• The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success
  1. The forum software will be upgraded on Sunday May 26th and may not look normal during the transition. Some functionality may be offline. This is TEMPORARY and is expected to last up to 8 hours.
  2. Join 50,000+ entrepreneurs
    who are kicking butt and
    winning their dream life.

    Unscripted™ Entrepreneurship:
    A Business That Pays More Than Money, It Pays Time.

    "Fastlane" is an entrepreneur discussion forum based on The Unscripted Entrepreneurial Framework (TUNEF) outlined in the two best-selling books by MJ DeMarco (The Millionaire Fastlane and UNSCRIPTED™). From multimillionaires to digital nomads, the forum features real entrepreneurs creating real businesses.

    Download (Unscripted) Download (Millionaire Fastlane)  Register
    Registering for the forum removes this block!

EXECUTION Spoiled Millennial Developing Self-Discipline

Discussion in 'Progress/Execution Threads' started by Jakeeck, May 11, 2019.

  1. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    What's up guys,

    Intro: My name is Jake, I'm 28 years old, and I have a seriously bad work ethic/self-discipline. A lot of times I feel like I have no executive control over myself and I struggle to figure out how much of that is due to my biochemistry (brain chemicals and such) and how much of it is due to being mentally weak. I came from a household where I never had to do anything hard, and I would just play video games for 10 hours a day without real consequence. I've always been an extreme procrastinator, and as much as it pains me to admit, I'm an entitled little shit.

    I also feel like a manchild at 28 years old.

    I realize I'm making myself seem pathetic, but I do believe there are a lot of people in my generation who are like this, and I'd like to relate to them if they're here. I've been telling myself that if I come out of this and can help other people make the kind of transformation I'm attempting to make, I will have found my life's work. So no shame.

    Short backstory: Graduated college in 2014, tried to make things work on my own as an entrepreneur. Over 4 years, I worked up 40k in debt struggling with depression.

    In June of last year, I traveled the country in a converted campervan for 9 months and ended up finally building a successful online business (copywriting) during that time. By September, I was making $10k/mo net income for myself and hired someone to do about 80% of the work for me. (I live in an apartment again as of 2 months ago)

    I'm now still making between $8k-$12k/mo net (12k-16k revenue) depending on how well I can control my mental state during any given month.

    I still have my main employee who has been with me for 8 months now. I work maybe 2 hours a day on average (it's been extremes... periods of high productivity followed by periods with almost none).

    I just paid off the last of my 40k debt 2 days ago which felt really good for about 12 hours, but I still struggle very much mentally and it feels like every day I'm just trying to tread water and not have everything collapse.

    I'm hoping this thread can help me change that.

    My goal for this thread: To keep myself accountable with daily updates on how I spent my time the day before.

    Currently I...

    - Spend way too much time watching Youtube
    - Spend way too much time following the NBA
    - Spend way too much time browsing Reddit
    - Spend way too much time researching health stuff
    - Have a hard time keeping a consistent diet (extremes once again... about 70% of the time I'm on a great streak of eating healthy and then 30% of the time I try to soothe my emotions with food and go on 7-14 day junk food binges)

    How I'm trying to improve my health: I debated whether or not to include this section because what I think I have is highly controversial. I believe I have mercury poisoning from dental amalgams (the silver fillings are 50% mercury).

    If anyone cares or relates to what I'm going through and has those fillings, here's a link:

    https://www.westonaprice.org/health...cutler-protocol-to-address-mercury-poisoning/

    I'd like to not make this thread about discussing the legitimacy of that because I do realize it's quite "out there" and generally unheard of. You can come to your own conclusions on it. I do acknowledge that there's some chance I'm a hypochondriac, which would be another mental issue in itself I suppose.

    So what I'm doing is:

    1. Following the detox protocol for getting the mercury out of my body (I had my silver fillings replaced early 2018). Coincidentally or not, I started to get my shit together shortly afterwards. I still go through very tough mental spells though so it's hard to determine whether I'm truly getting better because of it.

    2. I work with a therapist on Betterhelp.com (online therapy service where you have video calls with a counselor). I really like my counselor, but honestly, I haven't felt like I've gotten much value from this yet, but I'm still trying to give it a fair shot.

    Daily Tracking of Self-Discipline: My simple goal here is to spend more hours being productive on a monthly basis. Daily or weekly I'm not going to pay much attention to. I just want to see my hours of productivity go up month to month, even if it's just tiny improvements.

    So I guess I'll just start for yesterday. I've been struggling mentally again lately, so it's not looking pretty at the moment.

    Youtube: 5 hours
    Reddit: 1 hour
    NBA: 2 hours
    Health Stuff: 2 hours
    Diet: Bad (I couldn't control my impulse to get a whole box of choc chip cookies, which I also had for breakfast today)
    Hours worked: 0

    I am in very good physical shape (at least on the exterior) because I have an athletic body type and play sports semi-often. The issue is that strenuous exercise really saps my mental energy instead of rejuvenating me, so I do better with walks and less strenuous exercise like yoga.

    I was a weightlifter for a decade until May of last year. I haven't lifted since then, and I believe it has helped me focus more energy on my business. I was worried I'd be letting go of a major piece of my identity and would be sad to lose a large chunk of the muscle I worked for. Though I have lost a good bit of muscle, I'm still happy with how I look and I care a lot less than I thought I would.

    Couple other things I want to do:

    Quit smoking weed (I use it as a sleep aid only): Smoked last night
    (I started doing this in August of last year after never smoking in my life... was in CO and tried it out and it really helped me to fall asleep... but I do believe there's no such thing as a free lunch and I don't want to become dependent on it to sleep).
    Be in bed at 9pm: 10pm last night
    Wake up at 5am: Woke up at 8am today
    Meditate 15 mins: No
    Yoga 15 mins: No

    I'm also going to grade my mental state to have a log of that and start making some correlations.

    Mental state today: 3/10

    Notes: My urge is to sit here and wait for replies to my thread, but I'm going to fight that and get some work done and check later.

    I also have a Saturday tradition with my sister and her BF where we go to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and then to an ale house after. It's always very hard for me to get work done when I have something exciting planned. I tend to just give myself an easy day of watching Youtube and wait for the time to come. I'm going to try and fight that as well today.

    I also re-read this entire thing I wrote 3x now (anyone else do that?) which reminds me that I'm a perfectionist. I consider it a blessing and a curse. It helps me provide a better overall service in my business, but it also hurts/stunts me in a lot of ways as well.
     
    Jon Rad, RazorCut, Mutant and 14 others like this.
  2. Timmy C
    Online

    Timmy C I Will Not Stop! Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    625
    Likes Received:
    1,197
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2018
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Rep Bank:
    $5,184
    Great post mate.

    You sound like you have some issues but you've recognised them and are sorting them out.

    Your attitude seems to be in the right place.

    I have struggled with this stuff to and still do to a certain degree, so I can relate a little bit with some of the things you posted, especially around YouTube, etc.
     
    RazorCut, NMdad and Jakeeck like this.
  3. GoodluckChuck
    Offline

    GoodluckChuck Grateful Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    917
    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2017
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    my house
    Rep Bank:
    $7,093
    Sounds like you have a lot going on. You're also very hard on yourself. You might make it a priority to give yourself a break.

    You are earning enough to be comfortable so maybe being comfortable is part of the problem. If you had to work to avoid starving, would you work harder?

    A lot of the things you listed as vices can be partially avoided pretty easily. Like Reddit is easy to avoid. Delete the app and block it on your computer.

    But, it doesn't seem like Reddit or NBA is your problem. You just don't seem to have good enough reasons to follow through on your goals.

    Like you say you want to meditate and do yoga. Why?

    You say you want to work more. Why? Sounds like you make enough money working 2 hrs per day. What's the point of working more?

    Without the right reasons I doubt you'll be able to change. You can't rule over yourself like a tyrant. That never works. You have to treat yourself like you would someone else you are trying to help.

    Relax and stop being so critical of yourself and start looking for better questions and I'm sure you'll find better answers.
     
    Mutant, KeepGoin, LA_Jau and 6 others like this.
  4. Fastlane Liam
    Offline

    Fastlane Liam Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    360
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2018
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Rep Bank:
    $3,163
    I kind of feel like you, maybe a few years behind you. 22 Myself and struggle with alot of the same procrastination you mentioned. Also trying to see a councillor and eat healthier but haven't got into the Detox type stuff yet. Can you explain what kind of clients you copywrite for and where you find work? Again, read practice copywriting myself a bit but only done the odd job through upwork or fiverr. Congrats on working towards improving yourself, sounds like you're on the right track. Cheers
     
    Jakeeck likes this.
  5. Mattie
    Offline

    Mattie Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    2,798
    Likes Received:
    3,746
    Joined:
    May 28, 2014
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Rep Bank:
    $29,653
    Where do you buy this weed? If it's off the street and not regulated marijuana prescribed by a physician, it can be creating your Mental Health issues due to idea it's laced with what every time you smoke it. There are studies where it causes Schizophrenia, and other mental health issues.

    You say you're physically fit already. Do you have a routine for this like certain days a week? Usually many people have a week schedule in place where they do certain things each day.

    You didn't say if you have been to a therapist offline in your local area, or been to a physician to rule out biological factors which may lead to Mental Health problems. Example: Being a Diabetic. I can't say enough how important a basic physical exam is in the situation before going to a Mental Health Professional, because there can be all kinds of things happening biologically that can be missed by a therapist.

    Offline therapist is able to sit with you physically observe your whole body language and perhaps give you local community support groups. While you can get quality therapy online, testing some of those sites my self, they really only listen to you in my experience and let you talk about your problems.

    Are they giving you suggestions and ideas how to get your mind focused, solution focused, and goal oriented to achieving what you desire to achieve?

    It sounds as if you're saying you are successful with your projects, but having some kind of struggle mentally, but not actually clear about what your stating is happening. Darting thoughts between the inner critic and external critic. Self-dialogue of negative comments to self.

    You made a list of how you spend your leisure time. Which is just exchanging one habit for another habit. What is related to Entrepreneurship that is equivalent to replacing your focus in those areas?

    Usually the best way to conquer anything is eliminating one thing at a time until you reach self-master it and moving on to the next thing on your list.

    It's all about diverting your attention, regulating your emotions, and training your focal point. What your focused on.
     
    Jakeeck likes this.
  6. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449

    PM'd

    Bolded my responses
     
  7. MJ DeMarco
    Offline

    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

    Messages:
    28,045
    Likes Received:
    93,345
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Rep Bank:
    $404,701
    Admin Post
    You should be proud of what you accomplished thus far earning a six figure income. Give yourself some kudos.

    As for why you lack motivation, it's quite simple: You don't have a larger vision or a purpose. This is why NBA, Reddit, et. al. is a distraction. When you identify a larger purpose (can be serious or trivial) nothing else can compete.
     
  8. NMdad
    Offline

    NMdad Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    789
    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2017
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Mexico
    Rep Bank:
    $4,728
    Who do you surround yourself with? Even if you're completely isolated socially, you can still surround yourself with the kind of people acting the way you want to become--by reading books (like "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink & "Relentless" by Tim Grover), podcasts (highly recommend the MFCEO project), and this forum.

    Do you have someone you can be accountable to?
     
    Jon Rad and Jakeeck like this.
  9. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    Hours worked Saturday: 1.5 Mental state: 4/10
    Hours worked Sunday: .5 Mental state: 6/10

    Had a lot of philosophical convo with a friend Saturday night. I've been thinking about something for a while, which is that everyone is already trying their best -- given the "operating system" they have.

    A lot of times you look at someone, or even yourself, and think "he/she/I could do better, could try harder." Can they/you? If they can, why aren't they? Everyone, including myself, wants to do better, knows they should do better, wants more out of life... so where's the disconnect? In my eyes, it just comes down to a finite amount of energy that everyone has to allocate throughout their day.

    I truly do feel like everyone is already trying their hardest given their circumstances. If they could do better, they would. Nobody chooses to be lazy. Laziness is a symptom of low energy.

    An external stimulus (mentor, coach, motivational video, seminar, etc) might get you to produce more in the short-term, but once that external stimulus is taken away, you fall back to your default level of energy. And just because you "fall" back doesn't mean you're not trying your best. You're still doing your best, it's just you no longer have that external stimulus, for whatever reason that might be (lost your coach/mentor, the motivational video doesn't have the same effect, the high from the seminar wears off, etc).

    For many, purpose is that external stimulus, which I am jealous of. I don't understand how people find purpose. Well, I do, but I don't understand how they commit to it 100% and never have anything replace it. I don't understand how they keep the fire going.

    I've had -- many times -- what I thought was my purpose. Then a month later I'm questioning that purpose. I don't feel its power and effects anymore. It doesn't motivate me anymore. It doesn't seem important. Then I fall into a funk for weeks until I think of my next "purpose", except it's never actually a purpose at all. Just another "jet boost" to give me a round of motivation before I stop caring about that purpose again.

    I guess just keep fighting until you find the one that sticks?

    I'm not surrounded by anyone I'd like to become, that's for sure. The people who are what I want to become intimidate me and so I can never break into those groups and surround myself with those people. It just seems like they're on another plane of energy that I can't keep up with and can't offer any value to.

    I only feel accountable to two people... myself, because I never want to be as low again as I was while in a mountain of debt with hardly any income.

    And then I also feel accountable to my employee because I want to provide him with a steady job that provides consistent income and gives him the freedom to work on his own schedule.
     
  10. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449

    Saturday


    Youtube: 4 hours
    Reddit: 1 hour
    NBA: 1 hour
    Health Stuff: 1 hour
    Diet: 7/10, only because I had a few beers at night

    Hours worked: 1.5


    Quit smoking weed? No, I smoked last night
    Be in bed at 9pm: midnight
    Wake up at 5am: Up at 8:30
    Meditate 15 mins: No
    Yoga 15 mins: No


    Sunday

    Youtube: 2 hours
    Reddit: 1 hour
    NBA: 3 hours
    Health Stuff: 0 hours
    Diet: 4/10… mother’s day with family so went out to eat/drank a bunch

    Hours worked: .5

    Quit smoking weed? No, I smoked last night
    Be in bed at 9pm: midnight
    Wake up at 5am: Up at 8:30
    Meditate 15 mins: No
    Yoga 15 mins: No

    I’m OK with these 2 days working out how they did because I got some social time in and was able to improve my mental state going into Monday.

    Today I want to work for minimum 3 hours, and I want to be in bed by 9pm. That would be a win for me today.

    I only have 1 or 2 nights of weed left to smoke as well, so that's about to be done soon.
     
  11. Insidious
    Offline

    Insidious Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    39
    Joined:
    May 3, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Rep Bank:
    $253
    Ignoring the word 'trying'.. everyone DOES their 'best' at the moment that they're taking action. The feeling of 'I could have done better' is the ego trying to ignore reality and cling to the claim that you're an 'above average' snowflake.

    Your actions are a very good indication of who you really are right now. And that's where the opening lies. You're not doomed to the you of this moment.

    As long as you're a living being, you're changing. That change can be negative (getting fatter, lazier, more riddled with cancer cells) or positive (getting stronger, leaner, more full of energy).

    The great thing about being a human being is that, unlike a plant, you can actually control the inputs that determine your health as an organism. A plant get as much fertilizer, water & sun as its environment contains. A human can choose it's environment, and can recognize the effects of it's environment and other inputs on it's health as an organism.

    The human can also choose to deliberately reprogram it's operating system, or to seek out and give permission to someone else to help reprogram it for them.

    Bottom line. As a human, you are not a victim. Choose and then act.

    Your current state is not your permanent state. If it were you'd still be unable to walk, speak, cognate, or stop shitting in your diapers.

    People do choose to be lazy. Lazy is a default lizard brain program designed to keep you safe in hostile environments. It's basically: unless you need something for survival (food, water) lie here in the cave where it's safe. Laziness must be actively (with energy) overcome, especially for desires that can't be immediately gratified.

    Laziness is not a symptom of low energy. Laziness is a symptom of low motivation. The emotion that contains the activity of 'laziness' is apathy. The 'life view' of apathy: Life is HOPELESS. Right in the middle of that apathetic laziness, despair rears it's ugly head.

    Post is getting long and preachy, so I'm going to stop here. But there are HIGHER ENERGY emotional states. Thru action and mental focus (habits), you can experience and maintain them on a daily basis.

    Feel them, notice the level of energy they contain:
    Courage (Super Hero movie) -> Willingness -> Acceptance -> Reason (Einstein)-> Love (Oprah) -> Joy -> Peace (Mandela)
     
    KeepGoin likes this.
  12. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    There's an assumption here that humans have complete control over themselves, and in my experience and observations, this is not the case. It's entirely dependent on the health of your brain, specifically your prefrontal cortex.

    Children with autism are an extreme example, but as you may know, they have no capacity to control their behaviors and emotions. Everyone you meet is on this spectrum of control. Let's say a child with extreme autism has 0. What do I have? Well, I don't know, but it's definitely not 100, which means I don't have control of my behavior and emotions in some instances.

    This is why meditation is seen as such a great tool. The existence of meditation alone is proof that we need a healthy prefrontal cortex to improve control of ourselves.

    Then, you might say something like this, which I heard in a video lately. "You don't HAVE energy, you DO things that give you energy." "You don't HAVE motivation, you DO things that give you motivation."

    But here's where the chicken & the egg scenario comes in. What if you don't have the self-control (prefrontal cortex health) to DO those things that give you energy and motivation?

    I admit meditating helps, but sometimes I'm in such a low state that I can't DO the meditation in the first place.

    I know regarding yourself as a victim isn't going to be a popular view on this forum, but I personally find it upsetting that people just assume you can take the actions needed to get you into a better mental state, under this guise of "control". You're on a spectrum of control, you don't have complete control. Thus, you can only take actions that are within your control.

    You said:

    A human can choose it's environment, and can recognize the effects of it's environment and other inputs on it's health as an organism.

    The human can also choose to deliberately reprogram it's operating system, or to seek out and give permission to someone else to help reprogram it for them.


    Agreed. A human CAN do those things, but it doesn't mean it's within their full control to do so. It depends on where they fall on the control spectrum.
     
  13. Insidious
    Offline

    Insidious Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    39
    Joined:
    May 3, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Rep Bank:
    $253
    You can only work with what you have (obviously) but waiting for omnipotence before claiming responsibility for your life isn't going to get you very far.

    Yes, there are things over which you have no control. The weather, the government, your initial genetics, who your parents were.

    But there are enough things that you are in complete control of for you to live a "good life". Particularly after being blessed by being born (one of the things out of your control) in one of the richest & free-est (really) countries in the world, in an age where you receive an unlimited amount of free/useful information and advice (such as this post). =)

    ie. You don't need complete control over yourself or your environment to succeed. If you did, no one in the history of the world would have succeeded. You're not in an institution medicated to the gills and strapped to a bed. You have enough.

    On the brain thing. If you think you have literal brain damage, and not just flabby self-discipline muscles, you can do something about that too. Check out Braverman's The Edge Effect or Amen's Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. Try their prescriptions, note the effect(s). Adapt.


    If you like I can instead tell you what you want to hear:
    You're not responsible. You were born or became defective and there's nothing you can do about it. It's not your fault, they, or it, did something to you. It's hopeless. You're stuck. There's nothing you can do to change your life or become better.

    And hey, that makes you special, because unlike you, millions and millions of people have been born in worse circumstances: less health, less wealth, less freedom, less opportunity, less information and support, and have gone on to do and become amazing human beings.

    But that's not you, you're not like them.. you're special. Irredeemably weak, impotent and broken.


    Do you see how your ego is trapping you?
     
  14. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    I'm just going to keep running with this thought at the risk of being ridiculed and being called a victim.

    My belief is that our physical health and biochemistry is the foundation for good mental health.

    So someone who has a great amount of control over themselves has better physical health (organ health... outside appearance means nothing) than someone who always succumbs to their impulses.

    Someone who is never depressed has better physical health than someone who gets depressed.

    Here's the main issue I find with self-help. Healthy people are telling unhealthy people what to do as if the actions they do alone are the reason for their success, and that they weren't blessed with good health in the first place to ALLOW them to have the motivation and drive to achieve what they have achieved.

    Basically, anyone who is highly motivated and happy is the equivalent of someone having a beautiful face. You don't earn a beautiful face, just as you don't earn the ability to be a motivated and driven individual.

    Now, that's going to sit unwell with a lot of successful people, because their ego will not let them believe that they've become what they are with the help of any sort of luck or genetics. The ego wants to believe that you're the best and you did this all on your own. That you've worked harder.

    But that's just pretty face syndrome. It'd be like a supermodel acting like they earned the shape of their face.

    Before you hate me and automatically assume I'm playing victim and that successful people are just "lucky", consider this:

    Hypothyroid = depression
    Hypoadrenal = less ability to handle stress
    Hypofrontality = less ability to control impulses

    These are PHYSICAL things that cause mental problems. You get a depressed hypothyroid person on thyroid medication and they're a whole new person.

    If you don't have these physical issues, you can cope with life and progress no problem.

    Now, having said all this, I don't actually consider myself a victim. I AM taking active steps to improve myself, within my own level of control. And I'm doing it with a priority on physical health, because that is the foundation.

    I also believe that someday it will be my greatest blessing because I will overcome it and be able to help all the other people in my shoes who are continually being told to just "man up" or "take control" or "make better choices", and then wonder why they continually FAIL to do so, and then feel worse and worse every time it happens. The physical aspect is the explanation for it, and self-help is all mental... "THINK yourself into a better life" "MAKE better choices"

    When someone tells me those things, I'm like, dude, I've tried that 100x. If I were able to make better choices, I would. Who wouldn't?

    That's why I say physical health (again, only talking organ health here) is the foundation for being ABLE to make better choices or think yourself into a better life.

    Put me on adderall and I start making better choices. Why? Because I now have brain neurotransmitters that give me more ability to focus and control myself -- neurotransmitters my body is otherwise unable to make and regulate.
     
  15. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    This, right here, is what I believe to be the crux -- the disconnect -- in how successful motivated people perceive people who aren't motivated/successful.

    Your happiness isn't dependent on any of those things. You take a human and put them in all those conditions above, but you put them in a state where their body cannot produce dopamine, they're the most depressed person you'll ever meet. Doesn't matter where they live, how great they look, how great of a family they have. They're miserable.

    That is an exact study that has been done before by the way.

    So if the lack of one neurotransmitter alone can turn someone from happy and healthy into a depressed sadsack despite living in the some of the greatest conditions possible, what does that tell you?
     
  16. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    Then you say:

    If you like I can instead tell you what you want to hear:
    You're not responsible. (Not true, I am responsible to a certain degree)

    You were born or became defective and there's nothing you can do about it. (Partly true because genetics are real... physical appearance and the benefits that come along with that is direct evidence... this extends to your inner health as well even though it's not as obvious and no way to quantify it)

    It's not your fault, they, or it, did something to you. (True. It is not my fault, but that doesn't mean I have to give up. I can make the best of my situation, which is what I'm trying to do, even if you don't believe I am.)

    It's hopeless. You're stuck. There's nothing you can do to change your life or become better. (Not true and I never said that, and I even laid out the things in the OP that I'm trying to do)

    And hey, that makes you special, because unlike you, millions and millions of people have been born in worse circumstances: less health, less wealth, less freedom, less opportunity, less information and support, and have gone on to do and become amazing human beings. (I'm not special. Nobody is. We all have a unique set of circumstances and health that give us the ability to achieve certain things. It's really no more than that. It's nature. In the animal kingdom, there's always an alpha. Did that alpha do things to earn being an alpha? Or were they born with the genetics (bigger, stronger) and temperament (hormones) that allowed them to be the alpha of their group?

    We're all just contributing to this world in our unique ways.)


    But that's not you, you're not like them.. you're special. Irredeemably weak, impotent and broken. (Again, that's not how I see myself. Not sure why you're coming to these conclusions).
     
  17. Ritalin
    Offline

    Ritalin New Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    12
    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Rep Bank:
    $113
    I've struggled with internet addictions such as you have right now. I've managed to crush it completely by just going full cold-turkey. I use an app that allows me to block certain apps and sites. It's called 'freedom', costs 10dollars a year..

    Very good book about internet addictions is Cal Newport's new book: Digital Minimalism.
    Helped me tremendously. Been way more productive, have a better sleep schedule, way more willpower and just overall more time to do fun stuff instead of mindlessly scrolling fb/watching youtube while life slips away.

    I see you're taking action and improving yourself. I can only applaud that. Go get it, man.
    You deserve to give that gift for yourself.
     
    Jakeeck likes this.
  18. Insidious
    Offline

    Insidious Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    39
    Joined:
    May 3, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Rep Bank:
    $253
    It tells me they need to learn to control their dopamine. Which is entirely possible via diet, supplementation and specific types of actions (see aforementioned books).

    They may also want to take a look at Buddhism's 'making friends with your demons', or for that matter Stoicism (the original, not the internet version).

    Heavy metals? Chelation therapy time (I picked up quite a few heavy metals during Gulf War I).

    There's no reason to expect rainbows and unicorns all the time. Shit happens. Then what?

    As to action. Tried a thousand times? The SAME THING or different things? Tried one thing a thousand times or ten thousand different things? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result = ? (yup)

    As an experiment, write down how many DIFFERENT ways you've tried to increase your self-discipline.

    The 'what you want to hear' is exaggeration for the sake of contrast, almost included a /s tag. But at this point I can't tell if I'm being trolled or porpoised. =p ..seeds planted.

    As for your 'genetic destiny' comments.. already been disproven (see epigenetics). And yes, you may have been born with broken hardware, but as you already mentioned, a batch of lovely entrepreneurs and scientists already got together and solved that problem with a lovely little pill you can take. =)

    Attitude trumps genetics. Try Sean Stephenson.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
  19. The Abundant Man
    Offline

    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    1,287
    Likes Received:
    1,792
    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2018
    Gender:
    Male
    Rep Bank:
    $9,687
  20. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    It tells me they need to learn to control their dopamine. Which is entirely possible via diet, supplementation and specific types of actions (see aforementioned books).

    You can make improvements to anything, no doubt, but there's always a cap. You can improve your looks with good hygiene, by dressing better, etc.

    But what you're saying is also ironic because people who have low dopamine cannot (or struggle mightily) to get themselves to take actions that help them learn better dopamine control.


    They may also want to take a look at Buddhism's 'making friends with your demons', or for that matter Stoicism (the original, not the internet version).

    There's no reason to expect rainbows and unicorns all the time. Shit happens. Then what?

    As to action. Tried a thousand times? The SAME THING or different things? Tried one thing a thousand times or ten thousand different things? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result = insanity (yup)

    As an experiment, write down how many DIFFERENT ways you've tried to increase your self-discipline.

    (I'm not going to do this for the sake of time. I guess I just ask that you trust I've tried just about everything (some multiple times, yes, like Think and Grow Rich techniques).

    A few? Productivity software, website blockers, tons of self help books with different strategies (7 habits of highly effective people stands out, Miracle Morning too, Awaken the Giant Within, etc). Hypnotherapy, almost every diet you can think of, including very extreme ones like veganism, fruitarianism, only raw meat.

    The 'what you want to hear' is exaggeration for the sake of contrast, almost included a /s tag. But at this point I can't tell if I'm being trolled or porpoised. =p ..seeds planted.

    As for your 'genetic destiny' comments.. already been disproven (see epigenetics). And yes, you may have been born with broken hardware, but as you already mentioned, a batch of lovely entrepreneurs and scientists already got together and solved that problem with a lovely little pill you can take. =)

    Epigenetics just shows that we can change our genetics with actions. Of course that is true. But in order to take actions that push you in a POSITIVE direction, you need the underlying brain/organ health. Otherwise epigenetics changes your DNA for the WORSE. (poor choices/behaviors... actions that sabotage)


    Attitude trumps genetics. Try Sean Stephenson.

    Genetics (organ health) are the precursors for attitude :D (I doubt we're going to come to an agreement here)

    Sean Stephenson has good genetics and he's trying to tell me it's all my attitude. See the irony?
     
  21. Insidious
    Offline

    Insidious Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    39
    Joined:
    May 3, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Rep Bank:
    $253
    Sean Stephenson has good genetics? Sean Stephenson - Wikipedia

    Yeah, he sure is lucky with that crippling daily pain and possibility of dying by bumping against something.

    No, I can see you've made up your mind. You're stuck with you as you are, and there's nothing you can do to change/improve (you've tried 'everything').

    I'll stop watching this thread.

    Apathy -> Everything is hopeless

    I don't think you've hit 'rock bottom' yet.

    Not trying to jerk your chain. I've been there. Including crippling pain and depression. I'm not saying they don't exist or don't feel overwhelming while you're dealing with them. I'm saying you have to keep walking forward, or you get stuck in 'the valley of despair'. Even though you can't see the exit. You have to have faith that it's there and keep moving.
     
  22. Olimac21
    Offline

    Olimac21 Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    384
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Belo Horizonte, Brasil
    Rep Bank:
    $2,018
    Start small man, for me it seems you are trying too many things at the same time. Also read on how to implement good habits (The Power of Habit and Atomic Habits are two must reads).
     
    Jakeeck likes this.
  23. Olimac21
    Offline

    Olimac21 Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    384
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2015
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Belo Horizonte, Brasil
    Rep Bank:
    $2,018
    And based on habits theory, remember that for whatever action you want to stop it is essential to have a replacement action. For example if everytime I am hungry I order pizza it is not good idea to just sit down and do nothing but just eat/drink something else (fruit, water,tea,whatever).

    Good luck in your journey!
     
    Jakeeck likes this.
  24. Jakeeck
    Offline

    Jakeeck Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    615
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Rep Bank:
    $4,449
    Well thank you for participating in the discussion for as long as you did. It was fun.

    As for the Sean Stephenson genetics thing, I meant he has good genetics (neurotransmitters) for attitude, and I would have to guess that he has to be on a lot of medication to function normally from a mental standpoint. We all have our genetic downfalls, which is something I wanted to mention as well... I have great genetics in other departments, mostly outside appearance wise, in that I NEVER have even come close to struggling with my weight, even though I've always eaten more than just about everyone I know around me.

    Should I be proud of that? Part of me wants to be. But did I earn that ability? No.

    Also you seem to keep thinking I've accepted my situation as that I'm broken and cannot improve.

    Have you not seen all the action steps I've laid out for myself in this thread? As I've said 5x already, I'm doing everything I can within my control and ability to improve. I know for a fact I'm not stuck with me as I am. Just last year I was 40k in debt making pennies.

    But I got to where I am today by improving my organ health, which then allowed me to improve my attitude, and I'm continuing daily to improve my organ health, and thus my attitude will improve daily as well.

    Apathy is a mental symptom of physical health problems by the way.

    --------------------------------------------

    Anyway, my mission is this:

    To figure out why 99% of people who pick up a self-help book never make any long-term notable change in their lives.

    To me, it's not a lack of purpose, and it's not a lack of a bigger vision. Those are symptoms.

    My hypothesis: Without a healthy brain/organ system, you cannot find joy in a purpose, you cannot commit to a purpose, you cannot sit down and plan out a bigger vision. You have to be healthy first to pursue/do these things effectively. (effectively is subjective I realize and I don't know how to quantify that... I guess a starting point is not hating the process/having confidence in your decisions)

    The biggest obstacle to acceptance: Nobody realizes how physically damaged/unhealthy we are because almost EVERYONE is so unhealthy that it is the norm. This is getting worse as generations go on as you can clearly see in popular media and in studies that show the effects of environmental toxins that damage DNA.

    The sad part is that kids 10 years from now will be even unhealthier than the kids being born today, IF they can be born at all (infertility and low sperm counts).

    Caveat: Of course you can still pursue a purpose even if you're not healthy, but it's going to be a lot harder. You can still create a "good" life for yourself with less than optimal health.

    My goal: I just want to optimize health for myself and for other people because I truly believe it is the missing link in attitude problems/lack of motivation.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
  25. Insidious
    Offline

    Insidious Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    39
    Joined:
    May 3, 2019
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asheville, NC
    Rep Bank:
    $253
    Poking..

    Anger is a higher energetic level than apathy. =)

    Keep rocking your plan.
     
    Jakeeck likes this.

Join 1000s of entrepreneurs who are rewriting life's script and winning financial freedom.

---- ----

You must be a member to join the conversation.

Create Account

Join the community fast and easy!

REGISTER

Log In

Already have an account? Login here.

LOG IN

Share This Page