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The wall

Anything related to matters of the mind

JimBumgardner

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For many years, I had zero issues creating video content and programming for on air and online distribution. Add to that tons of marketing campaigns for area businesses and organizations. Nowadays? I have ideas but lost my drive for follow through. It’s maddening. Mind you, I have shifted day jobs out of necessity but that one has taken quite the dump in its ability to provide the basic needs it was supposed to serve. But it still steals away the time, energy and focus.
Not in a position to just up and walk away and new gigs are not popping at the moment. Anyone else crawl out, over, around this wall? I know it’s only a temporary pit stop but at 46, this shit show is eating me up.
 
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alexkuzmov

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but that one has taken quite the dump in its ability to provide the basic needs it was supposed to serve. But it still steals away the time, energy and focus.
This is a terrible position that you`ve put yourself in.
I think you should get rid of this particular day job, its killing you.

Have you lost your drive for follow through?
Absolutely not.
Its not something you can lose.
BUT it can be drained out of you each day by a dead end job, thats for sure.
I wouldn say that you`ve hit a "wall", but you`ve tumbled onto a "drain".
My advice is identify what steals your time and energy the most and get rid of it.
 

Abrodos

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I'm in a similar situation. I've been doing several time-consuming large format sculptures for 6-7 years. I get passionate about the projects, I miscalculate the budgets, and I end up tied for more than a year with each new one.
I've decided that the current one will be the last that I do, at least in a traditional way (I'm studying new techniques, such as 3d design and CNC carving, in order to untie my personal time from those works.

What is it that stops you from just leaving this job? Is it debt, a large investment in materials? A contract?
 

Ernman

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For many years, I had zero issues creating video content and programming for on air and online distribution. Add to that tons of marketing campaigns for area businesses and organizations. Nowadays? I have ideas but lost my drive for follow through. It’s maddening. Mind you, I have shifted day jobs out of necessity but that one has taken quite the dump in its ability to provide the basic needs it was supposed to serve. But it still steals away the time, energy and focus.
Not in a position to just up and walk away and new gigs are not popping at the moment. Anyone else crawl out, over, around this wall? I know it’s only a temporary pit stop but at 46, this shit show is eating me up.
Is this video content creation your own gig or are you doing it as an employee for someone else? Just asking for clarification before going further.
 
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JimBumgardner

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Is this video content creation your own gig or are you doing it as an employee for someone else? Just asking for clarification before going further.
It was a mix of both. Long story short, I worked at a tiny market TV station. Had an outside biz doing freelance productions but couldn't get it sustainable at a rate that would actually replace the paycheck.
 

JimBumgardner

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This is a terrible position that you`ve put yourself in.
I think you should get rid of this particular day job, its killing you.

Have you lost your drive for follow through?
Absolutely not.
Its not something you can lose.
BUT it can be drained out of you each day by a dead end job, thats for sure.
I wouldn say that you`ve hit a "wall", but you`ve tumbled onto a "drain".
My advice is identify what steals your time and energy the most and get rid of it.
Thank you! I really appreciate those words. A lot. The best thing about this gig was it did introduce me to NO DeMarco's work. And for that I'm grateful.... terribly ironic that this current path is such a perfect Unscripted textbook example of what we can allow to happen to ourselves.
 

JimBumgardner

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Oct 1, 2019
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I'm in a similar situation. I've been doing several time-consuming large format sculptures for 6-7 years. I get passionate about the projects, I miscalculate the budgets, and I end up tied for more than a year with each new one.
I've decided that the current one will be the last that I do, at least in a traditional way (I'm studying new techniques, such as 3d design and CNC carving, in order to untie my personal time from those works.

What is it that stops you from just leaving this job? Is it debt, a large investment in materials? A contract?
Yeah, the usual dead end job reasons all apply for me hanging on too long. I am actively looking for something new as well as getting over my own "burn out bullshit " .... perseverance.... it's still there but getting the tank filled back up is slow. Thank you slvery much for the reply and sharing your situation. It's nice to know we're not alone :)
 
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JimBumgardner

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Thank you to all of you for your comments. I truly appreciate the support. I know I got this and this will indeed pass. Just having a "moment" of sorts. Lacing up the boot straps now and forcing the creative muscles to get back into gear. Again thank you all, you're words are very encouraging and remind me that sometimes you have to get back up after kicking your own a$$. :)
 

ChrisGav

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Hey Jim. I'm only 21, so you've got quite a bit of life experience on me, but I will say my thoughts. I think the key to success or moving the needle in our lives is discipline. When I say discipline I mean, doing the things you don't want to do when you should be doing them.

Most of us have this ideology that we have to "feel" like doing something to be able to deliver. Which simply isn't true. Not everyday is going to feel great, or be fun, and stress free. But it's in these days where I think our destiny and mindset is shaped the most. It's a constant battle in our minds. "man should I work on my business or relax? I really want to just relax today..." You don't have to win this battle every time, but if you can win 51% of the time your life will begin to move in the right direction again.

Here's a thread I created on this very topic that shares my thoughts more in depth if you're interested: A thought I had
 

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