn't lock down your cash?

 

[RisingStars]

@Damage Inc Thanky you, yea I try to view it as a learning experience.
I refund the whole amount the customer payed of cause, after I get my product back. Wrote an apology but he didnt replied to it. Just gave me the neutral rating.

Paypal: I sell used stuff I bought from private sellers. They dont give bills to me. Paypal want bills and informations on my suppliers. I cant submit that
I submit the business lisence of my dad already and his id card.


@Digamma Thanks for the kind words. May I should take a day of or smth.

@randomnumber314 Thank you, yea you are right. I will try to view it as opportunity.
Well in the future I think I need to get a own account But thats not possible till I am 18. So I guess I have to wait till my birthday (17. march) to continue business.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Thank you all for your posts.
I feel a bit better now

Take a break and enjoy yourself. - GumpyCat

What do you mean by that exactly? what do you do on your setbacks?

I'm saying do something fun to relax for a bit and take your mind off of what's going on, and then get back to work when you're doing better.

 

[BlakeIC]

Thank you all for your posts.
I feel a bit better now

Take a break and enjoy yourself. - GumpyCat

What do you mean by that exactly? what do you do on your setbacks?

stop feeling sorry for yourself

 

[Mattie]

What do you mean by that exactly? what do you do on your setbacks?

At this point in place: It's hard to understand what they're saying. Let go of the pain and suffering. Let go of what other people are doing and saying. Not you're issue how other people react and respond around you to your circumstances and situation. Learn to focus on problem solving skills to get out of your situation instead of focusing on the problems. Take your focus off other people's issues and problems. They're not yours and not your responsibility.

Take one problem at a time and take steps to get out of that problem. What can you do differently? Look at the problem from different angles and perspectives. Learn how to be positive even when the world looks a certain way. Believe there is a better way and life. Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself.

Let go of being defensive when someone says "Stop feeling sorry for yourself." This has a negative charge and trigger because someone probably already says it in your life. Such as "Stop being a victim" "You're to lazy."

Be neutral about it, because every one has a different take on your situation from where they're standing in life. Probably the people around you aren't walking the walk and talk the talk. Slinging those kinds of phrases without taking action. Even if you were, they'd still be slinging the same phrases.

When they say it in this forum, "It's a different perspective from those that are more successful and may or may not being walking the walk. Talk is cheap in this world at times. Action produces the results. So be neutral with those that say negative trigger words that are usually loaded. It will appear over and over again in your life. The only time you're not a victim and feeling sorry for yourself telling your story is when you're an authority like Tony Robbins teaching stuff. I even read somewhere Billionaire's tell Millionaire's they're lazy. And that made me laugh. Seems Tough Love never stops.

What I did during my set backs was learn how to focus my mind where it's important. Other people are a distraction with mixed messages across the board. You can have ten people giving you bad advice in your life. Ten people giving you great advice. Go for the ones giving you great advice. Look at their lives. What is the fruit? How do they handle relationships? How do they handle business? How do they handle finances? The only way you find the right answers is by hanging in places like in here, reading books on success, leadership, mental toughness, brain training, and the list goes on.

Hang around those already successful with the right mindset.

Learn to deal with your stress some how with sports, meditation, art, writing, music, or many other activities.

Eat right and sleep if you can, even under all the extreme pressure of people bashing you.

Learn to use your anger for leverage to produce something successful like a business. Not fighting and arguing.

Don't use your anger and emotions to argue and fight with others. Allow them to be right and convince themselves how they have all the right answers. Usually, I've found out they've been wrong. They need to be right. They don't like being wrong. And they won't admit they're wrong. You will never get justice. You will never get any apology.

Accept this is the way it is, and let it go. Move on to bigger and better things. Otherwise you're wasting time, energy, and stressing yourself out having to be right, and you don't want to be wrong, and you don't like being wrong. No one wins in an argument or debate. It can go on for days, months, and years.

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

Karpman Drama Triangle: We play one of these roles : Victim, Rescuer, or Judge at all times. Lucifer Effect: Phil Zimbardo Everyone out there, is always the enemy. We play one of two roles in your mind right now: The Villain or the Hero. Just depends on your awareness and mindset.

What do you during your setbacks? You know thyself? Learn who you are, versus who someone else tells you. Follow no one and learn to lead yourself.

When you can lead yourself, you can lead other people.

Learn what your emotional and mental attachments are that are holding you back. Let go of the negative thoughts, actions, behaviors, and replace them with positive ones.

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! The past! Don't even go there!

What are your excuses?

Those excuses always get in the way of success.

 

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[tafy]

If I hit 10k revenue last month at 17 years old I would be going nuts!

 

[Mattie]

10k revenue

Yes, Emotional and Mental attachment. It appears one minute and gone the next minute. For some reason I believe when you get up in the ranks of dealing with lots of cash, investments, and business ideas, you have to learn to handle that stress, emotion, anger, frustration, focus that energy in the appropriate way, to build yourself back up again. You can't allow money to define who you are. Whether it goes up or down, or you lose or gain, you can't allow it to control your emotions and mindset.

I suppose I learned that from having things and losing it all. It's hard a fall, but a skill necessary to have in the Entrepreneur world. Money is the result, but it doesn't make you or break you.

 

[RisingStars]

I'm saying do something fun to relax for a bit and take your mind off of what's going on, and then get back to work when you're doing better.

I will do that, thank you

stop feeling sorry for yourself

I just saw this comic here in the forum

@Mattie Thank you for that long post. I read it like 4 times to understand everything, but now I think I know what you mean.
There is a lot of true stuff in there I already knew but didnt keep attention to it. Thanks for pointing it out.
I hope one day I will be able to give such wise advice
You can't allow money to define who you are. Whether it goes up or down, or you lose or gain, you can't allow it to control your emotions and mindset.
That sentence was one of the most important ones for me cause I was also going nuts like @tafy pointed out

I should define myself with the skills I learnt last month.

Oh and this step for step problem solving is very important too.

Yesterday I started 1st step: Get rid of the left of products:
On ebay I can sell with bids, too without paypal. Sadly no "Buy now" but atleast I can sell

Thank you all.

 

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[Mattie]

Glad to help you gain clarity. Never allow circumstances to define who you are. I suppose my strategy is always treat life like a sports game. The opponent may think they've won for the moment, the score board my look like your losing, but then there is that moment with hard work, discipline, patience, and practice, everything in the game changes. The games not over to the end of your life. You might lose a lot of games, but win many more.

The world has a thousand different versions of tough love depending on where they're standing in life. The world can say and do a lot of things, even sabotage your success, and so they believe they've won, you just keep moving, and breathing. Some will sit around and watch you fail, because of jealousy, and their tough love even when it's no longer necessary.

Never allow this world to define your world, or whether you can succeed. There's always a problem to be solved, and there is always a solution. Wisdom comes with a lot of failure, and falling down on your knees. Bear Bryant was a tough coach and this is your half time. If you ever watched the Junction boys, a few players walked off the field, because they thought he was insane and it was to hard. The rest of them stuck it out, built character, and he wasn't a coach that just taught football, but life skills. If you give up on yourself, you give up on the rest of the team. His philosophy, was if you quit during halftime, you'd never get to the end zone. If you quit on yourself, he didn't need you on his team.

He did get a lot of bad press for pushing them boys to hard, and had to change some things in his coaching. He and another coach clashed, but he walked the walk, even in his half time, he adjusted what he needed to and still made it the end zone.

1. You have to learn to be that top notch player that gets to the end zone.
2. When it comes to the team, choose the right players that are going to get to the end zone. (Not many will get there. They will give up on you, because they give up on themselves, or don't see the possibilities.)
3. Bear Bryant said, "Get rid of the naysayers, and faultfinders." I imagine because they don't get you anywhere in life.

 

[RisingStars]

Thank you again Mattie. Thats really an important thing. Getting rid of the naysayers. But sadly I am forced to life with them. Basically my whole family tells me (and often tries to froce me) to study and get a job at Volkswagen.
I hate it. Thats just the average german guy. Working at Volkswagen

Cant wait to move out when I am 18.


But positive news too: My Paypal got unlocked! I described my business system and they unblocked it
Now I already put the auctions in ebay but atleast I can continue.

Next goal:
Get a Tax-Consultant
Reach 20k Revenue with my 18th birthday

 

[Mattie]

And the lesson: All that anxiety, worry, stress, wasn't needed. You're imagination was focusing on fear instead of believing the best outcome.
No matter what things look like: Have faith things will work out. Glad to happen it only was for a few days!

People will try to drive your life forever. You just have to stand up for what you want, believe, and do it anyway. Sure, they get bent out of shape, don't agree, and frown upon you getting away with success a different way than they know how. You can be a door mat, be obedient, follow the crowd, or you can blaze a new trail, have the confidence, sacrifice, and gain their respect later. lol

 

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[Bila]

17, 10k in revenue a month .....You should be very proud of yourself.

 

[Lex DeVille]

Hello forum,

So I wanted to ask what you do on "these days" where everything goes wrong
Today:
-I got my first neutral review on my ebay account. Was my fault, still hurts.
-My paypal Account got blocked because I reached a big revenue (I think 10k in the last month, not that bad but I have to sent them data.
-->Main Problem: The account is runned by my dad. I have a license to run a company (In germany only for 18 year olds allowed to run a company, I am 17. )
Paypal dont accept that so my dad created the account. Have to submit data I dont have on my dads name.
Still 1300€ on the account.


I was the whole day sad as F*ck. I started the business 1 month ago and it really satisfys me.
First time I make "real" money.
Still 2500€ left in stuff to sell.

The whole day I just sit infront of my computer and watching the same youtube videos again and again.

Thinking about quotes like "Life aint about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward" dont really help.
I never felt so depressed for a month or so.

Just to many hits in a row after such a short time.

Lost 600€ some days ago (basically got stolen, but it was again my fault dont want to go into detail with the circumstances)


It was the first sign of success, even if it was only 2k this month, I was busy, had to do stuff after school not sitting around gaming. If paypal blocks my account I go out of it with NOTHING. (started at 3k)

Any advice what to do?

I'm getting bitch slapped by one of those days right now.

Only one thing to do.

Drive on...

 

[RisingStars]

@Mattie Yea you are right. I tend to worry to much. I will try to improve.

@Bila Thank you

@SinisterLex I feel with you. You will get over it.


Funny story: Today I tried to sell a product I had left for 370€ I was waiting for the girl to buy it at the train station. She didnt came. I wrote her on fb where she is but no reply. So I went back into the train main station and wanted to go to my train (still had 10min left) then I saw a guy losing a important looking paper. He started running to his train. I picked it up and run after him and just when he entered his train I catched him and gave the paper to him.

When I went down the stairs I thought: "Well that was a good action, now something good must happen to me" (I know bad thinking). I checked my fb and the girl wrote "I am in the "World coffee" cafe next to the location we wanted to meet.

I runned again. Told her 3 minutes left. Showed her the phone. Checked if the money wasnt fake. Thanked her and runned back to my train. Barely catched the train. In the train I started to check my mails. And: Oh? Paypal mail? Lets see... Yeeeesss unblocked.

Do good and good will happen to you

 

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