My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad

[jazb]

doesn't 46 pass for young these days? you older people will have to tell me since im a young naive 22 year old

 

[Mattie]

When I was 20 I didn't even hear the word entrepreneur. I didn't hear it until the last year. It's quite ironic I've always been around it, but it wasn't considered Entrepreneur, but hobby. I have a family of antique collector's, and people that think of it as a hobby. So, therefore it's not a real job, it's a hobby. lol I even remember at that age being talked too, because writing, art, photography, and all that was a hobby, and not a real job.

Probably I would have figured it out back than, I made my jewelry, dream catchers, and other stuff and sold it at consignment shops. I did a lot of things I could have made money off of it, but allowed people to discourage me. I was good at letting people talk me out of things. lol I suppose that's my fault, but when I turned 40 in 2010, it was the moment of the second twenties, so screw their plan, it didn't work the first twenty years, now it's my way, and we'll see what happens.

So, yes you're lucky, you figured it out early, and I keep pushing my son as well towards success so he doesn't make the stupid mistakes, but I can't make him either. I just plant the seeds. So yes, be smart now!

 

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[ChickenHawk]

Isn't there a rule about not using bar stool language around here? I know a couple under aged kids who read this forum and it's such a shame to have them exposed to this kind of language on here as well.

Just putting in my two cents...I think of this forum as intended for adults, even if some enterprising under-age people might opt to view and participate. I'd hate for us to censor 99.9% of the members to accommodate the small fraction who might be under 18. And if they are underage, I'd think they're mature enough to not lose sleep over the occasional use of salty language.

I DO think, however, that "barstool" talk of the locker-room (meaning blatantly sexist) variety is considered a faux-pas, which IMO is a good thing.

 

[Mattie]

Vigilante is a moderator so I don't think there's much you can do about it. And hanging out with my son's age group, they have extreme potty mouths, so Vigilante is really rated G compared to what I hear from them on a daily basis. lol Not to mention the F word is used on just about every site. I get tired of hearing it, but for some reason it's the most popular word on the planet. You just have to look the other way.

 

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[Emanuel]

Lol I like how someone just got in a hissy over Vigilante using language that is considered below-G rated compared to 99.999997% of the language I hear used on a daily basis by human beings younger than 18 years of age......

THAT's the real issue here instead of focusing on the fact that this Reddit post should scare the ever living shit out of everyone.

I thanked him for his post so I don't see what your problem is. Just because it doesn't bother you to read "f*ck, f*cking, wife was f*cking, wife still f*cked, up his a$$" from an admin on this site, doesn't mean it won't bother anyone. It doesn't matter if you're surrounded by people who talk like that all the time. I would expect people to control their anger and emotions better before posting on here.

Surprisingly, he was still able to get his point across even after removing the vulgarity so what was the point of using it in the first place? Besides, I don't think the real issue was that the guy's wife was f*cking someone else since he clearly stated that it didn't even bother him when he found out. The problem is his mentality. In any case, sorry for the divergence from the initial topic. I won't post again regarding this. It was just a small observation that got carried away.

BACK ON TOPIC: That guy can very likely live another 40 years so he needs to pull himself together and start making the changes he wished he made in his twenties. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

 

[twdavis]

Not to jack the thread, but as an aside, has anyone noticed how much of a blatant Sidewalkian/Slowlane vibe there is permeating throughout Reddit?

I remember reading this post recently in a thread about services available to rich people that the rest of the public can't have. Went like this:


Person one asks (with 8 upvotes):

So this isn't really an answer to the question at all, but I have a question. A kind of odd one.

How do the wealthy become wealthy?

Obviously by being successful at what they do, but what exactly do most wealthy people do? Are we talking like high end engineers? Or is it primarily business owners and stock investors? After looking at that James edition link one of the first things I saw was a house worth $66 mil. I'm just curious because I've always thought of 6 figures as feasible if you're good at the right major. But how in the world does one acquire $50 million?

To which the next person responds (with 15 upvotes):

If you work for a living, then you are not wealthy. There is the working class (also known as lower class) where people worry about making rent, struggle to make car payments, and maybe save up for a vacation. Then there is middle class, which are professional jobs like doctor, lawyer, software developer, small time real estate mogul, engineer ect. These people make 50 to 300k a year. They do typically work hard, sometimes harder than those in the lower class though it is hard in a different way.

The upper class make 300k+ per year. They don't have to work if they don't want to. All of their income is from investments in the stock market, or owning part of a family business that was started at least 1 generation before them.

Realistically speaking, the only way to become upper class from the lower class is to win the lottery, make it big as a rock star/movie star, or serious ridiculous crime. A few people make it from being born into the middle class to the upper class by having their parents leave them a lot of money (200k+) and then smart investing. And to go from being born in the upper class to staying (or moving up within) the upper class is to have a portfolio of investments given to you by your parents which is managed by people on your behalf.

There is no where near the mobility common Americans believe in despite the extensive research into economic mobility done by social scientists.

Anyone interested in reading more can do so here (pretty entertaining thread, actually):


http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gsocw/wealthy_redditors_what_are_some_services_or/


My skin is about to crawl away.





Ok carry on.

 

[Journey2Million$]

I'd rather not read any negative article where someone is whining and being very depressing.
I don't want anything to drag down my mental state. I'd rather just focus on positive things and keep hustling.
Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was around 60 yrs old (IIRC). Ray Croc started the
McDonalds chain when he was around 50.

I LOL when some ridiculous 27 yr old fool whines about being too old to succeed in anything.
I've seen that happen a bunch of times. They are so clueless.

 

[Yeezy]

His wife cheating on him for 10 years is horrible, and blaming him for it is cruel.

Hopefully he can find good in this and see it as a turning point in his life. He's already got step 1 which is the realisation, now step 2 is Change.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Something I overlooked before is he probably already is 'rich'.

He was a high powered banking exec (possibly investment banker?) for 20+ years and he mentioned that all he did was save. No small time bank employee is doing 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.

He can quit, divorce the wife, life off dividends and explore what he likes to do. Even in his current position, I think he's much better off than a lot of people.

Even if he has to give his spouse half, he'll be fine.

 

[Paul Thomas]

This post brought this passage to mind:

"We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

— Alfred Lord Tennyson, “Ulysses”

Some work of noble may yet be done.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Here's another one;

'I bought The American Dream on credit and now I can't afford the bill.'

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2lm71e/tifu_i_took_my_dream_job_and_it_destroyed_my_life/

 

[RazorCut]

Not to jack the thread, but as an aside, has anyone noticed how much of a blatant Sidewalkian/Slowlane vibe there is permeating throughout Reddit?

I guess it depends on the sections you read (I spend very little time on Reddit but use it occasionally for research believe it or not).

Those view points just come from having a blinkered perspective. They are from slowlaners who don't even know that that is where they are. They have no interest in building wealth so have never read a relevant book or conducted any internet research so all their information probably comes from the tabloid newspapers, gossip magazines and bar stool wisdoms.

There are loads of subjects I am ignorant on. I haven't a clue what the rules of lacrosse are for example but I wouldn't dream of writing about it as if I did as I don't even have a blinkered perspective.

 

[OVOvince]

so who was F*cking whos wife in the a$$?

just kidding haha

but ya, that post scared the F*ck, err i mean freak out of me.

i too have dreams of being able to do charity like that and help the less privileged when i am in a position of power with wealth and without.

as i read that i also thought of me being 50 and looking back and not having done a single thing.

reminds me of that Disney movie "Up" in a way....

 

[Mattie]

Age is a bullshit made up concept that we fool ourselves into believing is real. There is no past or future, there is just *NOW* - The earth just keeps turning and we exist in the NOW. Age is as much of a lie as the clock on your wall. We try to quantify things to conform with society. The clock represents the freaking sun and the movement of the earth. The numbers are fake and don't exist. Time doesn't exist, just as much as age doesnt exist.

I'm willing to bet we only quantify things like time and age so that we can conform to our cubicles at the right moment in the NOW, FOREVER.
And we make up 'age' so we can make the fake retirement and pension plan pitch when people decide to sell their NOW with the *HOPES* of sometime later being able to STOP.

When you think philosophical, you *LAUGH* at the fact that something like 'age' would stop you. When you go to work as a 40 year old male into a cubicle, your age is only relative to how many more freaking years of selling your soul until you can 'retire' , as you continue to know what moment in the NOW that you have to arrive at your cubicle and where to arrive in the ESSENCE OF SPACE to sell your soul.

Go live now, there IS NO TOMORROW.

I agree with everything you said!

 

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[mt_myke]

I'd rather not read any negative article where someone is whining and being very depressing.
I don't want anything to drag down my mental state. I'd rather just focus on positive things and keep hustling.
Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was around 60 yrs old (IIRC). Ray Croc started the
McDonalds chain when he was around 50.

I LOL when some ridiculous 27 yr old fool whines about being too old to succeed in anything.
I've seen that happen a bunch of times. They are so clueless.

Hey I wrote a post about this very thing!

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/index.php?threads/56865/

 

[airforsu]

Be careful, don't get caught up in optimism bias, because stories like this can happen to anyone, and just because you have an account on thefastlaneforum doesn't mean it won't happen to you.

I understand he really is acting like a sad sack of shit, but the message is still clear. You can either have "security" or you can take risks and and see what's given in return.

Unfortunately, he's spending his time and energy whining and complaining instead of brainstorming and doing.

 

[RunWithIt]

Hey guys found this on reddit.
Dat 9-5 can kill ya!


"TLR I realised I let procrastination and money stop me from pursuing my passions when I was younger, and now I am dead inside, old and tired."


http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2livoo/tifu_my_whole_life_my_regrets_as_a_46_year_old/

Reading that was a real eye opener. Procrastination is a killer.

 

[GMSI7D]

Sad story, but is a reality for many men in the world. I have known a few friends in the same situation. Hell I wonder where did the time go for myself, lol. 40 years feels no different than 20.


Young guys that are aware of the sidewalk path that can stay focused are bound for success.

This story is a great motivator.

yes

but i don't believe that a lot of young people will succeed anyway.

Why ?

Because we live in the first multi tasking and over communicated society.

https://www.google.fr/webhp?sourcei...1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=over communicated society


People can't live without checking their cellphone every 2 minutes.

TV, the internet, radios, smartphones , entertainments and so on are the ennemies of Focus.

My point is without real focus, you cannot do anything important in life.

 

[hellolin]

He could definitely stand to read TMF

He would jump out of his chair after he read the first few chapters lol

 

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[Kelly C]

Man!!! I cannot relate....

If I was going to die today, it would be as if my entire life has been fulfilled. I feel as if there has been so much packed into the time I have spent here and that there are not many people that have had some of the opportunities that I have had.

Now... there are many, many things that I have not done. That is not my point. I have done and continue to do WHAT I WANT. That is actually the mantra that my wife and I use... "I do what I want!!!" We have a funny voice that goes along with it. Some of our friends repeat it as a joke.

This is not selfish. I do things for others as well.... when I want to.

 

[tahowell2]

Thanks for sharing masaldana, and I hope you begin to loosen the chains that have held you back the past 25 years.

 

[Phenom]

Awesome story. Thanks. Poor guy but 46 is still young and I think he can still turn it around. Agree with @RichKid, the fact that he's honest with himself and realize what went wrong is already a huge step. But man it makes you realize how time flies!

 

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[Writer]

Only one thing left: Not to become that guy.

I wish him the best.

 

[Emanuel]

I don't get it. My life renews itself almost annually. I am his age. Starting 10 new F*cking things. Hell, we just started a radio show. A radio show? What the F*ck do I know about radio? NOTHING. (haters... you don't have to AGREE with me here...)

His message reads like he's 80 years old and looking back at a wasted life. The only salient point is he has realized he has bought into the lie.

Messages like his both encourage and irritate me. Encourage because he is trying to warn others. Irritate, because he has thrown in the towel.

I bet if it was HIM his wife was F*cking, and not some other guy, the rest of his life would still be worthwhile.

So... my fast lane advice to you younger guys is just that. If you are married, put her first. Part of putting her first is financially winning. It's a fine balance, but do you think if this guy was the one his wife still F*cked (after all these years) his life would end in the bitter mess that it is?

You can control this. You can change the outcome. Even at 46, if he didn't have his head so far up his a$$, so could he.

Great post OP. I am normally not a fan of Reddit (as I think this guy represents the MAJORITY there) but there's a lot to be learned from this saga.

Assuming the guy isn't just a great writer, and actually lived this. It reads almost too raw to not be true.

Isn't there a rule about not using bar stool language around here? I know a couple under aged kids who read this forum and it's such a shame to have them exposed to this kind of language on here as well.

Thanks for the post though. I agree with it.

 

[Emanuel]

Thanks Vigilante

 

[Mattie]

"Are you serious? Yeah, starting a business is really 'breaking the mold' of society."

I think this comment just kind of made me laugh. I've sat in here and listened to you all say you have to meet peoples needs etc. etc. and that has value for the customer what ever you're doing. I would assume entrepreneurs are usually breaking the mold by inventing gadgets and technology in just about every field to improve society. So, I'm not exactly sure what this entrepreneur in Reddit is planning on doing, but hey, what do I know?

 

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[CJC3392]

Thanks for posting this... I literally want to print it out and post it on my wall so anytime I have any doubts about my actions I can look to this guy and see where I do NOT want to be!!!

 

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[beatgoezon]

THIS...

My biggest fear...
Bigger than death honestly...
Bigger than being physically tortured...

Being tortured mentally like THIS...

 

[M Power]

Wow. That was the scariest story I think ive ever read.

 

[Shaheelm]

So sad to read. Not only did he waste so much of his life, also that his woman cheated on him. He must feel alone