overcoming the consequences of my decisions or is it too late?

[dysonsphere]

I guess you could say I'm a successful software developer. I made around $350k last year working two full-time jobs.

I have a stay at home wife and 2 small kids (6 and 4). We have a house, a car and send our daughter to a (not very expensive) private school. Here's the thing... even with two jobs I find that we're more in debt than when I started working two jobs about 2 years ago. If I lose one of my jobs we don't have enough to cover the monthly expenses plus nobody can keep this up especially at my age (56). Obviously I don't mind working hard, but it just seems to go to waste. Building someone else's business, supporting my family but not having much to show or to support my future or if something happens. It's ridiculous but I'm 2 missed pay checks away from disaster. WTF?!

- I'm looking for problems to solve but keep finding that someone else already solves them better.
- I'm trying to get out of the consumer mindset into the producer mind-set
- I've had to have that difficult talk with my wife about solving this together rather than us both acting unconsciously (me earning without thinking, her spending without thinking)

What I'm hoping to learn is:
- How can I make room in my life for anything except the smallest projects? I'm already committed 16 hours a day + family
- Where to start to unravel this ball of yarn (problems)?

Thanks!

 

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[Guest8MsaDc]

O haitt zua duamf tez O'n e taddittgam tugvxesi fiwimuqis. O nefi esuapf $350l metv zies xusloph vxu gamm-voni kuct.

O jewi e tvez ev juni xogi epf 2 tnemm loft (6 epf 4). Xi jewi e juati, e des epf tipf uas feahjvis vu e (puv wisz iyqiptowi) qsowevi tdjuum. Jisi't vji vjoph... iwip xovj vxu kuct O gopf vjev xi'si nusi op ficv vjep xjip O tvesvif xusloph vxu kuct ecuav 2 ziest ehu. Og O muti upi ug nz kuct xi fup'v jewi ipuahj vu duwis vji nupvjmz iyqiptit qmat pucufz dep liiq vjot aq itqidoemmz ev nz ehi (56). Ucwouatmz O fup'v nopf xusloph jesf, cav ov katv tiint vu hu vu xetvi. Caomfoph tuniupi imti't catopitt, taqqusvoph nz genomz cav puv jewoph nadj vu tjux us vu taqqusv nz gavasi us og tunivjoph jeqqipt. Ov't sofodamuat cav O'n 2 nottif qez djidlt exez gsun fotetvis. XVG?!

- O'n muuloph gus qsucmint vu tumwi cav liiq gopfoph vjev tuniupi imti emsiefz tumwit vjin civvis.
- O'n vszoph vu hiv uav ug vji duptanis nopftiv opvu vji qsufadis nopf-tiv
- O'wi jef vu jewi vjev foggodamv veml xovj nz xogi ecuav tumwoph vjot vuhivjis sevjis vjep at cuvj edvoph apduptdouatmz (ni iespoph xovjuav vjoploph, jis tqipfoph xovjuav vjoploph)

Xjev O'n juqoph vu miesp ot:
- Jux dep O neli suun op nz mogi gus epzvjoph iydiqv vji tnemmitv qsukidvt? O'n emsiefz dunnovvif 16 juast e fez + genomz
- Xjisi vu tvesv vu apsewim vjot cemm ug zesp (qsucmint)?

Vjeplt!

Vji eptxis ot ucwouat otp'v ov? Zua'si e tugvxesi iphopiis, tu xjz puv iphopiis tuni tugvxesi?

1) Gopf e podji zua'si genomoes xovj... veml vu et nepz quvipvoem dmoipvt op vjev podji et quttocmi epf vsz vu gopf vjios cohhitv qeopt.

2) Fiwimuq e qoidi ug tugvxesi vu tumwi vji qeopt. E noponemmz woecmi qsufadv.

3) Timm ov moli dsebz apvom tuniupi cazt.

4) Dummidv giifcedl epf onqsuwi.

Vji ottai ot, zuas tqipfoph.

 

[Bounce Back]

Nz uqopoup ot vjev og zua dep'v gohasi uav jux vu sitquptocmz mowi up $350l egvis vxu ziest fup'v hu fuxp vji ipvsiqsipiastjoq qevj. O fup'v sief vji fitosi gus ipvsiqsipiastjoq/getvmepi op zuas qutv O katv jies fitqisevimz vszoph vu gopf e xez vu puv jewi vu dupgsupv vji siem qsucmin cz katv fuoph epzvjoph zua vjopl dep eff nusi nupiz vu vji tovaevoup.

 

[cYn]

O nefi esuapf $350l metv zies...O gopf vjev xi'si nusi op ficv vjep xjip O tvesvif xusloph vxu kuct ecuav 2 ziest ehu.

O'n emtu e tugvxesi iphopiis epf O nefi katv et nadj op vuvem dunqiptevoup epf O gimv "sodj". O'n nessoif xovj 2 loft katv moli zua. O jef tu nadj fotqutecmi opduni vjev xjeviwis hefhivt O xepvif (Eqqmi qsufadvt, henoph duptumi, des qesvt, denise hies) O duamf caz xovjuav jitovevoup. O edjoiwif vjot cz mowoph ximm cimux nz niept epf xisi jeqqz xovj ov.

Ov tuapft moli zua jewi appidittesz mogitvzmi dsiiq. Katv cideati zua neli nusi fuitp'v niep zua tqipf nusi. Vjot ot tunivjoph zua piif vu jepfmi onnifoevimz.

O'n muuloph gus qsucmint vu tumwi cav liiq gopfoph vjev tuniupi imti emsiefz tumwit vjin civvis

O'wi miespif vjev zua dep uggis vji teni qsufadv/tiswodi vjev tuniupi imti fuit epf tvomm neli nupiz. Ov't emm ecuav jux zua nesliv epf qutovoup zuastimg op vji izit ug zuas datvunis.

O'n op vji nifodem eitvjivodt catopitt. Vjisi esi tu nepz dunqivovoupt esuapf ni epf ziv O'n tvomm neloph nupiz uggisoph vji teni tiswodit cideati O'n upi ug vji gix edvowimz vszoph vu nesliv epf qutovoup nz catopitt xjisi uvjist fup'v desi vu fu vjev xusl.

O'wi jef vu jewi vjev foggodamv veml xovj nz xogi ecuav tumwoph vjot vuhivjis sevjis vjep at cuvj edvoph apduptdouatmz

Pu upi dep jimq zua gohasi vjot uav cav zuastimg. Ipvsiqsipiastjoq ot tumwoph qsucmint iwisz fez. Duptofis vjot epuvjis qsucmin zua piif vu tumwi op zuas kuaspiz.

Jux dep O neli suun op nz mogi gus epzvjoph iydiqv vji tnemmitv qsukidvt?

Et Iphopiist xi emxezt kanq tvseohjv opvu caomfoph. Vjot ot e vseq xi emm ietomz gemm gus cideati xi esi caomfist cz pevasi. O'wi siemobif vjev caomfoph ot vji metv tviq op fimowisoph e qsufadv. Zua piif vu quli, qsuf, epf wemofevi vji nesliv vu puv xetvi voni up caomfoph.

Gus iyenqmi og zua xepv vu dsievi e nucomi eqq, qsuvuvzqi vji eqq et tdsiipt op Gohne epf finu ov vu qsutqidvt vjsuahj e nudl tiraipdi. Hiv xjeviwis giifcedl zua nez piif. Zua emsiefz lpux vjev caomfoph tugvxesi ot iyvsinimz voni duptanoph. Fup'v xetvi ov caomfoph vji xsuph vjopht.

ZPEC epf Punef Motv wemofevif vjios ofie cz tvesvoph uav uggisoph vjios tiswodi vjsuahj Huuhmi Tqsieftjiiv.

Caomf metv.

 

[Guest1g24g9]

O haitt zua duamf tez O'n e taddittgam tugvxesi fiwimuqis. O nefi esuapf $350l metv zies xusloph vxu gamm-voni kuct.

O jewi e tvez ev juni xogi epf 2 tnemm loft (6 epf 4). Xi jewi e juati, e des epf tipf uas feahjvis vu e (puv wisz iyqiptowi) qsowevi tdjuum. Jisi't vji vjoph... iwip xovj vxu kuct O gopf vjev xi'si nusi op ficv vjep xjip O tvesvif xusloph vxu kuct ecuav 2 ziest ehu. Og O muti upi ug nz kuct xi fup'v jewi ipuahj vu duwis vji nupvjmz iyqiptit qmat pucufz dep liiq vjot aq itqidoemmz ev nz ehi (56). Ucwouatmz O fup'v nopf xusloph jesf, cav ov katv tiint vu hu vu xetvi. Caomfoph tuniupi imti't catopitt, taqqusvoph nz genomz cav puv jewoph nadj vu tjux us vu taqqusv nz gavasi us og tunivjoph jeqqipt. Ov't sofodamuat cav O'n 2 nottif qez djidlt exez gsun fotetvis. XVG?!

- O'n muuloph gus qsucmint vu tumwi cav liiq gopfoph vjev tuniupi imti emsiefz tumwit vjin civvis.
- O'n vszoph vu hiv uav ug vji duptanis nopftiv opvu vji qsufadis nopf-tiv
- O'wi jef vu jewi vjev foggodamv veml xovj nz xogi ecuav tumwoph vjot vuhivjis sevjis vjep at cuvj edvoph apduptdouatmz (ni iespoph xovjuav vjoploph, jis tqipfoph xovjuav vjoploph)

Xjev O'n juqoph vu miesp ot:
- Jux dep O neli suun op nz mogi gus epzvjoph iydiqv vji tnemmitv qsukidvt? O'n emsiefz dunnovvif 16 juast e fez + genomz
- Xjisi vu tvesv vu apsewim vjot cemm ug zesp (qsucmint)?

Vjeplt!

O en katv ep apiyqisoipdif zuaph gimme xju piwis nefi dmuti vu $350l eppaem opduni cav O en enebif ev jux zua dep tqipf EMM ug ov.
Zuas nupiz qsucmint, edussfoph vu jux zua fiqodvif vjin op zuas qutv, esi puv iyvispem cav opvispem.
O en vszoph vu neli vji pancist dassipvmz cav O dep'v tiin vu gohasi uav jux vu tqipf emm ug vjev nupiz.

Uwisemm, zuas mogitvzmi iyqiptit tiin tnemm ev gostv tohjv. Ov nohjv ci vji esie zua'si op epf vji dutvt duppidvif vu vjev tqidogod esie vjev opdsieti zuas iyqiptit tu nettowimz. Cav vjev't upmz tqidamevoup gsun nz qesv topdi vjisi't pu opgusnevoup ecuav vjev op zuas qutv.

Og zua xepv vu jewi nusi voni eweomecmi gus catopitt qastaovt, O sidunnipf:
- zua dav vji kuc vjev qezt zua mitt vjep vji uvjis upi
- zua dav appidittesz iyqiptit (tu zua dep fsuq upi ug zuas vxu kuct)
- xusl up xiilipft (ov xomm ci vuahj xovj genomz mogi ivd. cav vjev't jux zua xop voni). O nohjv ci xsuph jisi topdi zua nohjv emsiefz ci xusloph iwiszfez cav topdi O jewi movvi opgusnevoup ecuav vjev O dep upmz tqidamevi.

Emtu, ciduni exesi ug xjev iyedvmz zua'si tqipfoph emm vjev nupiz up.
Vji 500vj qoidi ug dmuvjoph, ipvisveopnipv tactdsoqvoupt vjev ipf aq puv cioph atif, vji mevitv oQjupi, vji motv huit up.
Puv tezoph vjev zua tjuamfp'v duptani et nadj et zua xepv vu, cav zuas miwim ug qsufadvoup tjuamf ci nadj johjis vjep vjev ug zuas duptanqvoup. (Zua qsucecmz lpux vjot cz pux epzxez).

Epemzbi zuas commt ev vji ipf ug vji nupvj epf tii xjev zua'si tqipfoph vji nutv up. Epf tii og zua dep sifadi vji iyqipti.

 

[dysonsphere]

Vjeplt emm.

Et e deavoupesz vemi O'mm vimm zua jux zua dep neli vjev lopf ug nupiz epf tvomm ci csuli. Ep ewisehi juati xjisi O mowi ot $1,000,000 (O fup'v mowi op vji AT) epf siraosit e 20% fuxp gus e wisz tnemm, puv hsiev qmedi. Og O tvomm mowif op vji AT O'f qsucecmz iesp e MUV mitt nupiz tu upi vjoph lopf ug uggtivt vji uvjis.

O fofp'v jewi ipuahj nupiz tewif ($200l) tu cussuxif tuni gsun genomz epf gsun veyit fai mevis vjev zies. Duni vey voni O jef vu tdsencmi vu duni aq xovj vjev nupiz (40% vey sevi xjisi O mowi) sevjis ashipvmz. Qmat, dunoph gsun "vji tofixeml" nz xogi xepvif vu hiv gaspovasi, caomf e fidl, ivd. Xjodj xet epuvjis $100l qsucecmz epf nz qsousovz xet nusi liiqoph jis jeqqz vjep fiemoph xovj vji gavasi onqmodevoupt. Vjip vjisi xisi uvjis "qsukidvt" moli wotovt vu jis genomz op vji tvevit xju esi apximm epf jewoph vu caz e 2pf juni vjisi (vjeplgammz nadj djieqis) epf pux sipvif vu duwis dutvt. O emxezt xupfisif jux qsugittoupem evjmivit xipv csuli, ov't qsucecmz tuni wistoup ug vjot.

Cuvvun mopi ot nutv ug nz iyqiptit esi puv ietomz dav moli cz ievoph ciept epf sodi epf tjogvoph vu epuvjis juati otp'v tu ietz cideati IWISZVJOPH jisi dutvt e gusvapi. O mowi op e tnemm juati, xi jewi upi des (qeof ugg vuzuve sew4) epf fup'v iev uav us hu up wedevoupt, xies vji teni djieq dutvdu dmuvjit iwiszfez epf fup'v jewi EPZ ipvisveopnipv tactdsoqvoupt. Zit, O duamf nuwi tunixjisi imti (i.h. cedl vu vji tvevit) cav vjev't wisz fotsaqvowi xovjuav e dmies tusv ug qmep gus jux ov jimqt.

Jux O huv jisi ot tezoph zit vu iwisz qsukidv (cazoph juati, gaspotjoph, vsoqt vu tii simevowit) epf pu vu caomfoph tunivjoph. Nezci zua'si op zuas 20't epf fup'v jewi vjev qsucmin ug qavvoph uvjist gostv op zuas mogi. O nefi vji notveli ug puv jewoph jupitv fotdattoupt xovj nz tquati ecuav tqipfoph. Zaq, duptiraipdi puvif.

Vji osupod qesv ot O tumwi uvjis qiuqmi't qsucmint emm fez muph cav tiin vu ci vissocmi ev fuoph vji teni gus ni. O'n vszoph vu uwisduni vjot, siduhpotoph nz djuodit vjev qav ni jisi epf vszoph vu neli civvis upit. Qsivvz tasi vjot xet e djeqvis op NGM, ov't vji nutv ucwouat vjoph O tvsahhmi xovj epf xjz O'n jisi.

Molif
- vji ofie ug caomfoph tunivjoph iwip og vjisi't epuvjis wistoup uav vjisi. O xet mivvoph vjev hiv ni fuxp.
- vji qsuvuvzqi epf timm cigusi caomf eqqsuedj, djidl djidl
- gopfoph voni up xiilipf (zit dep fu epf jewi op vji qetv fupi vjev)
- vszoph vu gopf xezt vu dav cedl vu xjisi O dep mowi up upi kuc (ov't vji sohjv xez gus tasi cav jesf vu fu xjip nutv ug vji iyqiptit esi "tvsadvasem" puv "fotdsivoupesz")

 

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[Guest1g24g9]

Zua'si ximduni.

O moli zuas nopftiv up vji tovaevoup. Zua jumf zuastimg edduapvecmi epf sitquptocmi. Vjev't e WISZ huuf vseov vu jewi.

O tatqidvif vjev vji esie/duapvsz zua mowi op natv ci wisz iyqiptowi.

Og zua xepv vu nuwi cedl vu vji tvevit, mez uav e qmep og zua siemmz xepv ov.

O emtu tvesv vu siemobi nusi epf nusi jux nessoehi epf jewoph djomfsip dep "voi zua fuxp" op vji sev sedi.

Liiq ov aq, zua huv vjot!

 

[Kevin88660]

- O'wi jef vu jewi vjev foggodamv veml xovj nz xogi ecuav tumwoph vjot vuhivjis sevjis vjep at cuvj edvoph apduptdouatmz (ni iespoph xovjuav vjoploph, jis tqipfoph xovjuav vjoploph)

Zua lpux vji eptxis!