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Is your dating life fulfilling?

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

Sanj Modha

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GTFO here with that nonsense. Sounds like another PUA scam. I know this is a great supportive community but I have to call people out on this garbage.

There is no "hacking" when it comes to the sexual market place on Tinder. Anyone who disagrees is selling snake oil. Tinder is the "WORSE" dating platforms for average men and can be a confidence crusher. I would recommend guys NOT to use it unless you are 6' feet tall, White, 10% body fat, and someone who has a reliable social circle. The OK cupid study conducted proves this theory.

"Attraction is not a choice". You can't convince someone to be attracted to you. They either are physically attracted to you or they are not. Tinder is based SOLELY on looks. That is the RED PILL no matter what any online marketer will try to sell you.

This one of the reasons why I decided to put my dating E-Book on hold. Too much garbage out there from people chasing money instead of value.

Beware of people selling "events" when it comes to Dating advice.

If you're going to come at me about Tinder and/or Facebook marketing concepts - prepare to be schooled.

Stick to your e-book, champ. Leave Tinder to the pros.
 
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SevenJay

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Did any tinder user consider that if you find a girl on tinder, she will be the kind of girl who looks for partners on tinder? Tinder by it's own nature is not, and will never be, a good strategy...here's one hell of a good reason to pass on a girl if you look for a relationship: she uses tinder.

If you need a nice person on your side, one you can count on, became a nice person one fine girl can count on, not the one who spends hours swiping left and right on tinder hoping to rotate his hand movement by 90 degrees that night...
Just to be clear: I see nothing wrong with casual sex and all, but having sex doesn't mean having a relationship: if you get frustrated by this kind of "relationships" or all the tinder crazyness, maybe you should start picking from other buckets. The ones with more ENTRY. Is too easy to download tinder, you will have to look for your soulmate through every kind of sociopathic, ugly, mediocre, boring people.

If you really want to get the most out of tinder: don't use it. The worst people are cutting out themselves from the game by relying on apps. The real ones are high hanging fruits, in the real world.
If you are looking for a significant relationship learn to listen, learn to talk to friends of friends like if you really cared about them, not only "party-talk", learn connecting with people, if you don't know where to start read "how to win friends and influence people", attend acting/music/diction classes (or any place that people with half brain would never consider), drop the PUA shit or only use it in the first minute then be real, raise your standards...and prepare to deserve your significant other.

You can actually use all the CENTS principle on dating

NEED

Who are you? What are your best qualities? Make sure your girlfriend finds those valuable. If she is a nomad artist or a couch potato who changes job every 6 months and you are an entrepreneur expect her to not understand you.

ENTRY

If she is easier than other girls (beacuse she is on tinder, because she is actually easy, or anything else that makes it easy), well: easy come easy go, she will be easier for others too.

CONTROL

You want to be in control of your emotions, don't idealize people, don't cast on her all your dreams only to convince yourself she is perfect or to hide her flaws. You either accept deficiencies or you don't, but don't ignore them and become obsessed with a person for no reason.

SCALE
You want a person that can walk on your side, if you like a girl becase she also likes game of thrones, or because she loves to wear pink panties, that's not gonna go far. You want a person with a set of values similar to yours, with whom you will be able to share many experiences and things in common in the future.

TIME

If she absorbs time from other important aspects of your life, beware: the more you invest, the more you will be like to fall for the sunk cost fallacy. "I've invested so much in this person....she must be the right one". It's a potent bias.

Good luck being content with a random match from an app.
 
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Waspy

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He gets 5-8 matches a week

Are you trolling? I was on tinder a grand total of 3 weeks before I concluded it was garbage. In those 3 weeks I had just shy of 400 matches. Went on 9 dates.

5-8 matches a week is nonsense.

However like I say, it's a terrible app unless you want to get into bed real quick with a stranger, although even then there are better ways of doing that.

Meeting girls on the street is the single best way imho of connecting with a girl. Everyone is so busy looking at their damn phones swiping left or right on some superficial app that when a guy approaches a girl and says "hi" she actually feels special.

Be a human not a robot ffs.

EDIT: Managed to miss the post by @SevenJay above. That is a great post on this topic!
 
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ErictheRed

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Lol @ this beta-thread

clip_image001%25255B3%25255D.jpg


The better your looks, brains, income, empathy, skills, ... the easier it gets to find something worthy. Yes, it's that simple. Good girls are like rich guys: they have more choices. Up to you to find out why they (won't) choose for you.

Agreed. First, you gotta get your looks in order. Harsh truth is that at first glance women are going to judge you based on how fit you are, your style and how your clothes fit, and how you carry yourself in conversations, etc. Once you are confident enough in the way you look, then you need to be ruthless during the dating game. Don't put up with any bullshit from women, and walk if you know that the girl would not be a good fit or marriage material (that's the end game right? No sense in dating someone long-term if you don't trust her). Deep down, you know the good ones from the bad ones, separate the two and just go after women that you're attracted to. It'll sort itself out.

Oh yeah, helps to have your finances and the rest of your life together. Girls dig that and the more value you bring to the table, the easier it will be to meet like-minded women.
 
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ErictheRed

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Also, if you're looking to read about the dating game and how to improve your looks, I'd check out GoodLooking Loser's blog. He has great insight about how to "screen" for the good girls and how to navigate out there. Like OP said, most girls in their 20's these days are just getting drunk at the bars. That's fun for some time, but eventually you're going to want something more.
 

Sanj Modha

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Are you trolling? I was on tinder a grand total of 3 weeks before I concluded it was garbage. In those 3 weeks I had just shy of 400 matches. Went on 9 dates.

5-8 matches a week is nonsense.

However like I say, it's a terrible app unless you want to get into bed real quick with a stranger, although even then there are better ways of doing that.

Meeting girls on the street is the single best way imho of connecting with a girl. Everyone is so busy looking at their damn phones swiping left or right on some superficial app that when a guy approaches a girl and says "hi" she actually feels special.

Be a human not a robot ffs.

EDIT: Managed to miss the post by @SevenJay above. That is a great post on this topic!

400 matches in 3 weeks? Really? That's almost 20 matches per day.

I don't know what my friend does but his FB posts are pretty interesting to say the least. And it's all off Tinder.

I've never used Tinder since I'm married and actually went up to my future wife and spoke to her like normal people do/did. However, Tinder might peak my interest if I can buy ads there. That's all I care about.
 

Sanj Modha

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It also depends on where you live. My mate lives in London so there's always matches to be found but I've heard from people who live in smaller towns/cities that there's not much out there.
 
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Waspy

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It also depends on where you live. My mate lives in London so there's always matches to be found but I've heard from people who live in smaller towns/cities that there's not much out there.

I live in a city about 1/8th the size of London.

And yes, 20 matches a day was pretty much the norm.

Edit: My searches were 18-28, female only, with radius set to something like 10 miles, maybe 15 I don't remember.

I would be genuinely amazed if your mate was only pulling in 8 matches a week. You have to remember, everyone on Tinder is in it for 1 thing, so people are pretty generous with their swipes.
 
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MiguelHammond10

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Although I haven't found that 'special one' I have a suggestion to guys who are actively looking for one:

Hang around places you'd expect to find one. For instance, if you're looking for a woman who is into entrepreneurship, attend an entrepreneurship seminar and follow the following steps:

1) Begin prospecting - separate suspects from prospects
2) Build rapport - once you've found prospect, focus your attention on gaining trust and likeability
3) Identify preferences - spend more time listening, less time talking and identify what your cherry girl likes/dislikes
4) Deliver a persuasive conversation - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to deliver a killer conversation
5) Overcome objections - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to overcome objections in style
6) Close her - smile, be confident and close her by either getting her number (for beta dudes), kissing her (semi-beta dudes) or asking her to help you test a durability and bounce rate of a hotel mattress (alpha male)
7) Repeat the process or get referrals - if you've collected the right information, used it accordingly and properly closed her, she will undoubtedly be willing to repeat the process with you multiple times and will become your loyal cherry girl...however, if you've failed and she doesn't want to repeat the process, you could either repeat the step 5 or simply get referrals from her of other girls who are into your stuff...

Best of luck!
you are giving tips so why haven't you found yours and still searching ? if these steps really work. i am just asking.
 

Maxboost

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If you're going to come at me about Tinder and/or Facebook marketing concepts - prepare to be schooled.

Stick to your e-book, champ. Leave Tinder to the pros.


I can provide value, you provide snake oil.
 
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Sanj Modha

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I live in a city about 1/8th the size of London.

And yes, 20 matches a day was pretty much the norm.

Edit: My searches were 18-28, female only, with radius set to something like 10 miles, maybe 15 I don't remember.

I would be genuinely amazed if your mate was only pulling in 8 matches a week. You have to remember, everyone on Tinder is in it for 1 thing, so people are pretty generous with their swipes.

It could be more. I'll ask him when he's online. We're in different timezones.
 

Almantas

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you are giving tips so why haven't you found yours and still searching ? if these steps really work. i am just asking.

Sincere apologies if I've missed something, but where did I mention that "I am still searching?". I am single by my own choice, although I hang around with women from time to time - so, my dating life is in check and steps are relatively effective.
 
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Countzatara

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I'm retired from dating! I've mastered all the relationship lessons. The only one's left are the same one's I've already learned. It's kind of like walking out the Matrix and getting the Entrepreneurship. You can only grow so far in relationships. This is usually what ends the relationship in the first place. You've out grown one another. While I have a partner. I met them on a video game in 2010.

I watched 20/20 in 2007 and some other couple were talking about how they met on this video game, and so I tried it. It worked. I seriously don't think you can look for a person. I've talked to tons of individuals online for seven years. You might find a lot of people seeking out short-term gains and short-term pleasure, but perhaps you just have to be in the right place at the right time. No different than offline. In my younger years, I usually met the person through friends, showing up at underground concerts, group activities, working, networking. Is there really a definite route to finding the person you feel is the one. Even my partner I met online, I met his friend first. He lives around the block from us now. Sometimes your friends dump a partner, and you're a better fit. lol

The funny part, "You won't find anyone at home. They'll never come knock on your door." I met mine sitting on a computer at home. He flew to my country twice, before I moved over here. But, you can't be an idiot either. That took five years knowing someone, before taking that leap. Some individuals are stupid and move after a week, a month, a year.

I wouldn't want to be a Millennial these days. They're co-vert, sabotaging, some clever games with the opposite sex, nothing means anything, and they take mind games to a new level. I've just been friends with some of them, and I wouldn't even think of the stuff they do. lol
 
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Countzatara

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I don’t usually get involved in this type of discussion since this is not an area that is challenging for me. I never have problems meeting women. In fact, I have more women than I can handle. The solution to meeting lots of attractive women easily is simple, but most men will not take this advice. I thought about writing a book about this topic since I have extensive experience, but simply haven’t had the time to put the book together.

The solution is to take up ballroom dancing. Most men, for whatever reason, will not do this. I think that men may expect that women who do ballroom dancing are unattractive. That is a misconception. The women are often very attractive and range in age from 20’s to 70’s.

I happen to live in the San Gabriel Valley area of Los Angeles, and there are several places to dance. Other cities may not have as many.

The first step is to start taking dance classes at a local studio. Try more than one until you find one that you prefer. I take lessons at several studios. Become part of the dance community. And be sensitive to the social norms.

Expect the learning process to be slow. It was for me.

I could write a lot more, but don’t have time.

At any rate, follow my suggestion and you will soon have more women than you can handle.

Best of luck!
 

sparechange

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this scares me a bit, im 25 and single (preferred) but not sure how the future will pan out. dont wanna be one of those guys thats single in life but at the same time i dont see myself getting married. also dont want to be some weird lonely rich guy. sometimes look at one persons instagram i know of in a city im from and hes mid 30's hanging out with teen girls, seems kinda cool but a bit strange, does happen to have a lovely gallardo 458 and huracan tho!
 

Christopher777

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this scares me a bit, im 25 and single (preferred) but not sure how the future will pan out. dont wanna be one of those guys thats single in life but at the same time i dont see myself getting married. also dont want to be some weird lonely rich guy. sometimes look at one persons instagram i know of in a city im from and hes mid 30's hanging out with teen girls, seems kinda cool but a bit strange, does happen to have a lovely gallardo 458 and huracan tho!

Context man. It's all about context. Everything else is conjecture until you experience things first-hand. Mid 30's still young man. That's prime time! :)
 

bringitnow28329

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Absolutely terrible. Have yet to meet a single like minded lady using tinder or anything like it. Everybody's idea of fun seems to be partying and getting wasted all the time as well as a lack of financial intellect. IE check out my new car I just financed for graduating and am now trapped paying for. Help


Fun is f*cking a plethora of ladies and that is exactly what Tinder is good at allowing for.
 

bringitnow28329

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My dating advice: Go to church and lock down the first nice girl that isn't in a massive amount of debt. You think I'm setting the bar low - until you try to find a girl under 30 that isn't in debt. It's like finding a unicorn. :thumbsup:


Bro I'm an atheist...
 
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Angelic

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I'm fairly young so I'm not really looking for a long term girlfriend or anything, however to satisfy my needs I do have some girls that I mess around with. Nothing serious of course, as I know what these girls all want from me. ($) The girls I'm hanging around probably aren't the best influences now that I think about it lol.

Still have yet to find a quality girl that is considered "wifey" material, however I'm sure she will come along soon.
 

bringitnow28329

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Are you trolling? I was on tinder a grand total of 3 weeks before I concluded it was garbage. In those 3 weeks I had just shy of 400 matches. Went on 9 dates.

5-8 matches a week is nonsense.

However like I say, it's a terrible app unless you want to get into bed real quick with a stranger, although even then there are better ways of doing that.

Meeting girls on the street is the single best way imho of connecting with a girl. Everyone is so busy looking at their damn phones swiping left or right on some superficial app that when a guy approaches a girl and says "hi" she actually feels special.

Be a human not a robot ffs.

EDIT: Managed to miss the post by @SevenJay above. That is a great post on this topic!
It also depends on where you live. My mate lives in London so there's always matches to be found but I've heard from people who live in smaller towns/cities that there's not much out there.


Yeah I live in a small city and run out of matches in 1-5 minutes. In big cities it's pure gold.
 

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