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Th F*ck This Event

drgregw

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I’ve been re-reading Unscripted over the past few days, because just like MJ says it’s easy to start and make statements and never follow through. Action fakes all day. I’ve been struggling with that lately. Less motivation, feeling trapped, feeling complacenet, etc. So I re-read the chapter about the FTE last night and it hit me that I never really had one, even thought I thought I did. I’ve had a lot F*ck this moments but no single event strong enough to elicit a lasting change. I know you can’t force a FTE, but how do you have it? How do you know that you’ve been pushed to F*cking far and this is it? IS something you accept or does it just happen?

Would anyone be willing share their FTE and how it changed their life, motivation, actions or thought processes?
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Action fakes all day. I’ve been struggling with that lately. Less motivation, feeling trapped, feeling complacenet, etc.
You need to get out of your head, and actually do what you need to do. Even if you don't feel like it, just go through the motions. As you take more action, you will notice a change.

View: https://youtu.be/z3ScszkzJqk


P.S. If your sleep and eating habits are irregular, I would get this under control first. Worked for me.
 

drgregw

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When the train is approaching, there's nothing else you're thinking about.

Sounds like for you, there just isn't any urgency. You don't see or feel the train. So life goes on...

I love that post on Quora. It’s genius. But how do I change it? Work on 3bs? Wait for urgency to kick in? Is there something I can do to make a change; consciously make a change until it’s subconscious?
 
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drgregw

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You need to get out of your head, and actually do what you need to do. Even if you don't feel like it, just go through the motions. As you take more action, you will notice a change.

View: https://youtu.be/z3ScszkzJqk


P.S. If your sleep and eating habits are irregular, I would get this under control first. Worked for me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This video is incredible. I like what you said about just doing what I need to do, but (I probably sound like a jack a$$) I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to do more action fakes, I want to make actual steps towards freedom.

How do you start moving forward with an idea. What action would YOU take first?
 

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Make a list of F*ck this moments, trust me there are a lot.

Write them all down and hang them onto a wall. I did this while on vacation from my job and halfway through I became extremely depressed as the list of crap got higher and higher.
 

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Thank you, thank you, thank you! This video is incredible. I like what you said about just doing what I need to do, but (I probably sound like a jack a$$) I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to do more action fakes, I want to make actual steps towards freedom.

How do you start moving forward with an idea. What action would YOU take first?

Yeah I understand. It's different in every situation.

The trick is to take your goal, find the steps which would get you there, prioritize the most important ones and tackle those.

What are you trying to do?
 
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How do you start moving forward with an idea. What action would YOU take first?
Start with a work log app. At the end of the week, you need an honest, precise record of how much you did. Otherwise you've got no feedback.

Then make a note of things that do motivate you, and try further things that could motivate you. Hanging out with people who make you jealous, going to high end bars/restaurants/hotels for getting pissed off by how rich other people are compared to you, gathering prices of specific things you want, and how long it would take at your job & saving rate to get that, etc.

But "FTEs" aren't that useful a concept. New businessmen feel like saying eff this far more often than salarymen. The salaryman feels it Monday morning & when returning from holiday & that's it. He gets into the office, gets his coffee, chats, browses the net, and maybe by noon is starting some work.

The businessman has no such luxury. He makes his life much worse, in pursuit of it being in the future much better.

If you can't do that, you need to work on hardening yourself by deliberately going out of your comfort zone.

You want to be rich, but you don't want it to hurt. Like 99% of people. Modify your relationship with pain.
 

drgregw

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Yeah I understand. It's different in every situation.

The trick is to take your goal, find the steps which would get you there, prioritize the most important ones and tackle those.

What are you trying to do?

I’m a chiropractor, the usual way to make money is trading your time for it, there’s a potential to make good money but you’re still a slave to your office and notes and insurance companies. To break free from that my idea is to start a house call business but scale it so it’s a corporation. Similar to Uber. Different areas would have access to the doctor that is assigned to that area. Depending on the demand more doctors will be added.

That’s a broad description of my idea.


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drgregw

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Make a list of f*ck this moments, trust me there are a lot.

Write them all down and hang them onto a wall. I did this while on vacation from my job and halfway through I became extremely depressed as the list of crap got higher and higher.

So what was the outcome for you? Did that change your decision making or motivation? Are you in a different spot now than you were before you did that?


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drgregw

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Start with a work log app. At the end of the week, you need an honest, precise record of how much you did. Otherwise you've got no feedback.

Then make a note of things that do motivate you, and try further things that could motivate you. Hanging out with people who make you jealous, going to high end bars/restaurants/hotels for getting pissed off by how rich other people are compared to you, gathering prices of specific things you want, and how long it would take at your job & saving rate to get that, etc.

But "FTEs" aren't that useful a concept. New businessmen feel like saying eff this far more often than salarymen. The salaryman feels it Monday morning & when returning from holiday & that's it. He gets into the office, gets his coffee, chats, browses the net, and maybe by noon is starting some work.

The businessman has no such luxury. He makes his life much worse, in pursuit of it being in the future much better.

If you can't do that, you need to work on hardening yourself by deliberately going out of your comfort zone.

You want to be rich, but you don't want it to hurt. Like 99% of people. Modify your relationship with pain.

You’re right, I don’t want it to hurt. Not necessarily because of myself but my wife and kids. I’m so cautious because I don’t want my actions to negatively affect them even if long term it will be life altering


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GoGetter24

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You’re right, I don’t want it to hurt. Not necessarily because of myself but my wife and kids. I’m so cautious because I don’t want my actions to negatively affect them even if long term it will be life altering
Then you're aiming too far up the salaryman<->businessman curve. You can't afford the risk of launching into a business idea (unless you've already got high capital), and your body knows that and is holding you back.

Start by freelancing for one specific thing (perhaps something that in your day job you see as having the highest demand) in what spare time you do have, at your current rate. Then work on raising that rate. When you're more confident with it, work on reducing your hours at work if at all possible (and then switching to a part time job, etc).

The giant step of just whacking your monitor with your keyboard and yelling "I quit!", and that "event" is the beginning of great things, is fantasy. You need to wean off the confidence of a guaranteed income with other forms of confidence: knowing you can get contracting work, having ample savings, having ample margin between your living costs and your revenue (downsizing things if necessary), knowing you can get another job if you have to, etc.

There are lanes between the slowlane and the fastlane, and carefully merging through them is the safest way to get there.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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MJ, really enjoying your Quora posts recently. What was the thinking behind contributing to the platform? Business play? Giving back? Bit of both?

A mix of a lot of things, including giving back, which is why this forum and my books exist in the first place.

1) Exposing my writing to people who never heard it, or heard of the books and dismissed it as "get rich quick" stuff.
2 )Exposing the forum to more people.
3) Backlink juice. (Have no clue if there's any worth here.)
4) Outreach from my bubble here at the forum. ;-)

I discussed Quora a bit on the INSIDE with @MTF but thus far, it doesn't seem to pull much traffic to owned properties but does seem to have an impact on views, exposure, and maybe some brand awareness.

Can't say I recommend it one way or another at this point.
 

drgregw

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Then you're aiming too far up the salaryman<->businessman curve. You can't afford the risk of launching into a business idea (unless you've already got high capital), and your body knows that and is holding you back.

Start by freelancing for one specific thing (perhaps something that in your day job you see as having the highest demand) in what spare time you do have, at your current rate. Then work on raising that rate. When you're more confident with it, work on reducing your hours at work if at all possible (and then switching to a part time job, etc).

The giant step of just whacking your monitor with your keyboard and yelling "I quit!", and that "event" is the beginning of great things, is fantasy. You need to wean off the confidence of a guaranteed income with other forms of confidence: knowing you can get contracting work, having ample savings, having ample margin between your living costs and your revenue (downsizing things if necessary), knowing you can get another job if you have to, etc.

There are lanes between the slowlane and the fastlane, and carefully merging through them is the safest way to get there.

F*ck me, you just open my eyes! This isn’t about an event it’s about my dependency on “security” (or false security). I’ve been beating myself up thinking about switching slow lane to fast lane and never considered merging as an option l. This is really big for me!

After I read this I got a shower and in the shower I had an epiphany. The medium income for chiropractors is 80k/ year. If I did something that made me 50% more to where I’m generation taking home 120k/year and taught other doctors how to do that there’s built in value. For example if I have a killer system for marketing, scheduling and educating house call patients that made me 10k/ month with minimal hours (chiropractors like time off) and it was reproduce-able I could create online training modules or even franchise.

This approach is a merging approach, where I slowly start attaining and tearing house call patients and create systems. I don’t need much to replace my income so I could quit my job. Then focus on the macro details: website, software, apps, marketing all details that would be needed for me to run with ease and needed for a franchisee.


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DavidIonesi

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I've just finished reading The Millionaire Fastlane and started the first chapter of UNSCRIPTED , thought about reading the forum and here I am. I'm saying this because you clearly read UNSCRIPTED and you're referring to something from the book that I haven't read. But!...

From what I understood you're asking "Why the F am I not doing anything already?" You're asking for a Catalyst, some event that will make you think "That's it! I had enough!", the gunshot that indicates the start of the race, did I understood correctly?

If that is so, hear me out, I turned 24 a week ago, and I had some kind of Midlife crisis and I started thinking "Oh damn! My youth's clock is ticking! I have nothing! Where am I going? What do I want?" but this is not to say that it happened on its own. What do I mean by that?

I've been thinking about it for a while, I'm just like you, I'm constantly looking for reasons to create a sense of urgency. Create your own catalyst, become more aware of the facts! You and me! We are dying! Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back at yourself right now! What choices would you make?

Get a fake skull from Amazon and ponder on it, sounds crazy? Death can be a great motivator, remember those stereotype paintings about writers that had skulls in their hands or on the table? They used to ponder on death for this very reason. To remember that they are dying and base all their decision making on this fact so that they can get the most out of their life.

2018-05-03_2221.png 2018-05-03_2218.png 2018-05-03_2227.png
 
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DavidIonesi

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Then you're aiming too far up the salaryman<->businessman curve. You can't afford the risk of launching into a business idea (unless you've already got high capital), and your body knows that and is holding you back.

MJ DeMarco said in his first book that "having a job is as risky as being an entrepreneur", really loved that. It made me think and feel with certainty that "I'm striving to be an entrepreneur!" if the risk is equal, why not choose the most rewarding road?

Start by freelancing for one specific thing (perhaps something that in your day job you see as having the highest demand) in what spare time you do have, at your current rate. Then work on raising that rate. When you're more confident with it, work on reducing your hours at work if at all possible (and then switching to a part time job, etc).

I'm totally with you on this one, It's my action plan right now. To be honest I've had no problems thinking "I'm going to be rich someday." but while reading the Fastlane book these days and reeeeeaaaaallllyyyyy thinking seriously about it! FEAR crept in and DOUBT "I can't do this".

I realized that I don't believe in myself and I have low self-esteem. The book helped me with this issue also. It said in one chapter "I often see people on the forum going all like ""I want to make $5.000 a month! How do I do that?!"" again, people are looking for events, have you made your first dollar yet?".
 

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I’m a chiropractor, the usual way to make money is trading your time for it, there’s a potential to make good money but you’re still a slave to your office and notes and insurance companies. To break free from that my idea is to start a house call business but scale it so it’s a corporation. Similar to Uber. Different areas would have access to the doctor that is assigned to that area. Depending on the demand more doctors will be added.

That’s a broad description of my idea.


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Think about what you could do right now which could make that idea closer to a reality. Perhaps you could get one person on house call, and then a few. My guess is you need both funds and a system in place to set that up. Whenever you make a move towards your goals, it doesn't always have to be the right move, but you have to do something or you're stagnant.
 

Nannan

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So what was the outcome for you? Did that change your decision making or motivation? Are you in a different spot now than you were before you did that?

Checking your previous responses, I think you got your answer.

Short answer: I work 9 -5 still to keep my minimum expenses paid. I use the extra money for "education" my mom likes to think of investments that don't work out as tuition :). I'm working on my soft proofing and validating my idea from 6 - 12. I pivoted 3 times so far based on feedback, but I'm getting there.

Best of luck to you. Cheers! :fistbump:
 
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I’ve been re-reading Unscripted over the past few days, because just like MJ says it’s easy to start and make statements and never follow through. Action fakes all day. I’ve been struggling with that lately. Less motivation, feeling trapped, feeling complacenet, etc. So I re-read the chapter about the FTE last night and it hit me that I never really had one, even thought I thought I did. I’ve had a lot f*ck this moments but no single event strong enough to elicit a lasting change. I know you can’t force a FTE, but how do you have it? How do you know that you’ve been pushed to f*cking far and this is it? IS something you accept or does it just happen?

Would anyone be willing share their FTE and how it changed their life, motivation, actions or thought processes?

Read the 5 second rule by Mel Robbins. It is literally the "magic pill" to defeat procrastination and zero motivation. Make a list of what MUST be done for the day to reach your goal. Then count down 5-4-3-2-1 and than just move your body towards the action that needs to be done.

Still not working? Than break down the tasks even further. For example if you want to lose weight by going to the gym but still procastinating, break it down in steps.
1-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....put on shoes
2-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....get keys
3-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....get in car
4-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....drive to gym
5-.....do 1 set

Whenever I forget to use this rule, I sink to bad habits and get lazy...visualize a rocket ship in your mind and "blast off"!

@MJ DeMarco I hope MJ reads this book and puts it in his recommendations list. I feel it really is a game changer.
 
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having a job is as risky as being an entrepreneur
It really isn't though. A job is a byproduct of the businessman's risk. He keeps the risk and upside, but you get money now. You and your kids can eat immediately with that money. You can save that money.

There are safer ways to proceed than quit job and hope my fastlane business idea is the 0.1% that takes off before I go broke.
 

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Read the 5 second rule by Mel Robbins. It is literally the "magic pill" to defeat procrastination and zero motivation. Make a list of what MUST be done for the day to reach your goal. Then count down 5-4-3-2-1 and than just move your body towards the action that needs to be done.

Still not working? Than break down the tasks even further. For example if you want to lose weight by going to the gym but still procastinating, break it down in steps.
1-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....put on shoes
2-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....get keys
3-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....get in car
4-Do count down (5-4-3-2-1 move your body)....drive to gym
5-.....do 1 set

Whenever I forget to use this rule, I sink to bad habits and get lazy...visualize a rocket ship in your mind and "blast off"!

@MJ DeMarco I hope MJ reads this book and puts it in his recommendations list. I feel it really is a game changer.
You just reminded me of this, think I’ll listen to the audiobook again cause I keep forgetting to use it!
 
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> "having a job is as risky as being an entrepreneur"

It really isn't though. A job is a byproduct of the businessman's risk.

Until you get laid off. Then, you realize that the job you had really did come with a lot of risk. It was a nice ride for me while it lasted, but I honestly now feel a lot more secure being in business for myself. If things start having a downturn, I control what I can do to turn it around. To me, that is security.
 

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I just don't see losing a job as a risk.

If your business idea fails, you've lost significant amounts of time, money, personal wear & tear, etc.
If your skill specialization idea (college degree), fails to land solid work, you've lost years of effort and money.
Those are risky endeavors.

There is a risk involved in working a job, if the job insulates you from market forces until it's too late, and then you end up useless and have to completely retool yourself when the layoffs come.

But if you lose your job, you temporarily stop trading hours for dollars. That's it. That's not a risk in any strict sense.
 

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It really isn't though.

I just don't see losing a job as a risk.

Gonna disagree here, sounds like you're thinking about it too one-dimensionally.

He keeps the risk

Not really. The risk is indirectly absorbed by the employees.

When the businessman fails (or sees it coming) the employees are laid off. Whoops. There goes that "safe secure" paycheck. Sure the employee can't lose MORE than their check, but a lost check is enough to cause a full-scale cataclysm in their life.

You and your kids can eat immediately with that money. You can save that money.

Businessman takes risk and fails. Employees get fired. That does not feed the kids.

Until you get laid off. Then, you realize that the job you had really did come with a lot of risk. It was a nice ride for me while it lasted, but I honestly now feel a lot more secure being in business for myself. If things start having a downturn, I control what I can do to turn it around. To me, that is security.

+1
 
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DavidIonesi

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I honestly now feel a lot more secure being in business for myself. If things start having a downturn, I control what I can do to turn it around. To me, that is security.

Niceee! Another great reason for owning yourself and your workspace. Reminds me of The Commandment of Control.
 

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Gonna disagree here, sounds like you're thinking about it too one-dimensionally.
I love how you bluntly said the truth, I hope I'll get the same medicine if necessary, even if it hurts as a first reaction. The "truth" that I've been living for years now is not a truth after all, why wouldn't it hurt to admit that I've been wrong and wasting my time for years? But if this is what it takes to change my life I welcome it with opened arms.
 

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Sure the employee can't lose MORE than their check, but a lost check is enough to cause a full-scale cataclysm in their life
Well yeah, there is the reliance effect. In way being a businessman forces risk minimization, by holding larger cash balances and larger personal revenue-cost margins. Can't slouch to living paycheck to paycheck when there's no such thing.
 
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drgregw

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Think about what you could do right now which could make that idea closer to a reality. Perhaps you could get one person on house call, and then a few. My guess is you need both funds and a system in place to set that up. Whenever you make a move towards your goals, it doesn't always have to be the right move, but you have to do something or you're stagnant.

This is the route to go for sure. Start slow and small and pick up steam. I have a job right now where I work for another chiropractor at their office seeing patients. Would it be risky to build my own client base while working for them? There’s nothing in my contract about non-compete but it could be a source of disagreement. Would it be safer to get a different slowlane job in a different industry while working on my own thing? Or just go for it and handle the consequences?


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This is the route to go for sure. Start slow and small and pick up steam. I have a job right now where I work for another chiropractor at their office seeing patients. Would it be risky to build my own client base while working for them? There’s nothing in my contract about non-compete but it could be a source of disagreement. Would it be safer to get a different slowlane job in a different industry while working on my own thing? Or just go for it and handle the consequences?


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My uncle's business is basically a copy of the firm he used to work for. He signed a non-compete clause with them, however seeing as he left on good terms, they sort of just looked the other way.

So what should you do? Depends on your character. If they realize you're using their business to try and go your own way, would you be financially secure if they found a way to fire you?
 

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