Is your dating life fulfilling?

[Kaleb]

Absolutely terrible. Have yet to meet a single like minded lady using tinder or anything like it. Everybody's idea of fun seems to be partying and getting wasted all the time as well as a lack of financial intellect. IE check out my new car I just financed for graduating and am now trapped paying for. Help

 

[G-Man]

My dating advice: Go to church and lock down the first nice girl that isn't in a massive amount of debt. You think I'm setting the bar low - until you try to find a girl under 30 that isn't in debt. It's like finding a unicorn.

 

[Almantas]

Although I haven't found that 'special one' I have a suggestion to guys who are actively looking for one:

Hang around places you'd expect to find one. For instance, if you're looking for a woman who is into entrepreneurship, attend an entrepreneurship seminar and follow the following steps:

1) Begin prospecting - separate suspects from prospects
2) Build rapport - once you've found prospect, focus your attention on gaining trust and likeability
3) Identify preferences - spend more time listening, less time talking and identify what your cherry girl likes/dislikes
4) Deliver a persuasive conversation - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to deliver a killer conversation
5) Overcome objections - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to overcome objections in style
6) Close her - smile, be confident and close her by either getting her number (for beta dudes), kissing her (semi-beta dudes) or asking her to help you test a durability and bounce rate of a hotel mattress (alpha male)
7) Repeat the process or get referrals - if you've collected the right information, used it accordingly and properly closed her, she will undoubtedly be willing to repeat the process with you multiple times and will become your loyal cherry girl...however, if you've failed and she doesn't want to repeat the process, you could either repeat the step 5 or simply get referrals from her of other girls who are into your stuff...

Best of luck!

 

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[Almantas]

You'd date a girl that f***** you the first night you met?

Yikes.

If we both end up having sex on a first date it just means that we're really into each other. What determines if she's a dating material is what we do together after that night. I think I smell Victorian notions of propriety in your question...

 

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[SevenJay]

Did any tinder user consider that if you find a girl on tinder, she will be the kind of girl who looks for partners on tinder? Tinder by it's own nature is not, and will never be, a good strategy...here's one hell of a good reason to pass on a girl if you look for a relationship: she uses tinder.

If you need a nice person on your side, one you can count on, became a nice person one fine girl can count on, not the one who spends hours swiping left and right on tinder hoping to rotate his hand movement by 90 degrees that night...
Just to be clear: I see nothing wrong with casual sex and all, but having sex doesn't mean having a relationship: if you get frustrated by this kind of "relationships" or all the tinder crazyness, maybe you should start picking from other buckets. The ones with more ENTRY. Is too easy to download tinder, you will have to look for your soulmate through every kind of sociopathic, ugly, mediocre, boring people.

If you really want to get the most out of tinder: don't use it. The worst people are cutting out themselves from the game by relying on apps. The real ones are high hanging fruits, in the real world.
If you are looking for a significant relationship learn to listen, learn to talk to friends of friends like if you really cared about them, not only "party-talk", learn connecting with people, if you don't know where to start read "how to win friends and influence people", attend acting/music/diction classes (or any place that people with half brain would never consider), drop the PUA shit or only use it in the first minute then be real, raise your standards...and prepare to deserve your significant other.

You can actually use all the CENTS principle on dating

NEED
Who are you? What are your best qualities? Make sure your girlfriend finds those valuable. If she is a nomad artist or a couch potato who changes job every 6 months and you are an entrepreneur expect her to not understand you.

ENTRY
If she is easier than other girls (beacuse she is on tinder, because she is actually easy, or anything else that makes it easy), well: easy come easy go, she will be easier for others too.

CONTROL
You want to be in control of your emotions, don't idealize people, don't cast on her all your dreams only to convince yourself she is perfect or to hide her flaws. You either accept deficiencies or you don't, but don't ignore them and become obsessed with a person for no reason.

SCALE
You want a person that can walk on your side, if you like a girl becase she also likes game of thrones, or because she loves to wear pink panties, that's not gonna go far. You want a person with a set of values similar to yours, with whom you will be able to share many experiences and things in common in the future.

TIME
If she absorbs time from other important aspects of your life, beware: the more you invest, the more you will be like to fall for the sunk cost fallacy. "I've invested so much in this person....she must be the right one". It's a potent bias.

Good luck being content with a random match from an app.

 

[Ninjakid]

Well I can tell you that my life has been a lot more fulfilling since I stopped focusing on dating

 

[bringitnow28329]

Hey guys,

Been lurking for a while and wanted to get some feedback on an information product I have in the works on how to improve your dating life.

Is dating an area where a lot of fast laners could improve in? Are you unsatisfied with your dating life? How do you try to improve it (if at all)? Do you use dating apps? What has your experience been like?

I'd love to hear some input, and perhaps gets a few testers for my product once it's done.

Thanks!

Tinder changed everything....

 

[Waspy]

He gets 5-8 matches a week

Are you trolling? I was on tinder a grand total of 3 weeks before I concluded it was garbage. In those 3 weeks I had just shy of 400 matches. Went on 9 dates.

5-8 matches a week is nonsense.

However like I say, it's a terrible app unless you want to get into bed real quick with a stranger, although even then there are better ways of doing that.

Meeting girls on the street is the single best way imho of connecting with a girl. Everyone is so busy looking at their damn phones swiping left or right on some superficial app that when a guy approaches a girl and says "hi" she actually feels special.

Be a human not a robot ffs.

EDIT: Managed to miss the post by @SevenJay above. That is a great post on this topic!

 

[Lionhearted]

Absolutely terrible. Have yet to meet a single like minded lady using tinder or anything like it. Everybody's idea of fun seems to be partying and getting wasted all the time as well as a lack of financial intellect. IE check out my new car I just financed for graduating and am now trapped paying for. Help

When you are part of the 1% the 99% don't look so good. It's tough to find people who are prosperity minded and "Unscripted ". Obviously there is a need for decent dating platform so Gdalf may be onto something here. You always find what you are looking for after you stop looking for it. Just as joke,"You always find it in the last place you look." LOL

 

[GuestUser4aMPs1]

Based on flipping through some of the comments I'm assuming OP is looking for some pain points related to dating in general, but now we're merging into the dating app angle, which I feel can be improved. Take this with a grain of salt, or feel free to scratch my itch. If one person has this issue, I have a fair guess a lot of people will. But seriously, these issues I'm about to bring up have been bugging me so hard for several months.

On the other hand, this solution has the possibility to completely ruin dating platforms for everyone.

Male behavior on these platforms usually goes something like this (On Tinder):
1: Swipe Right on EVERYONE. Indefinitely. If you have the plus plan, you can swipe literally everyone within your specifications.
2: See who matches
3: Filter through results and unmatch uggos
4: Start chatting to everyone and see who sticks

Now for some painpoints...
-Doing this Manually sucks.
-The only way to get a semi-reliable bot to do this automatically was Bernie AI, which recently shut down.
-Bernie AI would "like" people based on facial features. Cool idea, but dude. I'm on Tinder. I'm not looking at your face. I'd really rather just have something that runs in the background that likes everyone.

Bells and Whistles?
I'll begin with a story. December 2016, I drove 100 miles away to the nearest college town (big Ivy League Uni) just to get away. I ran my "Swipe Right Routine," and lo and behold, there is a higher concentration of college chicks who matched me. It was an absurd number of matches.

But you know what sucks? I wanted to message ALL of them. Imagine copy+pasting for half an hour.
And then there was logistics. Moving "leads" down the "pipeline." Staying on top of it all is like another job.

Now, Bernie AI had an autoresponder (with multiple stages...imagine that!), but the UI was clunky.
So an incredibly helpful tool would be not only a tool to send out new icebreakers to my matches in an easy-to-manage UI, but as a data-driven person I also want to see the response rate of my icebreakers. Then A/B test my icebreakers. Create new autoresponder sequences, all the way to an AI scheduling the date.

There's even a dude who linked Tinder to a CRM to manage his "leads." It was insane. I'll have to find the article and post it below.

The worst part of the article is that he was only mildly good-looking. Imagine the "Nice Guy" Tuba player in high school with a flat tire...20 years later and losing hair.
Can you imagine how much a Leonardo Dicaprio lookalike could leverage a bot and autoresponder sequence?

The final nail in the coffin would be to do everything from above, but link ALL of your "leads" from multiple dating apps into one platform.
A unified place to see everyone from Happn, Tinder, Bumble, Hot or Not, etc... Again, Bernie AI did this but only for Tinder and Happn. Your ability to support multiple apps will depend on the app itself obviously.

Anyway, this has sorta turned into a long-a$$ rant, but seriously.
The only logical way to go about making a "dating app for Fastlaners" or a dating tool for people who don't make dating a huge priority right now is just to have a program that runs and does everything for you.

So there you have it. A blueprint to potentially destroy the dating app space, or a blueprint to allow the small power users to leverage it infinitely.

 

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[TonyStark]

Why, you asking me out?

 

[Sully1994]

or asking her to help you test a durability/bounce rate of a hotel mattress (alpha male)

You'd date a girl that f***** you the first night you met?

Yikes.

 

[GDalf]

This is all good stuff, I was interested to hear how fast lane types might experience these apps differently. Still happy to hear about more experiences!

 

[Millenial_Kid5K1]

You'd date a girl that f***** you the first night you met?

Yikes.

One of the most real relationships I ever had was with a woman who did that. She was loyal as hell, too. Pity she was 20 years my senior, would have made great marriage material.

To answer the OP's question, yes. Dating is a huge pain point for most people I talk to. Unfortunately, that pain point arises because of the individuals they're dating, not because of the service that connects them.

My first thought would be a secular dating service focused on long term relationships/marriage, like e-harmony but way better.

 

[GDalf]

Right, can definitely get behind that idea. I'm thinking of a more entrepreneur/fastlane type of dating resource, almost along the lines of the 4 hour work week, but for dating. I've had a lot of success using dating apps and other resources to fast-track the dating experience (in my opinion), and wondering if this type of information would be useful to others.

 

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[GDalf]

couple angles I'm looking at taking are that it's geared more towards the fastlaner, so how to make efficient use of the dating tools out there today (read: apps) to save time and improve the quality of your dates, and includes more real life applications such as screenshots from actual convos, success/failure stories, and plans of action for implementation.

I've had extensive conversations with plenty of people from both genders regarding modern dating and dating apps, and I think there's some room there - of course, if it's quality stuff. I do have a working draft and will be looking for alpha readers at some point if anyone is interested!

 

[startinup]

This may be a bit off-topic, but if I see somewhere I can help, got to do it.

Absolutely terrible. Have yet to meet a single like minded lady using tinder or anything like it. Everybody's idea of fun seems to be partying and getting wasted all the time as well as a lack of financial intellect. IE check out my new car I just financed for graduating and am now trapped paying for. Help

Unfortunately this is where Tinder is weak. It can be good if you're just trying to have fun, but for a relationship with more like-minded people you can't use Tinder as you're only option.

Here's a simple process that if followed will find you like-minded girls:

1. Think about the types of girls you'd like to meet.
2. Where would these types of girls hang out or go regularly? (Bookstores, cafes, on the street, the gym, etc.) Brainstorm a short list.
3. Go to the places that you brainstormed and use the following questions to help pick the best. How many girls do you normally see there? Are there lots of new girls there or just the same ones? Go to the places at different times and see if certain times are better.
4. Pick the 3 best places.
5. Put it on your schedule to go to those places to meet girls a couple times a week. You have to do it to make the day successful.
6. Go to the places, set a goal to approach x girls you think look interesting/cute/etc. (The goal should be just out of your comfort zone)
7. Find a girl who fits what you're looking for

 

[Sanj Modha]

Are you trolling? I was on tinder a grand total of 3 weeks before I concluded it was garbage. In those 3 weeks I had just shy of 400 matches. Went on 9 dates.

5-8 matches a week is nonsense.

However like I say, it's a terrible app unless you want to get into bed real quick with a stranger, although even then there are better ways of doing that.

Meeting girls on the street is the single best way imho of connecting with a girl. Everyone is so busy looking at their damn phones swiping left or right on some superficial app that when a guy approaches a girl and says "hi" she actually feels special.

Be a human not a robot ffs.

EDIT: Managed to miss the post by @SevenJay above. That is a great post on this topic!

400 matches in 3 weeks? Really? That's almost 20 matches per day.

I don't know what my friend does but his FB posts are pretty interesting to say the least. And it's all off Tinder.

I've never used Tinder since I'm married and actually went up to my future wife and spoke to her like normal people do/did. However, Tinder might peak my interest if I can buy ads there. That's all I care about.

 

[MiguelHammond10]

Although I haven't found that 'special one' I have a suggestion to guys who are actively looking for one:

Hang around places you'd expect to find one. For instance, if you're looking for a woman who is into entrepreneurship, attend an entrepreneurship seminar and follow the following steps:

1) Begin prospecting - separate suspects from prospects
2) Build rapport - once you've found prospect, focus your attention on gaining trust and likeability
3) Identify preferences - spend more time listening, less time talking and identify what your cherry girl likes/dislikes
4) Deliver a persuasive conversation - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to deliver a killer conversation
5) Overcome objections - use everything you've learned from 1-3 steps to overcome objections in style
6) Close her - smile, be confident and close her by either getting her number (for beta dudes), kissing her (semi-beta dudes) or asking her to help you test a durability and bounce rate of a hotel mattress (alpha male)
7) Repeat the process or get referrals - if you've collected the right information, used it accordingly and properly closed her, she will undoubtedly be willing to repeat the process with you multiple times and will become your loyal cherry girl...however, if you've failed and she doesn't want to repeat the process, you could either repeat the step 5 or simply get referrals from her of other girls who are into your stuff...

Best of luck!

you are giving tips so why haven't you found yours and still searching ? if these steps really work. i am just asking.

 

[Almantas]

you are giving tips so why haven't you found yours and still searching ? if these steps really work. i am just asking.

Sincere apologies if I've missed something, but where did I mention that "I am still searching?". I am single by my own choice, although I hang around with women from time to time - so, my dating life is in check and steps are relatively effective.

 

[Christopher777]

Tinder is a cakewalk. Massive leverage. I still prefer real-life approaching<--blue balls ratio is lower lol

 

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[GDalf]

Hey guys,

Been lurking for a while and wanted to get some feedback on an information product I have in the works on how to improve your dating life.

Is dating an area where a lot of fast laners could improve in? Are you unsatisfied with your dating life? How do you try to improve it (if at all)? Do you use dating apps? What has your experience been like?

I'd love to hear some input, and perhaps gets a few testers for my product once it's done.

Thanks!

 

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[Raaa]

Well, I've invited a guy to a tech networking entrepreneur BBQ event. Two birds in one stone?

I don't date often though

 

[Maxboost]

Hey guys,

Been lurking for a while and wanted to get some feedback on an information product I have in the works on how to improve your dating life.

Is dating an area where a lot of fast laners could improve in? Are you unsatisfied with your dating life? How do you try to improve it (if at all)? Do you use dating apps? What has your experience been like?

I'd love to hear some input, and perhaps gets a few testers for my product once it's done.

Thanks!

What is your idea? Is it another PUA book or an App? Most advice out there is awful

 

[GDalf]

Not 100% set on it yet which is why I'm conducting some "research", but I'm leaning towards an e-book. Nothing too intense, but there seems to be a market out there, especially considering, as you say, most advice out there is awful. I think I can provide real value

 

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[Maxboost]

Not 100% set on it yet which is why I'm conducting some "research", but I'm leaning towards an e-book. Nothing too intense, but there seems to be a market out there, especially considering, as you say, most advice out there is awful. I think I can provide real value

How would your advice be different? Most of the advice out there are plaguarized from other PUA nonsense out there.

 

[Maxboost]

couple angles I'm looking at taking are that it's geared more towards the fastlaner, so how to make efficient use of the dating tools out there today (read: apps) to save time and improve the quality of your dates, and includes more real life applications such as screenshots from actual convos, success/failure stories, and plans of action for implementation.

I've had extensive conversations with plenty of people from both genders regarding modern dating and dating apps, and I think there's some room there - of course, if it's quality stuff. I do have a working draft and will be looking for alpha readers at some point if anyone is interested!

I use to struggle with this area of my life and I can already give you some negative feedback. These ideas have been discussed on other forums and I don't really think there is much value. Dating Apps are the WORSE advice you can give an average looking dude. The pareto principle applies, 20% of dudes(6ft tall, rich, good looking. 5%body fat) are dating 80% of the women. Dating Apps are ENTIRELY based on looks alone. I was thinking of writing one myself but thought the market has already been oversaturated with bullshit PUA that I put it on the bottom of my ideas list. You have to come up with something truly ground breaking.

 

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[GDalf]

I definitely agree with most of what you're saying, so trying to create some discussion to see if I can spot any room for improvement. I also think there are guys that could benefit from some good advice, but like you said, the market is flooded and they may not even be out there willing to pay for said advice.

I also think that part of it is geography, because success or failure with certain apps can vary widely depending on what city/type of city you are in (government town, university town, etc.). Not 100% sure if I'll go through with it, but I really appreciate the feedback

 

[Maxboost]

I definitely agree with most of what you're saying, so trying to create some discussion to see if I can spot any room for improvement. I also think there are guys that could benefit from some good advice, but like you said, the market is flooded and they may not even be out there willing to pay for said advice.

I also think that part of it is geography, because success or failure with certain apps can vary widely depending on what city/type of city you are in (government town, university town, etc.). Not 100% sure if I'll go through with it, but I really appreciate the feedback

You have to give some free samples of your product before people bite and it has to work. This is covered really well in Unscripted .

 

[Dunkafelics]

My wife put a serious crimp in my dating life...

Agreed @JScott lol.

I took some dating courses back in the day that I did find quite helpful as they were direct exposure where you had to approach girls one on one throughout the day. It was a good experience overall and really helped me fulfill a desire that was lacking in my life at the time. Looking back at it now, I wish I didn't spend so much time caught up trying to get women and stayed focused on the real life goal of creating freedom.

I think the approach is great, but it comes down to finding people who have like minded values for the most part. So potentially looking at factors like:

- Are both people pursuing a fastlane path or have aspirations to pursue a fastlane path while dating.
- Could these potential partners have supportive qualities when the going gets tough?
- Do they aspire to have a life of freedom and potential uncertainty or would they rather have a life of comfort and stability?
- Do potential suitors have good qualities and actually want to add value to dating/relationship/etc.?

I am kind of rambling here, I think you have a good area to focus on. Keep in mind, the barrier to entry is low in this area and as others have stated a lot of the information out there is regurgitated over and over again.

Good luck!

 

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