The Entrepreneur Forum | Financial Freedom | Starting a Business | Motivation | Money | Success

Please Help: Behaviour Change

Learn how to build wealth and win financial freedom the Fastlane way!

Say "NO" to mediocre living rife with jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence. Join more than 70,000 entrepreneurs who are making it happen.
Join for FREE Today
Get the books
Remove ads? Join Fastlane INSIDERS
(Registration removes this block)
Anything related to matters of the mind

Altaff

Contributor
Apr 30, 2022
56
51
21
Mauritius
I have been trying hard to change my behaviour for two years now. The way I want to behave, it doesn't stick. I don't know where I am going wrong. I can create a habit like going to the gym, eating healthy, reading, not watching TV, basically anything and make it stick. But, when it comes to my behaviour, I don't know how to make it stick. Any book recommendations to change my behaviour effectively?
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

heavy_industry

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 17, 2022
184
381
What exactly are you trying to change?
Behavior can be regarded as any movement you make with your body.
 

Altaff

Contributor
Apr 30, 2022
56
51
21
Mauritius
What exactly are you trying to change?
Behavior can be regarded as any movement you make with your body.
One example is thinking like a "vulcan". I felt so good when I started thinking like one but it was all a concious process and it didn't stick. I want it to be subconcious, a habit.

I want to think differently. I want my old way of thinking to abondon me but it keeps coming back to tale over a new way of thinking each time I adopt one. For example: Three weeks back, I was thinking and seeing the world like an entrepreneur but now, my old way of thinking took over again.

I want to think in a specific way and think in that specific way permanently. I want that way of thinking to be permanent.

I was recommended the golden mindset post to read and I did, but, I still struggle in making my new way of thinking stick.

The longest period I went with a new way of thinking is 2-3 days. After that, my old way of thinking takes over and rule my life again...
 

heavy_industry

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 17, 2022
184
381
One example is thinking like a "vulcan". I felt so good when I started thinking like one but it was all a concious process and it didn't stick. I want it to be subconcious, a habit.

I want to think differently. I want my old way of thinking to abondon me but it keeps coming back to tale over a new way of thinking each time I adopt one. For example: Three weeks back, I was thinking and seeing the world like an entrepreneur but now, my old way of thinking took over again.

I want to think in a specific way and think in that specific way permanently. I want that way of thinking to be permanent.

I was recommended the golden mindset post to read and I did, but, I still struggle in making my new way of thinking stick.

The longest period I went with a new way of thinking is 2-3 days. After that, my old way of thinking takes over and rule my life again...
Now I understand.

You keep coming back to the old ways of thinking because it's very natural to you. And it's natural to you because it is you. You've practiced being that person for the entirety of your life.

If you want to be a different person, you will have to practice being that new person for a very long time. 2-3 days is not enough, we're talking about weeks and months here. It's going to be a hard road, and the old you will try to get back control. If you ignore it and push forward, you will eventually succeed.

Always take 1 thing at a time. Reinforce your thinking with action. Do it repeatedly until it becomes second nature.

You will become what you do on a regular basis. So choose carefully.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Altaff

Contributor
Apr 30, 2022
56
51
21
Mauritius
Now I understand.

You keep coming back to the old ways of thinking because it's very natural to you. And it's natural to you because it is you. You've practiced being that person for the entirety of your life.

If you want to be a different person, you will have to practice being that new person for a very long time. 2-3 days is not enough, we're talking about weeks and months here. It's going to be a hard road, and the old you will try to get back control. If you ignore it and push forward, you will eventually succeed.

Always take 1 thing at a time. Reinforce your thinking with action. Do it repeatedly until it becomes second nature.

You will become what you do on a regular basis. So choose carefully.
The problem is that in order to practice being that person, I have to know about the person first. Hence, I binge read and try to get as much information as I can.
Now I understand.

You keep coming back to the old ways of thinking because it's very natural to you. And it's natural to you because it is you. You've practiced being that person for the entirety of your life.

If you want to be a different person, you will have to practice being that new person for a very long time. 2-3 days is not enough, we're talking about weeks and months here. It's going to be a hard road, and the old you will try to get back control. If you ignore it and push forward, you will eventually succeed.

Always take 1 thing at a time. Reinforce your thinking with action. Do it repeatedly until it becomes second nature.

You will become what you do on a regular basis. So choose carefully.
Do you have any book recommendations on identity/character building other than the one MJ already recommended "Transform Your Habits" in the identity technique? I believe that I am building my identity in a wrong way.
 

Angler

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
Sep 9, 2021
121
261
20
The problem is that in order to practice being that person, I have to know about the person first. Hence, I binge read and try to get as much information as I can.

Do you have any book recommendations on identity/character building other than the one MJ already recommended "Transform Your Habits" in the identity technique? I believe that I am building my identity in a wrong way
Personality isn't permanent is a crucial one. There's also Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Both encourage you to get to know yourself better and experience things to know what makes you tick.

The first recommendation has a lot of exercise I think you may find useful. Every single chapter has a follow up set of questions. An example of the exercise include write an autobiography, not of you, but of the person who is you that has accomplish all your dreams and desire. From writing, you will realize the process that might entail to become such a person. You may see what you must give up or what to adopt in order to get there.
This of course, is just one important exercise.
All in all, this book will bring more clarity towards who you want to become.

The second one is pretty important too, in the sense that you don't to have try to be something you're not. In this case if you're an introvert, you don't have to try and be an extrovert. The argument that the author push forward should show you why you should find the middle ground(your own path or what makes you perform well) than to follow someone you look up to. I particularly like this book quite a lot too because it is liberating to see and understand why it's not necessary to do things the right way. At the end of the day, Who says it's right? Perhaps there's a better way of doing things. Perhaps what I'm doing is working for me? Etc.
 

heavy_industry

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Apr 17, 2022
184
381
The problem is that in order to practice being that person, I have to know about the person first. Hence, I binge read and try to get as much information as I can.
Put the books down, because this time the answer is within you.

Close your eyes and imagine the most wonderful life you can live. By your own definition, it doesn't have to be what the society or books tell you what you should want.
How would that life look like? What would you do? Where would you be? Who would you be with?

Now the goal is becoming the person that is living that life. What that person looks like, is entirely up to you to decide.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Altaff

Contributor
Apr 30, 2022
56
51
21
Mauritius
Personality isn't permanent is a crucial one. There's also Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Both encourage you to get to know yourself better and experience things to know what makes you tick.

The first recommendation has a lot of exercise I think you may find useful. Every single chapter has a follow up set of questions. An example of the exercise include write an autobiography, not of you, but of the person who is you that has accomplish all your dreams and desire. From writing, you will realize the process that might entail to become such a person. You may see what you must give up or what to adopt in order to get there.
This of course, is just one important exercise.
All in all, this book will bring more clarity towards who you want to become.

The second one is pretty important too, in the sense that you don't to have try to be something you're not. In this case if you're an introvert, you don't have to try and be an extrovert. The argument that the author push forward should show you why you should find the middle ground(your own path or what makes you perform well) than to follow someone you look up to. I particularly like this book quite a lot too because it is liberating to see and understand why it's not necessary to do things the right way. At the end of the day, Who says it's right? Perhaps there's a better way of doing things. Perhaps what I'm doing is working for me? Etc.
Put the books down, because this time the answer is within you.

Close your eyes and imagine the most wonderful life you can live. By your own definition, it doesn't have to be what the society or books tell you what you should want.
How would that life look like? What would you do? Where would you be? Who would you be with?

Now the goal is becoming the person that is living that life. What that person looks like, is entirely up to you to decide.
Thanks for helping me out. I am going to read "Personality isn't permanent" and I am going to do the "vision exercise" which heavy_industry recommended.

Thanks!
 

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Latest Posts

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Must Read Books...

Explore books recommended by MJ DeMarco and other members of the Fastlane entrepreneurial community.
Fastlane Bookstore
Top