Monogamy. The idea of loving only one woman all your life?

[Spicymemer45]

But yeah I'm all with you @ChrisV

Perhaps I was overzealous because of I personally had extremely poor relationships and overall wasn't in a good place when I put precedence on just having a lot of sex. Thanks for your rebuttle

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ChrisV]

The Relationship Between Multiple Sex Partners and Anxiety, Depression, and Substance Dependence Disorders: A Cohort Study

Changes in sexual behavior have resulted in longer periods of multiple serial or concurrent relationships. This study investigated the effects of multiple heterosexual partners on mental health, specifically, whether higher numbers of partners were linked ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Yea exactly:

The relationship between numbers of sex partners over three age periods (18–20, 21–25, and 26–32 years) and diagnoses of anxiety, depression, and substance dependence disorder at 21, 26, and 32 years were examined, using logistic regression.​

​

This study established a strong association between number of sex partners and later substance disorder, especially for women, which persisted beyond prior substance use and mental health problems more generally.​

They used a regression. Regression analyses don't show what causes what, they just show associations. It could be that Depression causes womanizing, it could be that some third, unidentified factor is causing both. When we see correlational studies it's tempting to say X causes Y, but it's often not that simple, and you have to run other tests to see what's causing what.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc (Latin: "after this, therefore because of this") is an informal fallacy that states: "Since event Y followed event X, event Y must have been caused by event X." It is often shortened simply to post hoc fallacy.​

But nonetheless, it shows that all those things are linked and I think we should strive to be in the second group.

 

[Baubau]

Nice, i'm just curious how can you get along with older people. I mean when they're older they often demand something more pragmatic from a relationship. What do you give them (i'm not joking, it's a real question)?

That's very a good question cause she actually demands a lot from me. She's easy going tho and she also understands there is a significant age gap and she adapts, just like I do (she has 2 kids, that's the real challenge in our relation right now).

 

[ChrisV]

@MoneyHacker .. I wish we could move this thread into the public Relationships forum. I would love to hear the ladies' perspective. Would you be opposed if I asked MJ if we can move it, or is this private?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Brian Suh]

This is actually a good point. It's good to take your time to pick out a high quality girl to go out with. I'd recommend people to check out Stefan Molyneuxs youtube channel. There's some good info on there about finding a woman and starting a family(plus a lot of free market libertarian philosophy)

Also,
Let's be real: If you aren't married by 35 it's Over!

This shit won’t end eh?

 

[Brian Suh]

This shit won’t end eh?
[/QUOTE

This shit won’t end eh?

i believe most marriage comes from a scripted or from a xyz lifestyle. There is no rule to get married. IMO if you are in your 20s you are at your physical prime and should take advantage of that by having epic adventures with TONS of hot girls. Nothing beats having multiple girls in your phone you can choose from and girls THROWING themselves at you in the streets or public because they can tell you are in “that mode”. It’s an addictive lifesyle that can get destructive but under control is hella fun. I don’t want NO regrets getting older and making sure I have sex with every girl I find attractive. Sex is F*cking awesome and is one of life’s best gifts so take advantage young padawons!

 

[MoneyHacker]

@MoneyHacker .. I wish we could move this thread into the public Relationships forum. I would love to hear the ladies' perspective. Would you be opposed if I asked MJ if we can move it, or is this private?

Yes of course, I also love to hear from the ladies. It will be awesome if we could move this

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MoneyHacker]

Monogamy works [IF] she is the "right woman"
The Right Woman you will find [after] dating a lot of women

"right woman" i think is just a relative term. If i chase for the ideal woman, i will be chasing my whole life. It varies depending on the person, but to me, she just needs to qualify for some aspects, not all.

And also it's not necessary to date all women to find out who is the best, i think we can justify most just based on normal contact. As i see in my family, when my parents were married, they barely knew each other, the marriage was made by my grandparents. But they are now still together, after 25 years or something. There were fights and arguments of course, but after that everything was all fine. The one thing i notice is that they are all family-oriented. It's just what i see in my life, want to hear from other perspectives

 

[MoneyHacker]

i believe most marriage comes from a scripted or from a xyz lifestyle. There is no rule to get married. IMO if you are in your 20s you are at your physical prime and should take advantage of that by having epic adventures with TONS of hot girls. Nothing beats having multiple girls in your phone you can choose from and girls THROWING themselves at you in the streets or public because they can tell you are in “that mode”. It’s an addictive lifesyle that can get destructive but under control is hella fun. I don’t want NO regrets getting older and making sure I have sex with every girl I find attractive. Sex is F*cking awesome and is one of life’s best gifts so take advantage young padawons!

How come i once saw your thread on nofap, man?

 

[Brian Suh]

How come i once saw your thread on nofap, man?

Nofap does not mean nosex

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Brian Suh]

Here’s my main problem with monogamy. I’m only 23 and EVERY girl I’ve been with had a boyfriend when I hooked up with them. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Even that innocent intelligent academic beauty who seems pure like an angel cheated on her boyfriend with me. Am I some super stud? No. Just some random guy with some game.
I can’t trust younger attractive women. I simply can’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Doesn’t mean I don’t trust them as a friend, but as a partner? No.
The only way a girl will be completely loyal to you is if you demonstrate so much value to her that she would be an idiot to even risk giving that away. But that means a lot of WORK from you in becoming that .1% guy.
I’ve thought that maybe older women since they have more experience is the way to go but let’s be real, we all want a stunning beauty. Not to say there aren’t older stunning woman but it is not the majority.

I’ve honestly been my happiest when I had multiple girls I’m seeing but finally choose the one I “click” with the most WHILE seeing the other girls. This actually makes that diamond in the rough I’m talking about WANT YOU MORE. Please don’t think I’m talking out my a$$. You guys may have more knowledge then me regarding finance and business but this is an area I have been with for a while and understand deeply. Times where I gave up other girls and focused on her, the passion was lost and the sex less exciting.

Most divorces happen when the girl detests the guy while the guy adores the girl. As shitty as this sounds girls want the guys who can have every girl but chooses her because of somethin “special”. If you lose those things that made her like you in the first place you’ll lose the girl but most importantly you’ll lose yourself.
Trust me I’ve seen countless relationships and my own personal experience to fall for a LTR without being a complete boss of boss first.

 

[Real Deal Denver]

Here’s my main problem with monogamy. I’m only 23 and EVERY girl I’ve been with had a boyfriend when I hooked up with them.

23. That's the common thread. 30 year old women don't act anything like 23 year old women. Neither do the men.

You'll see, in time. When I've asked my friends what was the ideal age in their life, none of them said any age under 30. The most common answer was 35. This was from both men and women. Some said their forties. But none said their 20's (men or women).

Might be the topic of a new thread. Could be interesting.

 

[Brian Suh]

23. That's the common thread. 30 year old women don't act anything like 23 year old women. Neither do the men.

You'll see, in time. When I've asked my friends what was the ideal age in their life, none of them said any age under 30. The most common answer was 35. This was from both men and women. Some said their forties. But none said their 20's (men or women).

Might be the topic of a new thread. Could be interesting.

For sure. I definetly do not think one's 20's is the peak if life is lived correctly (20's finding and cultivating skills, 30's refining found skills, 40's hammering perfected skills). It could be an interesting topics with older men talking about what they wish they did differently and how they would live there life knowing what they knew now.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kevin88660]

If you are an elite man you can have the cake and eat it. Fact. We peasants have to think, choose and sacrifice.

Look at Trump. He has a series of trophy wives and meanwhile it is an open secret that he often patronise high class prostitution and try to “grab pussies” on celeb girls.

The trophy wife understands that as long as he love him and the kids and pays the bills she can turn a blind eye to the “imperfect but common flaws of men who have options”. I don't doubt a second that Trump loves his wife and kids. And I don't doubt a second that he is womanizer who doesn't retire from the hobby after marriage. He managed to find wives who understand “the deal”.

So perhaps for Tiger Woods who is the “known cheater”, he simply didn't choose the correct wife?

Trump seems to have zero repercussion from “cheating on his wife”. He can win a presidential election. He has good and smart children who support him. Perhaps cheating is not cheating when there is unspoken mutual consent?

I am not endorsing Trump’s doing. I am simply calling a spade a spade and not I doubt I am somewhat envy of him having the ability to have the cake and eat it.

What I am saying that monogamy or not might not be a question of morality. Whatever lifestyle you want to have, you need to find someone who can accommodate it, and you need to have the ability to offer value so that the “suitable someone” will give you what you want since you can deliver her what she wants. It is a “honest deal”.

 

[Spicymemer45]

If you are an elite man you can have the cake and eat it. Fact. We peasants have to think, choose and sacrifice.

Look at Trump. He has a series of trophy wives and meanwhile it is an open secret that he often patronise high class prostitution and try to “grab pussies” on celeb girls.

The trophy wife understands that as long as he love him and the kids and pays the bills she can turn a blind eye to the “imperfect but common flaws of men who have options”. I don't doubt a second that Trump loves his wife and kids. And I don't doubt a second that he is womanizer who doesn't retire from the hobby after marriage. He managed to find wives who understand “the deal”.

So perhaps for Tiger Woods who is the “known cheater”, he simply didn't choose the correct wife?

Trump seems to have zero repercussion from “cheating on his wife”. He can win a presidential election. He has good and smart children who support him. Perhaps cheating is not cheating when there is unspoken mutual consent?

I am not endorsing Trump’s doing. I am simply calling a spade a spade and not I doubt I am somewhat envy of him having the ability to have the cake and eat it.

What I am saying that monogamy or not might not be a question of morality. Whatever lifestyle you want to have, you need to find someone who can accommodate it, and you need to have the ability to offer value so that the “suitable someone” will give you what you want since you can deliver her what she wants. It is a “honest deal”.

I admire Trump's success but I do not think of him as an man of elite moral character. Not exactly a role model in all areas.

 

[ChrisV]

I think it's something that comes with Age. Like as a kid I wanted to hook up with every pretty girl I saw. Now honestly, I see that as more of a hassle that anything. I think that monogamy, if nothing else, is just the smarter thing to do. Too much aggravation otherwise.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[ChrisV]

@MoneyHacker .. I wish we could move this thread into the public Relationships forum. I would love to hear the ladies' perspective. Would you be opposed if I asked MJ if we can move it, or is this private?

Yes of course, I also love to hear from the ladies. It will be awesome if we could move this

@MJ - based off the previous conversation, can we move this to the relationships forum?

 

[lunga ngcobo]

I was raised to the belief that you should and only love one person in your life. Never think of the pickup artist game. Be loyal and faithful. You attract people who think like you. Imagine marrying a wife that devotes all her energy to your family, to supporting your career. Of course you need to pick your wife carefully.

Look at the most successful men in the world: Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg... They all have not-so-beautiful wives and their wives seem to be family-oriented, i don't know them in person so i only assume that. It is also true with your girlfriend. Is that the biggest asset you've ever had, more than anything. If i'm wrong, please change my mind.

you sound like you are still in a scripted mindset buddy. Bill gates and Mark ?? Really?? do you follow them around 24/7 and see how they really live their lives?

The key to making millions is acting on a good business idea and nothing to do with finding the perfect ugly partner. quit dreaming and work on your business and perhaps after you will have no time to belive in fake media...

 

[Johnny boy]

You do you

But, I am on the other end of the spectrum. Haven’t had a girlfriend for 4-5 years. Everyone has been a fwb situation.

When I am with girls...

I am not needy.

I am not insecure.

I do not judge.

I am comfortable with myself.

I am experienced.

And girls love it. They enjoy being around me. I can be myself around them and they can be themselves around me. I don’t feel a weird desire to “lock” them down once they sleep with me once, like so many inexperienced guys that they often run into.

I know what I want, I know what I don’t want. I’ve been there, seen it, tasted it, and I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process.

I’m in the Denver airport flying back to Seattle from Wisconsin. I was just spending my weekend with a girl I’ve known since I was 19. She used to drive up 80 miles to see me and hookup with me in her car every weekend when she lived in Washington. She’s cute, short, submissive, and is a whole lot of other things I can’t talk about on here. I would’ve never met her unless I was sleeping with a lot of different girls and I’ve slept with a lot of girls since I’ve met her.

I’m going to continue doing whatever I want until I feel a desire to change. I’m enjoying growing my business, having ultimate freedom, traveling and meeting great people, keeping myself focused by staying in “the game”, and just living life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Tourmaline]

I was raised to the belief that you should and only love one person in your life. Never think of the pickup artist game. Be loyal and faithful. You attract people who think like you. Imagine marrying a wife that devotes all her energy to your family, to supporting your career. Of course you need to pick your wife carefully.

Look at the most successful men in the world: Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg... They all have not-so-beautiful wives and their wives seem to be family-oriented, i don't know them in person so i only assume that. It is also true with your girlfriend. Is that the biggest asset you've ever had, more than anything. If i'm wrong, please change my mind.

I see it as choosing what you want. If you are monogamous, you do gain a lot from it. A stronger relationship than non-monogamous couples, as well as a lot of time to pursue other things. Of course if you are not monogamous, you gain more experiences with more women too, but the cost is time and typically less strong/deep of a relationship because of the nature of shorter relationships.

Most of the most successful men have many mistresses actually! I think the ideal is one strong main relationship and casual side relationships, however ideally the wife gives permission to have mistresses. If a man wants to deal with mistresses that is, they cost time and money!

Really depends on what you think love is. If it's a mysterious force in the universe, or a little man with a bow of the ancestral religions, then you can't. It's largely out of your control.

If love is a cascade of the chimpanzee electro-chemical signals in your brain and body, also not much you can do.

If you and your spouse both see love as an act of the will on behalf of another human, you would be shocked at what you can do together.

I got lucky on that one. Marry a girl that has changed her religious views but was raise with that Calvinist ethic, and you won the lottery son

Love is not one thing, there are different forms of love and they each have different purposes. However the common thread is to bond and bring humans together, to make humans care about some other humans so they will consider and act in their interest.

Here’s my main problem with monogamy. I’m only 23 and EVERY girl I’ve been with had a boyfriend when I hooked up with them. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Even that innocent intelligent academic beauty who seems pure like an angel cheated on her boyfriend with me.

Does that not raise any red flags about the image you put off?

 

[ChrisV]

You do you

But, I am on the other end of the spectrum. Haven’t had a girlfriend for 4-5 years. Everyone has been a fwb situation.

When I am with girls...

I am not needy.

I am not insecure.

I do not judge.

I am comfortable with myself.

I am experienced.

And girls love it. They enjoy being around me. I can be myself around them and they can be themselves around me. I don’t feel a weird desire to “lock” them down once they sleep with me once, like so many inexperienced guys that they often run into.

I know what I want, I know what I don’t want. I’ve been there, seen it, tasted it, and I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process.

I’m in the Denver airport flying back to Seattle from Wisconsin. I was just spending my weekend with a girl I’ve known since I was 19. She used to drive up 80 miles to see me and hookup with me in her car every weekend when she lived in Washington. She’s cute, short, submissive, and is a whole lot of other things I can’t talk about on here. I would’ve never met her unless I was sleeping with a lot of different girls and I’ve slept with a lot of girls since I’ve met her.

I’m going to continue doing whatever I want until I feel a desire to change. I’m enjoying growing my business, having ultimate freedom, traveling and meeting great people, keeping myself focused by staying in “the game”, and just living life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well you're also 22. That's appropriate when you're 22. When you start pushing 30+ and you're still hitting up bars and Tinder it just gets lame imo.

 

[Tourmaline]

@Johnny boy Do you want kids?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MoneyHacker]

Here’s my main problem with monogamy. I’m only 23 and EVERY girl I’ve been with had a boyfriend when I hooked up with them. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Even that innocent intelligent academic beauty who seems pure like an angel cheated on her boyfriend with me. Am I some super stud? No. Just some random guy with some game.
I can’t trust younger attractive women. I simply can’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Doesn’t mean I don’t trust them as a friend, but as a partner? No.
The only way a girl will be completely loyal to you is if you demonstrate so much value to her that she would be an idiot to even risk giving that away. But that means a lot of WORK from you in becoming that .1% guy.
I’ve thought that maybe older women since they have more experience is the way to go but let’s be real, we all want a stunning beauty. Not to say there aren’t older stunning woman but it is not the majority.

I’ve honestly been my happiest when I had multiple girls I’m seeing but finally choose the one I “click” with the most WHILE seeing the other girls. This actually makes that diamond in the rough I’m talking about WANT YOU MORE. Please don’t think I’m talking out my a$$. You guys may have more knowledge then me regarding finance and business but this is an area I have been with for a while and understand deeply. Times where I gave up other girls and focused on her, the passion was lost and the sex less exciting.

Most divorces happen when the girl detests the guy while the guy adores the girl. As shitty as this sounds girls want the guys who can have every girl but chooses her because of somethin “special”. If you lose those things that made her like you in the first place you’ll lose the girl but most importantly you’ll lose yourself.
Trust me I’ve seen countless relationships and my own personal experience to fall for a LTR without being a complete boss of boss first.

As i said before, you attract people who think like you. Seem like the "innocent intelligent academic beauty" is not that "innocent", she's just "intelligent".

Let’s be real, not all of us want a stunning beauty. I agree with you that we have to demonstrate value to her, of course, but by providing value, you also receive back value from her.

Not everyone dates only because of sex, man. You can't have sex 24/7, or can you?

"As shitty as this sounds girls want the guys who can have every girl but chooses her because of somethin special". Yeah, girls want a high-quality guy, that's right, it's absolutely right, i can't deny. But also she doesn't want that guy to cheat on her. You are associating "good guy" with "low quality", it's not always the case. It's because we see a lot of "high quality" guy acting like "bad guy", doesn't mean we have to act like "bad guy" to be a "high quality" guy. It's a different aspect, man.

 

[MoneyHacker]

If you are an elite man you can have the cake and eat it. Fact. We peasants have to think, choose and sacrifice.

Look at Trump. He has a series of trophy wives and meanwhile it is an open secret that he often patronise high class prostitution and try to “grab pussies” on celeb girls.

So perhaps for Tiger Woods who is the “known cheater”, he simply didn't choose the correct wife?

What I am saying that monogamy or not might not be a question of morality. Whatever lifestyle you want to have, you need to find someone who can accommodate it, and you need to have the ability to offer value so that the “suitable someone” will give you what you want since you can deliver her what she wants. It is a “honest deal”.

I'm not talking about option, if your option is limited, of course you have to go with what you have. But let's say if you have options, will you go with as many delicious cakes as you want or you go with the cakes that are most beneficial to you health?

Let's be real, not all of us have a background like Trump and Tiger Woods do, right? They decided to choose that lifestyle, but why don't you question if they've chosen a different lifestyle, in this case i would say monogamy, their life would have been better.

I think it's not just about morality, it's about finding the best outcome possible. And i absolutely agree with you, we have to offer value first, it's the absolutely right thing.

 

[csalvato]

Please don't bring this out of the Men's room. This thread, and the mental models represented within, are downright embarrassing for our gender.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MoneyHacker]

You do you

But, I am on the other end of the spectrum. Haven’t had a girlfriend for 4-5 years. Everyone has been a fwb situation.

When I am with girls...

I am not needy.

I am not insecure.

I do not judge.

I am comfortable with myself.

I am experienced.

And girls love it. They enjoy being around me. I can be myself around them and they can be themselves around me. I don’t feel a weird desire to “lock” them down once they sleep with me once, like so many inexperienced guys that they often run into.

I know what I want, I know what I don’t want. I’ve been there, seen it, tasted it, and I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process.

I’m in the Denver airport flying back to Seattle from Wisconsin. I was just spending my weekend with a girl I’ve known since I was 19. She used to drive up 80 miles to see me and hookup with me in her car every weekend when she lived in Washington. She’s cute, short, submissive, and is a whole lot of other things I can’t talk about on here. I would’ve never met her unless I was sleeping with a lot of different girls and I’ve slept with a lot of girls since I’ve met her.

I’m going to continue doing whatever I want until I feel a desire to change. I’m enjoying growing my business, having ultimate freedom, traveling and meeting great people, keeping myself focused by staying in “the game”, and just living life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We're young and we should experience as much as possible, there's no doubt about that. But i'm afraid when we are used to that lifestyle, it's hard to change, like a habit or mindset. What you experienced and saw will affect you later in life. I'm not saying you can't change, but you can't fully change.

I did date girls too, actually, yeah i'm not a solitary man. But then i questioned myself, what could i gain from that experience? It's a bit worth to consider. But as i said in my previous post, it's about our choice and our lifestyle. Not what we should do morally or something.

 

[Tourmaline]

Please don't bring this out of the Men's room. This thread, and the mental models represented within, are downright embarrassing for our gender.

I agree that this should stay here. Although I wouldn't call it embarrassing. Men are this way because it's at the base in our interest and natural of our reality.

We're young and we should experience as much as possible, there's no doubt about that. But i'm afraid when we are used to that lifestyle, it's hard to change, like a habit or mindset. What you experienced and saw will affect you later in life. I'm not saying you can't change, but you can't fully change.

I did date girls too, actually, yeah i'm not a solitary man. But then i questioned myself, what could i gain from that experience? It's a bit worth to consider. But as i said in my previous post, it's about our choice and our lifestyle. Not what we should do morally or something.

Why isn't there a doubt about that? As you just stated there are drawbacks. I think there's a fundamental mistake in the thinking that as many experiences as possible will create a happier life.

What I call 'sad player syndrome' is very real and exists precisely because more is not always better or a solution to a deeper problem of unhappiness. Read The Weeknd's lyrics for a precise stereotypical view into the sad player. Like the name suggest, it's a result of extremely scripted thinking.

 

[csalvato]

Men are this way because it's at the base in our interest and natural of our reality.

This is one of those flawed mental models.

Men are not crazy sex-driven maniacs by default, nor are they insecure when they seek deeper companionship from their sexual partners, for example.

The biological/natural arguments for this line of thinking are laughable, imo.

That's like saying that we are wired to want to eat nothing but Big Macs and fries (which we are), so we don't really have a responsibility for how we approach food, because "hey, that's nature!"

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Real Deal Denver]

This is one of those flawed mental models.

Men are not crazy sex-driven maniacs by default, now are they insecure when they seek deeper companionship from their sexual partners, for example.

The biological/natural arguments for this line of thinking are laughable, imo.

That's like saying that we are wired to want to eat nothing but Big Macs and fries (which we are), so we don't really have a responsibility for how we approach food, because "hey, that's nature!"

Well, thank you for that post! I'd like to think and hope we've evolved past the primal urges controlling us phase.

I've had more than a few hot babes sashay past me and then look back to see if I was watching them. LOL. I never was, but I had the peripheral vision to see them looking back at me. Hate to ruin their day, but I've seen a$$ and boobs before. I'm not 14 anymore.

I always felt good when they saw I was not watching them. I'm not a stupid dog that you can get my attention by waving a pork chop under my nose.

Sex, which seems to be a common theme here, is a byproduct and benefit of a great relationship - but it is far from being the main part of a relationship all by itself. In my younger days, sex without love/feeling/intimacy was like eating leftover cold pizza - yeah, it kept me going for a physical need, but not anything more than that. As some here have alluded to - when you have it all, the sex is a very nice bonus - but everything else is in the "total package" is so much better.

There's nothing better than having a soul mate that you can connect with on every level. My wife completes and fulfills me - and I'm not even thinking about the sex part of it when I say that.

 

[Tourmaline]

This is one of those flawed mental models.

Men are not crazy sex-driven maniacs by default, nor are they insecure when they seek deeper companionship from their sexual partners, for example.

The biological/natural arguments for this line of thinking are laughable, imo.

That's like saying that we are wired to want to eat nothing but Big Macs and fries (which we are), so we don't really have a responsibility for how we approach food, because "hey, that's nature!"

Perhaps I was not clear.

The base reason these urges exist at all is nature.

That does not justify simply giving into them mindlessly. I do not see anything wrong with being a player if that is the life one chooses to have. Nor do I see anything wrong with monogamy if someone wishes that instead.

However, why monogamy was created in the first place is an interesting thing in itself. It is quite difficult for a country to well survive without monogamy.

At the same time, to deny that the reason men have the urge to have many different sexual partners at all is based on nature is nonsense.