Is it possible for very rich people to hang out with poor/working class people?

[Kevin88660]

Olov,

I find your subject matter and the questions you raise to be something I've dealt with for years - and it's led me to a conclusion I would have never believed when I was a younger man. Now that I'm reaching my senior years, I've come to the conclusion that it is poorer people who do not want to associate with wealthier and more successful people.

I am definitely middle class. I've done okay to survive and pay the bills, but I've never reached success on the level I thought I should have. While at the same time seeing those closest to me, even some very good friends, attain great success and wealth. The strange thing is over the years I feel less and less like doing things with them. It's a shame because they are very decent and good people, but associating with them reminds me of my shortcomings. My wife thinks I'm being silly but as a woman (in a world that does not place as much demand to become successful as with men) she doesn't understand how men compare themselves to others.

And, over the years, as I've brought up this subject in discussion with others, mostly men, who I assess as being on the same level of success as myself, I've been surprised to learn I am not the only middle class or poor person who feels this way. So, I've arrived at the conclusion that wealthy and successful people have no problem hanging out with those below them on the income, wealth and success scale. It's those who see themselves on the lower end of that scale who do not want to associate with those at the top end. To put it simply and harshly, who wants to hang around people where you will constantly remind yourself of what a failure you have been?

For example, some of my wealthy and successful friends will call to invite me to have, as you say, a pint with them - and I know they want to pick up the tab. But, here I am, far poorer then they, and I will be the one who insists on paying the tab. Why? Because it's my one and feeble opportunity to appear like I'm successful. In my mind allowing them to pay is like throwing in the towel and displaying what a failure I am.

Over many years I've come in contact with many wealthy people and I am yet to run into one who has not been kind or generous to me or others around them. I guess, in the end, the answer to your question isn't based on how you see others wealthier and more successful than yourself, but rather how you see yourself.

In some ways hanging out people who are financially successful could be a little bit overrated imo, it is something that I realize slowly over a long way.

You can always learn things from others and it becomes a beneficial experience if two of you work in the same sector and face similar problems. There are always things to learn from each other.

It is also interesting if they are in a different business and you can gain an INSIDERS opinion.

But their financial success is largely not relevant to how much you gain from that experience, whether they are well past the finish line or still running towards the first milestone in their life.

It is easier to network with someone at your level than to network someone at a different level. People who are very wealthy or own a big enough business typically have professional accountants, lawyers serving them. They don’t really need you. They can be nice and friendly to you but both of you know that your resources are unlikely to be useful in solving his or her current pain point.

To benefit from knowing Dr Dre, you need to be at least as good as Eminem in the 90s, when your small but growing white fans are at least worth a thing. Otherwise your time is better spent with other broke rappers who at least can tell you what to improve on.

 

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[WJK]

In some ways hanging out people who are financially successful could be a little bit overrated imo, it is something that I realize slowly over a long way.

You can always learn things from others and it becomes a beneficial experience if two of you work in the same sector and face similar problems. There are always things to learn from each other.

It is also interesting if they are in a different business and you can gain an INSIDERS opinion.

But their financial success is largely not relevant to how much you gain from that experience, whether they are well past the finish

It is easier to network with someone at your level than to network someone at a different level. People who are very wealthy or own a big enough business typically have professional accountants, lawyers serving them. They don’t really need you. They can be nice and friendly to you but both of you know that your resources are unlikely to be useful in solving his or her current pain point.

To benefit from knowing Dr Dre, you need to be at least as good as Eminem in the 90s, when your small but growing white fans are at least worth a thing. Otherwise your time is better spent with other broke rappers who at least can tell you what to improve on.

Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. Everyone has challenges and pitfalls. Everyone feels lonely and afraid at times. It doesn't matter how many zeros are end of your bank accounts.

I like to fly under the radar. People underestimate me all the time. I've designed my life that way.

One method is by asking questions -- lots of open-ended questions. God gave me two ears and one mouth, so I try to use them in that ratio. I try to get the other person talking about themselves. I know it's their favorite subject and I learn a lot from all the conversations. My husband always asks me if I must talk to everyone. I admit that I do. It makes my life interesting.

I choose the attitude that I am here to serve -- not to take. I'm careful how and when I assert my power and knowledge. I can afford to be low-key and quietly help things happen. The bottom line is that I can always say no or step in if I need to. But I see those moments as a personal failure.

I am most valuable when I help others to shine and feel good about themselves. If I can engineer the right situation and choose the right people for that moment, I shouldn't have to flex my muscles or step into the fray. Better yet, the most powerful win is IF I can get them to adopt the idea or action as their own. I want them to feel like it came from them, thereby empowering them.