Moving in with partner anxiety

[Skroob]

Wait until your parents get distracted, grab the cat and put it in your backpack, then leave.

Problem solved.

You and the cat will live happily ever after.

If there's anything I know about cats, its that they love being unexpectedly grabbed and manhandled into a container.

 

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[heavy_industry]

If there's anything I know about cats, its that they love being unexpectedly grabbed and manhandled into a container.

@bibbysoka Don't listen to the naysayers!

You and the cat are made for one another!

 

[JordanK]

Y'all act like culture makes a difference in the context of this forum where the founder literally wrote the book on breaking free from societal scripts.

I keep forgetting the forum transitioned into a support group for people with anxiety and cat depression.

You can take this argument and reverse it though. In the US the 'culture' pushes you to move out at 18 and you are seen as a little bit odd if you continue living at home without making an effort to move out. This is a societal script that many people here are parroting in this thread. You can have a successful business, relationship and life while still living with or close to family as many people do all over the world.

My own personal opinion is that I love living by myself and have done since 18. I think everyone should try it at some point as it does make you better equipped to act independently but it's not for everyone.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

You can take this argument and reverse it though. In the US the 'culture' pushes you to move out at 18 and you are seen as a little bit odd if you continue living at home without making an effort to move out. This is a societal script that many people here are parroting in this thread. You can have a successful business, relationship and life while still living with or close to family as many people do all over the world.

My own personal opinion is that I love living by myself and have done since 18. I think everyone should try it at some point as it does make you better equipped to act independently but it's not for everyone.

This was actually something I did to be a little more Unscripted . I bought a home at age 23 that needed work (had foundation issues in one room), I fixed it up (well, the foundation contractors did, obviously), adding 300 square feet to the house, sold it for 35,000 more than I paid for it, and instead of buying another house, moved back in with my parents for a year.

So you're right - that is another example of a script, because people look down at you for living with your parents. It was weird going "backwards."

 

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[bibbysoka]

What's interesting to me is that you already moved out once. So that is very different than you growing up and leaving at 25 for the first time. How come you could do it at 18 and now have issues doing it at 25?

How far away are you moving? It's not like you'll never see your parents or the house again or the cat. You can visit and have dinner 1, 2, 3, 4x a week. Until your gf gets annoyed at that.

Does your anxiety stem from moving in with your GF or moving away from your parents. What is the real cause? I feel like it's from moving in with your GF. I think most people would be excited about this part as an evolution in the relationship. Who's idea was it? Yours or hers?

Exactly.

When I left the first time, I moved far to go to college. Living in the dorms then my own apartments with different roommates each year.

I moved back after

You can take this argument and reverse it though. In the US the 'culture' pushes you to move out at 18 and you are seen as a little bit odd if you continue living at home without making an effort to move out. This is a societal script that many people here are parroting in this thread. You can have a successful business, relationship and life while still living with or close to family as many people do all over the world.

My own personal opinion is that I love living by myself and have done since 18. I think everyone should try it at some point as it does make you better equipped to act independently but it's not for everyone.

Thank you. I agree 100% as all my friends who live alone like “men” have no savings from going out on weekends and paying for their apartments. It’s the first time i have been able to save dozens of thousands

I also have a really big house and complete freedom. We have two kitchens and it’s made it easy.

I appreciate everyone’s advice and will use it

 

[Lex DeVille]

You can take this argument and reverse it though. In the US the 'culture' pushes you to move out at 18 and you are seen as a little bit odd if you continue living at home without making an effort to move out. This is a societal script that many people here are parroting in this thread.

I'm not sure who you think is parroting that. Nobody called OP a pussy for not moving out. The point being made was either OP has a choice or he doesn't. And since he stated goals and knows what has to happen to achieve those goals, then the choice to run toward comfort for fear of his emotions is the act of a pussy, coward, whatever you want to call it.

I also have a really big house and complete freedom. We have two kitchens and it’s made it easy.

Actually, you don't have a house, and since you can't come and go at will (because your cat, your parents, and your fears won't let you) you don't have freedom.

There is your parents, their house and their cat, and there is you and your comfort zone, fears, and self-made slavery.

We have two kitchens and it’s made it easy.

Breaking News: There is no "we."

 

[JordanK]

I'm not sure who you think is parroting that. Nobody called OP a pussy for not moving out. The point being made was either OP has a choice or he doesn't. And since he stated goals and knows what has to happen to achieve those goals, then the choice to run toward comfort for fear of his emotions is the act of a pussy, coward, whatever you want to call it.


Actually, you don't have a house, and since you can't come and go at will (because your cat, your parents, and your fears won't let you) you don't have freedom.

There is your parents, their house and their cat, and there is you and your comfort zone, fears, and self-made slavery.



Breaking News: There is no "we."

Well I mean he has lots of choices. He could move his girlfriend in with him to the family home if everyone living there is agreeable to it. If they aren't then it makes the decision for him to move out even easier. He is prioritizing his parents, if they don't want to prioritize his well-being by allowing his relationship to flourish alongside them then he has a misplaced commitment to them.

 

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