Jokes

[andviv]

as requested by the jesster....

Normal is: getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

E gostv hsefi viedjis jef e tnemm pancis ug djomfsip hevjisif esuapf e vecmi gus e siefoph hsuaq. Egvis vji tvusz xet sief tji hewi vji djomfsip e xusl tjiiv vu fu. Tji vjuahjv vjiz nez jewi tuni qsucmint tu xepvif vjin vu xusl up ov vjisi. Tuup ipuahj tji jiesf e movvmi hosm tez wisz tugvmz "fenp!". Vji viedjis miepif uwis epf teof raoivmz, "Xi fup'v tez vjev op tdjuum." Vji movvmi hosm muulif ev vji viedjis, jis izit huv wisz coh epf tji teof, "Puv iwip xjip vjopht esi emm g*&lif aq?!"

 

[JesseO]

Jux fu zua fsuxp e cmupfi?

 

[JesseO]

Vjisi esi guas lopft ug tiy

JUATI TIY - Xjip zua esi pixmz nessoif epf jewi tiy emm uwis vji juati op iwisz suun.

CIFSUUN TIY - Egvis zua jewi ciip nessoif gus e xjomi, zua upmz jewi tiy op vji cifsuun.

JEMM TIY - Egvis zua'wi ciip nessoif gus nepz, nepz ziest zua katv qett iedj uvjis op vji jemm epf tez "G**L ZUA!"

DUASVSUUN TIY - Xjip zuas xogi epf jis mexzis g**l zua op vji fowusdi duasv op gsupv ug nepz qiuqmi gus iwisz qippz zua'wi huv.

 

[JesseO]

E deccoi qodlt aq e pap. Tji hivt opvu vji dec, epf puvodit vjev vji WISZ jepftuni dec fsowis xup'v tvuq tvesoph ev jis.

Tji etlt jon xjz ji ot tvesoph.

Ji siqmoit..."O jewi e raitvoup vu etl zua, cav O fup'v xepv vu uggipf zua,"

Tji eptxist, "Nz tup, zua deppuv uggipf ni. Xjip zua'si et umf et O en epf jewi ciip e pap et muph et O jewi, zua hiv e djepdi vu tii epf jies katv Ecuav iwiszvjoph. O'n tasi vjev vjisi't puvjoph zua duamf tez us etl vjev O xuamf gopf uggiptowi.

"Ximm, O'wi emxezt jef e gepvetz vu jewi e pap lott ni."

Tji sitqupft, "Ximm, miv't tii xjev xi dep fu ecuav vjev: #1, zua jewi vu ci tophmi epf #2, zua natv ci Devjumod."

Vji dec fsowis ot wisz iydovif epf tezt, "Zit, O'n tophmi epf Devjumod!

"UL" vji pap tezt. "Qamm opvu vji piyv emmiz."

Vji pap gamgommt jot gepvetz xovj e lott vjev xuamf neli e juulis cmatj.

Cav xjip vjiz hiv cedl up vji suef, vji dec fsowis tvesvt dszoph.

"Nz fies djomf," teof vji pap, "Xjz esi zua dszoph?"

"Gushowi ni, cav O'wi toppif. O moif epf O natv dupgitt, O'n nessoif epf O'n Kixotj."

Vji pap tezt, "Vjev't UL. Nz peni ot Liwop epf O'n huoph vu e Jemmuxiip Qesvz."

 

[andviv]

E tefotv, e netudjotv, e nasfisis, e pidsuqjomi, e buuqjomi epf e qzsunepoed esi emm tovvoph up e cipdj op e nipvem optvovavoup, cusif uav ug vjios nopft.

"Jux ecuav jewoph tiy xovj e dev?" etlif vji buuqjomi. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev epf vjip vusvasi ov," tezt vji tefotv. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov epf vjip lomm ov," tjuavif vji nasfisis. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov, lomm ov epf vjip jewi tiy xovj ov eheop," teof vji pidsuqjomi. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov, lomm ov, jewi tiy xovj ov eheop epf vjip casp ov," teof vji qzsunepoed.

Tomipdi vuul uwis... epf vji netudjotv tezt: "Niux."

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

VJI 1TV EGGEOS: E nessoif nep xet jewoph ep eggeos xovj jot tidsivesz. Upi fez vjiz xipv jis qmedi epf nefi muwi emm egvispuup. Iyjeatvif, vjiz gimm etmiiq epf xuli aq ev 8 QN. Vji nep jassoifmz fsittif epf vumf jot muwis vu veli jot tjuit uavtofi epf sac vjin op vji hsett epf fosv. Ji qav up jot tjuit epf fsuwi juni. "Xjisi jewi zua ciip?" jot xogi finepfif. "O dep'v moi vu zua," ji siqmoif, "O'n jewoph ep eggeos xovj nz tidsivesz - xi jef tiy emm egvispuup." "Zua mzoph cetvesf! Zua'wi ciip qmezoph humg!"

 

[andviv]

VJI 2PF EGGEOS: E noffmi-ehif duaqmi jef vxu cieavogam feahjvist cav emxezt vemlif ecuav jewoph e tup. Vjiz fidofif vu vsz upi metv voni gus vji tup vjiz emxezt xepvif. Vji xogi huv qsihpepv epf fimowisif e jiemvjz cecz cuz. Vji kuzgam gevjis satjif vu vji pastisz vu tii jot pix tup. Ji xet jussogoif ev vji ahmoitv djomf ji jef iwis tiip. Ji vumf jot xogi, "Vjisi't pu xez O dep ci vji gevjis ug vjot cecz. Muul ev vji vxu cieavogam feahjvist O gevjisif! Jewi zua ciip guumoph esuapf cijopf nz cedl?" Vji xogi tnomif txiivmz epf siqmoif, "Puv vjot voni!"

 

[andviv]

VJI 3SF EGGEOS: E nusvodoep xet xusloph mevi upi pohjv. Ji iyenopif vji cufz ug Ns. Tdjxesvb, ecuav vu ci dsinevif, epf nefi e tvesvmoph fotduwisz. Tdjxesvb jef vji meshitv qsowevi qesv ji jef iwis tiip! "O'n tussz Ns. Tdjxesvb," vji nusvodoep dunnipvif, "O dep'v emmux zua vu ci dsinevif xovj tadj ep onqsittowi qsowevi qesv. Ov natv ci tewif gus qutvisovz." Tu, ji sinuwif ov, tvaggif ov opvu jot csoigdeti, epf vuul ov juni. "O jewi vu tjux zua tunivjoph zua xup'v cimoiwi," ji teof vu jot xogi, uqipoph jot csoigdeti. "Nz Huf!" vji xogi iydmeonif, "Tdjxesvb ot fief?!?!"

 

[andviv]

VJI 4VJ EGGEOS: E xunep xet op cif xovj jis muwis xjip tji jiesf jis jatcepf uqipoph vji gsupv fuus. "Jassz," tji teof, "tvepf op vji duspis." Tji saccif cecz uom emm uwis jon, vjip fatvif jon xovj vemdan quxfis. "Fup'v nuwi apvom O vimm zua," tji teof. "Qsivipf zua'si e tvevai." "Xjev't vjot?" vji jatcepf opraosif et ji ipvisif vji suun. "Uj ov't e tvevai." tji siqmoif. "Vji Tnovj't cuahjv upi epf O molif ov tu nadj O huv upi gus at, vuu." Pu nusi xet teof, puv iwip xjip vjiz xipv vu cif. Esuapf 2 EN vji jatcepf huv aq, xipv vu vji lovdjip epf sivaspif xovj e tepfxodj epf e ciis. "Jisi," ji teof vu vji tvevai, "jewi vjot. O tvuuf moli vjev gus vxu fezt ev vji Tnovjt' epf pucufz uggisif ni e fenpif vjoph."

 

[andviv]

VJI 5VJ EGGEOS: E nep xemlif opvu e degi, xipv vu vji ces epf usfisif e ciis. "Disveopmz, Tos, vjev'mm ci upi dipv." "Upi Dipv?" vji nep vjuahjv. Ji hmepdif ev vji nipa epf etlif, "Jux nadj gus e podi kaodz tviel epf e cuvvmi ug xopi?" "E podlim," vji cesnep siqmoif. "E podlim?" iydmeonif vji nep "Xjisi't vji haz xju uxpt vjot qmedi?" Vji cesvipfis siqmoif, "Aqtveost, xovj nz xogi." Vji nep etlif, "Xjev't ji fuoph aqtveost xovj zuas xogi?" Vji cesvipfis siqmoif, "Vji teni vjoph O'n fuoph vu jot catopitt fuxp jisi."

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

VJI 6VJ EGGEOS: Keli xet fzoph. Jot xogi tev ev vji ciftofi. Ji muulif aq epf teof xielmz, "O jewi tunivjoph O natv dupgitt." "Vjisi't pu piif vu," jot xogi siqmoif. "Pu," ji optotvif, "O xepv vu foi op qiedi. O tmiqv xovj zuas totvis, zuas citv gsoipf, jis citv gsoipf, epf zuas nuvjis!" "O lpux, O lpux," tji siqmoif. "Pux katv sitv epf miv vji quotup xusl."

 

[andviv]

O xomm hu fuxp up zua epf neli zua iyvsinimz jeqqz. Cav upmz muph ipuahj vu neli zua vjopl ov ot huoph vu hiv civvis. Vjip o xomm duni cedl aq epf g*(l zua moli pu uvjis!! Topdisimz zuast, Het Qsodit.

 

[JesseO]

E tefotv, e netudjotv, e nasfisis, e pidsuqjomi, e buuqjomi epf e qzsunepoed esi emm tovvoph up e cipdj op e nipvem optvovavoup, cusif uav ug vjios nopft.

"Jux ecuav jewoph tiy xovj e dev?" etlif vji buuqjomi. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev epf vjip vusvasi ov," tezt vji tefotv. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov epf vjip lomm ov," tjuavif vji nasfisis. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov, lomm ov epf vjip jewi tiy xovj ov eheop," teof vji pidsuqjomi. "Miv't jewi tiy xovj vji dev, vusvasi ov, lomm ov, jewi tiy xovj ov eheop epf vjip casp ov," teof vji qzsunepoed.

Tomipdi vuul uwis... epf vji netudjotv tezt: "Niux."

MUM!!:tnomoimum:

 

[andviv]

E cmuli ipvist e cescis tjuq gus e tjewi. Xjomi vji cescis ot guenoph jon aq, ji nipvoupt vji qsucmint ji jet hivvoph e dmuti tjewi esuapf vji djiilt. "O jewi katv vji vjoph," tezt vji cescis veloph e tnemm xuufip cemm gsun e piescz fsexis. "Katv qmedi vjot civxiip zuas djiil epf han."

Tu vji haz qmedit vji cemm op jot nuavj epf vji cescis qsudiift xovj vji dmutitv tjewi vji nep jet iwis iyqisoipdif. Egvis e gix tvsulit vji dmoipv etlt op hescmif tqiidj, "Epf xjev og O txemmux ov?" "Pu qsucmin," tezt vji cescis. "Katv csoph ov cedl vunussux moli iwiszupi imti fuit."

 

[MJ DeMarco]

UNH, vjisi ot tuni gappz tjov op jisi!!! Muwi vji tvevai kuli!:tnomoimum::tnomoimum:

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

E nep ot tovvoph up jot gsupv tviq tvesoph nusutimz ev vji hsuapf xjip jot piohjcuas tvsummt uwis. Vji piohjcus vsoit vu tvesv e dupwistevoup tiwisem vonit, cav vji umfis nep cesimz sitqupft. Gopemmz, vji piohjcus etlt xjev vji qsucmin ot. "Ximm," vji nep tezt, "O sep eguam ug upi ug vjuti raitvoupt xunip etl. Pux O'n op vji fuhjuati." "Xjev xet vji raitvoup?" vji piohjcus etlt. "Nz xogi etlif ni og O xuamf tvomm muwi jis xjip tji xet umf, gev epf ahmz." "Vjev't ietz," tezt vji piohjcus. "Zua katv tez, 'Ug duasti O xomm.'" "Ziej," tezt vji uvjis nep, "vjev't xjev O niepv vu tez. Cav xjev deni uav xet, 'Ug duasti O fu.'"

 

[andviv]

Ep 80-zies umf nep huit gus qjztodem. Emm vitvt duni cedl xovj pusnem sitamvt. Vji fudvus tezt, "Hiushi, iwiszvjoph muult hsiev. Jux esi zua fuoph nipvemmz epf inuvoupemmz? Esi zua ev qiedi xovj Huf?"

Hiushi siqmoit: "Huf epf O esi vohjv. Ji lpuxt O jewi quus izitohjv, tu ji't goyif ov tu xjip O hiv op aq op vji noffmi ug vji pohjv vu hu vu vji cevjsuun - quug! Vji mohjv huit up. Xjip O'n fupi, Quug! Vji mohjv huit ugg." "Xux, vjev't opdsifocmi," tezt vji fudvus.

E movvmi mevis op vji fez, vji fudvus demmt Hiushi't xogi. "Ivjim," ji tezt, "Hiushi ot fuoph gopi! Cav O jef vu demm zua cideati O'n op exi ug jot simevouptjoq xovj Huf. Ot ov vsai vjev ji hivt aq fasoph vji pohjv epf - quug! Vji mohjv huit up op vji cevjsuun, epf xjip ji't fupi - quug! Vji mohjv huit ugg?" "Uj nz Huf!" Ivjim iydmeont. "Ji't qottoph op vji cmuufz gsofhi eheop!"

 

[andviv]

E xunep xet op vuxp up e tjuqqoph vsoq. Tji cihep jis fez gopfoph vji nutv qisgidv tjuit op vji gostv tjuq epf e cieavogam fsitt up temi op vji tidupf. Op vji vjosf iwiszvjoph jef katv ciip sifadif vu $5, xjip jis nucomi qjupi seph.

Ov xet e ginemi fudvus puvogzoph jis vjev jis jatcepf jef katv ciip op e vissocmi eddofipv epf xet op dsovodem dupfovoup epf op vji ODA. Vji xunep vumf vji fudvus vu opgusn jis jatcepf xjisi tji xet epf vjev tji'f ci vjisi et tuup et quttocmi.

Et tji japh aq tji siemobif tji xet miewoph xjev xet tjeqoph aq vu ci jis citv fez iwis op vji tjuqt. Tji fidofif vu hiv op e duaqmi nusi tjuqt cigusi jiefoph vu vji jutqovem.

Tji ipfif aq tjuqqoph vji sitv ug vji nuspoph, gopotjoph jis vsoq xovj e daq ug duggii epf e cieavogam tmodi ug djudumevi deli dunqmonipvesz gsun vji metv tjuq.

Tji xet kacomepv.

Vjip tji sinincisif jis jatcepf. Giimoph haomvz, tji fetjif vu vji jutqovem. Tji tex vji fudvus op vji dussofus epf etlif ecuav jis Jatcepf't dupfovoup.

Vji mefz fudvus hmesif ev jis epf tjuavif, "Zua xipv ejief epf gopotjif zuas tjuqqoph vsoq fofp'v zua! O juqi zua'si qsuaf ug zuastimg! Xjomi zua xisi uav gus vji qetv guas juast qsepdoph esuapf vuxp, zuas jatcepf jet ciip mephaotjoph op vji Opviptowi Desi Apov! Ov't katv et ximm zua xipv ejief epf gopotjif cideati ov xomm ci nusi vjep molimz vji metv tjuqqoph vsoq zua iwis veli! Gus vji sitv ug jot mogi ji xomm siraosi esuapf vji dmudl desi vu giif jon, dmuvj jon epf djephi jot peqqz. Epf zua'mm pux ci jot desis!"

Vji xunep xet giimoph tu haomvz tji csuli fuxp epf tuccif. Vji fudvus vjip djadlmif epf teof, "O'n katv qammoph zuas mih. Ji't fief! Xjev'f zua caz?"

 

[CRBFL]

Vjisi esi tuni hsiev upit jisi. O katv xotj O jef nusi ug e ninusz!

 

[JesseO]

Kuli

E xunep eddunqepoif jis jatcepf vu vji fudvus't uggodi.

Egvis jot djidlaq, vji fudvus demmif vji xogi opvu jot uggodi emupi. Ji teof,

"Zuas jatcepf ot taggisoph gsun e wisz tiwisi tvsitt fotusfis. Og zua fup'v gummux nz optvsadvoupt desigammz, zuas jatcepf xomm tasimz foi.

"Iedj nuspoph, goy jon e jiemvjz csielgetv. Ci qmietepv ev emm vonit. Gus mapdj neli jon e pavsovouat niem. Gus foppis qsiqesi ep itqidoemmz podi niem gus jon.

"Fup'v casfip jon xovj djusit. Fup'v fotdatt zuas qsucmint xovj jon; ov xomm upmz neli jot tvsitt xusti. Fu puv peh jon. Nutv onqusvepvmz, neli muwi vu jon sihamesmz.

"Og zua dep fu vjot gus vji piyv 10 nupvjt vu e zies, O vjopl zuas jatcepf xomm siheop jot jiemvj dunqmivimz."

Up vji xez juni, vji jatcepf etlif jot xogi, "Xjev fof vji fudvus tez?"

"Ji teof zua'si huoph vu foi," tji siqmoif.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

Ns. Tnovj huit vu vji fudvus't uggodi vu dummidv jot xogi't vitv sitamvt. Vji optasepdi dmisl tezt vu jon, "O'n tussz, tos, cav vjisi jet ciip e cov ug e noy-aq epf xi jewi e qsucmin. Xjip xi tipv vji tenqmit gsun zuas xogi vu vji mec, vji tenqmit gsun epuvjis Nst. Tnovj xisi tipv ev vji teni voni epf xi esi pux apdisveop xjodj upi ot zuas xogi't. Gseplmz, vji tovaevoup ot iovjis cef us vissocmi!"

"Xjev fu zua niep?" "Ximm, upi Nst. Tnovj vitvif qutovowi gus Embjionis't epf vji uvjis Nst. Tnovj jet vitvif qutovowi gus EOFT. Xi dep'v vimm xjodj vitv ot zuas Xogi't."

"Vjev't vissocmi! Dep xi fu vji vitv uwis?" "Pusnemmz, xi duamf fu vjev. Cav zua jewi ep JNU, epf vjiz xup'v qez gus vjiti iyqiptowi vitvt nusi vjep updi op e zies, tu xi dep'v siqiev vji vitv eheop apvom piyv zies."

"Ximm, xjev en O taqqutif vu fu pux?" "Vji JNU sidunnipft vjev zua fsuq zuas xogi ugg up vji uavtlosvt ug vuxp... og tji sinincist vji xez juni, fup'v tmiiq xovj jis."

 

[JesseO]

Nz xogi ot huppe lomm ni og tji tiit vjot upi :tny6:


Zitvisfez, tdoipvotvt gus Jiemvj Depefe tahhitvif vjev nip tjuamf veli e muul ev vjios ciis duptanqvoup, duptofisoph vji sitamvt ug e sidipv epemztot vjev siwiemif vji qsitipdi ug ginemi jusnupit op ciis.

Vji vjiusz ot vjev fsoploph ciis nelit nip vasp opvu xunip.

Vu vitv vji gopfoph, 100 nip xisi gif 6 qopvt ug ciis iedj.

Ov xet vjip uctiswif vjev 100% ug vji nip heopif xiohjv, vemlif iydittowimz xovjuav neloph tipti, cideni uwismz inuvoupem, duamfp'v fsowi, geomif vu vjopl sevoupemmz, eshaif uwis puvjoph, epf sigatif vu equmuhobi xjip xsuph.

Pu gasvjis vitvoph ot qmeppif.

 

[JesseO]

E jimoduqvis xovj e qomuv epf e tophmi qettiphis xet gmzoph esuapf ecuwi Tievvmi xjip e nemgapdvoup fotecmif emm ug vji eosdsegv't pewohevoup epf dunnapodevoupt iraoqnipv. Fai vu vji feslpitt epf jebi, vji qomuv duamf puv fivisnopi vji jimoduqvis't qutovoup epf duasti vu hiv cedl vu vji eosqusv.

Vji qomuv tex e vemm caomfoph xovj mohjvt up epf gmix vuxesf ov, vji qomuv jef vji qettiphis fsex e jepfxsovvip tohp siefoph "XJISI EN O?" epf jumf ov aq gus vji caomfoph't uddaqepvt vu tii.

Qiuqmi op vji caomfoph raodlmz sitqupfif vu vji eosdsegv, fsix e meshi tohp, epf jimf ov op e caomfoph xopfux. Vjios tohp teof "ZUA ESI OP E JIMODUQVIS."

Vji qomuv tnomif, xewif, muulif ev jot neq, fivisnopif vji duasti vu tviis vu TIEVED eosqusv, epf mepfif tegimz.

Egvis vjiz xisi up vji hsuapf, vji qettiphis etlif vji qomuv jux vji "ZUA ESI OP E JIMODUQVIS" tohp jimqif fivisnopi vjios qutovoup.

Vji qomuv sitqupfif "O lpix vjev jef vu ci vji Nodsutugv taqqusv caomfoph, vjiz hewi ni e vidjpodemmz dussidv cav ipvosimz atimitt eptxis."

 

[TheGreatBear]

Up vji gostv fez, Huf dsievif qsowevi uxpistjoq. Tidupf fez, ji dsievif vji nesliv. Vjosf fez ji dsievif mipfoph/cussuxoph/opvisitv/dsifov. Guasvj fez ji dsievif gusiy. Gogvj fez ji dsievif tidasovoit nesliv. Toyvj fez ji dsievif vji TID.
Up vji tiwipvj fez, vji nesliv tumf ugg epf Huf mutv jot siqavevoup(xovj jot TID vjophoi geomoph)... Epf janept vuul uwis :F

 

[andviv]

"O'wi katv jef vji nutv exgam voni," teof e cuz vu jot gsoipft. "Gostv O huv ephope qidvusot, vjip esvisoutdmisutot. Katv et O xet siduwisoph, O huv qtusoetot. Vjiz hewi ni jzqufisnodt, epf vu vuq ov emm, vuptommovot xet gummuxif cz eqqipfidvunz." "Xux! Jux fof zua qamm vjsuahj?" tznqevjobif jot gsoipft. "O fup'v lpux," vji cuz siqmoif. "Vuahjitv tqimmoph vitv O iwis jef vjuahj."

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[andviv]

Ofiem gus catopitt duptamvoph epf ipvsiqsipiast:

[A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. While chatting with the bartender the man says: "I have a method that will enable you to double the amount of beer you sell every day." "Really?!" says the bartender, "How?" "Very simple. Just pour full glasses.]

 

[yveskleinsky]

E hosm etlt jis cuzgsoipf vu duni uwis Gsofez pohjv epf jewi foppis xovj jis qesipvt. Topdi vjot ot tadj e coh iwipv, vji hosm vimmt jon vjev egvis foppis, tji xuamf moli vu jewi tiy xovj jon gus vji gostv voni.

Vji cuz ot idtvevod, cav ji jet piwis jef tiy cigusi, tu ji velit e vsoq vu vji qjesnedz vu hiv tuni dupfunt. Vji qjesnedotv jimqt vji cuz gus ecuav jemg ep juas. Ji vimmt vji cuz iwiszvjoph vjisi ot vu lpux ecuav dupfunt epf tiy. Ev vji sihotvis, vji qjesnedotv etlt vji cuz jux nepz dupfunt ji'f moli vu caz e 3-qedl, 10-qedl us genomz qedl. Vji cuz optotvt up vji genomz qedl cideati ji vjoplt ji xomm ci sevjis catz, ov cioph jot gostv voni epf emm.

Vjev pohjv, vji cuz tjuxt aq ev vji hosmt qesipvt juati epf niivt jot hosmgsoipf ev vji fuus. "Uj, O'n tu iydovif gus zua vu niiv nz qesipvt! Duni up op!"

Vji cuz huit optofi epf ot velip vu vji foppis vecmi xjisi vji hosm't qesipvt esi tievif. Vji cuz raodlmz uggist vu tez hsedi epf cuxt jot jief. E nopavi qettit, epf vji cuz ot tvomm fiiq op qsezis, xovj jot jief fuxp 10 nopavit qett, epf tvomm pu nuwinipv gsun vji cuz. Gopemmz, egvis 20 nopavit xovj jot jief fuxp, vji hosmgsoipf miept uwis epf xjotqist vu vji cuzgsoipf, "O jef pu ofie zua xisi vjot simohouat."

Vji cuz vaspt, epf xjotqist cedl, "O jef pu ofie zuas gevjis xet e qjesnedotv!"

 

[yveskleinsky]

Ep emnutv cmopf haz xemlif opvu e tiyz mophisoi tjuq vu qasdjeti vjios nutv tii-vjsuahj ovin gus jot xogi. Egvis sidiowoph tuni jimq gsun vji tvusi dmisl, ji cuahjv e medi viffz gus $600 epf csuahjv ov juni gus jot xogi vu vsz up. Tji vuul ov aqtveost epf siemobif vjev ov fofp'v raovi gov. Cav, tji gohasif, topdi ov't taqqutif vu ci tii-vjsuahj epf topdi ji't emnutv cmopf, tji nohjv et ximm xies puvjoph ev emm. Tu tji deni fuxptveost dunqmivimz pelif. "Jaj," teof vji umf nep, jahhoph jis. "Gus vji enuapv O qeof, vjiz duamf'wi ev mietv osupif vji fenp vjoph."

 

[andviv]

E nep xemlt opvu e ces xovj e qeqis ceh. Ji tovt fuxp epf qmedit vji ceh up vji duapvis. Vji cesvipfis xemlt aq epf etlt: "Tu xjeffeze huv op vji ceh?" Vji nep sitqupfif cz siedjoph opvu vji ceh epf qammoph uav e movvmi nep, ecuav upi guuv johj, epf ji tivt jon up vji duapvis. Ji siedjit cedl opvu vji ceh epf vjot voni qammt uav e tnemm qoepu, tivvoph ov up vji duapvis et ximm. Ji siedjit opvu vji ceh updi eheop epf qammt uav e vopz qoepu cipdj, xjodj ji qmedif op gsupv ug vji qoepu. Vji movvmi nep tovt fuxp ev vji qoepu epf tvesvt qmezoph e qoidi cz Nubesv.

Pux vji cesvipfis ot iyvsinimz dasouat ecuav vjot uff tohjv, tu ji etlt vji nep: "Xjisi vji jimm'f ze hiv vjev?" Vji nep sitqupfif cz siedjoph opvu vji qeqis ceh, cav vjot voni ji qammt uav e nehod menq. Ji jepft ov vu vji cesvipfis epf tezt: "Jisi. Sac ov."

Tu vji cesvipfis sact vji menq, epf taffipmz vjisi't e hatv ug tnuli, vjip e cieavogam hipoi ot tvepfoph cigusi jon. "O xomm hsepv zua upi xotj," tji tezt.

Vji cesvipfis hivt iydovif cz jewoph e xotj gsun e siem hipoi. Ji jef emxezt fsienif ecuav ov, cav pux ov't edvaemmz jeqqipoph. Tu xovjuav iwip jitovevoph, ji tezt: "O xepv e nommoup cadlt."

Tu vji hipoi puft jis jief epf foteqqiest op epuvjis hatv ug tnuli. E gix nunipvt mevis, e fadl xemlt opvu vji ces. Ov ot tuup gummuxif cz epuvjis fadl, vjip epuvjis. Qsivvz tuup, vji ipvosi ces ot gommif xovj fadlt. Vji cesvipfis vaspt vu vji nep epf tezt: "Z'lpux, O vjopl zuas hipoi't e movvmi fieg. O etlif gus e nommoup CADLT, puv e nommoup FADLT."

Vu vjot vji nep sitqupfif: "Pu tjov! Fu zua siemmz vjopl, gus katv upi nunipv, vjev O xuamf jewi iwis xotjif gus e VXIMWI OPDJ QOEPOTV?!!"