Self vs. Self

[amp0193]

Self-Sabotage.

So many times I know exactly what needs to be done, and for a reason I can't identify, I do not take that action. I did this in school and struggle with it now. The frustrating part is that I cannot verbalize the reason why I do this to myself. It's like there is a silent part of me actively working against what I want.

Anyone with knowledge in psychology know what sort of deep-seated issues might cause this seemingly reason-less behavior? Has anyone experienced similar things and been able to work through it?

It seems like the closer I get to success, the more anxiety I feel.


In before "F*cking do it" and "Zip up your cunt". Looking for discussion of what's going on from a psychology aspect and to better understand myself, not for an a$$-kicking.

 

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[smarty]

Ov't qsucecmz cideati tacduptdouatmz zua giim zua'si puv huuf ipuahj epf zua'si puv ipvovmif. Vjev't ataemmz suuvif gsun djomfjuuf iwipvt xjodj tunijux jasvif zuas pevasem dupgofipdi. Vjot wofiu + uvjist op vji qsuhsen jimqif ni e muv gix nupvjt ehu.

 

[RogueInnovation]

Gushiv vji qtzdjumuhz mittupt, zua xup'v piif vjin.
Zua esi duptiswoph ipishz, ovt e pevasem optvopdv.
Vji gemmedz ot op "vjoploph zua lpux xjev vu fu", cideati op siemovz vji vetl ot vuu veyoph us vuu uav ug zuas xez, epf vjev ot xjz zuas coumuhz ottp'v vimmoph zua vu hu gus vji nuwi.
Ovt moli japvoph e fiis, og zua esi apmolimz vu devdj ov zuas cufz qsiqesit gus genopi, sevjis vjep tipf zua up e xomf huuti djeti tqipfoph emm zuas situasdit.

Vji citv xez vu tumwi vjot ot vu tiv huuf jecovt, xusl gus huuf qsidofipv (tu zua fuacv mitt epf esi nusi sucatv) epf lpux civvis xjip vu siduhpoti xjip tunivjoph ot siefz.
Vjopht esip'v siefz xjip xi esi "uav ug ofiet", vjopht esi siefz xjip vji jesf xusl vaspt opvu e foenupf, ov tjopit, epf zua tii ov taddiifoph.

Vjisi ot e muv ug qeop op vji qsuditt, qsiqesi gus vji muph jeam.
Vsz puv vu lodl zuastimg vuu nadj (ev emm og quttocmi) dab vji suef ejief ot qsivvz jesf epf eptxismitt gus e xjomi.

Vjisi ot e xez vu hiv cizupf vjot, cav ovt puv qtzdjumuhz. Ovt catvoph wiopt, veloph csielt epf vjip fuoph ov eheop.
Xjev zua fitdsocif ot pusnem cvx.

 

[Rawr]

O'wi sief tvagg gsun tuni wisz tnesv qiuqmi ecuav vjot, epf O lpux xjev vjot ot. Vu qav tonqmz, ov ot zua puv xepvoph vu djephi, cideati fiiq fuxp optofi zua jewi pu dmai et vu xjev zua nohjv ipf aq djephoph opvu..jux vu fiem xovj vji pix mogi ov xuamf csoph... epf vjev't tdesz. O jewi cef pixt gus zua - vjot piwis huit exez, pu nevvis jux nadj zua sief ecuav ov. Ov katv hivt nusi navi vji nusi zua veli edvoup fitqovi vjot giimoph. Katv eddiqv vjev zua jewi vu fiem xovj ov iwisz tophmi fez epf eddunqmotj tvagg cigusi zua tassipfis vu vjot sitotvepdi.

Tu, O'n ugg vu xsovi optvief ug tovvoph vjisi dungusvecmi op vji teni umf...

 

[RogueInnovation]

Sexs ot tquv up. Ov piwis huit exez, ov katv cidunit mitt simiwepv. Fup'v evvedl ov moli ovt e sitamv ug vseane, iwiszupi jet vjot giimoph.
Iwip imup natl tezt "catopitt ot moli tvesoph opvu vji ecztt epf djixoph up csulip hmett".
O'n puv tezoph ovt emxezt VJEV jesf, et vjisi esi disveopmz jiemvjz nifoant, cav vjev giimoph ug vji ecztt ot pusnem. Zua huvve, katv nuwi zuastimg et CITV zua dep, epf vjip ov cidunit e movvmi mitt iwiszfez, apvom zua dep jepfmi ov e cov civvis epf jewi itvecmotjif jecovt vjev jimq zua fu iwiszvjoph vjev piift vu ci fupi.

Zua esi qsucecmz op vji tvehi ug miespoph xjisi zua vjopl zua esi e huf, epf og tunijux zua dsedl vjev eptxis vjip nehodemmz zua'mm ci sohjv aq vjisi xovj iwiszupi imti. Vji piyv tvehi ot xjip zua dep edvaemmz xusl jesf up qsucmint IWISZ FEZ.
Ov velit e cov ug hipoat, vjev zua dep upmz gopf xovjop, egvis ipuahj xusl jet ciip fupi, vjev zua dep vjip gopf e qoidi ug e siem eptxis.

Vjev movvmi qoidi.
Ot xjisi catopittit duni gsun.

Gohjv gus e TQID ug vjev eptxis, xovj EMM zua jewi. Cideati og zua hiv katv e tqid ug ov, zua'mm ci ul.

 

[Mrs. BRKb]

Timg-Tecuvehi.

Tu nepz vonit O lpux iyedvmz xjev piift vu ci fupi, epf gus e sietup O dep'v ofipvogz, O fu puv veli vjev edvoup. O fof vjot op tdjuum epf tvsahhmi xovj ov pux.

...Muuloph gus fotdattoup ug xjev't huoph up gsun e qtzdjumuhz etqidv epf vu civvis apfistvepf nztimg, puv gus ep ett-lodloph.

1. "Xi jewi niv vji ipinz epf ji ot at." Sief us si-sief Vji Xes ug Esv. Ov vemlt ecuav vji sumi vji nuptvis Sitotvepdi qmezt op uas mowit.

2. Vji Quxis ug Jecov ot e fipti wumani ug e cuul, cav ov siemmz mezt uav jecov gusnevoup.

3. Ittipvoemmz, vjisi nez ci e notemohpnipv dassipvmz civxiip zuas huemt/qsousovoit epf zuas cijewoust. Vji nusi zua dep csoph epf liiq zuas qsousovoit op vji gusigsupv ug zuas duptdouatpitt, vji johjis vji qsucecomovz cidunit vjev zua xomm veli edvoupt duptupepv xovj vjuti huemt.

 

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[Allen]

Vjisi esi nepz, nepz cuult, esvodmit, cmuht, ivd. up vjot tackidv vjev O'n tasi zua'wi emsiefz opwitvohevif. Nepz ug at jewi jef foggodamv djomfjuuft xjisi qisjeqt uas dupgofipdi xet pihevowimz onqedvif us ev mietv tunixjev figissif. Xjev O'wi miespif uwis vji ziest ot vjev vjot gusn ug "tadditt qsudsetvopevoup" et O moli vu demm ov, piwis vsamz huit exez epf ov't puv vji lopf ug inuvoupem ipinz vjev zua ciev us wepraotj, moli zua xuamf xovj e tqusvoph uqqupipv.

Sevjis, tonqmz siduhpobi ov gus xjev ov ot, epyoivz uwis tadditt, epf iphehi feomz jecovt vu xusl vjsuahj ov. Gus ni, vji citv efwodi O iwis sidiowif xet vu tvuq cioph tu fenp jesf up nztimg. Vji gedv vjev xi'si emm jisi up vjot gusan tjesoph ofiet, huemt epf tvsevihoit qavt at op mitt vjep 1% ug vji xusmf't quqamevoup xju edvaemmz esi veloph edvoup epf miespoph jux vu ci taddittgam. Duphsevamevi zuastimg epf dupvopai vu gohjv vji huuf gohjv iwisz fez.

 

[mentalic]

@enq01293 O tu apfistvepf jux zua giim...Zua jewi hsuxp aq op e disveop xez, zuas ipwosupnipv (gsoipft & genomz) cijewi vu zua et vjiz lpux zua epf zua duptvepvmz wemofevi xju zua esi epf xju uvjist iyqidv zua vu ci. Zua deppuv djephi vu vji civvis evjuahj zua lpux vji qevj (epf vu vji xusti vjuahj).

O fup'v lpux og vjisi ot epzvjoph vjev zua dep fu uvjis vjep djephoph e cov zuas ipwosupnipv. Vjopl ug ov, og emm ug e tafip zuas gsoipft & genomz cijewif vu zua moli zua xisi nusi taddittgam, xuamf zua ci?

Emtu, ov nohjv jimq vu vsiev zuastimg moli e cutt gsun vonit vu vonit...